Zeno's Paradox
February 26, 2004 - The Outburst

I keep thinking about my online outburst earlier today. The thing that strikes me most is that in real life, this situation and conversation could have easily happened between my father and myself. (And it did many many times.) The thing that puzzles me is why while I hated getting the double barrels (as JG has called my online written outbursts) as a kid, I'm now giving them when something pushes me far enough. Am I simply being a mimic, as that was the way I learned my hard lessons? Or is it that his methods actually worked for these types of situation? Are there any diplomatic alternatives when you're trying to get through to someone and it seems that no matter how solid your reasoning is and how good your intentions are, there's that wall erected where nothing gets through? Anyways, I'm musing as I should be coding, so I guess I should heed some of my own advice and get back to work myself.

Posted by br284 at 12:49 PM

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Wow. Your analysis suggests you're a natural therapist.

Idea:

If your dad always reacted to moping, depression, and apparent stagnation with double barrels, then you probably never got the chance to sit around and just watch the beasties. You're probably used to dealing with them that one way, and it may make you uncomfortable to see anyone "indulging" them.

People can be told the truth a zillion times over, but they won't learn it until they're ready. That's the wall. Don't take it personally. Not everyone may place the same focus you do on mood modulation. Their reactions may not be rational, but many people aren't, and they end up doing okay too.

Take a step back and don't try to fix things that aren't really broken. It may not be what you'd do in the same situation, but that doesn't make it wrong.

All that said, stand up for yourself if you're feeling taken advantage of.

I'm sure not a social worker, so toss out what doesn't work.

I think the best way usually to help someone is to support them. People tend to know where they ought to go. They just get stuck on the way there. Especially when people are realizing difficult truths, they need to know they're still okay.

Posted by Sarah on February 26, 2004 09:19 PM
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