Excuses excuses...
Please note #14...it is our personal
favorite.
Sick
Notes
These are real notes written by
parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left
intact.)
1. My son is under a doctor's
care and should not take PE today. Please execute
him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being
absent she was sick and i had her
shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's
john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also
33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim
today. She is administrating.
5. Please
excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and
misplaced his hip.
6. John has been
absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday
because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing
part.
8. Megan could not come to school
today because she has been bothered by very close
veins.
9. Chris will not be in school
cus he has an acre in his side.
10.
Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from
being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note:
words in ( )'s were crossed out] .
12.
Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots
leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday
because he missed his bust.
14. Please
excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's
fault.
15. I kept billie home because
she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she
wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R
missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get
the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was
sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a
week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.
18. My daughter was absent
yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the
marines.
19. Ple ase excuse jason for
being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed
well.
20. Please excuse mary for being
absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday
as she was having a gangover.
22.
Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the
doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december
11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and
ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be
something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Posted at 09:01 PM
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Who should the US invade next
Australia apparently...its in
disguise!
LINKY It
is THESE people who voted for Bush. No wonder he is still in
office.Sorry I haven't blogged in a
while. Busy...and general lack of blogging interest to tell the truth. I
should get back to it, but...I have my professional blog and then work...so...I
dunno.Anyone still reading? Comment if
you are. Make my mind up if I should keep doing this.
Posted at 04:32 PM
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Senator Shane Ross
My alter ego
Google me and you will find a lot of links talking
about Irish Senator Shane Ross. Not a Senator who is Irish, but a Senator in
Ireland.Here is his web site.
I hope hair loss isn't linked to your
name...
Posted at 01:46 AM
|
WINDOWS VISTA!
Due out Jan 2007
Posted at 11:39 AM
|
The Claus with the gold eyes.
A Christmas Story
When my father was in first grade he was given an
assignment to draw a Christmas picture. He chose to draw a picture of Santa
Claus. He used a gold crayon on St. Nick's eyes, making them sparkle. Now, My
Dad's teacher gave him a failing grade because she said that no one had gold
eyes.
I was born with gold eyes. My
father has wanted to take me and show me to his first grade teacher even since,
and show her that gold eyes, are indeed,
possible.
My father has grown up to be a
professional artist...and I still have gold eyes.
Posted at 12:14 PM
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Admiral Adama!
Lt. Castillo, Gaff, Jaime A.
Escalante...
OK...EDWARD JAMES OLMOS.
I shook hands with Edward James
Olmos. Met him at the local Apple store where he was shopping with his
daughter. I got three words out of
him.
"Excuse me, Mr. Olmos. I
have a friend who recently worked with
you."
"Oh?"
"Yes.
Mike Mench. Air Force band leader. You did the voiceover for a
concert CD of
his."
"Ah."
"Anyway,
I am a big fan and just wanted to introduce myself.
Shane."
"Pleasure."
That
was that. Still...what a joy.
Posted at 06:34 PM
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GINGRICH SAYS FREEDOM OF SPEECH PROBABLY SHOULD BE ABOLISHED
WTF?
MANCHESTER –
Former Speaker of the House Newt
Gingrich yesterday said the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of
speech to meet the threat of terrorism.
Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards
banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists'
ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their
message.
"We need to get ahead of the curve before we
actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade," said
Gingrich, a Republican who helped engineer the GOP's takeover of Congress in
1994.
Gingrich spoke to about 400 state and local
power brokers last night at the annual Nackey S. Loeb First Amendment award
dinner, which fetes people and organizations that stand up for freedom of
speech.
Darn that pesky BILL OF RIGHTS. Messing
everything up for these guys.OK...how
will limiting freedom of speech prevent a
terrorist attack? He doesn't say. But, this,
along with the new Patriot Act and other legislation enacted recently seems bent
on giving the government more power. And many folk still think the Republican
party is looking out for them. Isn't one of the cornerstones of the
Conservative belief
LESS
government involvement in our lives? And also
LESS
government spending? The Bush Administration has spent MORE money that all other administrations
combined...and
this includes the Cold War. And we aren't up against a
superpower.What is going on with these
guys?
Posted at 02:41 PM
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What would Jesus do?
Not a concern of the Christian Coalition
apparently...
STORY
LINK
The
Reverend elected to take over as president of the Christian Coalition of America
said he will not assume the role because of differences in
philosophy.The
Rev. Joel Hunter, of Longwood's Northland, A Church Distributed, said Wednesday
that the national group would not let him expand the organization's agenda
beyond opposing abortion and gay
marriage."These
are issues that Jesus would want us to care about," Hunter
said."They
pretty much said, 'These issues are fine, but they're not our issues, that's not
our base,'" Hunter said.NOT OUR
BASE...they said. How can someone claim to be Christian, yet not adhere to the
teachings and philosophy of Jesus Christ? I am not the most religious person in
the world, but I do believe in what Jesus preached...be kind to your fellow man,
help the needy. But more and more I am seeing that that is not what is on the
mind of most of the Christian Right. They seem to be more concerned with the
political hot topics like Abortion and Gay Rights. People in my town, starving?
