WHITLESS WONDERS
or, how lots of penguins fans are idiots
too.
On Thursday, I went to pains far greater than
necessary to point out that, besides being possessed with
a couple of skilled players and a whole lot of knuckle-draggers, the
Philadelphia Flyers are also possessed of a loyal but often idiotic fan base.
It is one thing, after all, to think your team has a chance to win in this
series, quite another to pretend that Sami Kapanen could play alongside Evgeni
Malkin without suffering irreparable nerve damage. Today, in the interests of
fairness, and because I'm sick and tired of hearing these morons yapping at
Mellon Arena and on sports talk shows, I'll face a few simple pains and point
out, as I've pointed out plenty of times before, that Penguin Nation has its own great
Confederacy of Dunces, and that many of them reside in the sorry states of
ignorance and denial about one Penguin in
particular.
If you want the surest test of how much a fan or a bandwagon-jumper or any other semi-sentient being in Western Pennsylvania knows about hockey in general or the Penguins in particular, ask them what they think of Ryan Whitney. If he tells you that Whitney is a future Norris Trophy candidate, and/or that he had a season characterized by both frustrating lapses of focus and astonishing flashes of brilliance, and/or that he's having a strong playoff run after what he would be the first to describe as a subpar year, then you know you're talking to someone who understands the team and the game and has enough knowledge of both to speak thoughtfully and intelligently and those and many other subjects. But if he tells you that Whitney sucks, and/or that he should be benched, and/or that he's the source not only of the all Penguins' problems but also global warming, the rising cost of oil, and the presence of Al Qaeda in the world, then you'll know that you're sitting in Section C12. Or D26. Or most other sections of a Mellon Arena these days filled to capacity with people who can not tell a bad pinch from a brilliant breakout pass, stupid headhunting from sound positional defense, or Luke Ravenstahl from someone actually qualified to be mayor.
If you encounter people like this, you should, for the sake of your own patience and sanity, simply smile and back away. Shield your children if you have any. And hope the next person you meet will have not just opposable thumbs but also sense and reason and an actual understanding of the sport and the team for which they claim to root. (In other words, hope you find a real Penguins' fan and not just a lazy, loudmouthed Steelers' fan with nothing better to do until July. But I digress...)
A few simple stats, and a few simple moments from Friday night's game, are all I need to prove my point. (Though, to anyone with a real knowledge of the game who's actually been paying attention, the point has already proven itself. But I digress again...)
Right now, ten games into their Stanley Cup Playoff run, two players are tied for the Penguins' lead in +/- rating: Evgeni Malkin and Ryan Whitney. In other words: the two Penguins players who've produced the team's two highest scoring differentials, are the guy everyone (I included) is touting as the best player in the postseason so far, and the guy all the dull-eyed, empty-faced, half-witted morons in the stands and on the phones either want to bench or run out of town on a rail. Which means, of course, that Whitney's +/- rating is higher than any other defenseman -- including recent fan favorite Brooks Orpik, who's been laying out some great hits -- those shots on R.J. Umberger and Scott Hartnell on Friday were top-drawer highlight reel checks -- but whose postseason +/- rating is just Even.
Right now, ten games into their Stanley Cup playoff run, Whitney is second among defenseman in scoring. He has five points (all assists) to Sergei Gonchar's six (one goal, five assists). This despite playing about six-and-a-half fewer minutes per game than Gonchar, and despite being removed from the top power play unit, on which Gonchar still plays, in favor of a fourth insanely skilled forward. Whitney is also second among Penguins' defensemen in Shots on Goal (behind Gonchar) and third in Average Ice Time (only 4 seconds fewer per game than Orpik).
So you can see, of course, why the Neanderthal set wants to see him benched.
