Cady Chase

The End

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-04-21T20:38:41-07:00

Or so it seems. Not the end completely, but rather the end of Chapter 2 of our journey, technically completed as we finished our first year home with Cady. As is our tradition, it's time to start a brand new chapter, and I have chosen to do it just a bit differently this time.

No longer are we just on the Cady Chase, though not a day goes by that we don't end up running to, from, or for Cady. Now we start working more as a full fledged family, with another on the way. Our work continues for Melody, and we certainly don't want anyone (there are some of you out there yet, right?) to miss out on updates.

So now begins Chapter 3, Chasing Melody, on an all new site. Feel free to visit To Sing, and to Dance (or to make it easier to remember, www.todanceandsing.com) as often as you like. We even have new pictures up from Easter that I have just gotten around to actually putting up.

As always, thanks for staying tuned.

Ordered chaos

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-04-19T22:58:08-07:00

First, let me start off with a few pictures that are way overdue.

Cady had a sweet Easter. Scott held a stuffed bunny in the bay window, in the front yard, and knocked on the window as he crouched. Of course, Cady assumed it was the EB incarnate! She was so excited to see the Easter Bunny that, when he 'hopped' into the front yard bushes, she became a bit anxious and yelled out for him to come back. That soon turned to pure joy when we ventured outside to see that he had left her with Easter goodies. Candies, a few good books, and baby carrots (Hey, she likes them. Why ruin a good thing?)

We then ventured to our new home. It was a walk that took us only 6 doors down. We finally bought our first home, and it's 6 houses away from where we were before. This house was a God send, of that I'm sure. But it might as well have been 60 miles down the road. In fact, the move might have been easier on us.
With only 6 doors down, it's easy to fool oneself into believing that you always have time to pack. After all, you can just take the items in your car, or by foot in the kid's wagon, and eventually you'll get it all moved in. Well, let me emphesize the word eventually. Two moving days, fifteen car loads, two Uhaul truck trips, twenty-five + walking trips, one trip to the dump, four good friends and one son's help later and we are all moved in. Oh, and by the way......You probably should not assume that large black garbage bags are good for hauling items to save the expense of purchasing more boxes. You will NEVER find the one item that you know is in one of those bags when you need it the most.
We were going to move two weeks earlier, but came across a few snags. Have you ever lived out of boxes (and big black garbage bags) for two weeks? In any event, we are now in our new home, and it all worked out for the best. We got an excellent loan, and a very good price on the house.
The neighbors are all wonderful. We've met three of them already while we were unpacking. Oddly, around the corner, and six doors down, we only really knew one neighbor family and the lady across the street. Strange how on this street (just around the corner) people seem to be in a different neighborhood. Perhaps it's because the woman that used to live here seemed so well loved by them. Or perhaps it's just a different set of people around the corner. Whatever it is, we feel very blessed to be here and to be in our new home. And one that's finally ours.

Cady is now in dance classes at preschool. She thoroughly enjoys it. And although she is among the youngest in the class, she seems to follow along enough for the dance teacher to want her to perform with the older children.

Here's a preview of the routine they're working on for a recitle they'll perform on Saturday.

Break time?

This is bound to be an interesting (but damn cute) event.

It's official

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-03-27T13:30:17-07:00

We are officially waiting parents for our second daughter. We received a phone call today from our agency that our documents were all translated and authenticated, and were FedExd to China yesterday, or in adoption terms, we are DTC (documents to China) as of March 26th. That's Scott's mother's birthday too.
The estimated wait time is longer than just a year ago when we received Cady. Our wait time to find out information about her was 9 months. Now the expected wait time is 18-24 months. It's a much longer wait than before. Some officials are stating that the longer wait times are due to promoting domestic adoptions within China. That leaves the rest of us waiting longer, but that's really of little concern, when you realize that it also means that more children are finding homes.
Some people think that the child you get is a random act. But I don't. I believe that we have a choice to have the child or not. But, when we decide to, the match is made by a much higher power than CCAA (the agency within China that matches children to families). I simply cannot imagine Cady being a child other than who she is. So, when Cady is four years old, her baby sister will probably be one year old. The wait time for us seems fine. It gives us some extra time to spend with Cady being the only child in the house.

Oh by the way, her sister's name is going to be Melody.

