THE HOMETOWN TEMPERATURE
from hooter to doodyville.
Of the many great sillinesses that infect local
weather reports, perhaps the silliest is the damn dogged insistence with which
meteorologists pluck four or five towns, neighborhoods, burbs, burgs,
municipalities, or trailer parks from the region and tell us the temperatures in
each spot.
Yeah, I know it's a harmless little shout-out to those communities, and I suppose it does capture the lovely local flavor of the hometown meteorological advantage, and I imagine the good people in Blawnox get all a-twitter when they see their very own temperature up there on the screen. But come on, people. A two-degree variation across Allegheny County -- it's 32 in Sharpsburg, but it's 34 in Mt. Lebanon! -- isn't exactly a revelation. If it's ever 32 in Aspinwall and 63 in Robinson, then by all means let me know. (Hell, feel free to lead off with team coverage, because that would be a story.) But until then, just lose that goofy graphic, tell us what the temperature is in Pittsburgh -- which, for official record-keeping purposes, is actually the temperature some 16 miles west at the Pittsburgh International Airport anyway -- and we'll all be close enough to know which coat and hat to wear outside.
That said, I must admit there is one way to make this stupid convention at least mildly entertaining: the choice of an especially unique or euphonic or just downright odd little assembly of locations. This past Tuesday night, TWM-approved meteorologist Jeff Verszyla took to the Pittsburgh CW airwaves and unleashed the single greatest collection of local temperatures in the history of the practice: Slickville, Wampum, Hickory, and Smock. (I kid you not.) I can't remember what the temperatures were, and I don't really give a damn, because those four names were so much fun to say, to repeat, to just roll around in my mouth and spit back out again, that I had to write them down, save them, and repeat them here.
If Jeff (or anyone else) can consistently produce a mad-cap collection of municipalities like that -- it sounds like the leading law firm in Doodyville -- then I may have to re-evaluate my position. But until then, I think we can all sleep soundly at night without the solemn reassurance that Squirrel Hill, Shadyside, and Sheraden are all the exact same temperature.
Yeah, I know it's a harmless little shout-out to those communities, and I suppose it does capture the lovely local flavor of the hometown meteorological advantage, and I imagine the good people in Blawnox get all a-twitter when they see their very own temperature up there on the screen. But come on, people. A two-degree variation across Allegheny County -- it's 32 in Sharpsburg, but it's 34 in Mt. Lebanon! -- isn't exactly a revelation. If it's ever 32 in Aspinwall and 63 in Robinson, then by all means let me know. (Hell, feel free to lead off with team coverage, because that would be a story.) But until then, just lose that goofy graphic, tell us what the temperature is in Pittsburgh -- which, for official record-keeping purposes, is actually the temperature some 16 miles west at the Pittsburgh International Airport anyway -- and we'll all be close enough to know which coat and hat to wear outside.
That said, I must admit there is one way to make this stupid convention at least mildly entertaining: the choice of an especially unique or euphonic or just downright odd little assembly of locations. This past Tuesday night, TWM-approved meteorologist Jeff Verszyla took to the Pittsburgh CW airwaves and unleashed the single greatest collection of local temperatures in the history of the practice: Slickville, Wampum, Hickory, and Smock. (I kid you not.) I can't remember what the temperatures were, and I don't really give a damn, because those four names were so much fun to say, to repeat, to just roll around in my mouth and spit back out again, that I had to write them down, save them, and repeat them here.
If Jeff (or anyone else) can consistently produce a mad-cap collection of municipalities like that -- it sounds like the leading law firm in Doodyville -- then I may have to re-evaluate my position. But until then, I think we can all sleep soundly at night without the solemn reassurance that Squirrel Hill, Shadyside, and Sheraden are all the exact same temperature.
Posted: Sat - January 19, 2008 at 09:59 AM
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Published On: Jan 19, 2008 10:02 AM
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Published On: Jan 19, 2008 10:02 AM