Sat - March 10, 2007

Bad Omen

We've been all excited about the new Mexican restaurant called "El Charro" that's moving into a nearby plaza...

As you know, Radford doesn't have the best reputation for restaurants--in food or service--so you can't blame us for hoping something more exciting than the new Applebee's might come in.

The name translates roughly to "cowboy" and these new owners do seem to have that level of dedication. They've been fighting to keep their vinyl roadside signs up in the 40+ mph winds we've had lately. Up, down, up, down. But finally, to our relief, they put a permanent sign up on the building:



Uh oh. Is it just us or does that font make it look like "El Crappo"?

UPDATE: We finally got around to visiting "El Crappo" tonight and are happy to report it does not live, er, down to it's name. They don't have their ABC license yet (so no birthday margarita for John) but the service was decent (for this area) and the food was pretty good too... especially, the sopapilla with ice cream! Decor-wise, they may have some issues with the faux marble linoleum "blocks" on the wall, but somebody gets serious effort points for the 2-per-booth engraved wood El Charro signs. And fortunately they used a different lettering style from that on the building sign.

Posted at 01:37 PM     |

Mon - February 26, 2007

Impersonating Veruca Salt

Those of you who know me might remember that I've always wanted a bunny. Well I still do, only now I want a giant bunny.

Meet Herman, a 17 lb. bunny whose picture was apparently passed around on the Internet about a year ago (for reasons I understand--how cute are his feet? Try carrying your keys on that!)

Around that same time, another German breeder won the title for largest bunny with Robert--weighing almost 20 pounds:



Well now the N. Koreans are after these cuties--for eating, of all things. (Could NPR be any more graphic about that, by the way?) And although the breeder has agreed, he's definitely not a capitalist and claims he won't be increasing production to sell to the Chinese or anyone else. Oh well. I guess since he won't sell them, I'll just have to kidnap them.

Come here, bunny bunny... let me schmoop you!

Posted at 10:16 PM     |

Tue - February 6, 2007

I'm a Celebrity Lookalike

Haven't you always wondered who would play you in the movie version of your life? Well, now I have some choices.

Janeane Garofalo was too easy because of the glasses, and I had no idea who Chester Bennington was, but was pleased to find out I actually like him (one of Linkin Park's lead singers). But the other three totally crack me up. Is it just because they're smiling?!

Anyway, to find out what celebrities should play you, find the Face Recognition demo at MyHeritage.com and upload a picture. (Unfortunately, Mac users, Safari isn't compatible, but the error message says they're working on it.) Let me know who you most resemble!

Posted at 08:30 AM     |

Thu - January 18, 2007

Mon - January 8, 2007

Your Skin Flies Off and the Teardrops Flow

Anyone remember Boom Crash Opera? How about a time when satire was kept separate from news?

We've known for a while now that the The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report have become the news sources of choice for our generation...

But since when do CNN.com readers need a weekly fix of The Onion? Evidently since back in September when the site started syndicating it, with this yarn about a publishing intern. Despite all the disclaimers on the pages, I can't wait to find out how many idiots think stories like Barney visiting the troops are real.

Interestingly, at the end of this 2003 article, management of the Onion decided they didn't want to sign a deal with Jay Leno. Wonder what changed their minds this time?

Posted at 10:32 PM     |

Mon - June 19, 2006

Pizza House of Horrors

"Cigarette cigarette
Burning up time
Cigarette cigarette
Watch the smoke climb
Cigarette cigarette
Wastin' away
Just like this cigarette"
~Smithereens, "Cigarette"

So we've been talking about going to this pizza place down the street ever since I moved here over 8 months ago and we finally decided to walk down last night. A friend of ours had warned us away but I didn't really know why--it looks sorta cute and retro from the outside. Well we walk in and realize it's not so much retro as... old. Underneath the counter where you place your order there's a sign that says, "Celebrating 35 years!" with thanks to customers from Pooney & Susie. (Not sure we want to know where that nickname came from.)

