The LIttle White Duck
Once there was a little white duck. And she had a
little yellow nose and little yellow slippers. And she lived in a little red
egg. One day the egg bumped. It bumped and bumped and bumped. And then the egg
popped. And the little white duck stuck her head out through the top.
And…she bumped her head. So the little white duck ran to her white mama
duck. And the white mama duck told the white baby duck all kinds of stories
about a bunch of things that happen to ducks.
Posted at 05:29 PM Read More
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FACE ON MARS MEETS HIS MATCH
Lookee here...an Indian listening to an
iPod:
This
is TOO funny. I wonder if this is on a reservation in
Canada?
Posted at 12:37 AM Read More
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Rush Limbaugh is a moron
Rush Limbaugh REALLY stepped in it this
time.Michael J. Fox appeared
in a political ad backing a candidate who was for funding stem cell research.
Mr. Fox suffers from Parkinson's Disease, that's visible symptoms are the body
being wracked with tremors. Most of the world knows he suffers from this, as he
is a spokesperson for the cause. But
Rush...the pigheaded dolt that he is... claimed that Fox was "either off his
medication or acting." Saying that he deliberately went off his medication to
appear on camera with exaggerated symptoms of his disease for dramatic effect.
"He is an actor, after
all."And Rush is a known drug
felon. What does that tell you?Even if
Fox went off the medication for effect...wouldn't you want him to? How else are
you going to show the horrible ravages of the disease? I think it is an
effective, and NOT exploitative in the least.
Posted at 11:25 PM Read More
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A Halloween Story
The Bloodless
Girl
By Hallie
Ross
Once upon a time there was a
legend about a haunted school with a girl who bumped her forehead on her desk.
After Bob, Frank and Jo Jo heard this legend, they followed the directions and
the address of the school. Mr. Hopps told the legend of the haunted school to
them. They looked for the right class. Soon, they found it. It was a very
long way…because it was class
100.
Class 100 was the
last class. They carefully searched through the class. Sometimes they’d
feel hands on their shoulders. Frank was the first one. He said, “Jo Jo,
did you grab my
shoulder?”
Jo Jo
replied,
“no.”
Frank
said, “Bob, did you touch my
shoulder?”
“No,”
replied Bob.
They ran
as fast as they could out of the closet. Jo Jo fell into a loose board. Frank
said, “Are you alright Jo
Jo?”
“Yes,”
Jo Jo said. “Go on without
me.”
They went
ahead to see if it was the other class they had to go to. After a long time
they came back to Jo Jo. They helped her up, because she was a little higher.
They followed the drips of blood.
Soon they found her.
Her skin was completely white. She cried away into the closet. They followed
her. They asked what her name was. She said,
“Wabazina.”
Frank
said, “Nice
name.”
She said,
“Thank you. Everybody teased me.”
Frank said,
“You’re welcome.” Bob and Jo Jo repeated
Frank.
Soon they had
to go back home for dinner. They waved goodbye silently. And then they ran
back home. Then they never listened to a legend again.
THE
END
Posted at 04:15 PM Read More
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DICTATORSHIP
New legislation states that non-allegiance to Bush is
equal to terrorism.
I am going to go on record by saying WHAT THE
FUCK! Pardon my harsh language, but why is no one questioning this? I would
stand up and challenge this to the full extent of my abilities...but I have a
wife and kids, and if I get thrown in prison, they lose a husband and father.
And with all the rhetoric being bandied about, my imprisonment might get shoved
under the carpet...or..if challenged, those who challenge it will be
incarcerated
themselves!
Buried amongst the untold
affronts to the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and the very spirit of America,
the torture bill contains a definition of "wrongfully aiding the enemy" which
labels all American citizens who breach their "allegiance" to President Bush and
the actions of his government as terrorists subject to possible arrest, torture
and conviction in front of a military
tribunal.After five hours
of searching through the 80-plus page
bill, Alex Jones, who
won the 2004 Project Censored award for his analysis of
Patriot
Act 2, uncovered
numerous other provisions and definitions that make the bill appear as almost a
mirror image of Hitler's 1933 Enabling Act.
In section 950j. the bill
criminalizes any challenge to the legislation's legality by the Supreme Court or
any United States court. Alberto
Gonzales has already threatened federal judges to shut
up and not question
Bush's authority on the torture of
detainees."No court,
justice, or judge shall have jurisdiction to hear or consider any claim or cause
of action whatsoever, including any action pending on or filed after the date of
the enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006, relating to the
prosecution, trial, or judgment of a military commission under this chapter,
including challenges to the lawfulness of procedures of military commissions
under this chapter."The
Bush administration is preemptively overriding any challenge to the legislation
by the Supreme Court.This is history repeating itself.
