Tue - March 25, 2008

Kiddie-Porn-Roll



If you've never been Rick-rolled, then click this link to see laughing babies and skateboard accidents. Wasn't that a fun surprise? Think how fun it'll be when the FBI does it:

The FBI has recently adopted a novel investigative technique: posting hyperlinks that purport to be illegal videos of minors having sex, and then raiding the homes of anyone willing to click on them.

Undercover FBI agents used this hyperlink-enticement technique, which directed Internet users to a clandestine government server, to stage armed raids of homes in Pennsylvania, New York, and Nevada last year. The supposed video files actually were gibberish and contained no illegal images.

A CNET News.com review of legal documents shows that courts have approved of this technique, even though it raises questions about entrapment, the problems of identifying who's using an open wireless connection--and whether anyone who clicks on a FBI link that contains no child pornography should be automatically subject to a dawn raid by federal police.

Roderick Vosburgh, a doctoral student at Temple University who also taught history at La Salle University, was raided at home in February 2007 after he allegedly clicked on the FBI's hyperlink. Federal agents knocked on the door around 7 a.m., falsely claiming they wanted to talk to Vosburgh about his car. Once he opened the door, they threw him to the ground outside his house and handcuffed him.

Skipping to the scary part:

There's no evidence the referring site was recorded as well, meaning the FBI couldn't tell if the visitor found the links through Ranchi or another source such as an e-mail message.

That sucker got Kiddie-porn-rolled. I guess the moral of the story is: "Never click on any links anywhere on the internet ever." Here's something safe to click on, I promise.

(via Classical Values)

Posted at 05:53 PM    

Wed - March 12, 2008

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years



Why do today what can be put off until tomorrow?

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,”’ Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.


(via Chaika's Sister)

Posted at 06:11 PM    

Thu - February 14, 2008

Northern Illinois University Shooting



This is supposed to keep updating as details come in. Here's what they've got as of now:

DEKALB, Ill. - A gunman opened fire Thursday in a packed lecture hall on the campus of Northern Illinois University, wounding as many as 15 people, police and witnesses said. Police said the gunman was dead. Police reported that the scene was secure and that the gunman was “no longer a threat” about an hour after the shooting, which occurred about 4 p.m. ET in Cole Hall. It was not immediately clear whether the man committed suicide or was killed by police. Three people with head wounds were being treated at Rockford Medical Center, and a spokesman at Kishwaukee Community Hospital in DeKalb told NBC News that area hospitals had been advised “to expect up to 15 injured people from the campus.”

.
Think he was going for a St. Valentine's Day Massacre theme?

Update: Here's a roundup, and here's another.

Posted at 05:22 PM    

Wed - November 14, 2007

Some Indian Dude Done Went And Married A Bitch



This is a heartworming story:
.
An Indian man has married a dog in a Hindu ceremony - to atone for stoning two other dogs to death.

The man, known as Mr Selvakumar, believed he had been cursed by the killings 15 years ago, and wanted to repair the damage done.

An astrologer told him the only way to remove the curse would be to marry a female dog.

The former stray dog named Selvi - now officially known as Mrs Selvakumar - was chosen by the man's family, bathed and dressed in a sari for the celebrations.


.


Sundaresh had better hurry Indiaward before all the best bitches are spoken for. I resort to the easy "bitch" joke because it's easy and I'm lazy. Plus "bitch" is just really fun to type, bitch.

(via Treacher on Daily Gut - Don't miss the comments on that post because some of them employ clever puns and such)

Posted at 06:03 PM    

Thu - September 6, 2007

Frederalism



Fred Thompson is finally officially running for President. He seems to be a fan of federalism, so he's got that going for him:


The Framers drew their design for our Constitution from a basic understanding of human nature. From the wisdom of the ages and from fresh experience, they understood the better angels of our nature, and the less admirable qualities of human beings entrusted with power.

The Framers believed in free markets, rights of property and the rule of law, and they set these principles firmly in the Constitution. Above all, the Framers enshrined in our founding documents, and left to our care, the principle that rights come from our Creator and not from our government.

We developed institutions that allowed these principles to take root and flourish: a government of limited powers derived from, and assigned to, first the people, then the states, and finally the national government. A government strong enough to protect us and do its job competently, but modest and humane enough to let the people govern themselves. Centralized government is not the solution to all of our problems and – with too much power – such centralization has a way of compounding our problems. This was among the great insights of 1787, and it is just as vital in 2007.