So what? There are two guys in San Francisco who want to get married...HOW DARE
THEY! The very visible Christian Right are more concerned with political clout
and raising money for themselves than in helping your fellow man. I see more
and more rich people who claim to be Christian, claim to believe in what Jesus
preached, yet feel that people need to "pull themselves up by their own
bootstraps." (Hmm....who said that?) Many don't have bootstraps to pull on,
and need help and compassion.Does this
country try to help the world? Or just want to dominate it? If the current
leadership is so religious and believes in God and Jesus, why don't they give
more aid to countries in terms of food? Instead of paying our farmers NOT to
grow food, grow the food and ship it to countries without. Or send people to
help that country become self sustaining. Help ALL the countries out from under
the foot of tyranny and corruption, not just the countries with
oil.I am so fed up with the Christian
Right and neoCons who claim to be Christian when they don't seem to follow what
he preaches in the slightest. Please, point to one section of the Bible where
Jesus mentions homosexuality. Come on...there has to be one,
right?
Posted at 03:45 PM
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The LIttle White Duck
by Kaia Ross
Once there was a little white duck. And she had a
little yellow nose and little yellow slippers. And she lived in a little red
egg. One day the egg bumped. It bumped and bumped and bumped. And then the egg
popped. And the little white duck stuck her head out through the top.
And…she bumped her head. So the little white duck ran to her white mama
duck. And the white mama duck told the white baby duck all kinds of stories
about a bunch of things that happen to ducks.
Posted at 05:29 PM
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FACE ON MARS MEETS HIS MATCH
Here on Earth...in Alberta, just north of
Montana
Lookee here...an Indian listening to an
iPod:
This
is TOO funny. I wonder if this is on a reservation in
Canada?
Posted at 12:37 AM
|
Rush Limbaugh is a moron
But did I really need to tell you
that?
Rush Limbaugh REALLY stepped in it this
time.Michael J. Fox appeared
in a political ad backing a candidate who was for funding stem cell research.
Mr. Fox suffers from Parkinson's Disease, that's visible symptoms are the body
being wracked with tremors. Most of the world knows he suffers from this, as he
is a spokesperson for the cause. But
Rush...the pigheaded dolt that he is... claimed that Fox was "either off his
medication or acting." Saying that he deliberately went off his medication to
appear on camera with exaggerated symptoms of his disease for dramatic effect.
"He is an actor, after
all."And Rush is a known drug
felon. What does that tell you?Even if
Fox went off the medication for effect...wouldn't you want him to? How else are
you going to show the horrible ravages of the disease? I think it is an
effective, and NOT exploitative in the least.
Posted at 11:25 PM
|
A Halloween Story
by Hallie Ross
The Bloodless
Girl
By Hallie
Ross
Once upon a time there was a
legend about a haunted school with a girl who bumped her forehead on her desk.
After Bob, Frank and Jo Jo heard this legend, they followed the directions and
the address of the school. Mr. Hopps told the legend of the haunted school to
them. They looked for the right class. Soon, they found it. It was a very
long way…because it was class
100.
Class 100 was the
last class. They carefully searched through the class. Sometimes they’d
feel hands on their shoulders. Frank was the first one. He said, “Jo Jo,
did you grab my
shoulder?”
Jo Jo
replied,
“no.”
Frank
said, “Bob, did you touch my
shoulder?”
“No,”
replied Bob.
They ran
as fast as they could out of the closet. Jo Jo fell into a loose board. Frank
said, “Are you alright Jo
Jo?”
“Yes,”
Jo Jo said. “Go on without
me.”
They went
ahead to see if it was the other class they had to go to. After a long time
they came back to Jo Jo. They helped her up, because she was a little higher.
They followed the drips of blood.
Soon they found her.
Her skin was completely white. She cried away into the closet. They followed
her. They asked what her name was. She said,
“Wabazina.”
Frank
said, “Nice
name.”
She said,
“Thank you. Everybody teased me.”
Frank said,
“You’re welcome.” Bob and Jo Jo repeated
Frank.
Soon they had
to go back home for dinner. They waved goodbye silently. And then they ran
back home. Then they never listened to a legend again.
THE
END
Posted at 04:15 PM
|
I sense a disturbance in your pants
The top 211 Star Wars lines improved by
replacing a word with "pants"
I cannot stop laughing. It is hurting me so much.
Oh my god. OK, here are the top 25, but if you are itching to laugh your
"pants" off, click HERE
for the entire list.
1 - I find
your lack of pants
disturbing.
2
- You are unwise to lower your
pants.
3
- The Force is strong in my
pants.
4
- Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than
this.
5
- I cannot teach him. The boy has no
pants.
6
- Your pants, you will not need
them.
7
- You came in those pants? You're braver than I
thought.
8
- Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's
pants.
9
- In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and
suffering
10
- I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your
pants!
