Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! That Cigarette

ID: 050621.2043

On the back cover of the September 20, 1952 issue of Collier's magazine — which included Jack Finney's story, Man of the Cocktail Hour — is a photograph of actor Richard Carlson — possibly on the set of Ray Bradbury's It Came from Outer Space — smoking a Camels cigarette. He's quoted as saying "I tried Camels as my steady smoke to see how they suited my throat. That's so important to an actor … They get on fine with my throat, pack after pack, and you can't match them for taste." Carlson, who also starred in Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Try and Get Me!, died on November 24, 1977, aged 65, of a cerebral hemorrhage. Cigarettes were the least of his worries.

Cigarette advertising was common during the fifties, even featuring physicians who touted smoking cigarettes as a way to relax, and ease tension. (It is!) But as we all know, smoking's bad for you. Or is it?

As an ex-smoker, and confirmed contrarian, I've kept an informal list of the positive effects of smoking. Until recently, I only had three. A Dutch study found bee keepers who smoked had less incidence of mite infestation of their bees than non-smoking bee keepers. As detrimental as second-hand smoke is for humans, it's apparently absolutely deadly for bee mites. Swedish uranium miners who smoked had a lower incidence of radiation poisoning than non-smoking miners. And finally, like bee mites, adenovirus is so susceptible to cigarette smoke that smoking researchers cannot work with the virus without killing it.

Now I have a fourth example. In the current (July 2005) issue of Scientific American, Andres M. Lozano and Suneil K. Kalia report on page 71 of their article, New Movement in Parkinson's, "Experts now accept that smoking and coffee drinking can be somewhat protective [against Parkinson's disease.]" Oh yeah: They also say, "— although clearly the risks of smoking far outweigh this particular benefit."

Rats!

Actually, the harmful effects of smoking had been known in popular culture well before 1952. Country singer Tex Williams, a heavy smoker who died of lung cancer, was best known for his 1947 song, Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette):

Now I'm a fellow with a heart of gold
And the ways of a gentleman I've been told
Kind-of-a-guy that wouldn't even harm a flea

But if me and a certain character met
The guy that invented that cigarette
I'd murder that son-of-a gun in the first degree

It ain't cuz I don't smoke 'em myself
and i don't reckon that it'll hinder your health
I smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet

But nicotine slaves are all the same
at a pettin' party or a poker game
Everything gotta stop while they have a cigarette

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death.

Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait,
But you just gotta have another cigarette.

In a game of chance the other night
Old dame fortune was good and right
The kings and queens they kept on comin' around

Aw, I was hittin' em good and bettin' 'em high
But my bluff didn't work on a certain guy
He kept callin' and layin' his money down

See, he'd raise me then I'd raise him
and I'd say to him buddy ya gotta sink or swim
Finally called me but didn't raise the bet!

— Hmmph! I said Aces Full Pal — I got you!
He said, "I'll pay up in a minute or two
But right now, i just gotta have another cigarette."

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death.

Now the other night I had a date
with the cutest little gal in any state
A high-bred, uptown, fancy little dame

She said she loved me and it seemd to me
That things were sorta like they oughtta be
So hand in hand we strolled down lovers lane

She was a long way from a chunk of ice
And our pettin' party was goin' real nice
And I got an idea I might have been there yet

So I give her a kiss and a little squeeze
Then she said, "Travis, Excuse me Please
But I just gotta have a cigarette."

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death.

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