Happy Gotcha Day, Cadence

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-03-24T16:23:06-07:00

So it's been quite some time since our last update. Truth as it is, life continues, and I don't think so many people want everyday updates on how Karen took Cady to school, and I picked her up. We continue, and sometimes the days blend into another, and everything is peachy. We reached our 1 year anniversary together this past week, and we celebrated quietly at home with a couple of gifts and some family time together.

Here's a compilation of the first 6 months that we've posted before, and below is the second 6 months that was just completed. It's amazing how much she's grown.

Here are clips of the past 6 months together, and most of the video included here is now showing for the first time. Music by Faye Wong.

What's in a name?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-02-18T08:11:05-08:00

EVERYTHING is in a name. That's why it was so difficult to name daughter #2.
Cadence's name came to us so easily. If one can actually invoke a soul into their lives, I'm certain we did that with her. When we first met, we spent time creating a fictional world in writing. It was an enchanted place of faeries, a dryad, an elf, a dragon pup, and a child named Cadence. The setting for this fictional world was in a forest named Lyonsglade and in particular, a very ancient oak tree that the dryad called home. When our friendship evolved into a courtship, we inevitably set the writings aside for the making of our family.
The fictional characters became alive to us as we wrote about their adventures. When we decided to adopt a child, we already knew that we wanted to name her Cadence. And when we found out that her Chinese name is the same symbol used for a large tree, we were both astonished. It seemed so strange yet fitting that her Chinese name fit so well with the reason that we had chosen her American name.
It also seemed like a beautiful story to tell her as she gets older. How wonderful it would be to weave her life with ours as we tell her the story of our past and the meanings behind it. But it was also that much more difficult to decide on a name for her sister.

CNY

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-02-04T20:51:15-08:00

We went to a Chinese New Year celebration over the weekend, and I don't think I've ever seen Cadence's eyes so wide with enchantment before. She loved every second of the entertainment, even the stuff that was not all that great. It was the clapping, and the excitement, and the HUGE screens on the walls that showed the live stage performances that she loved so much. It probably could have been anything and she would have been just as excited. But there were a few performances that were very good. She also enjoyed the beautiful Chinese clothes that she got to wear to the event. She knew they were special, and even though she's only two, she knew they were her Chinese clothes, and seemed to understand that they were from China. Our online friend Lissa has been able to enrich her daughter's life so much by embracing all that she can find out about her culture, and I hope that we'll be able to do the same. I realize that this is a mainstream attempt, but it's something. There was a Chinese children's group that played Chinese instruments to the tune of Mama Hao, a Chinese nursery song that Cady's A-yi sang to her when we visited the orphanage. She loves this song, as it takes her back to the times when she was a baby, I think.

The song really is soothing. Click on the link to hear the song, Mama Hao.
Mama Hao

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of Cady (and us) enjoying her first CNY celebration.

Getting ready to go

Walking in to the event

Too excited to talk

Loving this event!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!

