WHEN THE PRESIDENT TALKS TO GOD


does he ever think that maybe he's not?

Got an email and a forward this afternoon from one of TWM's most favorite readers and writers -- we'll call him Mr. R. -- who assures me that Every once in a while, God gets it right. As proof of his claim, as well as of the notion that Justin Juozapavicius of the Associated Press has far more restraint and patience than I, he submits this text:

TULSA, Okla. (AP) — Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University Wednesday that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but he did so because God insisted.

Roberts told students in the university's chapel that God told him on Thanksgiving that he should resign the next day. Roberts said he resisted the idea, and that "every ounce of my flesh said 'no,'" but he prayed over the decision with his wife, Lindsay Roberts, and his father, Oral Roberts, and decided to step down.

A lawsuit accuses Roberts of lavish spending at a time when the university faced more than $50 million in debt. On Tuesday, the founder of a Christian office and education supply store chain pledged $70 million to help the university.

Roberts has previously said that God told him to deny the allegations. The week the lawsuit was filed, Richard Roberts said that God told him: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

I am moved to comment on these four paragraphs -- if only to admire the pure and epic poetry of Mr. Robert's pure and epic insanity -- but anything I might write has already been written, and better, by Mr. R. himself:

I am always amazed at the people with whom God chooses to converse, and astonished at the language God occasionally uses. "We live in a litigious society." That one's right up there with "Thou Shalt Not Covet" and "Blessed are the meek..."

Possibly, God will soon email Mr. Roberts, or perhaps send him a Candygram. If angered, perhaps God will soap his windows, or shit in a bag and set it afire on the Roberts porch.

God seems to be getting down with us these days, and I should not be surprised to see Him with a rainbow wig at the next NFL game, holding up a sign that says John 3:16 or even "Me, Book of Genesis."

He would not bother, of course, to cite The Book of Revelation. If only because, in a world far-too-full of people like Richard Roberts, no one would believe Him anyway.

Posted: Wed - November 28, 2007 at 04:31 PM          

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