Divine Aesthetics: The Blog

You know you're a Megalomaniac when...

This list was mainly written by Paul and myself, although a friend from a writing group we helped found (hi, Teri!) added the "Australia" one. This used to be on that writing group's site, but since that group has long since died out (and Paul was asking about it) I thought I would post it here.

If you can think of a good addition, I'm not adverse to editing this list.

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-You find yourself laughing along with the villain in a TV show, movie, etc.

-You see taking over the world as "thinking small"

-Your hobby is taking over small European countries

-You own more than 3 edged weapons and know how to use them

-You blew up the building where your Megalomaniacs Anonymous club met.

-You cried when the Death Star blew up

-You saw the Death Star's destruction as a perfect opportunity for you to step in and take over

-Your evil laugh is copyrighted

-You analyze and learn from the mistakes of those who came before you (i.e.: Napoleon attacking Russia, Hitler attacking Russia, messing w/ a Sicilian when death is on the line, etc.)

-When showing your friends pics of your "latest conquests," instead of pictures of members of the opposite gender, you have pictures of capitol buildings

-You own a POWER Macintosh, just because of the name.

-You try to take over the world every night along with the help of an idiotic sidekick who enjoys using the word "NARF!"

-You've memorized every line said by the Emperor from Star Wars

-You've ever used the phrase, "I can use my powers for good, anytime ... no, really, I can."

-While watching Star Trek: TNG, you've ever said, "Yeah, I could take Q."

-You give Australia as a birthday gift to your childhood friend.

-You own stock in more than one munitions Co.

-You consider the "Dragon Slave" as a WEAK spell.

-You were rooting for the ID4 aliens.

-You saw Vlad the Impaler as "Too easy-going."

-The demons of darkness summon YOU.

-You've ever ended the psalm "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil..." with "'Cause it's MY valley!"

-You rewrite Shakespeare's plays so that the antagonists WIN.

-You can cause small woodland creatures to explode by concentrating.

Emrys Part II

Who walked in at the end of Part I?

I should specify something: This series is in a fantasy/sci-fi genre. Don't expect all normal situations here.

*Ding! Ding!*
*Ding! Ding!*


"Sorry, we're not ope-" Eric stopped talking when he saw who walked in. "Hope?"

"Hey, hotshot! Didja miss me?"

In front of Eric stood a girl who was almost a head shorter than him, although having half of her long, black hair pulled into a ponytail that arced out from the back of her head at a 45 degree angle did make her seem a little taller than she actually was. The oriental hairstyle was fitting, since she definitely got most of her looks from her mother. The exception was her noticeably pointed ears, which she'd inherited from her father - the one who taught Eric everything he knew about martial arts.

"Um, yeah, but what are you doing here?" Eric did little to hide his surprise. He'd last seen the half-elf when he was living in Tokyo, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Well, I'm pretty much done with high school so Mom's letting me start college, with the provision that I stay with someone she trusts. I guess she's afraid her little girl could get hurt in the big bad world."

"More like she wants someone to protect the world from the big bad Hope."

Eric saw the punch coming and easily dodged it. He was still over twice Hope's age, after all.

"So why here? I mean, don't get me wrong, I haven't seen you since Tokyo and it's nice to see you again, but I thought you'd, you know," Eric looked around, although he knew there was no one there, "... find a college in your own time."

"That's what I thought at first, but you know how overprotective my Mom is. She can pop in when ever she wants, unless you're in a different era. I really wanted to get out from under her wing, you know?"

Eric nodded in agreement to that. Training under her father had been a wonderful experience, but the old elf was so powerful he eclipsed everyone around him except Hope's mom. Eric knew exactly what it was like to live in someone else's shadow.

"In any case, you're cooler than your version in my era anyway. The older Eric is all serious and stuff - you and Cyra were a lot more fun to hang out with,"

Eric's smile vanished from his face, and Hope clapped her hands over her mouth. "Cyra's ..."

"Oh no! Eric, that wasn't supposed to happen yet! I mean, I remember Cyra from my time, and I'm not even-"

"Timelines change, Hope. You of all people should remember that. The day you came to this era you stopped it from being your past and turned it into an alternate history. Nothing that you remembered had to happen, and some of it happened a lot faster. Heck, you might not even be born in this timeline."