11
- I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your
pants.
12
- Pull up! All pants pull
up!
13
- I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants
forever
14
- Alderan is peaceful, we have no
pants!
15
- These aren't the pants you're looking
for.
16
- A disturbance in the pants. I have not felt this since near my old
master...
17
- Looks like someone's beginning to take an interest in your
pants.
18
- The pants will be down in moments, sir, you can begin your
landing
19
- He has no time for smugglers who drop their pants first sign of
Imperials
20
- Your pants can deceive you, don't trust
them
21
- Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your
pants.
22
- That blast came from the pants! That thing's
operational!
23
- Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your
pants.
24
- Lock the door. And hope they don't have
pants.
25
-Away with your pants, I mean you no
harm!
Man...my side hurts....ow ow ow
ow...
Posted at 10:44 PM
|
DICTATORSHIP
Patriot Act 2 bypassing the
Constitution
New legislation states that non-allegiance to Bush is
equal to terrorism.
I am going to go on record by saying WHAT THE
FUCK! Pardon my harsh language, but why is no one questioning this? I would
stand up and challenge this to the full extent of my abilities...but I have a
wife and kids, and if I get thrown in prison, they lose a husband and father.
And with all the rhetoric being bandied about, my imprisonment might get shoved
under the carpet...or..if challenged, those who challenge it will be
incarcerated
themselves!
Buried amongst the untold
affronts to the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and the very spirit of America,
the torture bill contains a definition of "wrongfully aiding the enemy" which
labels all American citizens who breach their "allegiance" to President Bush and
the actions of his government as terrorists subject to possible arrest, torture
and conviction in front of a military
tribunal.After five hours
of searching through the 80-plus page
bill, Alex Jones, who
won the 2004 Project Censored award for his analysis of
Patriot
Act 2, uncovered
numerous other provisions and definitions that make the bill appear as almost a
mirror image of Hitler's 1933 Enabling Act.
In section 950j. the bill
criminalizes any challenge to the legislation's legality by the Supreme Court or
any United States court. Alberto
Gonzales has already threatened federal judges to shut
up and not question
Bush's authority on the torture of
detainees."No court,
justice, or judge shall have jurisdiction to hear or consider any claim or cause
of action whatsoever, including any action pending on or filed after the date of
the enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006, relating to the
prosecution, trial, or judgment of a military commission under this chapter,
including challenges to the lawfulness of procedures of military commissions
under this chapter."The
Bush administration is preemptively overriding any challenge to the legislation
by the Supreme Court.This is history repeating itself.
IN the autumn of 68 B.C. the
world’s only military superpower was dealt a profound psychological blow
by a daring terrorist attack on its very heart. Rome’s port at Ostia was
set on fire, the consular war fleet destroyed, and two prominent senators,
together with their bodyguards and staff, kidnapped.
The incident, dramatic though it
was, has not attracted much attention from modern historians. But history is
mutable. An event that was merely a footnote five years ago has now, in our
post-9/11 world, assumed a fresh and ominous significance. For in the panicky
aftermath of the attack, the Roman people made decisions that set them on the
path to the destruction of their Constitution, their democracy and their
liberty. One cannot help wondering if history is repeating
itself.
...
By the oldest trick in the
political book — the whipping up of a panic, in which any dissenting voice
could be dismissed as “soft” or even “traitorous”
— powers had been ceded by the people that would never be returned. Pompey
stayed in the Middle East for six years, establishing puppet regimes throughout
the region, and turning himself into the richest man in the
empire.
Panic is being used to placate us...to make
us afraid and want the big federal government to protect us. That they need to
have more power to better protect us from all the evil in this world. That to
save most of our freedoms, we must give up just a few liberties here and there.
We don't need those anyway. And we can trust the Big Government folk to not
abuse their power, right? WRONG!
What happened to CHECKS AND BALANCES? That
wonderful part of the Constitution that ensured that one branch of the
government wouldn't be able to have too much power and abuse it? Checks and
balances were created to ensure AGAINST dictatorship...against monarchy. But
now, with this new Patriot Act 2, those checks and balances have been done away
with. Cast aside.
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE? WHERE IS THE "LIBERAL
MEDIA" REPORTING ON THIS? Oh, wait...liberal media, owned by MAJOR corporations
who donated money to the Republicans and Bush....ahhhhhhh...
Posted at 03:11 PM
|
Clinton fights back
And SOUNDLY gives FOX NEWS a
drubbing
LINK!
For years and years Republicans and
Republican news commentators have painted Clinton as a weak man who did nothing
about Bin Laden. Well, on FOX news they asked him why he didn't do more about
Osama...and they got an earful. While I might not be a complete Clinton-ite (I
think he was a politicians politician)...but he certainly has more brains than
half of the current White House
Staff.Well, that might not be entirely
true. He used his brains in a good way, to solve world issues, where the
current administration is focussing on making everything Democrats do seem
bad...and trying to get power power for themselves and less freedoms for the
common citizen.
Posted at 03:08 PM
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