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THE ETHICIST BY KIERSTEN CONNER-SAX (AS CHARLIE SPENCER) A Hummer of a Problem Last week, I was driving my Hummer through Afghanistan
when I spotted Osama bin Laden, so I ran him down and killed him. Was my
action ethical? I will be depriving future ethics classes of an embodiment of
evil to discuss, i.e., "Would it have been right to kill Osama bin Laden
when he was a baby if you knew what he was going to do?" Most classes
currently use Hitler, but the Nazis are getting a little tired. ALAN RUMSBERG, FORT WORTH, TEXAS Not ethical. Massive sport utility vehicles, like your Hummer, are polluting the air we breathe, degrading the roads we drive, and fuelling the conflict in the Middle East. Using one to flatten a murderer doesnÕt change those facts. Ethics classes will always have a consummate "evildoer" to kick around. According to Professor Edward Jager of Columbia University, "Self-important academic navel-gazers will always find a convenient villain, be it Darth Vader, Adolf Hitler, or someone else." So trade in your monster truck for something with a hybrid engine, and you can run down terrorists with a clear conscience. I am the C. E. O. of a major pharmaceutical company.
Recently, a man broke into a pharmacy and stole a supply of one of our drugs,
as it was too expensive for him to buy and his wife would have died without
it. Is it therefore ethical for me to indulge in accounting irregularities to
overstate our profits? The man has not been caught, and we can't be certain
how many other conditions his wife may have. JEFFREY GOODEN, NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW JERSEY Two wrongs don't make a right. But three wrongs get you awfully close. Your company was wrong to overprice the drug at the cost of peopleÕs lives. The thief was wrong to steal, however noble his reason. But what of the innocent bystanders in this situation—your stockholders? They have done nothing wrong, apart from investing in a conglomerate engaged in inefficient pricing. Those shareholders donÕt deserve to be punished. Cook the books to keep them from getting hurt. Lately, I have been dating my wife's cousin. My wife
and I grew apart some time ago. The cousin and I are very much in love, and
now, sheÕs pregnant. I need to tell my wife, and would like to do so as ethically
as possible. Which situation would be better: to tell her on Dr. Phil, or
Jerry Springer? EARL WRIGHT, DARIEN, CONN. Your wife deserves to hear such devastating news in a supportive, preferably private environment. This advice would appear to favor Dr. Phil. In reality, his show is just as exploitative as Mr. SpringerÕs, but veiled by a thin veneer of compassion. Ethics cannot tell you what to do, but you are wise to think hard in order to ease your wife's pain. Do both shows provide hair and makeup? The contents of goody bags may also play a part in your decision. I am an oncologist at a renowned cancer hospital in
Manhattan. I recently discovered a cure for cancer, but if I release it, IÕll
be putting myself, and a lot of other people, out of business. In a
capitalist society, is it more important to be ethical for health reasons
(i.e., saving lives) or economic reasons (i.e., buying a BMW)? JUSTIN ROSENBERG, M.D., NEW YORK Does cancer always have to be bad? Many people survive this disease with a clearer sense of who they are and what matters to them. Others suffer degrading and painful deaths before their time. Even this isnÕt obviously malevolent—it keeps world population in check, and weeds out the weak from the strong. You should probably release the cure. You may put yourself out of business, but youÕll likely win the Nobel prize. Your dilemma thus becomes a wash. The ethics of health and economics fall away before that most important American virtue: fame. |
©2005 by Kiersten Conner-Sax
From "50 Tries" at kiersten.connersax.com