Friday night's game, in which Whitney was a +2, had an amazing first assist (more on that later) on Evgeni Malkin's game-winning goal, and logged more ice time (21:48) than any Penguin not named Sergei Gonchar (22:44), is the best example yet of how well Whitney has played and how little the beer-and-more-beer morons have noticed. To Whit:
Yes, Whitney took a careless Delay of Game penalty early in the first period, when he attempted a clear off the glass and flipped the puck into the crowd instead; he seemed a bit too cautious, and he should have chipped the puck off the boards or the glass earlier to get it out. But he missed by inches at worst, and that's the kind of penalty that every defenseman takes throughout the course of the season. And, yes, he took a tripping penalty in the third, but that one was a joke: a clear, oh-I've-been-shot flop of a dive by Scottie Upshall that sold a penalty Whitney hadn't actually committed. And, sure, there were one or two times when he tried to clear the puck but didn't quite get it out of the zone, but if we benched everyone who did that during a game, there'd be no one left to play but the crazies in the stands. Most of whom, I imagine, couldn't clear the puck if you gave 'em a shovel and a pickup truck with which to do it.
Now.
Let's talk about how Malkin's first goal -- the one that came with 6.5 seconds left in the period, that proved to be the game winner, and that everyone's talking about as the turning point of Game 1 -- never would have happened if not for the amazing, tape-to-tape, blue-line-to-blue-line, threaded-through-three-Philly-skaters, diagonal breakout pass that put Malkin into the zone with under ten seconds left. If Whitney's not skating head-up ready to make a play, if he doesn't spot both Malkin and the crease through which to pass to him, and if he doesn't sizzle that puck all the way through the neutral zone right to Malkin's blade, Malkin doesn't break in to the zone untouched, and he doesn't have a clear lane to wrist a shot past Biron. That was a beautiful shot. And it was only possible thank to a beautiful Whitney pass -- the kind that, with all apologies to the fantastic abilities of Sergei Gonchar and Kris Letang, no one on the Penguins' roster can make any better.
We could also talk about the other half-dozen or so beautiful breakout passes -- including the one in the first period, when Malkin's line ripped and roared and cycled for what seemed like a week-and-a-half in the offensive zone -- that sprung an offensive rush or sparked some sustained pressure. Or we could talk about the number of times Friday, just as he has all postseason and all season, that Whitney got the puck to a forward in stride in the neutral zone and allowed him to take off and back off the Flyers in the neutral zone. Or we could talk about the great positional defense he played many times throughout the game, keeping Flyers to the outside of the offensive zone and not allowing them to get a shot off.
In fact, let's talk about one of those situations -- one that true fans of the team and the game recognized, but that all the drooling yahoos completely missed.
In the third period, Mike Knuble got a breakout pass and was headed down the right wing. He had only Whitney to beat. As usual, the Cro-Magnons in the crowd called for Whitney to step up! and hit him! Much to their consternation and my joy, Whitney did not. If he had, and missed, Knuble would have had a breakaway, or a two-on-one at best. But the way Whitney played him, Knuble dumped and chased. Because he had a head of steam and was already moving forward, Knuble closed ground on Whitney. Because Whitney had to turn and get to speed, Knuble beat him to the puck. What does Whitney do? Exactly what he needs to do -- assuming, of course, that he's playing good D and sticking to the system and not trying to please the unibrow set in the crowd: he angles Knuble away from the net, keeps him outside, and forces him up the boards, then ties him up against the glass until help arrives to support and retrieve the puck. He kept Knuble -- a big, strong guy with a heavy shot who likes to drive the net -- on the outside, never let him get even a whiff of a scoring chance, and handled that one-on-one situation about as well as you possibly can.
In the midst of that sequence, about the time Whitney had driven Knuble back to the boards, a couple of idiots behind me actually yelled out that Whitney was blowing another play, and that he never should have let Knuble get the puck, and that he should have smashed him into the boards (which would have almost surely drawn a penalty, since Knuble had his back to Whitney the whole time). They were not satisfied with outstanding defense -- no doubt because they wouldn't recognize it even if it bit them on their ignorant asses -- and instead wanted either a big hit, a magic trick, or a repudiation of the laws of physics.
It would take all three, apparently, for the talk-radio dipstick set to be satisfied with Ryan Whitney's play in this postseason. Those of us with IQs -- both regular and hockey -- in the triple digits are plenty satisfied with his performance. Because we know what we see. And because we actually understand it when we see it.
