Clippers

I've just shaved off 4 to 6 weeks of beard with a safety razor. An experience that will come in handy if i have to shear a sheep with a rusty butter knife, in the dark, wearing mittens, whilst drunk.

On the subject of which, I used to own a pair of clipper that would have been useful today. The only problem with owning them was that periodically i'd get drunk and buzz all my hair off... Not good.

I'd probably freeze to death.