| Holiday Hangover | | Date Created: Dec 26, 2006, 04:09 PM |
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What a wonderful Christmas we had. All of the preparations were well worth it. I think it truly was the best Christmas ever for us! It's a very bad idea to tie all of your Christmas dreams and wishes to the happiness and whims of three three-year-old boys, but somehow they came through for me. Getting more presents than anyone could ever imagine probably aided their cause just a little bit. Word on the street had been that after last year's avalanche of toys, Santa and friends would curb the quantity this year. But apparently that was only a rumor. Anyway, we had a wonderful time. We never even had to use the portable DVD player. The closest we got to whining was John asking after opening all of his presents, "What can I do now?" But really they were a lot of fun to be with. Between them and my neice, Elly, we all had plenty of toys to play with. I snuck a few moments playing with one of Elly's adorable little dolls, thinking I'd never have a little girl to play dolls with, but my maudlin thoughts were replaced by panic as an uncoordinated boy in a bumper car T-boned my grandmother's table with an antique tureen and a so-replaceable tea service from Afghanistan on top of it.
To really drill some All-American Maleness into our holiday Will made sure to take the boys outside to toss the football around. Somewhere Johnny had picked up the idea of holding a football for someone to kick. George held it for John and then at the last minute let go, a la Lucy and Charlie Brown. Always the shyster. Once the antics were over John had some good kicks. Then John held it for James, whose kicks were a little less good (but keep in mind John cannot play the harmononica or remember the location of every fast food restaurant within 15 miles). John looked at James and said in a grave tone, "You didn't kick it very far. You are not the best." I wasn't there but when Will told me I was so sad for James. But James, ever the survivor, the one to take a bad situation and manipulate it to his advantage, outwitted us all. "I am not the best!" He shouted with glee. Several times over the weekend. "I losted!" Somehow he managed to put the cool back in loser with his enthusiasm and very high-held head. I salute him for that. I can't say that the grandfathers appreciated his losing attitude as much as Will and I, however. But how can you explain to a perfectly happy three-year-old that winning is the object, not losing, without sounding like a complete asshole. And how do you say, "No, son, you do not want to be the loser! You want to be the BEST!" without setting aside a savings account for future therapy sessions? So, I'll take my little losers and winners and just hope we can get through my lifetime without a constant battle between them. I'm pretty sure one day's winner is the next day's loser.
On Christmas Eve Santa called on the phone! He asked the boys one last time what they wanted.
George: "Bunches of animals. And a zebra. A zebra with stripes!"
James: "An American flag." Yes, you read right, folks.
John: "Knights and pirates. I wuv you, Santa."
Everybody got what they asked for as well as a bunch of other stuff, including the bumper cars and three toy guitars. Will surprised me with a real guitar! The best part about this present was my absolute, 100-percent surprise. I was blown away. What a wonderful present! Since I have committed to this mother-thing, I might as well go all out and be the perfect mother. I already have a corduroy skirt with yarn embroidery and if I keep practicing I will be strumming Puff the Magic Dragon and Baby Beluga in no time. We'll have sing-alongs in cirlces and all the neighborhood kids will join in. I'll grow my hair long and make a sourdough starter. Maybe a vegetable garden in the spring...But really, I am so excited. I love it because it's something I can do here at the house. All I need is me and the guitar. I love it and I love Will for surprising me. He is my best Christmas present ever. This Christmas season marks our 11th year together. That's a lot.
In other perfect mother activity I started the day with good intentions. I got laundry started, put boys on potties, replaced light bulbs. I even put tissue paper in the loops of the big red Christmas bows to preserve their shape for next year. And then I lost interest. I did practice my guitar. And I did manage to put the Shark Tale DVD on for the boys. Besides that, I was basically inert for the rest of the afternoon. When Will instant-messaged that he was coming home early from work I was simultaneously thrilled to see him and panicked because the boys' grilled cheeses from lunch were still on the table, dirty pots and pans were on the counter, and toys and all the plastic they were packaged in were strewn across the floor. It's not as if Will cares about any of this, but I am always hyper-paranoid that if things are totally out of order by the time Will gets home he'll think I've spent the day lying on the sofa watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. As if! It was Law and Order and six sprinkled Christmas cookies.
Speaking of cookies, I have gained a few pounds the last six months. Not enough that my clothes don't fit, but enough that I don't want to wear any of my clothes and feel them touching my skin. Soooo, Will and I both want to eat better and exercise more in the new year (original idea, I know). I don't want to start until after New Year's though because I do want to celebrate. And I've been acting like an alcoholic before she goes into rehab. Six sprinkly cookies? Between commercial breaks?! Shameless binging. Shameful really. There was a day not too long ago when I didn't even keep cookies in the house. What has happened to me? All I want is beer, cake, and coffee. Something to take the stress away for a moment or two, I guess. In some ways it's gotten so much easier with the guys. And I never long for the days when they were confined to infant carriers and just sat there cooing. But I think the emotional toll is a little higher right now. The questions, for example, are a bit tiring. Especially from James who only asks questions to show his own knowledge. And to highlight my wholesome perfect mother meals. Tonight, for example: "Is Moe's near Hardee's" "Yes, James." "Does Hardee's have biscuits?" "Yes, James." "Can you eat AT Papa John's?" "No, James." George likes to ask questions so that he has an excuse to say my name. One day I am going to keep a little hand-counter and count how many times a day he says my name. "Is this a zebra, Momoe?" "Do you have a guitar, Momoe?" "Do you like animals. Momoe?" "Doos (his version of 'does') zebras lives in Africa, Momoe?" "Are lions and raccoons bad, Momoe?" And John asks the I'm-not-ready-for-this-conversation questions. "Was I in your tummy? Did I push out James and Goerge?" "Did you marry Daddy?" "I don't feel better--can I have some medicine?"
The potty training is hardly moving. James will perform when he is put on the potty, but that doesn't keep him from going when he's not. George and John just aren't that interested at all. John's competetive cut-throat nature apparently does not apply to the potty. "I can't do it," he whines. "It's hard to do." And so we put them on the potty AND still have to change them. It's simply a lot of work. It's honestly hard to keep up the enthusiasm and the sheer energy to put them on make them stay there change pull-ups cheer reward encourage console and keep the bathrooms from smelling like the back-alley behind a bar. I keep hoping that they will just decide to go for it one day and that will be the end of it. Please don't disabuse me of my delusion, you wise mothers out there. I need the dream to stay alive!
I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and that Santa brought you everything you wished for or maybe you got the thrill of a surprise. I think this Christmas I got the "real thing." The absolute joy of family and time spent together and more blessings than I can count. I may not be the most perfect mother--but I'm practicing my chords so watch out--but I am by far one of the luckiest. Thank you so much for reading my meandering ideas and inspiring me to keep going day after day so I'll have plenty of stories to tell. I wish you and your families all the best this new year! Need I even say I also want to write more regularly in the new year...which may even be more likely than my giving up my cake-recipe-browsing habit...
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