Even
the process of filling the audience has been reinvented. In the three previous
elections, the town hall audience was made up entirely of voters who identified
themselves as "undecided." This year's event will consist of equal
numbers of so-called "soft" Bush supporters and "soft"
Kerry supporters as determined by the Gallup organization. And who has final say
over Gallup's selection process? The campaigns themselves.
-ALAN
SCHROEDER, 09/27/2004, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
The Gallup organization bravely goes in search of soft supporters of George Bush and John Kerry.
POSSIBLE VOTER: Hello?
GALLUP POLLSTER: Hello. Is Mrs. Smith at home?
POSSIBLE VOTER: Ms. Smith. I mean, this is Mrs. Smith, but I prefer—just call me Karen.
GALLUP POLLSTER: Are you registered to vote in the upcoming presidential election?
POSSIBLE VOTER: I guess so.
GALLUP POLLSTER: Are you likely to vote?
POSSIBLE VOTER: WellÉthe polling place is on my way home from work, so sure, IÕll vote.
GALLUP ORGANIZATION: Do you consider yourself an undecided voter?
POSSIBLE VOTER: I havenÕt decided yet.
GALLUP POLLSTER: (excited) Really? You havenÕt decided whether youÕre undecided?
POSSIBLE VOTER: Right.
GALLUP POLLSTER: So if you had to choose a candidate right now, which would it be?
POSSIBLE VOTER: Well, I guess if I had to choose, it would be Bush. No, Kerry. No, Bush, definitely Bush.
GALLUP POLLSTER: (muffled) WeÕve got a live one! (Into the phone) What is it that you like about Mr. Bush?
POSSIBLE VOTER: UmÉwell, I guess heÕs tall. And he always sounds very calm.
GALLUP POLLSTER: Tall? Oh, so youÕre actually in favor of Mr. Kerry.
POSSIBLE VOTER: KerryÕs the tall one? Then him, sure.
GALLUP POLLSTER: Great! Would you like to come to St. Louis to participate in a town-hall style debate, and speak with the candidates themselves?
POSSIBLE VOTER: What would I have to do?
GALLUP POLLSTER: YouÕll be on television, and youÕll have to prepare a question for Mr. Kerry that isnÕt very hard to answer.
POSSIBLE VOTER: The question doesnÕt have to be hard? Well, all right. IÕve always wanted to see that Arch thing. Sort of.
A few days later, in St. Louis, the Gallup representatives introduce the prospective Town Hall participants to representatives of the respective campaigns.
GALLUP POLLSTER: And this is Ms. Smith, a Bush supporter.
POSSIBLE VOTER: I thought we settled on Kerry?
GALLUP POLLSTER: Right, Kerry.
KERRY CAMPAIGN WORKER: And do you have a question prepared for Mr. Kerry?
POSSIBLE VOTER: (looking at Pollster) Yes?
GALLUP POLLSTER: (reading question) ÒMr. Kerry, being tall, do you think you would look down on other nations? Or, perhaps, raise AmericaÕs stature in the world?Ó
KERRY CAMPAIGN WORKER: Sorry, sheÕs too strident.
GALLUP POLLSTER: (crestfallen) I thought we might be going too far. Mrs. Smith, do you think we could change ÒtallÓ to Òabove-average heightÓ?
POSSIBLE VOTER: What?
©2004 by Kiersten Conner-Sax
From Ò50 TriesÓ at kiersten.connersax.com