50 Ways To Lose Your Partner

By Marilyn Hemenway

"The problem is all inside your head," he said to me.
"The answer is easy if you take it logically."
So already I was determined to be free.
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.

He said, "It's really not my habit to come unglued,
And I hope my meaning will not be misconstrued.
But I'll repeat myself, not caring if I'm crude."
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.

He said, "It would be nice if you'd use your brain.
Perhaps I should yell at you once again."
I said, "Please don't do that or I'll explain
About the 50 ways to lose a partner.

He said, "Why don't we just skip it for tonight.
Maybe next time you'll see the light."
And then he ordered yet one more beer lite.
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.

The hand was over; he pulled out the sheet.
And said to me, "Now, that's quite a feat.
There are 25 tables and not a pair did we beat."
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.

Again we took the card out of the board,
26 points; I had a hand I adored.
Bid a grand, but they led an ace - it scored!
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.

T'was the last hand of the night.
He opened 2; my hand was a sight.
"Pass," I said, perhaps out of spite?
There must be 50 ways to lose a partner.