DAY OF THE DICKHEAD MINIVAN DRIVER


a sequel no one was waiting for, but everyone was expecting.

There must be something about Thursdays. And minivans. In Squirrel Hill.

After last Thursday's semi-satirical, Romeroesque rant about the death of safety and civility and the rise of zombie-worthy minivan drivers on the mean and savage streets of the greater East End, today comes an email from one of TWM's most faithful and favorite readers -- we'll call her Mrs. Smith -- with another tale of Squirrel Hill horror and minivan mayhem:

Given your recent post regarding minivans and the dickheads who drive them, I know you will appreciate my own minivan encounter from this morning. Sadly, I must add, it also involves endangering the lives of young children.

As I approached the intersection of Forward and Murray, I was cut off by a minivan. Not just any minivan mind you, but one that was transporting school children. We both turned onto Pocusset. As I followed behind, I could see the silhouette of a cell phone in the driver's extended right hand with the driver talking into the phone. At the top of the hill, instead of stopping at the stop sign, the minivan pulled a U-turn, turning the vehicle across both lanes of traffic on Wightman, bringing all traffic to a halt. Apparently the minivan was picking up a school student waiting at the corner. Once the child was inside the minivan, the driver turned down Pocusset, all the while still chatting away on the cell phone.

Here I thought it was just people dropping off their children at school we had to worry about. But now it's the school vehicles as well. I'm surprised the driver actually stopped to pick up the child. I almost expected the side door to slide open with the waiting child running alongside so he could jump in. What's more important, your damn phone call or the safety of the children for which you are responsible?

I guess I got my answer.

You certainly did, my dear. Too bad it's the same one we always get, over and over and over again, whenever we hit the streets and hope for the best and try to survive a world in which drivers of two-ton deadly weapons show the same amounts of human concern and consciousness as these guys.

Posted: Thu - March 6, 2008 at 03:21 PM          

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