Up is down

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-02-01T20:31:48-08:00

I have to admit, it's really difficult being at work sometimes, and knowing that Cady is at preschool. I would love to be with her during the day. But she is such a good child. Our morning routine usually goes something like this:
By 5 am, Scott is already off to work, and my alarm goes off at 5:20 am, at which time I drag my butt out of bed and wander into the kitchen to get some coffee, then go to the computer and read a bit, and rush around to get dressed. At 6:15 am I'm usually waking Cady, and she obliges, sometimes in a half daze. By 6:30 we're in the car, driving to her daycare. Then I say a few words about how we should have left earlier, and tomorrow will be different. By 6:45, I'm rushing her into the classroom, sitting her down, placing her breakfast in front of her at the table with the other 5 or 6 kids that also arrive before the sun comes up, and kissing her goodbye. She almost always wakes up in a good mood, and in our 15 minute car ride to preschool, she talks or sings and points out the city bus, or a red barn that we pass daily. We drive by Scott's office on the way to school, which is usually accompanied by her announcing, "There's Baba's work!" She loves school. She loves to learn. And she is sooo proud to announce to her friends that either Scott or I have arrived to get her in the afternoon. She will announce, "My daddy! My daddy!" and looks around the room to make sure that her friends know it's HER daddy that's come to their school.
She's learning so much in preschool. Mostly, she's learned that there is a routine to the day, and when either of us leaves, we always come back. But she's also learned how to count to 20 (it gets a bit jumbled after 20, but up to 20 it's usually very good). She knows how to count to 10 in spanish. She knows all of her shapes, including the differences between an oval and a circle, and the differences between a square and a rectangle. She can engage in casual conversation with me, and at least half of the time we're actually communicating intelligently together.
Her latest achievements with words are "Keegan" and "up is down" Our dog's name is Keegan, and for the longest time she's called him Keeno. Well, now she actually calls the dog Keegan, instead of Keeno, but I miss her calling him Keeno. It was so cute. She referred to him as Keeno so often before, that I started calling the dog Keeno too, without thinking about it. Up-is-down is now her favorite word. She heard me saying upside down about two weeks ago, and the logical outcome from her brain to her mouth was up-is-down. Makes sense. Turn something over, and there you have it, up IS down. She makes me grin every time I hear it.
When I'm exhausted and ready to come home from work, Cady always makes my day complete. My commute time is around 45 minutes from work, and when I walk in the back door, and down the hall, she sees me and she squeals. She literally screams with delight. I'd really love to be here with her all the time, but she is getting so much from being at preschool. And we thoroughly enjoy seeing each other at the end of the day. For the next couple of hours after dinner, we read books, sing songs and genuinely enjoy our girl time together. Sometimes she climbs in my lap then stands on her head as I hold her, and we laugh. This little girl can put life back into my tired soul. After long and difficult days at work, she turns my life right side up again.

Belated birthday video

andersenscott@mac.com — 2007-01-21T09:24:31-08:00

We've been extremely busy getting all the paperwork together for daughter #2. By the way, we're pretty sure we've decided on a name for her, but we want to make absolutely sure that's her name before announcing it. But, that's for anohter entry.
In the mean time, Scott put together a really cute video of Cadence enjoying her birthday cake on her second birthday.

Merry Christmas everyone

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-12-23T14:46:38-08:00

Certainly you can expect pictures after Christmas. I'm long overdue for a full page of new Cady pictures. For now, you will have to accept this.

Ok, now you can get excited

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-12-22T14:24:37-08:00

Yeah. It's official. We're going back.

Smile for the camera!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-12-06T21:20:53-08:00

A little late, but I just wanted an excuse to post these pictures.
We went to a friend's home for Thanksgiving, and she found the mirror. She was being way too cute to not display the pictures on the blog

I've also found that she smiles the most when she is running, jumping or doing gymnastic activity. That makes it so difficult to photograph her smiling!

If we ask her to smile, it usually looks like this

Hmmmmm.Ya think it's a family trait?

Then, there are many other times when she's so intrigued with something else, that she completely ignores my calls of attention for the camera. These pictures definitely tell that story.

But every once in a while, when she's genuinely happy, without being active, we get one of these shots for the camera, and I realize how stunningly beautiful my daughter truly is.

Oh Christmas tree..ohhhh Christmas tree....

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-12-06T20:34:52-08:00

We finally did it, and we have Cady to blame for it. We bought a Christmas tree this year. Scott and I have been married for 4 years now, and although we both enjoy this time of year, and we both celebrate Christmas, we have not had a Christmas tree. Every year, I say we're going to get a boxed tree in January, because they are less expensive then. And somehow we just never have.
But this year was different. We bought one, BEFORE January, and paid full price for it too.
Cady loves, loves, LOVES the tree. She wanted to be right in the middle of it all when Scott was putting it together.

Love that intense stare!

She also helped with the ornaments. When she put the ice cycles on, she twisted them to get a more shiny effect. That's my girl. She loves the look of bling bling, even if it's only on a tree.

But what did she like the most about trimming the tree? Yep, the bubble wrap that came with the box.

Yanno, this could make for a very inexpensive Christmas if we just go the cardboard box and bubble wrap route!

Oh, but the shoes are so pretty

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-11-21T09:04:41-08:00

....So, there I was, getting ready for work. Cady was already dressed, except for her shoes, and our morning routine was unfolding. I walked into the garage to get yogurt out of the garage refrigerator, for Cady to take with her to school. The door leading to the garage shut behind me. No biggie. The door leading to the garage always shuts behind me.

But then, it happened.

A few sounds of twisting metal on metal....and then silence. I moved to open the door and it wouldn't open.

