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Published On: Feb 13, 2005 11:16 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Feb 13, 2005 11:16 PM
A Dick in Sumner County
When I was 9 years old, my
life-goal was to own a General Lee. Nothing's changed.
Just before last Christmas I was cited with my
first speeding ticket in 16 years. Recently I attended traffic court in
response to receiving the ticket. The manner in which I was caught, and the
resulting court appearance reminded me of my favorite TV show of all time, The
Dukes of Hazzard.
The judge at traffic court looked to be the bastard son of J.D. Hogg and Uncle Jessie. He was fat, bald, had a long beard, and surprisingly gave off not a Santa Claus type vibe, but more of a pedophile type vibe. Anyway, Judge "Fat Bastard" proceeded to give us a 10 minute lecture on hats, cell phones, and beverages. All of which I had at least one of on me at the time. Luckily I was in the back row, so I simply slipped my cappuccino under the seat of the woman next to me, turned off both of my cell phones, and quietly removed my hat. Traffic court resulted in an appearance at traffic safety school next month for me. Perhaps Judge Bastard can teach me how to drive like Bo and Luke.
All of this fixation on the Dukes of Hazzard lead to the natural conclusion of purchasing both seasons 1 and 2 of the series on DVD. I've been watching several episodes the past few days. I'd forgotten just how much I loved that show. My son, George has been getting into it too. He likes to scream, "Yeeeee-haaaaa!" anytime he detects any increase in speed while riding in the car, or even the shopping cart at the grocery store. To think that there's still five more seasons to be released, not to mention the season with Coy and Vance, I can't wait.
Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow, I can spill the beans that I've gotten my wife a 1/18 replica of the General Lee. She loved the show as much as I did. I'm probably toeing-the-line with a not-so romantic gift, but like hell I'm walking into a Victoria's Secret in a mall in the middle of Tennessee. Of course, then again, they are probably the only store to have a Budweiser nighty with a bottle opener in the crotch. In my size.
The judge at traffic court looked to be the bastard son of J.D. Hogg and Uncle Jessie. He was fat, bald, had a long beard, and surprisingly gave off not a Santa Claus type vibe, but more of a pedophile type vibe. Anyway, Judge "Fat Bastard" proceeded to give us a 10 minute lecture on hats, cell phones, and beverages. All of which I had at least one of on me at the time. Luckily I was in the back row, so I simply slipped my cappuccino under the seat of the woman next to me, turned off both of my cell phones, and quietly removed my hat. Traffic court resulted in an appearance at traffic safety school next month for me. Perhaps Judge Bastard can teach me how to drive like Bo and Luke.
All of this fixation on the Dukes of Hazzard lead to the natural conclusion of purchasing both seasons 1 and 2 of the series on DVD. I've been watching several episodes the past few days. I'd forgotten just how much I loved that show. My son, George has been getting into it too. He likes to scream, "Yeeeee-haaaaa!" anytime he detects any increase in speed while riding in the car, or even the shopping cart at the grocery store. To think that there's still five more seasons to be released, not to mention the season with Coy and Vance, I can't wait.
Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow, I can spill the beans that I've gotten my wife a 1/18 replica of the General Lee. She loved the show as much as I did. I'm probably toeing-the-line with a not-so romantic gift, but like hell I'm walking into a Victoria's Secret in a mall in the middle of Tennessee. Of course, then again, they are probably the only store to have a Budweiser nighty with a bottle opener in the crotch. In my size.
Posted: Sun - February 13, 2005 at 11:14 PM