NOTES FROM A FRIDAY AFTERNOON (AT THE END OF A MADDENING MONTH)
evacuating the facilities of my
mind.
For your consideration: another curious collection
of thoughts, reactions, and observations that didn't make it into a full-length
post this week. So they're sort of like all those second- and third-teamers
who, come the second half of preseason games, finally get those minutes to show
what they can do...
• In a Rose Garden announcement earlier today, President Bush proposed a plan to solve the subprime mortgage crisis. Though I have my doubts about how well it will work, I was relieved to see that the plan called for no invasions or occupations of Sovereign Banks.
• I don't know what's more shocking: that President Bush said Albert Gonzales was dragged through the mud for political reasons, or that he said it without laughing his ass off.
• Once more, just for the fun of it: Senator Larry Craig wants us to believe that he pled guilty to soliciting the kind of homosexual sex that he and his high moral values so abhor, something he insisted at the time was entrapment, and something he would never, ever do in a million years or opportunities because he is MOST CERTAINLY NOT GAY, all because he wanted the misconstruing of his actions and the subsequent wrongful, outrageous accusation about them to blow over as quickly and expeditiously as possible, if only so he wouldn't have to suffer any undue stress or negative publicity.
• All of which makes it painfully obvious that he thinks the rest of the country is as stupid as he is.
• Speaking of someone who must think people are as stupid as he is... I don't know how I missed this a couple of weeks ago. But it's one of the funniest damned things I've seen in a long, long time. (Bravo, Anthony. Bravo!)
• This is a close second.
• Here's another fantastic tidbit from Tuesday Morning Quarterback, this time coining a great new phrase and exposing the blatant hypocrisy at play in the fields of Live Earth: In July, numerous pop musicians and celebrities flew in private jets, then rode limos to the Live Earth concerts, where they demanded that others conserve. Some 150 acts performed at the event's various venues. Suppose half the acts flew commercial, half aboard private jets. Flying a private jet a transcontinental distance generates greenhouse gases equivalent to driving a Hummer for a year. So that's 75 Hummer Years of greenhouse gases caused by the Live Earth acts that arrived by private jet. (TMQ proposes that henceforth, environmental hypocrisy be measured in Hummer Years.) If the other acts flew commercial, assuming the average act has five performers and crew and flies a medium distance, that would translate to about 550 tons of greenhouse gases, which is another 60 Hummer Years of global-warming emissions. Now factor in all the spectators and staff attending the various Live Earth concerts. John Buckley of Carbonfootprint.com estimated that around 35,000 tons of greenhouse gases were caused by spectators and logistical support for Live Earth -- converted into HYs, that's about the same as driving a Hummer for 4,000 years. Four thousand years' worth of Hummer emissions for an event demanding conservation! And we're just talking about one day of screeching guitars and slurred lyrics, not about the many pop stars who live the private jet lifestyle the year long. As Marina Hyde of London's Guardian newspaper pointed out, Sting's wife recently charted a helicopter to fly her to an environmental meeting.
• Think of all those Hummer Years the next time a politician who will spend more than a year-and-a-half cris-crossing the country in private jets and buses and limos declares that we should give up our SUVs.
• Note to John Edwards: I'll give up my SUV as soon as you require everyone in the United States to use mass transit and/or live within fifteen miles of where they work. Until everyone who lives in Cranberry (and Washington County, and Westmoreland County, and...) stops driving 50 or more miles a day five days a week to get to work in Pittsburgh, Wendy and I (combined round trip: 3 miles) will be keeping our (clean-burning) 4Runner and not feeling even the slightest bit guilty.
• Oh, John? One more thing: Don't you dare go after those suburban commuters until you go after the owners of the private jets and the private boats and the private helicopters. And NASCAR. And Indy Racing. And... well, you get the idea.
• Many people in the world should never, ever be allowed to have children. These people are among them.
• From a zero-star review of September Dawn comes yet another quotable piece of Roger Ebert goodness: I am trying as hard as I can to imagine the audience for this movie. Every time I make any progress, it scares me.
• That new US Airways Steelers plane looks pretty cool. Almost as cool, in fact, as the Eagles plane looked last year.
• As long as we're comparing Eagles and Steelers accessories, let me just point out what anyone with a fully functioning brain already knows: that Swoop kicks Steely McBeam's ugly yellow ass every day of the week. And twice on Sundays.
• Speaking of -- to borrow a phrase from PittGirl's most cheeky lexicon -- the giantest vacuum of suck EVER!... Remember that email I received a couple of weeks ago From The Desk of someone claiming to be Shitty McBad himself? (Of course you do.) Do you remember that shamelessly self-promoting blog link that accompanied it? (Of course you do.) And do you remember my simple, eloquent analysis of it? (Of course you do.) Well, it seems the Blogger Facetiously Known As Steely didn't take too kindly to it; witness the new description of the blog -- and I use the term loosely, since the sum total of its contribution to letters stands at a whopping two posts -- now appearing in the sidebar: His personal diary and other items, which probably seem much funnier to Steely McBeam as he writes them than they do to you, but quite frankly that is because you are a humorless asshole. Hmm. Do you think I got under his sickly yellow skin?