IN the autumn of 68 B.C. the
world’s only military superpower was dealt a profound psychological blow
by a daring terrorist attack on its very heart. Rome’s port at Ostia was
set on fire, the consular war fleet destroyed, and two prominent senators,
together with their bodyguards and staff, kidnapped.
The incident, dramatic though it
was, has not attracted much attention from modern historians. But history is
mutable. An event that was merely a footnote five years ago has now, in our
post-9/11 world, assumed a fresh and ominous significance. For in the panicky
aftermath of the attack, the Roman people made decisions that set them on the
path to the destruction of their Constitution, their democracy and their
liberty. One cannot help wondering if history is repeating
itself.
...
By the oldest trick in the
political book — the whipping up of a panic, in which any dissenting voice
could be dismissed as “soft” or even “traitorous”
— powers had been ceded by the people that would never be returned. Pompey
stayed in the Middle East for six years, establishing puppet regimes throughout
the region, and turning himself into the richest man in the
empire.
Panic is being used to placate us...to make
us afraid and want the big federal government to protect us. That they need to
have more power to better protect us from all the evil in this world. That to
save most of our freedoms, we must give up just a few liberties here and there.
We don't need those anyway. And we can trust the Big Government folk to not
abuse their power, right? WRONG!
What happened to CHECKS AND BALANCES? That
wonderful part of the Constitution that ensured that one branch of the
government wouldn't be able to have too much power and abuse it? Checks and
balances were created to ensure AGAINST dictatorship...against monarchy. But
now, with this new Patriot Act 2, those checks and balances have been done away
with. Cast aside.
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE? WHERE IS THE "LIBERAL
MEDIA" REPORTING ON THIS? Oh, wait...liberal media, owned by MAJOR corporations
who donated money to the Republicans and Bush....ahhhhhhh...
Posted at 03:11 PM Read More
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"Would you like some more beer?"
That was part of a conversation had over lunch at
Universal Studios between my wife and me. She had a small glass, and I had the
HUGE Heineken mini-keg can. We spent the day there with my friends Brookes and
Russ and their two daughters and a couple of their friends. They came down from
Portland for a week of theme park goodness...first spending 3 days at
Disneyland. Yeah...Disneyland takes three days...possibly more depending on the
lines. Summer = huge lines.
Their
daughter Brynnen and my daughter Justice hit it off right from the start,
holding hands within an hour of meeting. Kaia and their youngest Kiegan seemed
to not really care about the other, so they just did their own thing. They all
did have fun at the Nickelodeon water park. Well, Kiegan and Kaia didn't like
the BIG water area and the 100 gallon buckets of water dumped on their heads.
They agreed on that. They preferred the much smaller little spouts near the
kiddie playground.
Fun was had by all.
But not enough beer was consumed. Darn responsibility and
all.
Posted at 10:30 PM Read More
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Back to normal
The girls are home. MAN I missed them. Kaia clung
to me the entire time at the airport and to the car...and some more at home.
Hallie and I needed to have a tickle torture session and Justice...well, we
talked and then she went to her room to read...and didn't want any sister coming
in! It wasn't long before we settled into the same old routine of separating to
our separate corners and hanging on our own computers. I had some work to do,
Sam had 900+ e-mails to sort thru (dial up only hat her family's house) and the
girls were playing web games they haven't played in a while. Kaia played with
stuffies.
Nice to have them back, arguing
and shouting and bouncing on the furniture. Muggles seems happier too. Kaia
snuggled and petted him for a bit.
I
didn't realize how much I DIDN'T DO without them around.
Posted at 01:50 AM Read More
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Very Lonely
Boy, I am missing my girls something FIERCE. This
house is too quiet. And there is no one here to tear me away from my computer.
And no one to read stories to. No one to TALK to or tickle. Lift upside down
and blubber their bellies.
I was busy
enough at first to be distracted, but today I called to chat and heard Kaia
saying in the background "I miss Daddy! I wanna see Daddy!" This after Sam
told me that after driving around Kaia said that she wanted to go to our new
house because "Daddy's there and Daddy misses
me."
Boy howdy. They come back
Wednesday, so not too long. But I want them here now. I need to
snuggle.
sigh.
Posted at 08:56 PM Read More
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Sleeping with the TV on
Last night I fell asleep watching THE A-TEAM...and
woke up to THE VIEW.
There is something
wrong about that. One moment BA Baracus and Face are shooting 100 rounds at the
badguys, not hitting
one of them.
