I dropped off a happy, smiling baby at daycare today. I was surprised to find it was not any easier than taking a sad toddler to preschool.

 

Finally!

Despite a rather rough drop-off this morning, Ava had a great day at preschool. I stopped by to peek in on her around 11 am, and found her to actually be smiling as she cleared her lunch plate and headed over to her mat for nap time. (I really am going to stop dropping by during the day--one of these times, she's going to spot me, and that will be disastrous. Still, it's so comforting to know that she's doing well.)

When Bryan picked her up tonight, she was working on puzzles with the other kids at her little table. Come to find out, she'd done a great job of playing all day. She even planted a bean seed! To celebrate her positive attitude, Bryan took her to Target to get a special toy. She came out with an Alice Wonderland doll, bath crayons, animal paper plates and utensils, apple juice and chocolate. Quite the haul! (I asked Bryan if he thought maybe he was spoiling her just a bit--his response was, "She's my baby.")

To really drive home the point of how pleased we were with her day, we had her favorite dinner (macaroni and cheese) and are now watching her favorite movie (Alice in Wonderland, of course). We also called the moms, so Ava could tell her grandmas how much fun she had today. Hopefully, the excitement of the night will carry over to tomorrow.






Olivia had a good day, too. She was even awake for part of it! Diane she's a very sweet and smiley baby, and that was definitely the case when I came to feed her over lunch. The whole day must have worn her out--she's already had a catnap this evening.




Now, let's see how bedtime goes...
 

I celebrated my 30th birthday this weekend, and despite a small incident involving my now short hair, I think I handled it with the maturity you would expect from someone no longer in her twenties. Fortunately, I was able to mark the occasion with my good friend Liana, who was there for our last six or seven birthdays (23, 24, a few 25s...). We met for a spa weekend in Des Moines, the almost-halfway point between our home states.

We kicked off the getaway with pedicures--I selected an O.P.I. color that just happened to be called "20 Candles on my Cake," and spent the weekend wondering if I was too old to sport hot pink toes. We had a great time, all before turning in at a very modest hour. (Seriously, it was like 10 p.m.--we really aren't 25 anymore.)

I headed back home Sunday morning, and even though I was gone for more than 24 hours, Olivia definitely remembered me the minute I walked in. She's been reconnecting all night. Ava, too--she was excited to share a few gifts like chocolates and a 100-page photo album that spans senior prom to last week.

The icing on the cake was the actual cake itself--a diamond-shaped creation that Bryan painstakingly assembled this afternoon.















I am one lucky birthday girl.

 

 

I did it.

Thanks for the advice!
 

Ava was a bit reluctant to go to preschool this morning, but was good until we got into the car. Then, she screamed the whole way there. She also cried when I dropped her off, but it’s actually not that hard to leave a kid who’s been yelling, “I want my daddy!” since you drove out of the driveway. 

Still, she had a good day--she even brought home artwork!

Here's a shot from the other day. Ava came over to me and said, "I am wearing loud shoes, so I have to go to work. You understand--you can stay and play. Here are some puzzles for you to do. I'll pick you up this afternoon. Love you!"





It must have been casual day.
 

"Olivia, how did you get that big scratch on your nose?"





"Oh, I see."

 

At 5:15 this morning, I met with a personal trainer for a free consultation. Now, I need to decide if I should sign up. It’s a one-on-one, goal-oriented shop with private suites—totally different from a gym setting. I liked it, but it’s very expensive. Also, I am notorious for not following through on things like this, so I want to be sure I can make a serious commitment. Help me weigh the pros and cons.
 
Pros: 

• The appointments would be Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:15 am, so I don’t lose any family time. 

• It’s right down the street. 

• The program is very personalized. 

• It would be hard to skip given the standing appointment—I’d be inconveniencing someone pretty significantly by not showing up. As a people-pleaser, this would be highly motivating for me. 

• I’d get to buy cute new workout clothes. 

• They help you build a complementary diet plan. 

• Free bottled water!
 
Cons: 

• It was still dark when I got back home this morning. 

• They are going to measure my body fat, and then actually tell me what it is. 

• It’s very expensive, though I did negotiate what I think is a relatively good deal. 

• I would have to, you know, work out. Regularly. With weights. 

• Did I mention the cost? 

• I have to pay for two month up front. So, if I bail halfway through, I lose a lot. 

 
I’m just really not sure what to do. I know a few people who are having tremendous success with a personal trainer, so that makes me very jealous optimistic.
 
As someone who has failed at numerous attempts at things like this in the past, I hesitate to drop this kind of money up front—I don’t quite trust myself. Also, I have a feeling I will be unable to bend over and tie my own shoes come tomorrow morning—I’m already sore. By Friday I will probably feel like paying someone outrageous amounts of money just so I don’t have to do this again.
 
