I'm not very good at it. At
times I think about how I'd probably never dare to speak it to an Icelander,
because they'd probably just laugh at my inability to trill my r's, or my
difficulty at pronouncing letters and sounds that don't exist in English. But
I'm trying. I have a book and CD set that I ordered, and I have a computer
program on the way. It's very slow going, but I really want to
learn.
I also have books piling up that
I need to read. Books that I now have on hand that I haven't read include H.R.
Ellis Davidson's Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe, William Ian Miller's
Bloodtaking and Peacemaking, Jon Hnefill Athalsteinsson's A Piece of
Horse Liver, and Kathleen Herbert's Looking for the Lost Gods of
England. I'm so far behind on where I think I should be with my studies
that I'm wondering if I've suddenly been struck stupid.
People who go to school are amazing,
and they don't even realize it. Schoolkids absorb an incredible amount of
information everyday. College students do the same, although possibly to a
lesser extent. The sheer act of learning on a schedule just seems to me such an
impossible feat at the moment. I am in awe of and humbled by my friends who are
continuing their education in a formal environment.
I have a goal, though, and I'm working
to achieve it. This fall I'm attending a Scandinavian history conference in
England. I hope to be able to greet the Icelandic presenters in Icelandic, and
to come across as a learned individual in terms of the history and Lore. I want
to be able to understand and discuss the lectures and the information given.
It's a tall order, and it's not a well-planned goal. There's no point at which
I have a definite signpost that says "You're here! You did it!" It's a
self-improvement goal -- to learn as much as possible and advance as far as
possible by a set date.
I just hope
that when that date comes, I can look on my accomplishments and see something
other than failure. I guess that's also a statement about the way I live my
life.