"You mean Dad's not ..."

"Both Blake and your father are still missing. Thankfully, so's Dimitri. Whatever Blake did to stop Dimitri in Tokyo, he was thorough about it."

"So ... you're stranded here, then?"

Eric gave a short, bitter laugh. More of a bark, actually. "Your Dad planned ahead. If I really wanted to go back I could find a way, but what would I go back to? I promised to take care of Fay, and I can do that better if I stay out of all the craziness for a couple decades."

"Fay ... oh, you mean Faile! She's here? Can I see her?"

"She's upstairs doing her homework, if she knows what's good for her." Eric said that comment louder than he needed to, but there was a squeak of surprise from the staircase, followed by the sound of someone scurrying back upstairs.

Hope moved to follow, and Eric called after her. "We go by 'Fay' here, it keeps the teasing down."

"O.K.!"

Eric turned to the still half full box of books, and decided he'd finish it later. After locking the front door for the evening, he went upstairs to join his daughter & their new guest.

The Bug

An insight on helping others.

Belly up in the water, the little insect flailed franticly in a vain attempt to break free. Wings that had allowed it to soar through the treetops now did nothing more than attract local fish.

I lowered my camera strap below the waterline to scoop it free, but each time I lifted it again the current I created pushed the bug aside.

It was a full minute before I realized what I had to do. Lowering the camera strap once more I placed it directly on top of the small bug. Instinctively it took hold of the solid object and was hoisted to safety.

Sometimes, in order to help someone you must also allow them to help themselves.

© 2001 Divine Aesthetics.

Imagine

I don't need no one / to tell me 'bout Heaven ... :)

How vivid is your imagination?

Can you imagine a forest? Oh, I'm sure you can imagine the concept of a forest - trees everywhere, the ground littered with leaves, rocks, and fallen branches - but can you imagine a forest completely - in whole ?

Every tree, every rock. The scar in that old oak where some foolish child carved his name. The way that leaf curls to resemble a not - so - perfect cylinder.

No?

Then why waste your time imagining it? Spend some time in the real world for a change, and marvel at the works of an imagination greater than your own.

© 2001 Divine Aesthetics.

Kids!

A short but serious look at growing up.
-=-=-

Kids!

They're nothing but ungrateful brats. Tell them something and they'll ignore you as long as you can. Show them something precious and they'll just destroy it.

I am a kid.

I am young not just in years but in mind. I refuse to let my inner child die, and am happier that way.

I am also an adult.

Two voids lurk inside each child, either of which can lead to self destruction: Inexperience and Immaturity. Inexperience is eliminated by life and paying attention to it. Immaturity is a much harder chasm to fill.

My immaturity is pushed to the side by a young sapling of maturity. It grows larger when I realize I am responsible for my actions. That my behavior will have an effect - positive or negative - on the world around me.

In us all is the power to bring joy or sadness, laughter or tears - not just to ourselves but to everyone around us. Maturity is the realization of this and the choice of one over the other.

© 2001 Divine Aesthetics.

Emrys, Part I

The red haired man shoved the screwdriver into his back pocket and opened a box of assorted books that was sitting against the wall with a dozen of it's brothers. A quick look-through showed that they were mostly chemistry textbooks, so he went to a bookcase labeled "Science" in bold, construction paper letters.

Starting a used book store is often a risky endeavor reserved for the retired or those with alternate incomes. The exception to that rule is when you set up shop in a college town and offer to buy and sell textbooks. By moving in right at the end of the Fall semester, Eric had guaranteed that he would be able to buy more books than he had the space for. At this point he was almost done setting up for his first wave of customers that would be giving him money - not the other way around.

*Ding! Ding!*
"Daddy!"


Eric's head snapped towards the open door in time to see a short red blur barge through and barrel into him. With a practiced twist he managed to protect his assailant from the Chemistry books that were now raining down around them. "Ack! Nice to see you, too, Fay. How was your first day back?"