"Cady?" "Cady! twist the handle." "Cady??"

She had, in her infinite wisdom, or more likely...out of curiosity, locked the deadbolt on the door. I spent the next several minutes calling her name, and wondering if she was alright. I could hear her through the door, scurry around at times, but she was not responding to my calls out to her. Of course, my mind was racing with the worst case scenarios. What if she falls and bumps her head? What if she jumps head first into the empty bathtub, and passes out? What if she gets into something poisonous that I somehow forgot to leave out of her reach? I kept calling out for her but she was not responding the way I had hoped.

I had considered calling 911 on my cell phone, and imagined them busting in the door to get to her. But, all I needed was a house key. Instead I called Scott, as he works only a few minutes away from home, and I knew he had the coveted key. I figured he would probably be able to get here sooner than anyone else, anyway. "Relax", I told myself. The odds were very low that something really dreadful would happen to her before Scott's arrival. But I had to get into the house. That was for real.

I went around to the backyard, and continued to call Cady's name from the window. It was cold. I was barefoot. My neighbors were probably still in bed, and if they were not up yet, I was surely going to wake them with my calls out to Cady from the backyard.

Finally!!!! I saw her cute little red, sparkly shoes coming toward me from the hall to the family room. She had spent the past several minutes in her bedroom, looking for, and putting on, her cute little red, sparkly shoes. But, of course. That was why she'd been so quiet. She gave me a half smile and looked down at her shoes then back at me. We had eye to eye contact, but were communicating two entirely different messages to each other. I was instructing her to twist the lock on the door knob, while she was using body language that said, "Look what I did!" as she glanced at her feet and back at me again.

I gave a sigh and looked in at her. I could relax a bit. My baby was okay. And, she had put on her own shoes. And she was so damn cute! I smiled back at her. But I still had this little issue of being outside of my house at 6:45 am, and her being inside. OK, so reality wasn't as cute as it had appeared to be a few seconds earlier.

"Cady, go to the garage door and unlock it. Go to the door in the garage and twist the knob." Did she even know what I was saying? Flashbacks of Pirates of the Caribbean, at Disneyland swirled through my head. I recalled the image of the dog with the keys in his mouth, wagging his tail, as the pirate tried to entice the dog toward them to unlock the jail door. But, she did walk away, and into the hall, toward the garage. I went back to the garage and attempted again to open the door. It WORKED! She had unlocked the door.

Ha! I knew all those puzzles I'd gotten for her were good for her hand/eye coordination. And that one puzzle with the locks and levers on it, well that one was the especially good for her learning skills. I knew I had made a great choice with that puzzle! And Scott had said that particular puzzle was not a good idea, because it could get her into trouble. Pffffffft! Hmmmm.......Well, alright, so maybe he had a good point. Nah. Never mind, she would have eventually learned how to lock the door anyway.

I called Scott again, and told him not to leave work.
And today, instead of going to work to participate in the Monday morning rat races, it was an unexpected vacation day for me.
Trust me, I needed it.

In the mind of a two year old

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-11-05T16:03:59-08:00

Mom and Dad and Two are playing with playdough
Mom: Can I have some of your green?
Two: (using her best reasoning skills) NO! Yucky!
Mom: Please?
Two: (realizing "yucky" didn't work) No. Mine.

Two gets Daddy's play-dough, shaped like a snake:
Mom and Dad: Snake!
Two: Yes, poopie snake!

Two breaks Daddy's play-dough snake on purpose:
Two: OOPSIE! Broken....TWO!!! TWO!!!

Mom and Two are playing in the playhouse
Mom: Is it time for nap?
Two: No, Mama. No nap!
Mom: Go give Daddy kisses and tell him, "Nap time".
Two: (ignores Mom)
Mom: Better run, I'm gonna get you!
Two: (SQUEALS AND RUNS)
Two: (runs to Dad and gives him a kiss then tries to play with his computer)

Two trying to play with the dog's toys
Two: My turn....My turn...My turn!!!

