IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO THIS


some people are just...

Yesterday's notes about lawyers and syntax and the often dysfunctional relations between them brought a small bevy -- a bevyette? -- of emails into TWM headquarters last night. My favorite came from a first-time emailer -- we'll call her LV -- who charmed me in just about every possible way, but most especially with compliments to my writing, precision use of vulgarity, and demonstration of the (alas) increasingly rare ability to place a comma inside a quotation mark:

As a Pitt-trained lawyer, I can answer your (I'm sure rhetorical) question about lawyers and syntax.

It all boils down to this: some people are just assholes. Had the Scaifes' attorneys decided instead to become doctors, they'd be the type to change your appointment in order to golf. Had they become mechanics, they'd be the type to lie about your car's needs and bill you five times the reasonable charge for a service. Had they become chefs, they'd be the type to give you three peas on a huge white plate, call it "gourmet," and charge you $85 for the "privilege" of eating it. But they're lawyers, and so they write the literary equivalent of a BMW convertible with a "MY BMR" license plate.

At least at schools like Pitt -- that is to say, schools that have some connection to the real world -- the educational emphasis is on moving away from once-valued jargon and unnecessarily complex writing. Legalese is archaic; simplicity is the new black. Unless you're one-a-those assholes.

Sign me,
Legally Vexed

And sign me,
Totally Agreed.

Posted: Sat - September 22, 2007 at 09:29 AM          

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