YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING


and this too.

Michael Vick, mediocre Atlanta Falcons quarterback and all-pro dog killer, pleads guilty to federal charges, strides to a bank of microphones a few minutes later, and declares: Through this situation I have found Jesus.

Arthur Blank, mediocre Atlanta Falcons owner and all-pro wheelchair pusher, waits for Vick to plead his guilt and find his savior, then strides to a bank of reporters and declares: We cannot tell you today that Michael is cut from the team. Cutting him may feel better emotionally for us and for many of our fans, but it's not in the long-term best interests of our franchise.

As a public service for all TWM readers who do not speak amoral slimeballeze, we offer here a pair of handy translations...

Vick: I killed me some dogs, but now I love me some God.

Blank: Dogs? What dogs?

It's enough to make you wish for a pox -- or, better yet, a rabies -- on both their awful houses.

Posted: Mon - August 27, 2007 at 02:30 PM          

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