Two singing ABCs
Two: A...B..C...D....ecko.....I
Mom: (repeating the song, with E F G...)
Two: (in her best singing voice) Aaa...Bbb....Ccc...Dddd...eck-ooo.....IIIIIIIII

Mom getting a snack for Two:
Mom: Want something to eat?
Two: (eyes widen)
Mom: Come on..Let's get a snack.
Mom: (goes toward the kitchen while Two wanders toward the garage)
Two: Nogert...Nogert...Nogert? NOGERT!! (starts to panic as she says Nogert!)
Mom: (wanders down the hall toward Two)
Mom: What?
Two: (crying) Noooo-gerrrrrrt!
Dad: She says she wants yogurt from the refrigerator in the garage.
Mom: Ohhh...Yogurt!
Two: (giggles as if nothing was wrong a second ago)
Two: OHH...KAY! Nogert.

At the computer:
Mom: (trying to type this entry)
Two: (creeps up Moms lap)
Mom: (lets Two sit in her lap, but negotiates her hand to the keyboard)
Two: (cries) No, Mama!
Mom: (ends this post)
Two: (off to another adventure) Get it...Get it!

And I wouldn't change a thing:
Two: (in bed and zonked out)
After a full day of the sun and the moon revolving around her, she's now fast asleep and Mom already misses her.

Mom: (sneaks in to Two's bedroom, realigns her lop-sided body, pulls the covers up, gazes down at her, and whispers) I love you to the moon....and back again

Halloween musings

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-31T21:20:45-08:00

Cady woke up this morning knowing that something very special was going to happen. She knew it was going to be Halloween. She slept in her "ghouls rule" shirt, then insisted on wearing it under her flower costume when she woke up for school this morning. The flower costume was for school because we didn't want her fairy costume to rip or get damaged at school. I think she loved wearing them both.

At preschool, some of the parents organized a "trick or trunk" event, and the children got to parade around the school getting goodies from decorated car trunks. After I picked her up from school, she was singing and telling me all about Halloween. I know that she was talking about Halloween because in between her sentences of babble, she would say, "Hallow-Ween!" She practiced saying, "trick or treat" again and again as we drove home....although, it came out more like "Dum-E-Dum"

But, after dinner, she turned into a fairy. If ever there was a child that truly had fairy dust in her blood it would have to be this child. She ran around the house as we took turns capturing this mischievous pixie, to dress her for the evening events. And she laughed and ran. Each time, getting another layer of fairy clothing placed onto her, then slipping away again.

We managed to get our pixie dressed into character, finally.

Then, off to our friends, Kris and Paul's house (and surrounding area) to collect goodies.
"Trick or Treat" was heard all the way to our friend's house.....then....after arriving there....Silence.
All the practiced words turned into pixie dust.

She knew where the candy was, but she wasn't going to say, "Dum E Dum" NOPE! She was not going to say those magical words that produce candy, regardless of the way she might pronounce it.

So, we went to a few doors, and just stood there after the people answered their doors. It's a good thing that she enchanted them with her fairy ways, or that pumpkin bucket would have remained empty.

It was a sweet evening. Her first Halloween, and we loved every memory in the making.

~*~*~*~ Ni-night, my sweet li'l pixie ~*~*~*~

Fashion statements

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-29T20:51:50-08:00

Nothing says fashion like a pair of sunglasses......or a bucket

Trying on cousin Heather's sunglasses, April, '06

June, '06
WOW! These sunglasses are AMAZING at keeping the sun out of your eyes!

Here, Mommy. Try them on!

On a walk with Mommy, July '06

Playing at the park, September, '06
We brought the other sunglasses, just in case. And found out that it has more than one function.

Birthday overload

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-27T12:01:48-07:00

Two birthdays in one 24 hour period....WOW.

Scott's birthday was very simple. He got a card from Cady, and an online game that he's been wanting...And got a play-all-day-if-you-want ticket from Cady and me. But that free ticket happens to be today, because he worked on his birthday.

I'll spare you the really cheezy smile pose that Scott gave me when he turned around.

Cady got a few more presents than her daddy did. In fact, we kind of went overboard. The intention was to save a few for Christmas, but Scott kept saying that this is her first birthday with us, so he wanted to spoil her a bit..and that we did.

She got a new tricycle, of which she is extremely proud. In the late afternoons, she sees older kids riding bikes as she peers outside of the living room window, and for the past month, she's watched them and looks at us with wanting eyes, to which she exclaims loudly, "Bike!!"

