What happens to children who don't get the help they need?
Kindergarten |1995
My son began school: happy, curiou, excited and open to learning.
As a parent, I began the school years with hope that my son would find friends and would feel comfortable because I was going to be a paernt volunteer. However, school turned out to be a horrible experience. Beginning in Kindergarten, I was called to the school office weekly becuase of my son's behavior. I was continually pressured to medicate my son, come to meetings with the school, and was investigated for child abuse becuase of "annonymous" phone calls reporting me for child abuse. My classroom volunteering revealed that my son was singled out continually and when I tried to bring the social situation in the classroom up for conversation, I was dismissed.
By first grade, my hyperactive son had missed more school than I could count from suspensions and by the end of the year, was placed in a class for autistic children.
As a parent, I was devistated. I had been beaten up by the school during the process my son was going through. All the while, I had no idea that I had options.
Third Grade |1998
By third grade, my son had been: suspended from school weekly in kindergarten and first grade, not allowed to play with other children on the play ground in first grade, placed in a class with low-functioning Autistic children and then threatened with more suspensions, moved back to the regular education program in another school, not allowed to play with students during recess at the new school, educated most of the day within resource class, and caught back in a cycle of suspensions again. The process caused him to become an angry, mean, self-hating little boy.
My son would come home every day and say "I hate myself," "I'm an idiot," "I can't do anything right," "I don't care."
I remember leaving the classroom volunteer time, walking to my car, and crying weekly becuase of what I saw in the classroom. Every time I came, my son was just getting back to the general education classroom from resource, the teacher would stare at him and send a silent message that clearly said "I wish you weren't here. You take so much time." When I left the class, he would leave and go back to the resource room. I was torn apart weekly and then would come home every night to a boy saying he hated himself and who was becoming so depressed, he was placed on anti-depression pills.
The volunteer time made me so uncomfortable that I started calling attorneys. Every attorney wanted a $1,500 retainer. Every time I met an attorney and got to the point where I explained I had no money and our lives were being destroyed, all I got in response was a sypathetic look and some statement about how many parents can't afford help before being wished good luck and walked to the door.
At some point, our lives became so over-dominated by the school and we were so miserable, I started pushing back. I called a state information center that was barely more supportive than the attorneys. This information center gave me one thing. They gave me a composite of laws book. This was what I needed. I was just completing a BA in Criminology, Law, and Society. I took the knowledge I gained about law and used it to figure out how to fight the bureaucracy that was clamping its iron jaw down on my son and I.
In 1998, I began fight back. I filed a complaint locally, at the state level, started taping my IEPs and begain documenting every detail I observed during my parent volunteer days. By 1999, my son was in a private school that met his needs and he started to change back into the little boy I knew before the school system hurt him so deeply.
Fifth Grade|2000
By the begining of fourth grade, I had my son in a therapeutic treatment oriented school for children with behavioral problems that have high IQs. This appropriate placement allowed him to learn how to behave and learn. My son did not come home from school making self-depricating statements, there were no more suspensions, no more investigations of my parenting, and we were healing.
The fight wasn't over but our every waking moment wasn't dominated by pain, sadness, and the school.
High School |2004
The only words to describe the effect of an appropriate education during early elementary years are "I got my son back." My son is doing well in high school. He still receives RSP support but we do not have a fraction of the problems from those years of gross education system neglect
Advocacy changed our lives and gave me my son back!
Senior Year |2007
Advocacy paid off. My son is graduating this year from high school. He passed the exit exam after the first attempt. He's number one in his school in Varsity Pole Vault and is actually ahead by 10 credits for graduation requirements. My son is not in trouble in school or in society. He's a functioning citizen on his way to college.
This is what I worked for! This outcome is what I sacrificed opportunities for and it was worth it!
There has been no greater way for me to spend my life than advocating for my son and the other student's put in my path through the non-profit. Seeing him succeed is satisfaction in life money can't buy. If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same thing. I would fight this righteous battle because it's no less than a child's life chances on the line every time I advocate for a child!