On the other hand, I really want to make some serious changes in my life. (I think it’s that big birthday that’s just around the corner.) I’m not saying I’m giving up brownies, but perhaps I could stop at one (okay, two). I think I’d be more likely to do that if I’d gone to the effort of a serious workout first thing in the morning.
 
I’m relatively sure I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried. Many, many times. I need a structured plan with accountability.
 
I told the trainer I’d decide by tomorrow afternoon. Help! 

Since I had both girls at home this afternoon, I had the opportunity to take several photos. I will post more over the next few days!






 

If yesterday went better than expected, then today was worse than I could have imagined.
 
When Bryan picked Ava up from preschool yesterday afternoon, she was sad and weepy, though the teacher’s aide said that she had only been upset for the very last part of the day. When she got home, Ava had good things to say about her class, teacher and fun activities like singing songs and painting pictures, and she seemed really excited about going back. We had a great night—we even took Ava to get a new balloon to celebrate her first day.
 
Then, everything shifted at about 8 pm. Ava threw a 12-hour tantrum—a sustained fit that rivaled any I’ve ever seen. This morning, she fought every step in getting ready and hollered the entire way to preschool, all the while threatening to bite everyone there. The teacher had to pry her off me while the other children just stared in awe. (Take note, impressionable toddlers—this is how you instill guilt in a parent.)
 
In the back of my mind, I wondered if Ava was feeling well. We’ve been in this situation before—totally outrageous behavior that’s actually the result of an otherwise well-hidden illness. As I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon, I was actually hopeful that was the case again this time.
 
By the time I called around 9 am, Ava was totally calm. I even had the opportunity to talk to her, though she didn’t say much. Still, I was comforted by the lack of screaming. I told her we’d pick her up in time for her doctor’s appointment this afternoon. (I stopped in shortly after noon—at naptime—and found her to be sound asleep on her mat. Rather than wake her, I had Bryan pick her up about an hour later.)
 
She was in a find mood (of course) when I took her to the appointment. As we waited for the doctor, she gave me a little check-up with the play doctor’s set. She found a little scalpel(!), held my hand and said, “Now I’m going to cut your arm in half.” I said, “Won’t that hurt?!” Her response? “Not if you hold still.” Sure, right.
 
Anyway, the diagnosis was an ear infection—just as I’d expected. Now that she’s on some pain medication, she seems much happier already. Since she’s not running a fever, she can return to preschool tomorrow if she feels well.
 
The day is ending much better than it started. This morning the teacher explained that the second day was always worse than the first. I wish I’d known that going in. That said, I didn’t have the strength to ask about day three.
  

Bry: “Hey my first issue of ‘Family Handyman’ arrived.”

Me: “Actually, that’s the second one. The first one is over here.”

Bry: “What?! I hate being behind on magazines. Look, I could have already transformed our bathroom for less than $500. Ooh, cool cleaning tips. You could learn from this too.”

 

Apparently, all of my fretting made a difference—the day went off without a hitch!

Last night, I jokingly told Bryan I was going to give Ava a dose of Benadryl to ensure an early bedtime, but she actually did quite well on her own. In fact, we were all asleep before 9 pm.

When Olivia woke up at 5 am, I was thrilled to see that the temperature never dropped below freezing during the night. I took a quick walk and found the wind chill to be quite fierce, but at least we didn’t have to contend with ice or snow.

We had everyone loaded up and ready to go by 7:30. On a normal day, I’ll drop off Ava and pick up Olivia, and Bryan will drop off Olivia and pick up Ava. Today, though, we all went together.

First stop: Ava’s new preschool.





I am so proud of Ava. We talked quite a bit last night about what it means to be a big girl. I said if she didn’t cry at the drop off, I wouldn’t either. (Only one of us held true to that promise.)





I gave Ava a big hug and told her goodbye. As I turned to go, I heard a tiny little voice say, “Mommy?” I turned around, gave her one more hug and said, “You’ll have a great time, and we’ll pick you up this afternoon.” Her response? “Alright.” So grown up!

We took Olivia to Diane’s next, and in true second-child form, we forgot the camera. Unbelievable. I did take this shot at Ava’s preschool, though, so if she ever asks, at least I have something. Besides—and not surprisingly—she slept through the entire process.





Before I picked up Olivia this afternoon, I stopped by the preschool to check on Ava. I didn’t want her to see me, so I peered through the window of her classroom door. It was naptime--she was resting on her mat, her face just out of site. Her teacher said she was doing quite well. I can’t wait to here her stories about the day.

Olivia did well, too. Diane said she loved watching the kids play. It must have worn her out—she’s been snoozing since we got home.

It felt really good to get back to work this morning. My coworkers surprised me with all kinds of great treats, and I spent the morning getting organized and crossing a few small projects off my list. I’m sure I’ll be grousing about it in a few months, but right now, I’m grateful to have some structure and routine to life again.
 

