It was only a little more than four months ago that most, if not all of us, were gathered together to celebrate Amos Friend's life. While we grieved his passing, he was well aware, as we all are, that dying is as natural as being born, and that our birth is but death begun. It is in this same spirit, that of celebrating Ruth's life, that prompted me to accept the opportunity of speaking about Ruth at this service. We shall miss her, and her family most of all, for she was a most loyal Mother, faithful to her own, under all circumstances and concerned always about their lives and welfare. Hers was a life worthy of emulation, an inexhaustible source of love and compassion.

No one person lives alone and apart from the rest of mankind, and we all, in our varied and diverse ways, touch all about us. Ruth touched us all in a way that we'll always remember, for her touch was gentle, kind, warm and caring, and we were all enriched by this experience. her touch was lasting, indelible and inerasable, and will remain with us for the remainder of our lives. For this we are most grateful.

Thomas Jefferson said "I would rather light a candle from another's candle rather than curse darkness" for, in so doing, I am adding to the light of the world while no detracting from the other's light. Ruth's candle has shown brightly and provided added enlightenment to our lives. She has illuminated new paths for us to explore when our lives are darkened by adversity and despair. her candle will continue to shine brightly in our lives so long as we live.

The aphorism that "still waters runneth deep" is true of Ruth Friend. One might suspect she was shy, certainly upon one's first meeting, for she was not aggressive or forward, but as one came to know Ruth better, one realized what a magnificent person she truly was. Totally unselfish, concerned and caring for her legion of friends, captivating when she opened up and exposed her fine and well informed mind, and attractive beyond words when her deep love of life was released from her "genie" bottle. She was like a beautiful but filled with the promise of beauty which, on appropriate occasions, would open up and shower us with its beauty and fragrance. Truly she was a beautiful flower among us and, like most flowers, unfortunately, transient in their presence.

One of the real pleasures of my life was to be invited into Ruth's home, always immaculate, and always providing an atmosphere conducive to friendly and cordial relationships. Her welcome smile never seemed to desert her. She was a most gracious hostess, always mindful of the kitchen. Her dinners were always full of pleasant surprises, and in the kitchen, she was a "natural" and the envy of us all.

I will especially remember Ruth for her loyalty to all about her and the fact that there was no hate, anger or vindictiveness in her soul. If it may be said of any person that they turned the proverbial "cheek" when struck, it can surely be said of Ruth, and in this regard she was set apart from most of us. For me, I shall remember her as "One to whom was given so much of heaven and so much of earth", for she represented the best in the human spirit.

Dr. Dumphey who was one of America's great surgeons and who died two years ago after wrestling with an incurable malignancy for six years, said shortly before his death - "Death holds no fearful threat for me, for living without life would be hell. Death is natural, it may be just, it is often easeful and merciful, and ought always to be dignified. Who knows, it may be paradise." If it is paradise, I am sure Ruth is there together with Amos, with whom she shared so much of life's pleasures and joys:

If I may paraphrase Archibald Macleish:

Our departed friend Ruth speaks no longer. Nevertheless she is heard in the stillness of our hearts. She says I was alive at one time and have now died. Remember me. I have done in my time what could be done, but my job is unfinished. It is yours to finish, and until it is finished it is not done. Whether my life will be for the good or for nothing will mean what you make it, and it is for you to say it. Give my life added meaning in yours, for in that manner I shall continue to live.

I was alive once and have died. Remember me as your friend, Ruth Friend.

Remember me.AMEN

Charles E. Jacobson

October 15, 1983