Many Mini-Meltdowns
I have a new
job.
Not yet, really, but I have
accepted a new position within the same organization. It's definitely a step
up. I saw the job posting, applied, was interviewed, and, to my own surprise,
was offered the job. I didn't really... well, at first I was positive I would
get it. I could picture it very clearly -- you know that feeling, when you know
something will happen because you can visualize it perfectly? It was like that.
Then I had the interview, and convinced myself it was a terrible interview, so I
was actually surprised when they offered me the job. Although surprising, it
was normal. Just another job; just another move, this time to Washington
DC...
Then I began to freak
out.
I was already planning on just
loading up the Jeep, driving to DC and getting a furnished tiny apartment. I
still am. That's not freaky. What keeps freaking me out is the streams of
emails coming in from those tasked to help me with my move. Would I like help
selling my house in Kentucky? (What house?) How about help purchasing a home
in DC? (WTF?) To what address should the movers come to pack up my household
goods (What household goods? What address?)
I know it sounds like all these are
just a matter of saying, "No thanks, I don't need help in that area." Of course
it is. It's not that. It's just that the level of assistance that I'm being
offered suggests to me, much more than the job title or job description, that
this is a VERY IMPORTANT POSITION. And that's what's giving me
mini-meltdowns.
I'll just be be-bopping
along, behaving perfectly normal, when what almost feels like an anxiety attack
wells up, and I can't think about anything but this upcoming thing. All other
thoughts are driven out of my head, and I start saying (sometimes just to
myself, and sometimes out loud), "Breathe. Walk. Breathe.
Walk."
I'll be fine, really. I'm
excited. I'm stoked. And I'm changing my life to a serious degree. A little
bit of meltdown is to be
expected.
Right?
Posted: Sat
- May 10, 2008 at 01:15 PM
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