AND THE NUMBER OF THE COUNTING SHALL BE THREE
four shalt thou not count, nor either
count two, excepting that thou proceed to three.
Five is right out. But The
Barmaid is always right on. And so, as regular readers of TWM already
know, I can never resist when she slides a tall, cool (empty) one all the way
down the bar and tells me to shake and stir and pour a little drink (or two, or
three) of my own. So for her, as always for you, here's a little TWM cocktail
for a Tuesday afternoon...
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. That there are still twenty-one months 'til the 2008 election.
2. That so many people were so genuinely fascinated by She Who Can Not Be Named.
3. That the Penguins still do not have an arena deal and so could still leave Pittsburgh.
THREE INEVITABILITIES THAT TERRIFY ME TO MY CORE
1. The deaths of family and friends.
2. Adam and Ethan learning to drive.
3. The aging and dulling of my mind.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH
1. Ron Vassel.
2. Lewis Black.
3. Bill Maher.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OK IN THE END
1. Wendy.
2. My Mom.
3. Ethan.
THREE THINGS I LOVE
1. Time spent with family & friends.
2. A week at the beach.
3. Going to a hockey game.
THREE THINGS I HEART
1. Christmas morning.
2. Skippy Peanut Butter.
3. Snuggling under the covers on a cold, gray morning.
THREE GUILTY PLEASURES
1. McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
2. Listening to the Mark Madden show.
3. Rockin' out with guitars (both air and real) when I'm the only one home.
THREE DECADENT INDULGENCES
1. Dinner at Dish.
2. Dessert at Gullifty's.
3. A night on the concierge level at the Pittsburgh Hilton.
THREE THINGS I HATERADE
1. People who drive or walk or eat or shop or check out at the grocery store while blabbing on their cell phones.
2. People who can't write but think they can.
3. People who don't think but try to write and argue as if they do.
(In other words: see Favorite Quotation #2 below.)
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND
1. The popularity of professional wrestling.
2. Why NASCAR is considered a sport.
3. Why Matthew McConaughey is considered a sex symbol.
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. My iPod.
2. A Kyser guitar capo.
3. The 30th Anniversary Born to Run box set.
THREE (INNOCENT) CRUSHES
1. Jenna Fischer.
2. Rachel McAdams.
3. Kim Possible.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Read to and play with my grandchildren.
2. See the Eagles win a Super Bowl.
3. Live another fifty years or so.
THREE THINGS I CAN DO
1. Write.
2. Teach.
3. Love.
THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO
1. Your head.
2. Your heart.
3. Your parents.
THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER LISTEN TO
1. Meteorologists.
2. Gangsta rap.
3. Rush Limbaugh.
THREE THINGS I’D LIKE TO LEARN
1. Who really killed JFK.
2. Why anyone thought The Blair Witch Project was a good movie.
3. How the president -- or anyone who still thinks he's doing a good job -- can look in the mirror each morning.
THREE JOBS I’D LOVE TO TRY
1. NHL or NFL play-by-play man. (I guarantee I’d be better than Joe Buck.)
2. Talk radio host. (I guarantee I’d be better than Sean Hannity.)
3. Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist. (I hope I'd be almost as good as Dennis Roddy.)
THREE FAVORITE FOODS
1. Pulled pork.
2. Steamed shrimp.
3. Filet Mignon.
THREE COMFORT FOODS
1. Grilled cheese.
2. German pancakes.
3. Wilbur Buds.
THREE FAVORITE QUOTATIONS
1. Extremism is so easy. You've got your position, and that's it. It doesn't take much thought. And when you go far enough to the right you meet the same idiots coming around from the left. – Clint Eastwood
2. But principally I hate and detest that animal called man, although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth. This is the system upon which I have governed myself many years... and I never will have peace of mind till all honest men are of my opinion. – Jonathan Swift (In other words, see: "Three Things I Haterade" above.)
3.The only thing I’ve found that counts in this world is love. – Peter Case
THREE SONGS I’M ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR
1. Thunder Road, Bruce Springsteen.
2. Running on Empty, Jackson Browne.
2. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, Elton John.
THREE SONGS I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
1. Gravity's Gone, Drive-By Truckers.
2. Feb 14, Drive-By Truckers.
3. Aftermath USA, Drive-By Truckers
THREE MOVIES NO ONE HAS SEEN BUT EVERYONE SHOULD SEE
1. A Pure Formality.
2. Children of Men.
3. Woman in the Dunes.
THREE ONSCREEN MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
1. The Tiny Dancer sing-along in Almost Famous.
2. The end of the U.S.-Soviet hockey game in Miracle.
3. The Battle of the Bands performance in School of Rock.
THREE VOICES I LOVE TO HEAR
1. Margo Timmins.
2. Morgan Freeman.
3. James Earl Jones.
THREE RESPONSES I’D LIKE TO READ
1. The Blizz.
2. Badger.
3. JPP.
And so, once all these number threes, being the third numbers, be reached, and are counted, I now lobbest my Holy Meme of Barmaid towards my friends, who, being naughty in my sight, shall write it. I hope.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. That there are still twenty-one months 'til the 2008 election.
