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Dr. James McAuliffe
found that baboons could test software, and perform simple
programming tasks. The results were published recently in J.
Amer. Zool. SAN DIEGO, CA -
Here by the San Diego zoo, experiments last month with
baboons have proved that higher primates can perform
software testing, traverse complex menus, and code simple
XML schemas. The finding have implications for the entire
software industry, with some scientists predicting routine
programming such as maintenance and report writing will be
performed by teams of primates within 10 years. "Baboons and chimpanzees
can use computers, do software testing, and even program,"
explained Dr. McAuliffe. After simple training in Windows
navigation, McAuliffe presented the baboons with modern
development tools. None of the animals understood Java
programming, even the "alpha" animals. However, most
subjects immediately understood Visual Basic 6.0.
Humans and higher
primates share approximately 97% of their DNA in common.
Recent research in suggests computing is a task that most
higher primates can easily perform. Visual Basic 6.0 was the
preferred IDE for the majority of experiment primate
subjects.
The effect of using music to enhance the activity of undergraduate laboratory research assistants was investigated. Many aspects of the interaction between the undergraduate and the laboratory bench leave much to be desired. We focused on a simple -- yet easily quantifiable -- laboratory skill, the noble art of accurate pipetting.
Many publications have documented the beneficial effects of music on mind and body. Intelligence improves while listening to music. Classical music also causes increases in the milk yield of Holstein cows. We therefore applied music to pipetting. Our premise was that pipetting errors must originate somewhere within the undergraduate central nervous system (UCNS), such as it is.
First we discovered that when a student pipetted to music, his or her speed and accuracy were transformed. We witnessed dazzling refinements in all aspects of pipetting that came under our scrutiny (data not shown). The authors' personal recommendation for music ideally suited for this purpose is Strauss' "The Blue Danube."
We also found a synergistic effect when music was used to synchronise the pipetting of all workers on the same bench. It is our conviction that no display of synchronized motion in the natural world can rival the heavenly vision of a symmetrical row of researchers rhythmically pipetting. The majestic beauty of such a sight has moved 100% (two of two) of the investigators to tears. This combination of laboratory procedure with music clearly shows the missing link between science and art.
We were unable to obtain sufficiently large samples of CNS tissue from our subjects to do a proper biochemical analysis. Therefore the molecular basis, if any, for the effect remains unknown.
This cutting edge research was shamelessly plagiarized from the Annals of Improbable Research. It has been re-formatted and shortened for the lower attention span of Litterbox readers.
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