When Bryan got home from work Friday night, we drove up to Nebraska to join Ava at Doug and Karyl’s. Debbie brought Ava’s cousin Leo out earlier in the day, and it seemed the two were having a great time playing/causing trouble together.

Saturday was gorgeous with temperatures in the 60s. We kicked off what Doug has deemed “The Year of the Deck-Slash-Patio or Whatever That Thing Is Called.” It’s been a while since we’d been able to spend any length of time outside, and there’s really no better place to enjoy a glass (or bottle) of wine. I’m looking forward to many more there this summer!

We left early this morning and made a quick stop at my Dad’s, where my grandpa held Olivia for the first time. (He has, of course, met her before, but he felt this was the first time she wouldn’t be easily broken.) Both girls snoozed the entire way home.











Tonight we’re in total prep mode for what my grandma rightfully dubbed “Monday Morning Trauma,” noting that the day will likely be much harder on Bryan and I than it will be on either child.

I’m pretty nervous, not only because it took us exactly two hours to prepare to leave a trip that took about 90 minutes last week, but also because the weather is supposed to shift overnight. (We currently have a high wind advisory, flood warning and winter storm watch in effect—perfect Kansas weather.)

There’s also a ton of things to prepare—diapers, wipes, bottles, milk (which I hope I remember to thaw before I go to bed), pacifiers, blankets, extra clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste, and of course, two rather large checks. I’m doing as much in advance as possible, and I have a checklist ready to go. (Last item: Nerves of steel.)
 

Finally, some photos!

We’ve been having numerous computer issues—first, the martini, which is still causing major problems with the keyboard. (I’ve been misappropriating state resources and typing entries on my work MacBook. If anyone challenges me on this, my response will be something along the lines of, “Hey, I continued to respond to email while IN LABOR!” I think it all evens out.)

Then, as I tried to upload photos a few days ago, I found the hard drive was full. Bry helped with a quick, but probably temporary, fix. Our PowerBook is getting really bogged down and it’s becoming very slow. I really need to move the blog to a different (maybe web-based) platform. (Any suggestions?)

Despite all this, I do have a few shots to share from Ava’s last day at daycare.

Diane threw Ava a great party on Tuesday—cupcakes, balloons and dancing. There were only a few tears (mostly mine, a few from Diane).








Ava starts preschool on Monday, and I’m having a much harder time with the transition than she is. Everything with Ava is new, and therefore, totally unknown. I know she is a smart, happy, outgoing girl who will adapt quickly to a new environment. But on the other hand, she is sensitive and really, still so little and usually short on sleep. I’m worried about those first few days with a new location, a new teacher and new kids.

If there’s an upside to all of this ruminating, it’s that I haven’t really had much time to think about what it will be like to drop Olivia off at Diane’s the same day. With Ava, I obsessed over this for the entire length of leave, and pushed my start date back twice.

This time around, I have the benefit of experience. I know Diane, and that helps tremendously. (It also helps to know that my first week back will only be half days, and even after that, I can still see Olivia every day over lunch.) And, above all, I know Olivia will flourish just like Ava did.

Nevertheless, I still find myself questioning the entire situation. (I know, though, that I’m not a good stay-at-home mom. I’ve tried. At month four, I stop watching Martha and start watching Dr. Phil. Instead of baking cookies, I drink vodka. It’s not good for anyone.)

Why, though, did I decide to go back to work, start Ava at preschool and take Olivia to daycare all on the same day? Bryan calls it the “Band-Aid” approach—one fast tug and it’s all done. Quick and painless.

We’ll see.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my last day at home. Ava’s visiting Grandma and Grandpa Smith, so it’s very quiet here. Olivia is, of course, snoozing in her swing. I have a few hundred whiskers to add to Hello Kitty birthday invitations, and then I’m going to wake up that baby a bit early from her afternoon nap one last time. She can sleep on Monday.



Time flies. 

Is anyone else Watching Lipstick Jungle?



It’s a new series on NBC from the writer behind Sex and they City, and I’m starting to think it has the potential to be just as big. It’s about three career women (and best friends, of course) working in New York City.

In all honesty, the only reason I sought it out in the first place is my long-term girl crush on Brooke Shields. Now, though, I think Kim Raver (Nico Reilly) is the real star. A solid 20 percent of the writing is completely cringe-worthy, but the rest is darn good and getting better with every episode.

Product placements run rampant—there’s a Mac or BlackBerry or red-soled Christian Louboutin in nearly every shot, and I have an incredibly strong urge to buy out the Maybelline section at Target so that I, too, can get that “Lipstick Jungle look.” Still, the wardrobes are incredible and the plots lines are salacious.

I complete agree with one critic that said Andrew McCarthy is “no Mr. Big,” but the rest of the cast is really growing on me.

You can watch full episodes online at NBC.com.