2. That so many people were so genuinely fascinated by She Who Can Not Be Named.
3. That the Penguins still do not have an arena deal and so could still leave Pittsburgh.
THREE INEVITABILITIES THAT TERRIFY ME TO MY CORE
1. The deaths of family and friends.
2. Adam and Ethan learning to drive.
3. The aging and dulling of my mind.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH
1. Ron Vassel.
2. Lewis Black.
3. Bill Maher.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OK IN THE END
1. Wendy.
2. My Mom.
3. Ethan.
THREE THINGS I LOVE
1. Time spent with family & friends.
2. A week at the beach.
3. Going to a hockey game.
THREE THINGS I HEART
1. Christmas morning.
2. Skippy Peanut Butter.
3. Snuggling under the covers on a cold, gray morning.
THREE GUILTY PLEASURES
1. McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
2. Listening to the Mark Madden show.
3. Rockin' out with guitars (both air and real) when I'm the only one home.
THREE DECADENT INDULGENCES
1. Dinner at Dish.
2. Dessert at Gullifty's.
3. A night on the concierge level at the Pittsburgh Hilton.
THREE THINGS I HATERADE
1. People who drive or walk or eat or shop or check out at the grocery store while blabbing on their cell phones.
2. People who can't write but think they can.
3. People who don't think but try to write and argue as if they do.
(In other words: see Favorite Quotation #2 below.)
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND
1. The popularity of professional wrestling.
2. Why NASCAR is considered a sport.
3. Why Matthew McConaughey is considered a sex symbol.
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. My iPod.
2. A Kyser guitar capo.
3. The 30th Anniversary Born to Run box set.
THREE (INNOCENT) CRUSHES
1. Jenna Fischer.
2. Rachel McAdams.
3. Kim Possible.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Read to and play with my grandchildren.
2. See the Eagles win a Super Bowl.
3. Live another fifty years or so.
THREE THINGS I CAN DO
1. Write.
2. Teach.
3. Love.
THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO
1. Your head.
2. Your heart.
3. Your parents.
THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER LISTEN TO
1. Meteorologists.
2. Gangsta rap.
3. Rush Limbaugh.
THREE THINGS I’D LIKE TO LEARN
1. Who really killed JFK.
2. Why anyone thought The Blair Witch Project was a good movie.
3. How the president -- or anyone who still thinks he's doing a good job -- can look in the mirror each morning.
THREE JOBS I’D LOVE TO TRY
1. NHL or NFL play-by-play man. (I guarantee I’d be better than Joe Buck.)
2. Talk radio host. (I guarantee I’d be better than Sean Hannity.)
3. Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist. (I hope I'd be almost as good as Dennis Roddy.)
THREE FAVORITE FOODS
1. Pulled pork.
2. Steamed shrimp.
3. Filet Mignon.
THREE COMFORT FOODS
1. Grilled cheese.
2. German pancakes.
3. Wilbur Buds.
THREE FAVORITE QUOTATIONS
1. Extremism is so easy. You've got your position, and that's it. It doesn't take much thought. And when you go far enough to the right you meet the same idiots coming around from the left. – Clint Eastwood
2. But principally I hate and detest that animal called man, although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth. This is the system upon which I have governed myself many years... and I never will have peace of mind till all honest men are of my opinion. – Jonathan Swift (In other words, see: "Three Things I Haterade" above.)
3.The only thing I’ve found that counts in this world is love. – Peter Case
THREE SONGS I’M ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR
1. Thunder Road, Bruce Springsteen.
2. Running on Empty, Jackson Browne.
2. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, Elton John.
THREE SONGS I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
1. Gravity's Gone, Drive-By Truckers.
2. Feb 14, Drive-By Truckers.
3. Aftermath USA, Drive-By Truckers
THREE MOVIES NO ONE HAS SEEN BUT EVERYONE SHOULD SEE
1. A Pure Formality.
2. Children of Men.
3. Woman in the Dunes.
THREE ONSCREEN MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
1. The Tiny Dancer sing-along in Almost Famous.
2. The end of the U.S.-Soviet hockey game in Miracle.
3. The Battle of the Bands performance in School of Rock.
THREE VOICES I LOVE TO HEAR
1. Margo Timmins.
2. Morgan Freeman.
3. James Earl Jones.
THREE RESPONSES I’D LIKE TO READ
1. The Blizz.
2. Badger.
3. JPP.
And so, once all these number threes, being the third numbers, be reached, and are counted, I now lobbest my Holy Meme of Barmaid towards my friends, who, being naughty in my sight, shall write it. I hope.
Posted: Tue - February 20, 2007 at 02:16 PM
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Published On: Jan 16, 2009 04:51 PM
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Published On: Jan 16, 2009 04:51 PM