(Oh -- and one more thing:)
(Let's Go, Pens.)
UPDATE, 10:58pm: After tonight's game, Whitney sits alone atop the team's +/- rating at +7. (Hossa, Scuderi, Malkin, and Malone are tied for second at +5.)
If you want the surest test of how much a fan or a bandwagon-jumper or any other semi-sentient being in Western Pennsylvania knows about hockey in general or the Penguins in particular, ask them what they think of Ryan Whitney. If he tells you that Whitney is a future Norris Trophy candidate, and/or that he had a season characterized by both frustrating lapses of focus and astonishing flashes of brilliance, and/or that he's having a strong playoff run after what he would be the first to describe as a subpar year, then you know you're talking to someone who understands the team and the game and has enough knowledge of both to speak thoughtfully and intelligently and those and many other subjects. But if he tells you that Whitney sucks, and/or that he should be benched, and/or that he's the source not only of the all Penguins' problems but also global warming, the rising cost of oil, and the presence of Al Qaeda in the world, then you'll know that you're sitting in Section C12. Or D26. Or most other sections of a Mellon Arena these days filled to capacity with people who can not tell a bad pinch from a brilliant breakout pass, stupid headhunting from sound positional defense, or Luke Ravenstahl from someone actually qualified to be mayor.
If you encounter people like this, you should, for the sake of your own patience and sanity, simply smile and back away. Shield your children if you have any. And hope the next person you meet will have not just opposable thumbs but also sense and reason and an actual understanding of the sport and the team for which they claim to root. (In other words, hope you find a real Penguins' fan and not just a lazy, loudmouthed Steelers' fan with nothing better to do until July. But I digress...)
A few simple stats, and a few simple moments from Friday night's game, are all I need to prove my point. (Though, to anyone with a real knowledge of the game who's actually been paying attention, the point has already proven itself. But I digress again...)
Right now, ten games into their Stanley Cup Playoff run, two players are tied for the Penguins' lead in +/- rating: Evgeni Malkin and Ryan Whitney. In other words: the two Penguins players who've produced the team's two highest scoring differentials, are the guy everyone (I included) is touting as the best player in the postseason so far, and the guy all the dull-eyed, empty-faced, half-witted morons in the stands and on the phones either want to bench or run out of town on a rail. Which means, of course, that Whitney's +/- rating is higher than any other defenseman -- including recent fan favorite Brooks Orpik, who's been laying out some great hits -- those shots on R.J. Umberger and Scott Hartnell on Friday were top-drawer highlight reel checks -- but whose postseason +/- rating is just Even.
Right now, ten games into their Stanley Cup playoff run, Whitney is second among defenseman in scoring. He has five points (all assists) to Sergei Gonchar's six (one goal, five assists). This despite playing about six-and-a-half fewer minutes per game than Gonchar, and despite being removed from the top power play unit, on which Gonchar still plays, in favor of a fourth insanely skilled forward. Whitney is also second among Penguins' defensemen in Shots on Goal (behind Gonchar) and third in Average Ice Time (only 4 seconds fewer per game than Orpik).
So you can see, of course, why the Neanderthal set wants to see him benched.
Friday night's game, in which Whitney was a +2, had an amazing first assist (more on that later) on Evgeni Malkin's game-winning goal, and logged more ice time (21:48) than any Penguin not named Sergei Gonchar (22:44), is the best example yet of how well Whitney has played and how little the beer-and-more-beer morons have noticed. To Whit:
Yes, Whitney took a careless Delay of Game penalty early in the first period, when he attempted a clear off the glass and flipped the puck into the crowd instead; he seemed a bit too cautious, and he should have chipped the puck off the boards or the glass earlier to get it out. But he missed by inches at worst, and that's the kind of penalty that every defenseman takes throughout the course of the season. And, yes, he took a tripping penalty in the third, but that one was a joke: a clear, oh-I've-been-shot flop of a dive by Scottie Upshall that sold a penalty Whitney hadn't actually committed. And, sure, there were one or two times when he tried to clear the puck but didn't quite get it out of the zone, but if we benched everyone who did that during a game, there'd be no one left to play but the crazies in the stands. Most of whom, I imagine, couldn't clear the puck if you gave 'em a shovel and a pickup truck with which to do it.
