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Published On: Oct 15, 2007 10:22 PM
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Published On: Oct 15, 2007 10:22 PM
Afraid of the Dark? ME?
The power has gone
out.
I am lying on the couch by candlelight, tapping away on my laptop. When the power went out I was playing Kingdom of Loathing, selling off some excess inventory, and suddenly everything became very quiet and, outside the glow of my laptop screen, very dark.
For one perfectly terrifying instant, I was 9 years old, in a suddenly darkened room, surrounded by monsters. It didn't last, though. It's October; things are supposed to be scary!
It's still a little spooky in here, to tell the truth. Nothing like the paralyzing fears of childhood, though. Occasionally, I (and I assume most adults) still have that jittery certainty, when walking down a darkened hall, that someone or something is behind us, reaching out to grab us...
... and as I used the glow from my laptop to search for my lantern, that certainty was there, only a little more uncertain than usual.
For the most part, as we grow older, our fears mature and get boring. There's not so much room anymore for being afraid of the boogeyman or monsters under the bed when one spends sleepless nights wondering how they will be able to afford to pay the bills, or to buy food. Invasions of giant insects pale in comparison when one is hyped full of (nearly as irrational) fear of an invasion of terrorists.
When I was a child, the drapes over the window in my room had some kind of dark forest print, with light areas as well. As passing car headlights would illuminate it, a shifting mural of spooky designs would be created... witches and demons, living trees, and horrible birds. I would watch for hours with a sense of delicious fear, but it was an academic fear, rather than a legitimate concern of things crawling out of the window treatment.
Fear can be great FUN, at least that kind. It's something we tend to overlook as adults, as our fears become more concrete. I can tell you from my own experience that there's nothing fun at all about the fear involved in a rocket attack... wait, that's not true. I can right off think of two times when I got the not-completely-hysterical giggles during rocket attacks in Kuwait in 2003. I remember mortar attacks in Tikrit Iraq where we would go out on our balcony and applaud them like fireworks (since we were really no more likely to be hit standing outside than in front of the enormous windows of our office), shouting out things like "Ooh, that's my favorite!" to the insurgents and the night.
I find myself recalling the most horrifying things I have ever read. There's a passage in a Dean Koontz novel that comes to mind -- it's one of the Christopher Snow ones, and he's exploring, if I recall correctly, mysterious tunnels beneath an possibly abandoned military base. In the absolute darkness, he becomes irrationally convinced that there is someone standing directly in front of him and, not really believing it, attempts to dispel that phantom by reaching out with one hand, only to feel (of course) the face of someone standing directly in front of him. The buildup of suspense and description was so perfect that it still gives me chills to remember reading that.
Anyway, with the local festival of Halloween coming up, what are some of your fears? Go on, share them. I just shared mine with you.... and one last fear. I think my laptop battery is getting weak. I'll post this when the lights come on! If you're reading this, then obviously that has happened (or you got your hot little hands on my laptop and password). Provide some comment spam with your own irrational or rational fears.
I am lying on the couch by candlelight, tapping away on my laptop. When the power went out I was playing Kingdom of Loathing, selling off some excess inventory, and suddenly everything became very quiet and, outside the glow of my laptop screen, very dark.
For one perfectly terrifying instant, I was 9 years old, in a suddenly darkened room, surrounded by monsters. It didn't last, though. It's October; things are supposed to be scary!
It's still a little spooky in here, to tell the truth. Nothing like the paralyzing fears of childhood, though. Occasionally, I (and I assume most adults) still have that jittery certainty, when walking down a darkened hall, that someone or something is behind us, reaching out to grab us...
... and as I used the glow from my laptop to search for my lantern, that certainty was there, only a little more uncertain than usual.
For the most part, as we grow older, our fears mature and get boring. There's not so much room anymore for being afraid of the boogeyman or monsters under the bed when one spends sleepless nights wondering how they will be able to afford to pay the bills, or to buy food. Invasions of giant insects pale in comparison when one is hyped full of (nearly as irrational) fear of an invasion of terrorists.
When I was a child, the drapes over the window in my room had some kind of dark forest print, with light areas as well. As passing car headlights would illuminate it, a shifting mural of spooky designs would be created... witches and demons, living trees, and horrible birds. I would watch for hours with a sense of delicious fear, but it was an academic fear, rather than a legitimate concern of things crawling out of the window treatment.
Fear can be great FUN, at least that kind. It's something we tend to overlook as adults, as our fears become more concrete. I can tell you from my own experience that there's nothing fun at all about the fear involved in a rocket attack... wait, that's not true. I can right off think of two times when I got the not-completely-hysterical giggles during rocket attacks in Kuwait in 2003. I remember mortar attacks in Tikrit Iraq where we would go out on our balcony and applaud them like fireworks (since we were really no more likely to be hit standing outside than in front of the enormous windows of our office), shouting out things like "Ooh, that's my favorite!" to the insurgents and the night.
I find myself recalling the most horrifying things I have ever read. There's a passage in a Dean Koontz novel that comes to mind -- it's one of the Christopher Snow ones, and he's exploring, if I recall correctly, mysterious tunnels beneath an possibly abandoned military base. In the absolute darkness, he becomes irrationally convinced that there is someone standing directly in front of him and, not really believing it, attempts to dispel that phantom by reaching out with one hand, only to feel (of course) the face of someone standing directly in front of him. The buildup of suspense and description was so perfect that it still gives me chills to remember reading that.
Anyway, with the local festival of Halloween coming up, what are some of your fears? Go on, share them. I just shared mine with you.... and one last fear. I think my laptop battery is getting weak. I'll post this when the lights come on! If you're reading this, then obviously that has happened (or you got your hot little hands on my laptop and password). Provide some comment spam with your own irrational or rational fears.
Posted: Mon - October 15, 2007 at 09:21 PM |
