Daffynitions

Bath Coup: getting to use the tub before your roommate.

Doubleton: 4,000 pounds.

Free Bid: all of them, once you pay your entry fee.

Gerber Convention: annual meeting of baby-food manufacturers.

Jack Denies: headlines about Marilyn Monroe’s relationship with J.F.K.

Key-Card Blackwood: an ingenious convention that allows you to get to a grand slam off the ace of trumps.

Law of Total Tricks: recent Las Vegas ordinance to reduce prostitution.

Quick Tricks: last-minute scurry by hookers to beat the ordinance.

Negative Double: the one that gets wrapped around your neck.

Reverse Bid: an opening like “Club One.”

Roman Discards: Caesar’s trash.

Short Club: a private organization for midgets.

Splinter Bid: the only known way to become declarer with a singleton trump in each hand.

Texas Transfer: relocation to a branch office in Dallas.

Trump Coup: triumph of Ivana’s attorneys in securing a huge alimony.

Trump Echo: a brand new casino in Atlantic City.

Vienna Coup: the mating sound of Austrian doves.

Wolff Sign-off: the ending of Little Red Riding Hood.