LET US ALL REMAIN ALERT
for political smears and paranoid
innuendo.
You can tell that a Democratic presidential
candidate has truly arrived when he begins to suffer the smears and arrows of
outrageous right-wing misfortune. And with so many people in the mainstream
Obamedia already calling shotgun on the Barack
bandwagon, you knew it was only a matter of time before the lunatic fringe
swiftboaters and conspiracy theorists crawled out from under their considerable,
contemptible rocks to weigh in on the liberal black guy with the scary,
terrorist-sounding names.
Barack Obama, meet the smear-meisters, the wingnuts who'll believe them, and the news channel that'll happily report it all as if it's just one more fair and balanced public service...
TO: Unsuspecting Email Recipients Across the Country
FROM: Right-Wing Pond Scum Slime Oozers
SUBJECT: Let Us All Remain Alert!
Okay. So the TO and FROM fields don't actually say those things. But they may as well.
The SUBJECT line is accurate, and the email has been making the rounds the last few days. I got my first forward of it yesterday afternoon, from someone who'd gotten it from a Republican -- oh, the surprise! -- and thought I might be interested in seeing it because of my interest in Obamania and the Obamedia.
Pass this along to those who would be likely to think this guy is ok.
Which is a delicate way of saying, throw this against as many email walls as you can and hope that it sticks. Especially with swing-voters.
Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama...
Check out those last two names, people. The guy's gotta be a terrorist. Or a ruthless dictator on the rise. Or both.
...was born in Honolulu, Hawaii,...
Which, let's face it, is almost like being born outside the country. Have you ever seen the skin tone on all those Hawaiian natives? They look like terrorists, don't they?
...to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr.,...
Just in case you missed those names the first time.
...a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya...
Or doubted his dark-skinned, terrorist pedigree. His black half is the evil God half...
...and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas.
...and his white half is the godless half! This guy's bi-racial and bi-immoral! Can we just lynch him now and get it over with?
(Side note: I didn't know there were atheists in Kansas. She must have been the last one.)
Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.
You know: at one of those liberal, godless, ivory tower elite schools. On an island. In the middle of the Pacific. Near where the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, which was just like 9/11. Coincidence? They think not.
When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced.
No doubt because they were a godless atheist and an evil-godded Muslim. If they'd been Christian, they would have just stayed together, had affairs, and pretended to still love each other. This is yet another problem with these people.
His father returned to Kenya.
Where he belonged.
His mother then married Lolo Soetoro,...
Which sure doesn't sound American. And, as an added bonus, sounds sort of like the name of a woman. This must surely be a sign that Obama will legalize gay marriage.
...a radical Muslim from Indonesia.
You have to admire the radical qualifier -- as if, to the people for whom this email was written, there could be any other kind.
When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia.
Which, the emailers hope, you'll believe is somewhere close to Iraq.
Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school.
Not a bad track record for a guy being reared by an atheist Mom. You don't suppose the emailers would have been happier if he'd not attended any religious school, do you? No. Neither do I.
Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim.
Perhaps because he is not.
He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."
Just as you were a few sentences ago. Does that make you an IslamoFascist too?
Oh, and on a tangential, grammatical note: don't you just love when people make such creative use of quotation marks? Especially to put in a guy's mouth some words that he never said. Here's some appropriate use of quotation marks, placed around a sentence from one of Obama's books, Dreams of My Father: "In Indonesia, I'd spent 2 years at a Muslim school, 2 years at a Catholic school."
Sounds like the guy's got something to hide, doesn't it?
Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father,...
Perhaps because it did?
His father was, after all -- as this slimy, smeary email takes great pains to note -- one of those dirty Muslims.
...and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.
Which means, of course, that his influence was temporary at best.
Sheesh. You'd think these people could at least muster enough effort not to undermine their own accusations.
Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham,...
Or to repeat themselves.
I mean, really, didn't we just read that? If we're not paying enough to remember that detail -- especially with that evil sounding name; doesn't Lolo sound a lot like Marvolo, which everyone knows is Voldemort's middle name? and doesn't Soetoro sound more than a little Japanese? there's that Pearl Harbor, sneak attack connection again! -- then how are we ever gonna remember what a nasty, terrible, sleeper-agent IslamoFascist Barack Obama really is?
...introduced his stepson to Islam.
Unless they keep reminding us.
Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta.
It was not, in fact, a Wahhabi school. Nor is Wahabi the correct spelling. But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good smear campaign? It didn't stop the Swift Boaters!
And, of course, Wahhabi sounds an awful lot like wasabi, which should remind you of Sushi. And Japan. And Pearl Harbor. And sneak attacks on America by light-brown-skinned peoples with funny names like Hirohito. And Osama. And Obama.
Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.
Well, not exactly. But by now, you'd be shocked if it were.
Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States,...
That must be why Obama has been a practicing Christian all these years. His radical Muslim handlers and string-pullers and brainwashers must have instructed him to do so to protect his cover. Which has, of course, now been blown by the wonderful American patriots who originated this email. It's a shame they've chosen to remain anonymous, because I'd love to personally thank them for their efforts in exposing this terrible man.
...Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.
And because it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States.
Jeez. Don't you read your own emails?
Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.