• And do you think the old-school, family-oriented Rooney Clan approves of its new mascot's potty mouth? Is that the proper example to be setting for the children of Steeler Nation? Dan? Art? Anyone...?
• In a Rose Garden announcement earlier today, President Bush proposed a plan to solve the subprime mortgage crisis. Though I have my doubts about how well it will work, I was relieved to see that the plan called for no invasions or occupations of Sovereign Banks.
• I don't know what's more shocking: that President Bush said Albert Gonzales was dragged through the mud for political reasons, or that he said it without laughing his ass off.
• Once more, just for the fun of it: Senator Larry Craig wants us to believe that he pled guilty to soliciting the kind of homosexual sex that he and his high moral values so abhor, something he insisted at the time was entrapment, and something he would never, ever do in a million years or opportunities because he is MOST CERTAINLY NOT GAY, all because he wanted the misconstruing of his actions and the subsequent wrongful, outrageous accusation about them to blow over as quickly and expeditiously as possible, if only so he wouldn't have to suffer any undue stress or negative publicity.
• All of which makes it painfully obvious that he thinks the rest of the country is as stupid as he is.
• Speaking of someone who must think people are as stupid as he is... I don't know how I missed this a couple of weeks ago. But it's one of the funniest damned things I've seen in a long, long time. (Bravo, Anthony. Bravo!)
• This is a close second.
• Here's another fantastic tidbit from Tuesday Morning Quarterback, this time coining a great new phrase and exposing the blatant hypocrisy at play in the fields of Live Earth: In July, numerous pop musicians and celebrities flew in private jets, then rode limos to the Live Earth concerts, where they demanded that others conserve. Some 150 acts performed at the event's various venues. Suppose half the acts flew commercial, half aboard private jets. Flying a private jet a transcontinental distance generates greenhouse gases equivalent to driving a Hummer for a year. So that's 75 Hummer Years of greenhouse gases caused by the Live Earth acts that arrived by private jet. (TMQ proposes that henceforth, environmental hypocrisy be measured in Hummer Years.) If the other acts flew commercial, assuming the average act has five performers and crew and flies a medium distance, that would translate to about 550 tons of greenhouse gases, which is another 60 Hummer Years of global-warming emissions. Now factor in all the spectators and staff attending the various Live Earth concerts. John Buckley of Carbonfootprint.com estimated that around 35,000 tons of greenhouse gases were caused by spectators and logistical support for Live Earth -- converted into HYs, that's about the same as driving a Hummer for 4,000 years. Four thousand years' worth of Hummer emissions for an event demanding conservation! And we're just talking about one day of screeching guitars and slurred lyrics, not about the many pop stars who live the private jet lifestyle the year long. As Marina Hyde of London's Guardian newspaper pointed out, Sting's wife recently charted a helicopter to fly her to an environmental meeting.
• Think of all those Hummer Years the next time a politician who will spend more than a year-and-a-half cris-crossing the country in private jets and buses and limos declares that we should give up our SUVs.
• Note to John Edwards: I'll give up my SUV as soon as you require everyone in the United States to use mass transit and/or live within fifteen miles of where they work. Until everyone who lives in Cranberry (and Washington County, and Westmoreland County, and...) stops driving 50 or more miles a day five days a week to get to work in Pittsburgh, Wendy and I (combined round trip: 3 miles) will be keeping our (clean-burning) 4Runner and not feeling even the slightest bit guilty.
• Oh, John? One more thing: Don't you dare go after those suburban commuters until you go after the owners of the private jets and the private boats and the private helicopters. And NASCAR. And Indy Racing. And... well, you get the idea.
• Many people in the world should never, ever be allowed to have children. These people are among them.
• From a zero-star review of September Dawn comes yet another quotable piece of Roger Ebert goodness: I am trying as hard as I can to imagine the audience for this movie. Every time I make any progress, it scares me.
• That new US Airways Steelers plane looks pretty cool. Almost as cool, in fact, as the Eagles plane looked last year.
• As long as we're comparing Eagles and Steelers accessories, let me just point out what anyone with a fully functioning brain already knows: that Swoop kicks Steely McBeam's ugly yellow ass every day of the week. And twice on Sundays.
• Speaking of -- to borrow a phrase from PittGirl's most cheeky lexicon -- the giantest vacuum of suck EVER!... Remember that email I received a couple of weeks ago From The Desk of someone claiming to be Shitty McBad himself? (Of course you do.) Do you remember that shamelessly self-promoting blog link that accompanied it? (Of course you do.) And do you remember my simple, eloquent analysis of it? (Of course you do.) Well, it seems the Blogger Facetiously Known As Steely didn't take too kindly to it; witness the new description of the blog -- and I use the term loosely, since the sum total of its contribution to letters stands at a whopping two posts -- now appearing in the sidebar: His personal diary and other items, which probably seem much funnier to Steely McBeam as he writes them than they do to you, but quite frankly that is because you are a humorless asshole. Hmm. Do you think I got under his sickly yellow skin?
• And do you think the old-school, family-oriented Rooney Clan approves of its new mascot's potty mouth? Is that the proper example to be setting for the children of Steeler Nation? Dan? Art? Anyone...?
Posted: Fri - August 31, 2007 at 04:27 PM
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Published On: Jan 16, 2009 04:50 PM
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