| Pieces and Parts | | Date Created: Mar 07, 2007, 04:39 PM |
It's been a little better around here since the last time I wrote. I've been coming down pretty hard on them. If they are playing rough or whining, I send them to their rooms. Not as a time-out; they can play or read books, but they have to be separated and have their doors shut. I think it works pretty well. Sort of like hitting the reset button. We've been able to go outside which makes everything easier. We have a little basketball goal the boys got for Christmas that we just now got around to putting together. It's so funny how these guys respond so differently to every little thing. So, the basketball that came with the goal is bigger than any of the other 5,000 basketballs we have. So it is a constant battle between James and John to see who gets to it first instead of having to use a smaller one. Then whoever gets the smaller one wants me to "pump it up" to make it bigger. Once we finally get shoes and socks on, potties pottied, last-minute poops dealt with, runny noses wiped, balls carried outside (as well as a small petting-zoo's worth of George's animal and his animal hospital kit), garage door opened, and goal dragged out, John really plays basketball. He can catch or pass bounce- and chest-passes. And he can throw it up and get it into the goal a pretty good number of times. He doesn't get sick of trying, that's for sure. James wants to play. But he only likes to dunk, which means I have to lift him up so he can place it in the net. Again and again. Good weight training at least. George engineers a series of cars and toys connected by garden hoses and whatever else he can salvage from the garage and says he's making a path for the balls to roll through. Yesterday after rigging up one such contraption, he went into the garage for a component and came out with a zebra Christmas ornament. He played with the ornament for the next 20 minutes. After basketball got old even for John, they piled up all of the stuff they had pulled from the garage and were "building a house." I know they fight a lot and are so different from one another, but they do enjoy playing together, and it's really pretty cool to watch. It's kind of like when they are having a conversation amongst themselves but they don't know you're listening in. These conversations go something like,
George: "Do you like zebras, John?"
John: "I like zebras AND horses."
James: "I like zebras and horses."
Their favorite made-up word right now is "Kiki." Every animal in this house is named "Kiki." Unless they are one of three particular zebras whose names are "Stripesy." It's not just a proper name, though. It is quite versatile. If no one has said anything in 30 seconds or so, one might exclaim, "Kiki!" Or someone might say, "Leave me alone, George," and the response from George might be, "Kiki!" Or John might lean over the table and say to James, "You are kiki, James!" Earlier George walked downstairs and greeted the rest of us with, "Kiki!" Will and I use it in place of words and phrases, such as, "They are nuts," "They are driving me nuts," or just "Nuts!" "Kiki" we say to each other, followed by grimaces, eye-rolling, or shoulder shrugs.
Speaking of enlightening conversations, the boys and I almost had one this morning. I think God was so proud of how well I was handling this surprise exploratory discussion that he said, "Okay, okay, that's enough for now. Let's stop this right now, boys," because the whole topic was dropped as fast as it was started. We were about to leave for school and John was getting up from his potty that sits in the front hall. As he pulled his pants up all by himself, I said, "Watch out for your boy parts!" because I had accidentally not done a very good job helping James pull up his pants over the weekend which led to some squashed boy parts and legitimate fussing and whining.
"My boy parts are round?" John said.
"Yep," I said.
"Do you have boy parts?" he asked. Suddenly George and James got interested and gathered around.
"No," I said, nonchalantly as possible. "I have girl parts."
"What shapes is they?" John asked.
"Unhhh..." I said until James interrupted--I guess saving the day.
"What color are they?"
"Unhhh, the same color as my skin," I said. They accepted this answer and then they were satisfied and conversation was over.
It is very very important to me to be honest with the guys about everything and to have as open and taboo-less house as possible. That being said, I don't think I need to put any anatomy posters on the wall for educational purposes. But, seriously, I am not into telling the guys "stories" that make life easier to understand only for them to be educated one day in second grade by some only child of bio-chemists or president of the secular humanist society or something. I'll never forget Julianna Edmunds. She was the youngest of three children and had very bright parents and siblings and she knew everything. It was she who first told me the female anatomy is not called the "possible." It is a long embarrassing story why my mother passed on that esoteric term to me, and I don't intend to perpetuate its use. I also don't like telling the boys their favorite team won if they didn't really win. John is already terribly competitive, and I really don't want him to be "that guy" who always cries when his team loses in PE or who loses in four squares because someone else bounced the ball too hard. It's another long story why we actually watched the Daytona 500, but we did and we were pulling for Mark Martin. He was winning the last few laps, and we were cheering and then when he lost, John curled up in a ball on the big chair and cried for about five minutes. Scary! I think part of my job is preparing guys for life without me. Preparing them for winning, losing, for dealing with disappointment, for dealing with things that are scary. I don't think I'm doing them any favors by making up scenarios to cover up anything that might be considered uncomfortable for them. Plus, they have each other to console themselves. How nifty to be able to go to your first cool party completely un-alone. Your first try-out with your anchor team right there with you. The first day of school with two best friends already under your belt? These guys will be fine. I can hear them now, thinking they've got just the right line for the cute girl in class, "So, what shapes is your girl parts?"
Today when I picked up the guys from school, all of the teachers made a big point of saying that all three of the boys had had a "great day" and had used their manners and behaved well. Of course I was thrilled to know, but it begs the question--Are they usually SO bad that when they're good it warrants a comment? Does "great" mean they were extra sweet? Or just that James didn't throw a complete fit when he got a green cup rather than a blue one at snack? Or just that George didn't tackle his brothers? Or that John didn't start screaming when he got a drop of water on his pants? I guess I'll never know. I will let a "great day" comment lie like a sleeping dog.
We are heading to Florida tomorrow afternoon to see my parents, my sister, her husband, and her adorable daughter. My sister is due to have a new baby any day now, so we are hoping it will happen while we are down there! Of course, the guys think it will be a boy since her first one was a girl. I don't know what it will be. Part of me wishes for her sake it's another girl, and part of me wishes it's a boy. I have a friend due Monday who also doesn't know the sex and another friend who is having a girl sometime next week! Babies! Babies! Everyone is catching up with us and I couldn't be happier about it! Even if it makes me the lush of every party with so many sober gals. Actually the pressure of having to talk to them at parties has made me drink a little less so as to appear not quite so incoherent, but when they pop those munchkins out and are ready to celebrate I will be glad to join them!!!
Gotta run. The boys are getting up. Who knows how much baby news I will have the next time I write! Harriette, Becca, and Linda-Marie, I love you and I cannot wait to meet my newest little niece-nephew-friends!
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