Author's Note: This originally started as a blog entry, and is slightly more personal in nature. It is also the first essay I am posting here that has no direct relationship to Neopaganism. Some of this may seem to be stereotyping women--such is not my intent (rather the exact opposite)--but it is something of a cultural comment on something that I've observed in today's society in the United States.
I don't think that they're attractive.
I could only stare at my mother in amazement. Sure, neither of them were going to be winning beauty contests--at least not without a shower and some clean clothes--but they both were in their twenties, athletic, fit, and they both radiated a glow of dedication and determination. They were competing for a spot in a Women's Tennis Championship and were tired from a prolonged game (that had obviously lasted a lot longer than either of them had planned), sweating, and just trying to focus through the next set, but you could still see the elegance, drive, and power in how they moved.
My sister is much the same, reserving her more caustic opinions for how women look, rather than how men appear in movies or posters. Yet my sister is a feminazi! A crusader against the mere hint of exploitation of women who boycotts companies that use women in wet t-shirts!
They both have commented repeatedly on the degradation of the image of the female body in society and both have talked about how its a shame that we don't see more women in sports. This isn't even limited to my kin: I've heard it again and again from a variety of people..
I don't get it.
Many years ago I heard that women do not dress to please men, they dress to impress other women. Every year I realize that there is more to this than I had originally thought--women set their standards of beauty far higher than most men do. I wouldn't care if a woman wore the same dress twice--it looked nice on her the first time, chances are good it will look nice on her the second time and I won't even notice beyond oh, it's that dress I like,
yet it is the other women who seem to have an instinct for this kind of thing.
I've heard my mother talk about the trouble with women today starving themselves and having a poor self-image, yet she made a comment about an ex-girlfriend's weight (who looked fine and had an hourglass shape) as if she had a serious weight problem.
Almost every woman I run into has self image problems of some sort. There are notable exceptions and I'm not talking about dieting feel better about a swimsuit
or someone who wants to lose 10 (vanity) lbs
--both of which I understand, but rather that most women in the United States seem to have a fundamental image problem with how they view themselves.
I postulate, as the conclusion to me rambling there, that how this is ingrained from birth onward by society has very little to do with the exploitation of women
for the benefit of men and everything to do with the criticism of other women. I firmly believe that Cosmopolitan does far more damage on this front with every issue than the wet t-shirts do in truck commercials.
Please do not think that you have to look anorexic or strung out to be attractive to guys and remember that things like intelligence, determination, and force of personality will matter more and make you more attractive than any amount of makeup or hair product will.
...and if I say that you're beautiful, I'm right.
Originally Written: 10 November 2003, Added: 27 March 2005.
Updated: 27 March 2005.
Copyright © 2003, 2005 David Hartwell Clements, All Rights Reserved.