Submission #35 to the New Yorker:

 

The Real Me

BY KIERSTEN CONNER-SAX (as Daisy Greene)

 

 

Just because you were on a reality show does not mean you released a sex tape of yourself on the Internet.

 

Don't people know how humiliated I am by Extreme SexOver: Hump Edition? Sure, I look good, and the sex is hot. We should all embrace our inner sexual beings! But someday, my children will see this. I have time to prepare, since they haven't been born yet, but it's still going to be a difficult conversation.

 

People have questioned my motives, but I say, what two consenting adults do in front of a video camera is up to them.

 

Okay, it wasn't a video camera, it was three video cameras. Just because we wanted to have multiple camera angles doesn't mean we had a camera man and a crew and a craft services table! Why does everyone think an amateur sex tape has to be poorly shot? We have iMovie. We wanted our video to be extra hot.

 

That video was purely for our enjoyment. How could we know it would disappear when we accidentally left it on a table at a reality TV show convention? It was clearly marked "Tanner Smith & Jade Wagner, Extreme SexOver: Hump Edition, very special, private, and personal!!!" so that it could be returned to us. And now—this is so hard—the video is available all over the Internet. People told me that they downloaded it for $45 from hotrealitysex.com, tannerandjadedoit.com, and extremesexoverhumpedition.com, just to name a few.

 

Now I want to clear up some of the other misconceptions about me.

 

It's true that Melissa and I are no longer friends. It had nothing to do with our show, "Jade & Melissa: BFF." Melissa, who is less pretty, less rich, and more fat than I am, knows what she did. Sometimes, friendship is more important than television, but Melissa knows this is not one of those times.

 

Now, as to my boobs: of course they're fake! I don't know why everyone keeps asking me, since I had them done on the CBS "All-Star Surgery Special." The ratings were low, but still.

 

My marriage: Tanner and I met in Las Vegas. I was at a benefit for my new charity, Puppies Without Borders. He was a gondolier at the Venetian. It couldn't have been more romantic: he serenaded me for hours as we floated past Burberry and Prada and Tiffany. I'll never forget that feeling of excitement, or the sound of the "Wheel of Fortune" slot machines.

 

Tanner and I spun the big wheel, and we came up winners! We were married a week after that special night, and we wanted our love to live forever, on videotape. I had saved myself for marriage (at least, to Tanner), so we were ready for something passionate and hot. After two hours of lighting and camera placement and body makeup, we were so excited we didn't know what we were doing! That's why I kept calling Tanner the wrong name, not because he was a soft-core porn star hired for the event.

 

Sadly, things ended with Tanner not long after that beautiful night. The pressure of my celebrity got to him. I had so many obligations—the Reality Stars Golf Outing, the Jade Experience, and all the Wal-Mart openings—and he couldn't escape the siren song of the Grand Canal. Someday, I hope our paths will cross again. I know he's applying for "The Bachelor," so maybe we can give our love another try there, on a new network.

 

And I'm not pregnant. At least I think I'm not. It's true that Tanner and I didn't use protection, but who needs condoms when you have love? I wonder if CBS might be interested in filming me finding out? I'm sure the pee-on-a-stick people would love the product placement.

 

 

 

©2005 by Kiersten Conner-Sax

From "50 Tries" at www.connersax.com