1.) "It's my life..."



Hi, I'm Suzy. I'm Dave's motorcycle. Do you know why he named me "Suzy"? It's because I'm a Suzuki SV650. Isn't that creative? I think that's so creative. By the way, I'm being totally sarcastic right now. We motorcycles are usually very sarcastic.




Hi, I'm Herbert! I'm Dave's minivan! He named me "Herbert" because I look like a big, dorky guy. But I don't care! I love Dave!

I don't like Suzy, tho. She's so sarcastic.




Hi, I'm Dave's right hand. I'm the hand that Dave uses to punch the things that make him angry - things like sharp-cornered tables, and vending machines, and sometimes his own friends. I'm the bad hand.




Hi, I'm Dave's left hand. I'd like to say that I'm the "good" hand, but that'd be untrue. Since Dave's right-handed, I really don't do shit. I'm more like the "useless" hand. All of Dave's other body parts laugh at me. Even his appendix. Man, fuck that shit. Fuck the appendix.




Hi, I'm beer. I get in trouble a lot. Whenever I get in trouble, Dave comes to my rescue.


Posted: Tue - April 26, 2005 at 01:12 AM             |

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