We look up at the "menu" sign and discover they have a limited selection of toppings, 6 in fact (to be fair that doesn't include cheese or sauce). And you can order a small, medium or large--admittedly, the least expensive in town, but that's the extent of what they offer. The name really says it all: Pizza and House. Beverages can be purchased from the vending machine for 50 cents, but there are no sides of any kind, and come to find out, no plates either--you eat with your hands and the napkins provided at the tables. (The exact opposite of NC restaurant with the reassuring title, Farmhouse Pizza & Plates.)

One thing you can get a lot of there, however, is second-hand smoke. The two parties already seated when we arrived were enjoying their smokes and the older woman working the oven (not sure if it was Susie or Pooney) lit no fewer than five cigarettes during our forty minute stay. According to the health inspectors, she's been doing this for quite some time. It's comforting that she does now walk around to the end of the bar for this activity--in between coughing fits--but she did not wash her hands or wear gloves of any kind as recommended. (Incidentally, if you'd like to choose smoke-free restaurants in the area, this list is helpful.)

We couldn't resist staying a little longer than necessary, if for no reason other than to study the cast of clientele characters. And they did a fairly brisk take-out business (those trying to save their lungs, I suppose) but we honestly have no idea how they've remained viable for 35 years. There were strange ropes attached to the wrought iron railings, which apparently kept them from collapsing. One side of the seating area had booths that resembled those from a pharmacy diner, but there are no other artifacts or decorations in sight.

I got excited when I saw the jukebox around the corner but it contained five pages of mainly country music CDs and the rest was empty--ironically, our punishment for not choosing something was that we got to hear Jewel sing "Who Will Save Your Soul?" every 15 minutes until somebody played George Jones. At that point I turned and asked Tim if we'd died and gone to hell.

I convinced him we needed leave (before we had cancer) but first managed to skim a laminated Roanoke Times article revealing the place had once had a black light room complete with Jimi Hendrix poster and other psychedelic paraphenalia, but people kept stealing the decor (including the lightbulbs). I can understand why they'd scale back a little, but--call me a snob--sometime after year 30 I might have invested in a soda fountain or paper plates.

Posted at 08:57 PM     |

Sun - June 11, 2006

Totally Toasted

"Like a virgin, hey!
touched for the very first time"
~"Like a Virgin," Madonna

Yes, it has been a long time, and I have many amazing tales to tell. However, in an effort to get back into the groove quickly, I'm only going to say that I had a wonderful 31st birthday--complete with an awesome 80's party... Check me out in my Madonna circa 1984 outfit!

I also must say that my friend Sara once again gets the award for Most Bizarre Present. Among other wonderful gifts, I received a Holy Toast! Miracle Bread Stamper. So now I can enjoy the image of Jesus' Mom on my bread, just like the Florida woman who sold her 10-year-old Virgin Mary grilled cheese on eBay for $28,000 (photo above).

If you'd like some virtual celebrity toast as well, you can live vicariously at CoolToast.com and see visions of Oprah, President Bush or even Natalie Portman on your breakfast breads. At least one of the Madonnas approve!

Posted at 10:38 PM     |

Wed - March 22, 2006

Totally Unnecessary Purchase

"It’s the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane...
And he also made false teeth"
~The Avalanches, "Frontier Psychiatrist"

Last December when we took a trip to Abingdon to take in a couple shows at the Barter Theatre, we stopped by a few of the antique shops as well. It was there that I discovered a little ceramic dish shaped like an old man with the label "Chopper Hopper" on the front. It took a second to register exactly what it was for, but when it did, I wanted to buy it for someone immediately--thinking how unfortunate that none of the people I know who actually have false teeth would appreciate its humor... So I passed it by thinking it too expensive, but thought of it fondly many times since, regretting having left it behind.

So when we were browsing the antiques in Floyd and stumbled upon the "Hers" Chopper Hopper, I simply couldn't resist. True, I have no idea what to do with it, other than maybe put jewelry in it--I suppose I could use it to hold my mouth guard and actually wear it to stop grinding my teeth... But most likely I'll just admire it until I have a chance to go back to Abingdon in search of her husband!

