Many
Happy Returns
By Kiersten Conner-Sax
It's right about now that weary gift recipients can't wait to get all sorts of crap out of their closets and back to the stores.
But it's not always easy. Retailers slash prices immediately after December 24th, offering deep discounts. Those same discounts can mean a loss of value to the gift recipients, or Òungrateful bastards,Ó as gift-givers sometimes call them.
If the gift recipient has a gift receipt, the transaction is no problem. Cash, or, more likely, merchandise credit, is returned in the amount that the gift giver originally paid. Lose the receipt, however, and you may lose some of your fill of holiday cheer. That fair isle button cardigan that your mother bought at the Gap for $59.50 may be worth only $19.99 as of 7:00 a.m. December 25th.
ÒYour mother may really believe that you need a nostalgic, multicolored cardigan,Ó says Susan Williams, recipient of many unwanted gifts.
Williams usually smiles graciously and thanks the gift giver, even if the gift is unwanted. Meanwhile, she is assessing its cash value.
We suspected that many gift recipients share Ms. Williams' sentiments, and decided to do a survey of what people are returning this season, and why.
Shearling was a big hit on the runway, and a big hit with
shoppers as the weather grew colder. But Banana Republic's shearling trapper
hat wasn't what Todd Freeman was looking for. ÒI live in Los Angeles,Ó he says.
ÒI guess I'm going to have to take the loss.Ó
The hat has been marked down from $198 to $99.
Recipient Hillary Johnson was actually thrilled to receive a
coral-colored wool tartan tote from J. Crew, along with matching tartan big-bow
flats. ÒI hate them!Ó she says, smiling. ÒBut the receipt was right there. My
boyfriend has terrible taste, but he's certainly willing to open up his
wallet.Ó The company's limited-edition paisley pants are similarly unlikely to
become collector's items.
Lisa Remin was thrilled to receive a platter from Tiffany
with a clematis flower motif from her Aunt Ruth. But Lisa was disappointed. ÒIt
was earthenware, and it was only $80,Ó she says. ÒYou can't get anything good
for $80 at Tiffany. People can really screw your expectations with that blue
box.Ó
Some don't even have that moment of excitement. Rather than
the stainless steel mandoline he had been hoping for, the Williams-Sonoma box
Adam Lupu received contained what he calls Òthe gift of meat.Ó His brother sent
him the company's Frenched pork chops, which could be neither gift-wrapped nor
returned. ÒWe fed them to the dog,Ó he says.
Some unreturnable gifts can't be fed to the pets. Jennifer
Lennon's daughter, Hayley, received a pinto pony glider from Ms. Lennon's
mother-in-law. The toy is the size of a large ottoman and takes up a sizable
portion of Lennon's Manhattan apartment. ÒI'd love to return it and get the
$399 it was going for,Ó she says. ÒBut I don't think it will fit in the car,
and of course Elaine would ask me where it was.Ó
Hayley now sleeps on the pony instead of her toddler bed,
which had to be given to charity.
The unreturnable gift raises the specter of another
questionable practice: so-called Òregifting,Ó in which an unwanted gift is
passed along to an unsuspecting other. Alexandra Cushner thought that the mink
clutch she received from her grandmother was a family heirloom, until she saw
it at Target for $22.99. She wrapped it up and passed it along to her son's
pre-school teacher.
The teacher, Gina Simmons, was not surprised. ÒI can spot
the regifters coming a mile away,Ó she says. ÒI usually just give their
children a little less attention.Ó
©2004 by Kiersten Conner-Sax
From Ò50 TriesÓ at kiersten.connersax.com