The federalist construct of strong states and limited federal government put in place by our Founders was intended to give states the freedom to experiment and innovate. It envisions states as laboratories in competition with each other to develop ideas and programs to benefit their people, to see what works and what does not.


... Before anything else, folks in Washington ought to be asking first and foremost, “Should government be doing this? And if so, then at what level of government?”


Since I haven't seen anybody else use them yet, I'd like to lay claim to the following brand new terms: "Frederalism", "Frederalist", "Frederalist Papers", and the much less useful "Confrederacy".

9/7 update: Google tells us that other folks have already used all of those words. I figured I would claim them before checking, just so I could have a day of pretending I'm creative. Sort of like the sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn. At least I've got "Frederale" -- in English, anyway.

.

Posted at 08:32 PM    

Wed - May 30, 2007

Mmmmm... Pig



Jamison Stone killed himself a mighty large chunk of ham:



Over 1,000 pounds. Tasty. Here's a nice quote from the 11-year-old pork-slayer:

"It feels really good," Jamison, of Pickensville, said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Posted at 07:43 PM    

Depressed? Try some semen!



Semen may be an anti-depressant:


The finding that women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals.

Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation for women whose partners regularly used condoms.


Makes sense I guess.

(via Instapundit)

Posted at 07:31 PM    

Sun - May 13, 2007

Cop Bakes Pot Brownies, Calls 911



Edward Sanchez confiscated some pot. He and his wife baked it into some brownies. That's when time started moving really really really slow:


Sanchez:I think I'm having an overdose. and so is my wife.
911: Overdose of what?
Sanchez: Marijuana...
Sanchez: We made brownies. and I think we're dead. I really do...
Sanchez: Time is going by really, really, really slow...
Sanchez: What's the score in the Red Wings game?
911: I've got no clue, i don't watch the Red Wings.
Sanchez: I just wanted to make sure this isn't some kind of hallucination I'm having.


Here's audio of the 911 call.

(via Boing Boing)

Posted at 01:08 PM    

Mon - April 23, 2007

Go-kart scalps woman



It's all fun and games 'till somebody loses a scalp:


LAKEWOOD, Wash. – It appeared to be simply a freak accident.

A family's night out at a go-kart raceway in Pierce County turned tragic after a woman was scalped by the go-kart she was driving.

But now, Faye Brown's family is learning what happened to her isn't so rare, and they're trying to prevent it from happening again.

Back in January, the Browns decided to try out the go-karts at Grand Prix Raceway in Lakewood. Faye Brown was in a go-kart by herself.  She was wearing a helmet with her long ponytail hanging behind her.

"She was in the first group," says Faye's husband Greg. "I believe she was one of the first cars coming around in the first lap."

All of the sudden, something went wrong.

"I saw a go-kart and a bald headed person leaning over, and it was my wife," says Greg.

Faye's ponytail had gotten caught in the spinning rear axle of the go-kart – her scalp ripped from her head.

What was left is gruesome to describe.

"Her bare bone skull was exposed," says Greg.  "It was gone, all the way down to the skull."

Faye, whose long black mane was her pride and joy, has spent the last four months going through skin grafts and physical therapy for whiplash.

"Her long hair was her crowning glory," says Greg.  "It was her identity and to have so violently ripped off her head, she could have been killed in this thing."


And that's our feel-good story for today.

(via Florida Cracker)

Posted at 07:59 PM    

Tue - April 17, 2007

A Gator in Decatur? Indiana?




(Sheriff's department photo)

Well, not Decatur. But right down the road southeast of Berne:


...A dead alligator some seven feet long and weighing about 125 pounds was found Monday afternoon in a rural catch basin in southern Adams County. Deputy Sheriff Larry Butler said two men from the county surveyor's office, Lonnie Caffee and Lynn Myers, found the creature in a concrete catch basin, from which the cover had been removed most of the way, leaving an opening large enough for the reptile to enter. The location was in a small woods at County Rds. 000 and 700 South, about a mile southeast of Berne. The deputy said the 'gator was probably let loose by someone and thought it had been dead a week or more when it was found around 2 p.m.