Posted at 07:03 AM     |

Thu - January 26, 2006

Vulture Culture

"And on a dark, cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky..."
~Danny Elfman, "Nightmare Before Christmas: Town Meeting Song"

The day after Christmas, we moved into a new townhouse. It was a happy day, and our dear friends Eliott & Dave were helping us despite the bitter cold temperature outside. When our friend Theresa came over to lend a hand, she walked in the door saying, "What is up with all the vultures swarming overhead? It's kind of creeping me out, like I'm in a Hitchcock movie. "

We found it slightly bizarre, but didn't think a whole lot of it--until a few weeks later when they didn't seem to be going away. There are always at least 15-20 circling whenever you look up. This morning getting into the car I pointed out one that looked like it was flying really low and Tim said, "It's probably just huge. Did you know they can grow to have a wingspan of over 5 feet?"

We conjectured some more about why they were always around and this sparked my curiosity enough to ask a coworker who lives on our side of town if she knew the scoop. All I had to say was, "Speaking of birds..." and she was like, "Vultures?"

Evidently, a few years ago the carrion-eaters suddenly appeared en masse in the sky and roosted on the west side. The townsfolk were all in a tizzy. People were shooting 'em and cutting down trees to make them leave, and the environmentalists came out to protest... There were even articles about it in the NYTimes and other national newspapers. No one really knew why they had chosen this place--urban sprawl and land clearing are cited among the possibilities--but Virginia is now known for having the second largest vulture population in the East, with a major portion of them living right here in Radford.

Apparently, they leave again in March, but residents hate them because they generally smell like death, attack small animals, and even destroy property... and just plain freak them out. In some instances causing psychic damage. "They have shown up everywhere from cemetary gravestones to doctor office and hospital room window sills creating seeming ominous omens." Now that's Hitchcock at his finest.

Posted at 08:44 PM     |

Tue - January 17, 2006

Benny Had a Little Lamb

Although he's associated more with the city of Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin was born 300 years ago today in Boston, MA. I've always wanted to read his Autobiography which is said to have inspired Stephen Covey of 7 Habits fame. The FranklinCovey planner method is taken in part from Franklin's habit of focusing on one of 13 virtues each week.

Everybody knows about the electricity/kite thing, but I just saw a television news piece about his invention of the Glass Armonica , which is essentially a bunch of glass bowls on a spindle. The spot was about a glass musician near Amherst, Mass. where Tim & I visited last weekend. Tangentially, while I was there I went to dinner at the historic home of these lovely people, and accidentally ate lamb without knowing what it was. I felt terribly sick afterward, whether from the meat or guilt I'm not sure... Tim just kept singing "Taryn had a little lamb" while I was moaning and thinking about little Lisa Simpson and the lambchop that said "Liiiisaaa, don't eat meeee" in its little baaa voice.




Our friend Ben must have had similar leanings, because at the age of 16 he became a vegetarian. He may have done it to save money for buying books, but I understand that sentiment as well--I've been on another book buying binge lately (list to follow). Happy 300th, Ben!

Posted at 06:46 AM     |

Mon - October 17, 2005

Welcome, Demi-Gourd!

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
~Oscar Wilde

Tis the season, people. Personally, I celebrate Halloween throughout the month of October (who am I kidding, I celebrate it all year!) but I knew the rest of the world was catching up today because I heard a jazz version of the Addams Family theme and other spooky tunes playing on the Sounds of the Seasons Music Choice channel...

Soon it will be time for all of us to watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown once more--and nearly spew our candy corn when we realize the animated classic will turn 40 next year. Whether you sympathize with Charlie Brown as he collects rocks instead of treats, with Linus experiencing yet another disappointing year in the pumpkin patch, or with Sally in her love-blind gullibility, the legend of the Great Pumpkin continues on.

Here are a few pumpkin-royalty related links:
5. Strangest attempt to get to the bottom of how the Great Pumpkin judges the sincerity of a pumpkin patch.
4. Here's an easy quiz you can probably score 100% on even if you haven't watched it in years.
3. Or a more difficult quiz for those who've seen it 10,000 times or decide it's worth a rewatch.
2. An extensive list of other unseen characters.
1. Leave it to the Pagans to take pumpkin carols seriously!