Now.
Let's talk about how Malkin's first goal -- the one that came with 6.5 seconds left in the period, that proved to be the game winner, and that everyone's talking about as the turning point of Game 1 -- never would have happened if not for the amazing, tape-to-tape, blue-line-to-blue-line, threaded-through-three-Philly-skaters, diagonal breakout pass that put Malkin into the zone with under ten seconds left. If Whitney's not skating head-up ready to make a play, if he doesn't spot both Malkin and the crease through which to pass to him, and if he doesn't sizzle that puck all the way through the neutral zone right to Malkin's blade, Malkin doesn't break in to the zone untouched, and he doesn't have a clear lane to wrist a shot past Biron. That was a beautiful shot. And it was only possible thank to a beautiful Whitney pass -- the kind that, with all apologies to the fantastic abilities of Sergei Gonchar and Kris Letang, no one on the Penguins' roster can make any better.
We could also talk about the other half-dozen or so beautiful breakout passes -- including the one in the first period, when Malkin's line ripped and roared and cycled for what seemed like a week-and-a-half in the offensive zone -- that sprung an offensive rush or sparked some sustained pressure. Or we could talk about the number of times Friday, just as he has all postseason and all season, that Whitney got the puck to a forward in stride in the neutral zone and allowed him to take off and back off the Flyers in the neutral zone. Or we could talk about the great positional defense he played many times throughout the game, keeping Flyers to the outside of the offensive zone and not allowing them to get a shot off.
In fact, let's talk about one of those situations -- one that true fans of the team and the game recognized, but that all the drooling yahoos completely missed.
In the third period, Mike Knuble got a breakout pass and was headed down the right wing. He had only Whitney to beat. As usual, the Cro-Magnons in the crowd called for Whitney to step up! and hit him! Much to their consternation and my joy, Whitney did not. If he had, and missed, Knuble would have had a breakaway, or a two-on-one at best. But the way Whitney played him, Knuble dumped and chased. Because he had a head of steam and was already moving forward, Knuble closed ground on Whitney. Because Whitney had to turn and get to speed, Knuble beat him to the puck. What does Whitney do? Exactly what he needs to do -- assuming, of course, that he's playing good D and sticking to the system and not trying to please the unibrow set in the crowd: he angles Knuble away from the net, keeps him outside, and forces him up the boards, then ties him up against the glass until help arrives to support and retrieve the puck. He kept Knuble -- a big, strong guy with a heavy shot who likes to drive the net -- on the outside, never let him get even a whiff of a scoring chance, and handled that one-on-one situation about as well as you possibly can.
In the midst of that sequence, about the time Whitney had driven Knuble back to the boards, a couple of idiots behind me actually yelled out that Whitney was blowing another play, and that he never should have let Knuble get the puck, and that he should have smashed him into the boards (which would have almost surely drawn a penalty, since Knuble had his back to Whitney the whole time). They were not satisfied with outstanding defense -- no doubt because they wouldn't recognize it even if it bit them on their ignorant asses -- and instead wanted either a big hit, a magic trick, or a repudiation of the laws of physics.
It would take all three, apparently, for the talk-radio dipstick set to be satisfied with Ryan Whitney's play in this postseason. Those of us with IQs -- both regular and hockey -- in the triple digits are plenty satisfied with his performance. Because we know what we see. And because we actually understand it when we see it.
(Oh -- and one more thing:)
(Let's Go, Pens.)
UPDATE, 10:58pm: After tonight's game, Whitney sits alone atop the team's +/- rating at +7. (Hossa, Scuderi, Malkin, and Malone are tied for second at +5.)
Posted: Sun - May 11, 2008 at 02:50 PM
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Published On: Jan 16, 2009 04:50 PM
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Published On: Jan 16, 2009 04:50 PM