The next thing I know these...gaggle of
women were
discussing how to spot your man lyin'.
I'll take the poor marksmanship of
Hannibal any day.
They aren't even on the
same station...so how the heck did THAT happen.
Posted at 08:33 PM Read More
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Outdated expressions
"You sound like a broken record" means that you are
basically repeating yourself. But kids today won't get that, as they haven't a
clue what a record is. I recall walking into a record store in the early
1990s...when CDs were
just
coming out...and asking the clerk if they carried
"vinyl."
"Vinyl? What's
that?"
Sigh.
Justice thought that I meant WORLD
RECORD...and she was pretty confused. So, would we have to update it to say
"You sound like a corrupt MP3 file?"
What
other expressions are losing their meaning. Like the sayings of yesteryear:
"Boy are my dogs tired." Is this because you took them for a long walk? No,
this means your feet hurt.
Are there
any saying you still use that if you said to someone under the age of 18 they'd
look at you with their head cocked to one
side?
"Heh heh...dude, you said
'cocked.'"
Whatever.
Posted at 03:00 AM Read More
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Bachelorhood again
My wife and girls left yesterday for Maryland to
visit Nana and Papa and the rest of her family. Me? I was left behind. Not in
the REVELATIONS sort of way that Kirk Cameron
experienced, but...well...this house feels pretty darn empty.
So...what will I do with my new found
bachelorhood? Will I sit around the house all day in my boxers watching movies?
Will I sleep in all day and eat cold pizza for breakfast? Will I go out
drinking and partying with buds? No.
I will be working. Day and night
working. And with my producer here at the house working. 10-12 hour days to
get the cut just right. I mean, I spent 3 months getting the first 14 minutes
just right (too long a story to go into, and I don't want to get myself into
trouble like posting on the internet is oft to do) so now I have 1 month to not
only get the remaining 75 minutes right, but format the show, do all the
graphics and output...a whole bunch of technical stuff. So in a way it is a
good thing that my wife and kids won't be
here.Not that I won't be having
some fun.
I do intend on seeing a BUTTLOAD (ok...four or five) movies. See them while I
can. Now...speaking of work...I'd
better get back to it. After a quick session with an expert that taught me how
to use mapping software I took a nap.
Posted at 12:18 AM Read More
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South Park Character Generator
You
can go there and design yourself by clicking here.
MAN...I wish there was a way you could post back the images for me and everyone
else to see.OK...another
me:
And
finally...GREEN DAY by my
kids:
Posted at 10:47 PM Read More
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Wedding Pics
Posted at 11:07 PM Read More
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MARRIED BY ELVIS
Whoever said that Vegas isn't for kids really
hasn't look hard enough, and only thinks that all Vegas has to offer is
gambling, clubbing and strippers. And while it has all that in spades, it does
offer a lot of family friendly things to do.
We have been planning this for a while.
Initially didn't think we could afford it, but then I got a couple consulting
jobs and suddenly we could. So Sam scoured the internet for wedding chapels (I
scouted a few, but none were Elvis themed) and then called a few. She happened
across the Graceland Wedding Chapel...complete with Elvis giving us not only our
vows, but the "world famous" Elvis vows...whatever those were. She called, made
the reservation and put down a deposit.
But then none of our friends could make it. Well, none from here. I have a
childhood friend living in Vegas, and Sam has an uncle...one that we hadn't seen
since we were first married. No one else could really afford it. Then I
happened to call my buddy TJ with a technical question (his wife is my wife's
best friend out here, and his daughter is Hallie's best friend) and just
happened to mention that I hope that we got a sitter. He asked what hotel I was
at, we chatted about gambling (he is a BIG poker player), then I hung up to fix
my technical issue. Next thing I knew, his wife called and asked what room we
were in so that they could get adjoining rooms. He got off work early and they
headed out....around 4PM. Me...not so lucky. I couldn't get out of work until
6:00PM, and we left at 7:00PM, then had to get dinner and hit the road.