Posted at 02:28 PM     |

Sat - July 16, 2005

The Visitation

"Love will heal the wings of a butterfly on a wheel..."
~The Mission (UK), "Butterfly on a Wheel"

It's Gay Pride week here in Rochester, and in the garden, my timely Liatris (AKA Gayfeather) have just started to bloom in support.

It said on the package of seeds that this variety attracts butterflies, but I saw the first one of the season this morning as I was headed to the gym. I ran back inside to get my digital camera and when I discovered the batteries were dead, I grabbed ye olde Polaroid and managed to capture it (albeit blurrily).

Sadly, after seeing A Bug's Life, whenever I see a butterfly now I think of chubby Heimlich sprouting his tiny wings and squealing, "I'm a beautiful butterfly!"

Posted at 10:48 PM     |

Fri - July 15, 2005

Everything's Not Lost (I Hope)

"Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet"

~The Police, "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"

MISSING: Favorite Umbrella
Last seen: June 29, 2005 after lunch
Description: Black with smiling white skulls and a handle that answer to the name of Jack Skellington;
not quite long enough to use as a cane when closed
History: Bought for $7 on clearance; is now selling on eBay for $22+

Umbrellas are usually easy-come, easy go, but I haven't missed an umbrella this bad since I lost the one I had as a kid. It was red with white polka-dots and a plastic red duckie head for a handle. I thought I'd get over losing my bargain Nightmare Before Christmas one, but I'm so bummed I'd almost rather walk in the pouring rain than use one of the other boring ones I own.

Is it worth paying 3 times what I paid plus shipping to replace it? Hard to say. There's always LostAndFound.com, but what kind of person reports found skull umbrellas? I'm Protestant but I'm told I I could consider praying to St. Jude...

Posted at 06:40 PM     |

Wed - July 6, 2005

It's a Small World

"I've got a miniature secret camera..."
~Peter Murphy

There's something about tiny things that people are drawn to, maybe even obsessed with: puppies, doll house accessories, the Mini Cooper and VW Beetle... I fall prey to it too.

But I gotta admit, when the iPod Shuffle came out, I wondered how much smaller our electronics could get. That's why this spoof ad from a Mac Design conference just about made me snort my Diet Dr. Pepper through my nose. So put your drink down, and enjoy!

Posted at 08:56 AM     |

Wed - June 22, 2005

Tapped by Contagious Blogorrhea

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it look as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday"
~Beatles, "Yesterday"

[Most Recorded Song in Guinness Book
with 1,600 cover versions counted in 1986]

It may come as a shock to some, but sometimes I'm a joiner. This is one of those times.

Everyone is blogging about the giant 17 1/2 ton Snapple popsicle that was supposed to break a Guinness Record accidentally melted in Union Square yesterday, flooding the city with slick Strawberry-Kiwi goo... That's because it's Damn Funny. I live Upstate and don't really even like New York City--or maybe that's why I think it's funny.

Speaking of Guinness World Records, my trumpet-playing sister recently participated in Echo Taps, an attempt to get a Guinness mention for "longest distance playing a single piece of music." Over 800 horn players connected the Elmira and Bath National Cemeteries by playing Taps continuously over the 42+ miles in between. (My sis was in the US Navy Band for 10 years and now serves in the Governor's Band of the Army National Guard while getting her Masters in Music Performance from SUNY Fredonia.)

Coincidentally, the song Taps was written by Oliver Willcox Norton, a major funder for Chautauqua Institution where I worked at the newspaper for a couple summers. It's also the title of a movie I liked when I was little that starred Timothy Hutton, Sean Penn, and Tom Cruise. And just to bring things full circle, Tom Cruise has also participated in a Guinness Record--no, not for biggest age difference in a Hollywood marriage--but for the longest constant film shoot in Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut (46 weeks straight). Don't worry, I'm sure they had a lot of Snapple backstage to keep him hydrated.

Posted at 01:25 AM     |