The blur was (as Eric had suspected) now a red haired girl that looked to be about ten years old. Her jeans and PowerPuff Girls™ t-shirt had done little to restrict her movement as she used her patented tackle-hug, much to her father's dismay.

"Schoolwasgreat! Welearnedhowmummieshadtheirbrainstakenoutoftheirnoses (whichwaskindagross) andthattwowrongsdon'tmakearightbuttwonegativesmakeapositiveinmath *GASP* AndBillythrewupandhadtogotothanursebuttheysaidhe'llbebacktomorrow. Howwasyourdaydaddy?"

Eric blinked. Of course by now he was used to Fay talking like she'd just won a sugar eating contest, but it still took a moment to process everything she said when she was excited.

"Um, well, I'm almost done stocking the shelves. Howabout you go upstairs and get a snack, then I'll help you with your homework?"

"Ok, but don't take too long, okay?"

"No problem there. Now skeedadle, ya rugrat!" Eric took a playful swing at his daughter as she giggled and ran upstairs. Over the winter he and some friends had converted the second floor into a somewhat more than modest living space, including two bedrooms, a kitchen/dining room, a living room, a storage room, and a small dojo. Eric made it a point to spend at least an hour in the dojo every morning practicing his katas before Fay woke up.

Eric was finishing up the last box when a now familiar bell rang.

"Sorry, we're not ope-" Eric stopped talking when he saw who walked in.

Web Browsing Tips & Tricks

The following is a little report I had to do on a tutorial I found. I ended up turning it into a tutorial of my own. ^_^;;

I took the "How to use Internet Explorer 5.0" tutorial found at http://pd.l2l.org/lrn_browser.html. Being a self proclaimed technophile I already was familiar with the program, but I have had several revelations concerning Explorer that might seem interesting.

Toolbar: Windows Vs. Macintosh
There are noticeable differences between the Mac and Windows versions when it comes to some of the aesthetics, and when it comes to the toolbar. So far as the toolbar is concerned, the Windows version includes some features that the Mac version does not, and vice versa. I can edit HTML with the windows version, but I can access the Mac only program known as Sherlock (A program that searches multiple search engines at once) in the Mac version. The Mac version also allows configuration of the toolbar so tools you don't use don't clutter up the screen. If the Windows version allows this to, it was not obvious in the tutorial.

Address Bar: Just say "NO" to typing.
Something that I know the Win and Mac versions both include is "Auto Complete." For example, if I want to to go to http://www.google.com, all I have to do is type "google" in the address bar. Since most web sites begin with http:// and end with .com, Explorer will put that in for you by default.

Change the Homepage: Lassie, come home!
If you can create a web page, whether it's with raw code or saving as HTML in MS Word, you can make a portal page. Simply put all your favorite links on the page and save it on your hard drive, then set it as your homepage. When you next open an Explorer window, all your favorite links are there! The convenience of a Favorites bar with a LOT more space, especially if you use tables for your portal.

Checkmate

College student comes to terms with having loved and lost.

English 270, M 6:00
Fall '98
Final Short Story
Checkmate


"You want me to do what?"

"C'mon, it'll be good for you - for both of you."

"I seriously doubt that."

Amos finished off his soda and flipped over the check. After some over-simplified math he took out $7 to pay for his share of the food and cover the tip. Codie glanced at the slip of paper and handed Amos her share of the bill. With that, they both got up and headed towards the register.

"You're way too pessimistic, you know."

"I like to think it's more like realistic. Based on previous evidence..."

"...You 'have no faith that you'll ever find someone to spend the rest of your life with.' I know, I know - you've told me that like a thousand times already."

As the words were spoken, a quote popped unbidden into Amos's head:

That's a nice little speech you've got there - run through it a few more times and you might have it rehearsed to the point that nobody knows your acting.

What annoyed him was that they were his own words. He'd written them in one of his stories not a year earlier.

Amos hung his head as he walked out the door of the diner, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Sorry... but I still don't want to go on a date with her, even if she's as nice as you say she is." All irony aside, he was far too stubborn to give in once he set his mind down one path.

"Grr! You are so depressing sometimes!"

