Sun - April 8, 2007

Donuts filled with gelatinous goop instead of jelly: Evil or just bad taste?



Discuss.

Posted at 11:46 PM    

Sat - March 5, 2005

FedEx is like freakin’ elves


I swear they’re like elves that come in the night to make shoes or something; they come and go without you seeing them.

FedEx is like a bunch of little elves or sumthin’. I checked on a package I’m expecting and the tracking site said it had been loaded onto the delivery vehicle at 8:00 AM yesterday. At first, I figure I’m not reading it right. It must be due tomorrow, because I didn’t see FedEx show up today. So, I decide just now to go check the front door, and sure enough there’s a little “we missed you” sticker on the door.

I left the house a few minutes after the time on the notice. I’ll be generous and assume it’s due to clock inaccuracies (mine, theirs, or both o’arn), but I swear they’re like elves that come in the night to make shoes or something; they come and go without you seeing them.

“We missed you.” Well, FedEx, I missed you, too.

Posted at 01:00 AM    

Tue - November 9, 2004

How to Spot Nerds From Quite a Long Way Away


In which our hero has a revealing moment of self-observation involving a container of pudding.

I was preparing to eat some chocolate pudding when I started thinking about how, once opened, it always develops pools of liquid (water, presumably) on top when left in the fridge, which I find a little gross, and I always scoop that top part off when I continue eating it later. I wondered why there was no liquid to start with.

Today, as I was opening this fresh container of pudding, I realized that it has a plastic seal that touches the surface of the pudding, so I guess it keeps the water at bay. Once removed, the water has room to move to the surface, or perhaps it’s the exposure to air that draws the water out.

Then I started thinking, “I guess pudding is a suspension, where the liquid and the solids aren't entirely ‘fused’ and the water can seep to the surface,” which then led me to ask (silently, to myself), “is pudding a liquid, a solid, a suspension, or what?”

Finally, I went “meta” and realized that was how I could tell I was a geek: I was wondering about what kind of state of matter chocolate pudding is†.

And, of course, writing “I went ‘meta’” is probably a dead giveaway, too.

†Bad grammar, no biscuit! (But I like the way it flows, or, rather, the way it completely fails to do so.)

Posted at 04:38 PM    

Sun - October 12, 2003

Free Clip Art



If you’re wondering where I got the boss artwork for my blog categories, I got them from #1 Free Clip Art.

Posted at 10:51 AM    

I’m not cheerful enough



I was looking at other people’s blogs and I decided I’m not cheerful and funny enough. Well, what did you expect? This is a weblog of doom, after all.

Posted at 10:49 AM    

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