To Provide us with a contrast to Lutenblag we returned to the hotel, gathered our belongings and boarded a gas powered subway train and headed for Stajon Kentral in order to catch the overnight train to Vajana, several hundred kilometers to the South of Lutenblag and nestled high in the specatular great plains of molvania. Staijon Kentral is chaos when we arrive and it is difficult to locate the ticket counter to collect our second class sleeper tickets; which Andrew booked on the internet. We eventually conclude that to collect tickets for out bound trains on a friday or 3rd saturday of the month it is necessary to queue at an even numbered ticket window, in the southern quadrant of the station and not at an odd numbered window northern quadrant (that is only appropriate on second alternate wednedays and in weeks surrounding pentecost). Tickets in hand we proceed to platform 7b South and look for the carriage in which are bunks have been reserved. As we walk past the 3rd class coaches people are loading their worldly posessions through the windows of the train, this seems to take some of the goats and chickens by surprise judging by the sqwaking and faeces being produced.

Locating a particular coach on a Molvanian train is a art form in its own right, coaches are numbered from 1 - 12 unless the train is southbound and less than 10 carriages in which case the last 15 letters of the molvanian alphabet are used to denote carriages and freight wagons (3rd class). We locate our somewhat basic compartment in coach 7k just as the train is pulling out of Kentral Staijon.

I was a little taken aback by the Molvanian Goulash of Freshwater Eel

Just as I am getting some useful work done on my Charlize Theron / Tropical Beach / Large jar of Nutella fantasy a series of violent explosions and corresponding lurches from the train tell me that Andrew is still suffering the after effects of the cabbage sorbet. Just as i am getting back to sleep a mustachioed man in a beige uniform brandishing an AK-47 enters the compartment and repeatedly clears his throat, Andrew who studied a little Molvanian (she was called Aliczja) at University translates that this is the sleeping car attendant and he wishes to turn our beds down in preparation for our arrival, The attendant then points out that we should also tip him atleast $20 USD for him not shooting the lock off our door, Andrew pays the man and compliments him on his mustache which attracts an additional 10% tip.

Vajana sits in an enchanting location, a beautiful medieval Eastern European city nesteld between Lake Debrizca and the undulating hills of the Molvanian plains, even the concrete edifice that is Vajana Nuclear Powjer Plajnt detracts little from this wonderful setting. On arrival we hasten out into the town and place our bags at the Vajana Ritzzz hotel, Andrew informs me that his shorts are heavily skid marked after the cabbage sorbet so we head to our room and he takes a shower, he decides to wash the skidmarks away using the bidet, after a few painful screams and loud bangs he emerges from the room looking a broken man, exclaiming "there is a fine line between personal hygiene and colonic irrigation and that bidet has crossed it." Feeling a little better we head out into the main square we are both struck by the sheer beauy of the scene, a majestic square opens ahead of us with the town hall at the far end and the inveitable statue of Bu Bu in the middle of square. Turning our backs we look at the hotel and note that its' design - based around that of 1950s Russian Chemical Weapons bunkers somewhat ruins the ambience of the square. We decide to get cultured and head for a quick trip round the Museum of medieval dentistry, the museum is informative and a veritable authority on the subject of inflammatory gum disease.

The Beautiful Beach at Vajana, the powerstation adds to the modern post industrial atmosphere

We meet the slovakians at the restuarant and take our table and all opt for the house special, venison served in a flaming cognac sauce. Vajana is a famous wine growing region and we take advantage of this by amply ordering several bottles of the Soursauvignon - the world's only red Reisling. Svetlana it transpires is something of a wine taster and she explains in a beautiful Eastern European accent that the unique taste of fermented lemon rind is acquired via a unique filtration process. Conversation over dinner turns to University and Andrew explains how his degree in Applied German and Micro Economics is serving him well in his chosen field of Sports Psychology, Anna seems fascinated and she is quick to add that she studied Applied German, and at once the two of them are engaged in a long and detailed conversation about modern standards of umlaut useage in Bavarian German. Alanja is quieter than the others, she is recovering from a quiet night with a bottle of Garlic Brandy. After dinner Alanja decides to retire her perfectly proportioned breasts and supple bum back to her hotel and makes her excuses. The rest of us head for Avenue De Busj Busj and the bars there in. Bar Bljodnik is first up and a few Debrizca's are despatched, Anna and Andrew are into a detailed discussion about the circumflex and the semi colon. Svetlana and i drink more and discuss our experiences of Molvania. After a few more Debrizcas it is time to empty the bladder, the toilet door is a little unusual, I spy the button to lock the door inside the door handle on the outside of the door. I press the button and close the door as I enter. After completing the task in hand I try to leave the bathroom, but I as inadvertantly locked it on the way in and the only way to unlock the door is by pressing the button, which is the other side of the door, I am stuck. Spying a gap between the top of the bathroom wall and the roof I haul myself up and stand on the cistern to peer over into what appears to be the ladies loo. The Molvanian woman sitting on the throne the other side is not impressed. I retreat and wait for the sound of flushing from the adjacent loo. Once the old warhorse nextdoor is complete (after what sounded like some pretty violent dihorrea) i haul myself up and over the wall. Swinging my legs over i gently lower myself down placing one foot in the basin and one on the toilet roll holder which is promptly seperated from the wall, just then the basin emits a worrying crack and it becomes clear it is time for a sharp exit.

Back in the bar I tell svetlana what has happened and she laughs and also nurses my cuts and bruises. It is at this point things get interesting and more drunken. Andrew and Anna return from the bar with Brandy slammers, Drink the garlic brandy, lick the pepper grated on your hand and finally bite the slice of beetroot. After this there is more beer and some cabbage liquour. later we adjourn to Bar Busj Busj an unusual tractor factory themed bar and there are more slammers and more beer. things end up in the Vajana Disco Nakttclubben, one thing leads to another and the next morning i awake in Svetlana's hostel room...