This story comes to us from Toby, who adds, "for those of you who don't know where this was located, it was just across the field from my brother Jeff's house and about 3 miles from my house!!  I guess we should pay close attention when we take the pool cover off on Jeff's pool!"

Posted at 08:20 PM    

Sat - March 31, 2007

what the world needs now is a 50-foot michael jackson robot that shoots laser beams





03/27/2007 4:00 PM, Yahoo! Music
Dotmusic

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Link

(via The Corner)

Posted at 12:21 PM    

Wed - February 7, 2007

Atlantic City Gambler Gives Birth On Casino Floor



I'm going to go ahead and call it right now. This kid's doomed:


(CBS/AP) ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. An Atlantic City woman playing the penny slots Saturday morning left the Resorts Atlantic City casino with her own little jackpot -- a new baby boy.

Thirty-two-year-old Nyree Thompson was eight months pregnant when she went into labor on the casino floor.

At first, she said she mistook the labor pains for gas.

But after going to the restroom she told a security guard that she might be giving birth.

Thompson said the guard thought she was joking. Then her water broke.

Minutes later, a boy weighing less than five pounds was born.



Even Chaika's Sister has been able to tear herself away from the high stakes gambling action long enough for baby ejection.

(via Blowing Smoke)

Posted at 07:39 PM    

Husband's underpant tantrum destroys home



This fella's a real problem-solver:


An angry husband who threw old clothes into the garden and set fire to them because he couldn't find any clean underpants accidentally burnt his home down.

Ivo Jerbic, 55, from Prikraj, near Zagreb, told police he had lost his temper after failing to find any clean underpants in a closet full of old clothes.

He had thrown them all in the garden and set fire to them.

He told police: "My wife never throws anything out, I just lost my temper."

But the fire spread to the house which burned to the ground.

Local news agency Hina reported that Jerbic could end up in jail for up to eight years for putting other family members in danger, even though no one was injured.


(via The Corner)

Posted at 07:29 PM    

Sat - January 20, 2007

Don't Let a Romanian Surgeon With a bad temper operate on you



This isn't something you hear about every day:


Surgeon Naum Ciomu, who had been suffering from stress at the time, had been operating on patient Nelu Radonescu, 36, to correct a testicular malformation when he suddenly lost his temper.

Grabbing a scalpel, he sliced off the penis in front of shocked nursing staff, and then placed it on the operating table where he chopped it into small pieces before storming out of the operating theatre at Bucharest hospital.


Don't miss the caption to the picture at the link.

(via The Corner)

Posted at 12:49 PM    

Sat - December 30, 2006

Look Who's Dead





Saddam Hussein done went and got himself hanged to death this morning. I guess now he can be reunited with his lover:




Saddam a go go:

More here.

Posted at 08:24 AM    

Fri - December 29, 2006

I hear Sidney's nice this time of year



Even I've never gotten this lost. Of course I've never tried to get to Australia:


BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in the Australian metropolis Sydney landed 13,000 kilometers (8,077 miles) away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking Web site.

Dressed for the Australian summer in T-shirt and shorts, Tobi Gutt left Germany on Saturday for a four-week holiday.

Instead of arriving "down under", Gutt found himself on a different continent and bound for the chilly state of Montana.

"I did wonder but I didn't want to say anything," Gutt told the Bild newspaper. "I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the United States."


(via Sprunger)

Posted at 09:17 AM    

Tue - December 19, 2006

ZUCKER TAKES ON THE IRAQ STUDY GROUP AND JAMES BAKER



Here's an ad by David Zucker, of Airplane fame. Yeah, this is going to end well.

Posted at 09:51 PM    

Tue - December 12, 2006

Let The Blind Hunt



An idea whose time has come?

Posted at 09:12 PM    

Thu - December 7, 2006

Iraq's got a beach volleyball team





That's the Iraqi team with the Japanese in Qatar. More here.

(via Ghost of a Flea)

Posted at 12:01 PM    

Wed - December 6, 2006

No, That's Not Creepy at All...



Seems Robert Shields updated his diary almost continuously (as in every five minutes) for over twenty years. Here's a page:



His diary was over 35,000,000 words.

(via Boing Boing)

Posted at 10:13 PM    






























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Published On: Mar 26, 2008 05:40 PM
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