Sunday, September 12, 2004 (Shoeburyness, England)
Work is finally over and it's amazing how fast it
is fading from memory. Trying to come to terms with the last night in this
house. Taking care of Mum & Dad before we leave. Cleaning out the room and
finding surprises. How to live for a year on just a few kilos. Thinking about
the family.
Day T-2. Much has happened in the past few
days. Work is finally over and is fast fading into memory. My leaving do was a
lot of fun and the people I most wanted to be there were. I left having enjoyed
my time there and will remember my colleagues fondly for quite some time to
come. The new guy is trained and I sense that I have left my work in very
capable hands. I will no doubt be in contact with some of them again in the
future.
That future seems
unimaginably far away at the moment, however. Tonight is the last night we will
spend in this house, as tomorrow evening we will be taken to some guest house
near Heathrow airport where we will spend what will doubtless be a restless
night ahead of our morning flight on Tuesday. I keep telling myself that that
will be when the fun begins but I still can’t shake off that feeling of
apprehension that has been presiding over me for the past week or so. I’m
sure the first few days and weeks will be difficult as we struggle to find our
routine but we will eventually start to relax and enjoy ourselves. It’s
hard to describe why this would be any different to just another two or
three-week holiday. In a way it’s not really a holiday at all, but
moreover a temporary change in lifestyle. I hope we enjoy our new
lives.
In the meantime, we’ve
been tying up all the loose threads before our departure. Today I went shopping
with Dad to make sure their food larder was fully stocked for some time to come.
When I was a boy, Mum & dad would do Nanny & Granddad’s weekly
shopping for them. Richard and I would go with them every week to visit and to
drop off the shopping. Although I still to this day get a lot of resistance from
Dad when I try to buy shopping for them, I see this as no different to what they
did for Nanny & Granddad all those years ago. With their financial situation
being what it is, it will bring a great deal of peace of mind to myself whilst
we are travelling to know that they are somewhat relieved from the financial
burden of simply making ends meet. This has become somewhat of a periodic ritual
with Sandy and me in recent years. Supporting Mum & Dad is something that
all my brothers and sisters do and have done in varying ways. Saying goodbye to
them this afternoon was difficult for the both of us. It’s something that
I find hard to dwell as I sit here
typing.
Jacqueline, as it turns out,
has offered to drive us to the airport tomorrow. I must admit to being a little
surprised to receive this offer, very welcome though it was. When asked why she
was being so thoughtful and nice, she replied, “I want to make sure you
go.”
We spent much of the day
today cleaning out our bedroom so that it will be habitable for whomever John
and Lisa might have to stay here in our absence. After some hours, we finally
found something not seen for many months – the carpet. After having stayed
here for so long now, it is easy to loose sight of the fact that we are simply
guests in this house and that there is no permanency. Both John & Lisa have
expressed their wishes for us to stay here again after we get back from this
trip. Perhaps they should be careful what they wish
for.
Our backpacks are now completely
packed and are sitting at the foot of the bed waiting for us. Most of yesterday
was occupied with the arduous task of going through everything and deciding upon
exactly what we will be taking and what we will be leaving behind. It was not an
easy task. Sandy in particular seems to be taking an entire wardrobe of clothing
with her. You know, there are some creatures in the animal kingdom (some species
of spider, for example) where the female eats the male if he strays too close or
makes a wrong move. I felt very much like one of these creatures yesterday as I
tentatively tried to persuade her to lighten her load a bit. I managed to live
to tell the tale but I think she is still hungry. Most of my backpack is taken
up with all the gear, equipment, medical kits and so on. I think there is a
small corner in one of the compartments that has some clothes in it somewhere.
We’ve weighed everything that we will be taking and I’m quite
chuffed to have been able maintain a combined total weight of everything
(including the backpack and day-packs themselves) that I will be taking for the
entire trip to just 20Kg. Sandy’s total compliment worked out to be around
15Kg. Guess which one of us is the mule! That’s a total of just 35Kg for
almost a year on the road for two people. Not
bad.
I spoke with Paul David this
evening on the phone. His divorce will be finalised and settled within a few
days. He’s been going through a particularly tough time of late. Whenever
one of my close family members is having a hard time with life’s ups and
downs, I feel a particular sense of discomfort and turmoil myself. A feeling of
helplessness mostly I think. I felt this way before when Charlie died and I saw
Annie going through her own emotional hell. It hit me hard too to see Mum &
Dad going through their own problems in recent years – particularly since
I’ve lived so far from home. The one thing about Paul in particular,
though, is that no matter how hard things might be for him personally, how much
life might be getting him down, I always come away from a conversation with him
feeling better about myself. It’s not just his upbeat attitude that does
it. It’s his unique way of looking at things and that way he has of making
me feel that everything is all right regardless of what the situation is. It
isn’t something that is easy to describe but it’s a defining aspect
of his character that I’ve always looked up to and strived for myself. For
all the day-to-day annoyances and bickering that erupts within all families from
time to time (and ours is no different), I can think of some defining aspect to
each and every one of my direct family members that I admire and respect.
Perhaps if I can adopt a little bit of personality from each of them, then I
know I can’t be a bad person. Either that or I’ll turn out to be a
complete bastard, one or the
other.
Well, it’s well past
midnight and I really should turn in (or put the laptop down at least). Just one
more night to go.
Posted: Sun - September 12, 2004 at 11:52 PM