Boy oh boy did we hit TRAFFIC. We
traveled 11.7 miles in 1.5 hours. YIKES! But by the time we got off the I-5
and hit the smaller freeway, we were free and clear. A little traffic jam on
the I-15 due to an accident, but then clear. Still, we got in VERY late. 2:00
AM. Checked into the room my 3:00AM, and kids asleep by 4:00AM (they slept a
lot on the way there). I called our friends when we were on the back road at
about 10PM, and they were kicking it and relaxing in their room. Dang it! Next
time, we leave EARLY! We didnt' get up until 10AM on
Saturday.Our friends already ate and
were in the pool. So we ate and went to the pool and hung out for a few hours,
taking it easy. Wedding was at 5:00, so we just walked around looking at the
shops (after the pool). At 3:30 the women-folk went up to change and we hung
with the kids in an arcade...so that they can play some video games. They got
REALLY jealous after seeing the casino..and especially the Star Wars penny
slots. We played a few games then headed up. I called to confirm with the
sitter...the cousing of my friend who lives out there. A nice young man who
works at the pool at the Mirage. We got to the room, changed, got all gussied
up and headed off to the Chapel. After finding out that I would have gotten us
lost (I called the chapel and found that I would have gone the wrong direction)
we headed out.We got to the Chapel
REALLY early. 4:30 PM. Took us no time at all to get there...pretty much next
to the hotel. We met Shonna (my friend) and her two kids, Sam's uncle Jack and
his family...and our friends. After a short wait, we were renewing our
vows...ELVIS style. CLICK HERE to watch the full video goodness.
Then we went back to the hotel, ordered
pizza for the kids, got them set up and went out for dinner. Hung out at the
Venetian (wonderful indoor shopping and dining area with gondolas...that has a
ceiling that looks like the sky) had dinner, then headed back to the
Stratosphere for gambling. Played a poker variant called LET IT RIDE where TJ,
Lauren (his wife) and Sam all hit Flushes...all winning $130. I came out OK,
only down $5. Later in the evening I lost $40 on the Star Wars penny slots (man
that was a fun game, Sam and I had a blast)...but I made it all back on
Craps...plus an extra $65. Then we went to
bed.And thank goodness, for Sunday was a
LONG FUN DAY.Just a quick rundown of
what we did:-Woke up at 9:30AM and went
to breakfast.-Went to the top of the
Stratoshere tower and looked at the entire city. And at the faces of the people
on the rides ABOVE us!-Headed down the strip
to Circus Circus. Watched a circus act, then played two games (Justice found
out the hard way that games are rigged)...and prizes were had by all. Then a
clown and trapeze act and we headed for
lunch.-Down the strip again to the Mirage to
see a tiger. The cat paced and swam...pretty neat. Then the kids stopped and
gawked at the giant fish tank behind the hotel registration
desk.-Off to the MGM Grand to see the Lion
Sanctuary. There were three lion cubs (16 months old and HUGE) who were hanging
out and playing. There was a plexi-glass tunnel under them and I lifted the
girls up so they could touch the lions paws. Then the beasts were fed in front
of us...something that looked like hamburger. it was thrown against the
plexiglass and the lions came right up and licked it off...INCHES from the kids
who were all loving it. Justice got a great picture. We left, but not without
getting a few souvenirs, including a rubber chicken for
Hallie.-Stopped at the Bellagio and walked
thru the indoor garden and train track. BEAUTIFUL...and fun. Kaia loved the
trains. Now it was getting dark so we walked outside and saw two water fountain
shows. Our friends then had to leave to get back home. We didn't yet. Few
more things...actually ONE more. -After a
dinner which couldn't be beat we rushed off to see the Pirate Show at Treasure
Island. I thought I was late in getting them there at 11:05 PM, but they were
actually early (it started at 11:30PM). Kaia was asleep so we drove
around...then got a call that the show was cancelled.
Bummer.So then we stopped back at the
Stratosphere for more souvenirs and we headed out home...at 12:30AM. After a
brief 10 min pitstop an hour out of town (sleep) we drove more and got in at
4:45 AM.Whew. Pictures to come. I
thought the video would hold you for a while. Heee!
Posted at 08:23 PM Read More
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Viva Las Vegas
Yesterday was our 10th Anniversary. Sam and I have
been married for TEN YEARS! And we have known each other for 12. This is mind
boggling to me. We have been together as long as it takes a kid to go from
first grade to their high school graduation.
CRIMINEY!
Anyway...we are off to Las
Vegas...like, right now...to renew our vows. In front of Elvis no less. "Thank
you, thank you very much!" And we are bringing the kids and will hit all the
fun KID things like the Pirates show at Treasure Island, Shark Reef at Mandalay
Bay, Tigers at the Mirage...anything to stay out of the heat. And we will do
some adult things later like gamble, dance and drink. Yes, we have a
sitter.
Oh...Gotta go. Pictures will
come.
EDIT: We are back but recovering.
Full story to follow. We had a WILD time. And yes, with the kids in tow. I
did more in Vegas on Sunday than I did in 5 days the last time I was
there.
Posted at 12:12 PM Read More
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