"And you think she'll have a good time on a date with someone as depressing as me?"

Codie threw a half-hearted punch at Amos, and it glanced off his shoulder. The flinch he gave was as much an act as the punch had been.

"You don't have to be depressing, you know. You can be a very... 'spiffy' person when you want to be."

They both chuckled at the inside joke. "Spiffy" was a word that Amos had used so often since his freshman year that among his friends it had even become his nickname.

-=-=-=-

On their way back to the dorms their conversation turned to more comfortable conversation, such as computers, Japanese animation, and the writing club of which they were both founding members. It wasn't until they got to where Codie had parked her car that she brought up the subject again.

"Look, I'm not saying you should marry her - just go on a date with her. One date. You and Demi are so much alike, you might actually enjoy yourself for a change."

"Codie..."

"Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?" Amos remained silent and examined an empty beer can someone had left sitting in the middle of the lot.. "Okay?"

"Okay... I promise I'll think about it."

"Okeedoke! I'll see you later then. Bye."

"Fare thee well." That was another running gag of sorts. Amos only said "Fare thee well" because he thought it made him sound eloquent - a sharp contrast to the wrinkled, shabby, paint-stained clothing he preferred to wear.

They hugged goodbye, and then Codie got in her car and drove off to her apartment. Amos shivered against the cold in spite of his coat and hurried back to his nice warm dorm room to get some sleep. He had an early class the next morning.

-=-=-=-

That's a nice little speech you've got there...

"Yeah it is, isn't it?"

Despite how tired he was, Amos couldn't get his mind off of this whole blind date business. He knew his current attitude made most of his friends disappointed in him, but he really didn't see a better alternative.

"If you're tired of getting burned, stop getting so close to the fire."

...run through it a few more times and you might have it rehearsed to the point that nobody knows your acting.

"It never works out. Either nothing happens or I fall for her while she falls for someone else and lives happily ever after."

...run through it a few more times...

Amos recalled a chess game he'd seen his roommate playing once. For lack of something better to do, he'd decided to adopt two different strategies and play himself. At the point when Amos walked in, both sides were mirror images of each other. Neither side had the upper hand. Or both did. It depended on how you looked at it.

His roommate had started out with two plans of attack, but over time they'd come together to be the same thing - only for different sides.

That game was never finished. After Amos showed up, the pieces were put away and they both left to go grab something to eat. It was too bad, though. Amos would have liked to see which side came out on top. The moves could only mirror each other for so long - once one side called "check," the symmetry would be broken.

One side had to win.

Sure there could be a draw, but there was a winner and a looser in that, too. It was the last resort of the player who knew there was no other option but to loose. One could, in a draw, achieve the small victory of not loosing. "You can't beat me if the game goes on forever."

But even then it's known who should have lost, who should have won. All the loser gained was the ability to not give the winner satisfaction.

The game needed to play itself out. Amos couldn't simply "think about it" forever.

A quick glance at the clock showed that it was almost one in the morning. Codie would be home by now.

"Checkmate."

Amos picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello, Codie...?"

---

Commentary on Checkmate

Throughout the course of this semester I've become rather annoyed by the sheer number of stories with depressing endings. Checkmate is in part an attack on the premise that all short works of fiction that portray the real world must leave off at a depressing moment. To show this, I ended the story at a scene where one can be optimistic as to how it continues.

I didn't want to carve what is intended to happen in stone, however. "And they lived happily ever after" is far too cliché for my tastes. Besides: as an artist, I've come to take a post-modern view of my art works. One of the recurring traits in post-modernism is a lack of closure. The circle is almost drawn, but is left instead as an almost-closed "C," with enough room left for a little ambiguity.

On another note, all the names in this story tell something about the characters. Amos means "bearer of a burden," Codie means "helpful," and Demi is short for Demona, which means "girl of sadness." Codie's statement that Amos and Demi are alike also implies that their names' meanings can be juxtaposed.

There is, of course, much more symbolism thrown in this story, but a one-page commentary can only talk about so much. Almost every action, every included detail, either puts forward a helpful detail or supports a previously mentioned stance.

© 1998 Divine Aesthetics.