Hurt

It's mysterious stuff art. It really makes no sense that this:

"i hurt myself today to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away but i remember everything

what have i become? my sweetest friend
everyone i know goes away in the end
you could have it all my empire of dirt
i will let you down i will make you hurt

i wear this crown of shit upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts i cannot repair
beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear
you are someone else i am still right here

what have i become? my sweetest friend
everyone i know goes away in the end
and you could have it all my empire of dirt
i will let you down i will make you hurt

if i could start again a million miles away
i would keep myself i would find a way"

should resonant with me, but it does. The line, "What have i become? my sweeatest friend, everyone i know goes away in the end" bares very little relation to anything in my life, but it makes my hair stand on end. Literally. Perhaps it's a message from myself. The question is, what am i trying to tell me? I've had to internalise a lot of contradictions recently. Without doubt, not healthy.

"What have i become?"

As masumi told me recently, i'm like a confused teenager. Next week / next month / next year, i'll be having a nervous breakdown. Something to look forward to.