I subscribed to Nonsense NYC about four months ago sometime after the flashmob craze alerted me to its existence. It is actually a collection of all sorts of oddball things happening around the city. It has advertised street parties, loft parties, guerilla theater that moves through the streets, strange concerts, and the "Art of Gwar" open house (which sadly, closed tonight). Basically, a fun list. Up until tonight, I have basically avoided taking advantage of its offerings. But at 6:50 pm on December 13, 2003, I managed to take advantage of two events simultaneously.

So, in the words of the email, I present you with Unsilent Night and SantaCon 2003.

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Unsilent Night

Every year since 1992, I've presented Unsilent Night, an outdoor ambient music event for an infinite number of boomboxes. It's like a Christmas carolling party except that we don't sing, but rather carry boom boxes, each playing a separate tape or CD that is part of the piece. In effect, we become a city block-long stereo system.

It would be really cool if you could join us and bring a boom box. The more tapes we run, the bigger and more amazing the sound will be. Last year we've had over 100 boomboxes and over 500 people total, not to mention a really great time. This year I will also make cd dubs for folks who bring CD boomboxes, and if you want to play one of those it is especially important that you let me know. If you'd
like to do it but don't have a boombox, I have several dozen and you can reserve one, and if you want to come and just listen, that's cool, too. Help us make a big (and joyful) noise. Meet at the Arch in Washington Square 6:45p; $free

Santacon

A not-for-profit, nonpolitical, non-religious demented Santa Clause convention. We do it for no reason. SantaCon happens in major cities all over the world.

This year, Santas will busting out some new tricks, so hold onto your hats and let it ride, cause there's snow on the ground already. We may visit some of the traditional Santa haunts. Expect to start in the morning, around 11a. A hotline number will also be available if you want to try to catch up with the Santas in mid rampage. Santa highly recommends spending the whole day until at midnight you are delirious and exhausted and you are shouting at strangers or mumbling to yourself and the whole thing gets blurry and you wake up the next day in Tijuana. This tradition is almost a decade old, and makes flash mobs look like sitting at home watching Martha Stewart. Definitely bring some money and ID. It's not uncommon for a spontaneous chant of "Santa Needs a Beer!" to initiate a bar invasion. Other times, Santa needs sophisticated adult entertainment. Also, a bottle of water and some snacks is a good idea; so are comfortable boots and warm clothing.

Bring your holiday spirit as you understand it, which is to say Santas are encouraged to let loose, be obnoxious, make a mockery of the holiday, or act in a confusing and disorienting manner to holiday shoppers. Be surly. Yell. Sing naughty carols. Experiment with interpretive dance in front of traffic. Bring gifts you can give out, naughty for grown ups, nice for kids. You must wear a Santa suit to get on this train. No spectators. A Santa hat will not cut it. You can buy a cheap suit at Gem stores for $10.
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So both groups met at Washington Square park at 6:45 pm. The Santas had been making a day of their SantaCon. (If I find pictures later this month, I'll post one or two with a link to whatever brave soul took them and was willing to admit he was there.) The Unsilent Night crowd appeared to be a little bit older. There was one couple that must have been in their fifties. It took me aback to think that people my parents' ages would be as nerdy as me. So while the santas has been showing up at various places together all day, I and the Unsilent Night people showed up at 6:50 having never seen each other. Probably for the best, we were not the most attractive bunch. Long term contact probably would have hurt everyone's self-esteem. My walk over was pleasant enough, having seen random Santas wandering the village, confirming that they obviously worked with a hive mentality. Basically, if I had a borg joke, this is where I would make it. The wind was angry tonight my friend, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli. I stood around with my hood pulled tightly around my head, realizing that it was probably for the best that I hadn't forced anyone to come with me nor forced myself to purchase a boom-box or santa costume. I really liked the picture I had seen advertising this SantaCon though.



The two groups were not standing next to each other. The Santas had already bonded during the day. My research had indicated that last year's SantaCon had involved trips to most landmarks around the city AND had involved a Uptown vs. Downtown Dodge-ball game.

Anyway, the tapes were distributed to the noise people and everyone did a lap around the fountain. The music was crystal-esque and slight variations on ambient noise. No words or anything. There were people moving through the crowd with hi-tech recording devices, so if I ever find an audio file, you will be the first to know and possible have fun experiencing a strange mix of music and "ho ho ho's" Okay, so we wandered around. It was interesting. People acted crazy, other people stared at the antics.

I would estimate that our pack was about two city streets long at its peak. There were probably 75 boomboxes, 200 people like me with nothing, and 180 Santas. I tried to count the Santas at one point, but stopped around 90 when I realized that I didn't really want to know. So, in conclusion, I walked around and then went to McDonalds after the two groups split up. The SantaCon people wanted to go into a bar, the Unsilent Night people kept walking around with their music. I needed dinner and to get back to reading about corporations. I just thought you'd like to know about this.

Next year I will either purchase a boombox or a santa suit. Probably the boombox, I don't have the time commitment for the Santa Day.