Quite a shock
New exercise clothes, size WHAT?
Warning: undergarment
discussion.
So, I did my
walking outside yesterday; the two-mile loop that goes by Large High School.
The birds were singing and the sun was shining, and the temperatures were
seriously contemplating 80° F even though it wasn't yet 10 am. And I
thought to myself, "If I make a habit of walking outdoors, I'm going to have one
ugly farmer's tan to show off in Hawaii. Maybe I should get some sleeveless
tops." (A farmer's tan, for my Queen's-English-speaking friends, means you have
tan lines from a short-sleeved shirt. Not pretty with a bathing
suit.)
I don't wear a lot of sleeveless
things. I am 45 and of northern-European ancestry, which means I have upper
arms that one could hang-glide with in an emergency, and I do not feel I should
inflict that sight on the general public unless it's really damn hot outdoors.
Of equal or greater importance is the fact that I am what is referred to as
"short-waisted": the distance from my shoulders to my waist is less than average
for my height. Alas, I am not also small-chested. Most sleeveless tops and
dresses that fit around "the girls" have armholes that are open halfway to my
waistband. I am not into Madonna's fashions and I never was, not even back in
the 80s when she was in to the loose tops that showed her underpinnings, so I
end up just giving up on a lot of sleeveless
clothing.
But there I was in Satan-Mart
yesterday afternoon, trying to find sleeveless athletic t-shirts. I grabbed the
"medium" size in a couple that looked like they had small armholes and went back
to what passes for dressing rooms there. No joy -- the armholes stretched out
alongside the girls. Not only did we have band exposure, we also got a good
look at the cups. Then I had a "d'oh" thought: if these tops are meant to be
clingy anyway, and they're stretchy enough to go around my chest, why not just
try on a size small? They can't look any more ridiculous than this does, and I
don't
have
to buy them.
Blimey, it worked. And with a part
of my brain secretly boggling, I purchased size "small" tops.
Posted: Tue - May 8, 2007 at 08:14 AM
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