This, I must admit, is rather disappointing. Let us all remain alert is hardly a stirring call to action. The guy's candidacy is by now more than expected. And the emailers blew a perfectly good opportunity to use Obama's full, terrorist-sounding name again here at the end. I know it's early in the campaign, but these guys have a lot of work to do if they really want to get back to the top of their venomous, verminous game.
Barack Obama, meet the smear-meisters, the wingnuts who'll believe them, and the news channel that'll happily report it all as if it's just one more fair and balanced public service...
TO: Unsuspecting Email Recipients Across the Country
FROM: Right-Wing Pond Scum Slime Oozers
SUBJECT: Let Us All Remain Alert!
Okay. So the TO and FROM fields don't actually say those things. But they may as well.
The SUBJECT line is accurate, and the email has been making the rounds the last few days. I got my first forward of it yesterday afternoon, from someone who'd gotten it from a Republican -- oh, the surprise! -- and thought I might be interested in seeing it because of my interest in Obamania and the Obamedia.
Pass this along to those who would be likely to think this guy is ok.
Which is a delicate way of saying, throw this against as many email walls as you can and hope that it sticks. Especially with swing-voters.
Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama...
Check out those last two names, people. The guy's gotta be a terrorist. Or a ruthless dictator on the rise. Or both.
...was born in Honolulu, Hawaii,...
Which, let's face it, is almost like being born outside the country. Have you ever seen the skin tone on all those Hawaiian natives? They look like terrorists, don't they?
...to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr.,...
Just in case you missed those names the first time.
...a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya...
Or doubted his dark-skinned, terrorist pedigree. His black half is the evil God half...
...and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas.
...and his white half is the godless half! This guy's bi-racial and bi-immoral! Can we just lynch him now and get it over with?
(Side note: I didn't know there were atheists in Kansas. She must have been the last one.)
Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.
You know: at one of those liberal, godless, ivory tower elite schools. On an island. In the middle of the Pacific. Near where the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, which was just like 9/11. Coincidence? They think not.
When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced.
No doubt because they were a godless atheist and an evil-godded Muslim. If they'd been Christian, they would have just stayed together, had affairs, and pretended to still love each other. This is yet another problem with these people.
His father returned to Kenya.
Where he belonged.
His mother then married Lolo Soetoro,...
Which sure doesn't sound American. And, as an added bonus, sounds sort of like the name of a woman. This must surely be a sign that Obama will legalize gay marriage.
...a radical Muslim from Indonesia.
You have to admire the radical qualifier -- as if, to the people for whom this email was written, there could be any other kind.
When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia.
Which, the emailers hope, you'll believe is somewhere close to Iraq.
Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school.
Not a bad track record for a guy being reared by an atheist Mom. You don't suppose the emailers would have been happier if he'd not attended any religious school, do you? No. Neither do I.
Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim.
Perhaps because he is not.
He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."
Just as you were a few sentences ago. Does that make you an IslamoFascist too?
Oh, and on a tangential, grammatical note: don't you just love when people make such creative use of quotation marks? Especially to put in a guy's mouth some words that he never said. Here's some appropriate use of quotation marks, placed around a sentence from one of Obama's books, Dreams of My Father: "In Indonesia, I'd spent 2 years at a Muslim school, 2 years at a Catholic school."
Sounds like the guy's got something to hide, doesn't it?
Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father,...
Perhaps because it did?
His father was, after all -- as this slimy, smeary email takes great pains to note -- one of those dirty Muslims.
...and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.
Which means, of course, that his influence was temporary at best.
Sheesh. You'd think these people could at least muster enough effort not to undermine their own accusations.
Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham,...
Or to repeat themselves.
I mean, really, didn't we just read that? If we're not paying enough to remember that detail -- especially with that evil sounding name; doesn't Lolo sound a lot like Marvolo, which everyone knows is Voldemort's middle name? and doesn't Soetoro sound more than a little Japanese? there's that Pearl Harbor, sneak attack connection again! -- then how are we ever gonna remember what a nasty, terrible, sleeper-agent IslamoFascist Barack Obama really is?
...introduced his stepson to Islam.
Unless they keep reminding us.
Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta.
It was not, in fact, a Wahhabi school. Nor is Wahabi the correct spelling. But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good smear campaign? It didn't stop the Swift Boaters!
And, of course, Wahhabi sounds an awful lot like wasabi, which should remind you of Sushi. And Japan. And Pearl Harbor. And sneak attacks on America by light-brown-skinned peoples with funny names like Hirohito. And Osama. And Obama.
Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.
Well, not exactly. But by now, you'd be shocked if it were.
Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States,...
That must be why Obama has been a practicing Christian all these years. His radical Muslim handlers and string-pullers and brainwashers must have instructed him to do so to protect his cover. Which has, of course, now been blown by the wonderful American patriots who originated this email. It's a shame they've chosen to remain anonymous, because I'd love to personally thank them for their efforts in exposing this terrible man.
...Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.
And because it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States.
Jeez. Don't you read your own emails?
Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.
This, I must admit, is rather disappointing. Let us all remain alert is hardly a stirring call to action. The guy's candidacy is by now more than expected. And the emailers blew a perfectly good opportunity to use Obama's full, terrorist-sounding name again here at the end. I know it's early in the campaign, but these guys have a lot of work to do if they really want to get back to the top of their venomous, verminous game.
Posted: Tue - January 23, 2007 at 09:19 AM
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