She also got this really cool tent which was intended to take the place of a 3x3 box that we've had in the living room since March when we first brought her home. It didn't look so big in the picture. But this thing is HUGE! We have to put it on the other side of the living room. All of her bigger stuffed animals fit in it, along with a chair, and the Dora sofa. And there's still room for Cady and us. Yep, it's really huge. It takes up an entire window on the side of the living room and it appears now to be a fixed piece of furniture in there. Our friend Paul asked if it counts as a room addition with the county assessor. I'm afraid to find out.

She spent some quality time with our good friends, Kris and Paul...who also arrived with more presents and shared Cady's birthday cake. They gave her a froggy towel, which she adores, and some pink converse high tops...TOO CUTE! (more pictures to come later.)

And her friend Kai sent her a Stinky Mouse, just like his, which she insists on taking for rides on her trike. Thank you, Kai! Cady loves her new Stinky Mouse. When she comes to visit, she will be sure to bring her Stinky Mouse with her.

The entire 24 hours could be best summed up by these final two pictures: It was a time as sweet as cake.

Happy BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOUUUUUUU (both of my sweeties)

Tiny

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-24T22:04:11-07:00

Tiny's lawn is a bit yellowed. The plants in her flower pots are a bit withered. She doesn't have the newest car on the block. And she can usually talk your ear off. But ohhh, Tiny's heart is as good as gold. Tiny lives directly across the street from us. Since the day we brought Cady home, Tiny has been so nice to her. She gave Cady her first child's rocking chair and a tea party set within a week of coming home from China. She looks at Cady and smiles as a grandma would smile at her granddaughter. If you've ever seen picures of Cady on the front lawn, waving into the distance, she's probably waving to Tiny's front door, and saying. "Tiny's house!"
It's nice to know that there are Tinys in this world who make kids feel special.

Sneak preview

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-22T20:29:01-07:00

Cady's first Halloween with us is just around the corner. Our dancing fairy is going to be....., well...., you've guessed it, a fairy. She's not really sure of the costume yet, but she likes the idea. We have a huge, framed picture that hangs in the hall just beyond her bedroom. It's a beautiful picture with lots of fairies and elves playing around a pond with animals. As I held her up to view the picture while she was still in the costume, she looked at it, and pointed to the green fairy. She identified herself as looking like that fairy. But, instead of mentioning that she looked like the fairy, she said just the opposite. She pointed to the green fairy and announced, "Two Cadys!"

I love the logical process of a two year old mind. And I'm thoroughly loving this child as she turns two.

As for Halloween, she likes the idea of collecting candy and other goodies, just for asking. And she caught on very quickly as to the purpose of the pumpkin bucket. But we're still practicing the whole process of knocking on the door and saying, "Trick or treat".

Fortunately, we have a few more days to polish that one.

Thank you Grandma!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-21T12:48:33-07:00

So umm.. if you haven't heard, Cady's birthday is coming up soon. Mine is just the day before hers, so we've been celebrating them for a bit now.

Grandma sent us birthday cards, and I couldn't help but get the camera out for the occasion.

Besides, Daddy has been playing with some new video stuff, and was anxious to try some of it out.

Month long birthday celebration

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-18T10:48:33-07:00

Cady's birthday is October 26th. She's going to be two years old. However, we've kind of been celebrating all month with her. It started when she learned how to sing Happy Birthday to Mommy. Scott practiced singing the song with her for many nights while I was at work, before my birthday on September 2nd. In case you missed it, here is a video of the results, the day before my birthday. Click here

Last weekend we went to Toys R Us for birthday presents, and gave her a doll stroller to keep her from wanting to see the rest of the gifts. I never knew that $9.98 would be such a priceless gift for her. She strolls her dolls around the house every moment she gets.

So, now she likes the Happy Birthday song. Especially when it means a surprise gift accompanies the song. My dad and step-mom were visiting at the beginning of this month. They had not met Cady yet, so this was their first get-to-know-you time. They decided to get her a birthday gift, even though her birthday was not for a few more weeks. We all sang Happy Birthday to Cady directly before she opened the gift, and her eyes lit up with magic. It was a Tickle Curious George, which she adores. And a Dora couch, which she also enjoys. It's funny that even though Dora's Hispanic, it's become a good "identity" toy for Cady. The Dora figure looks Chinese. And there aren't that many Chinese dolls out there, so we take what we can get.

She spent quality time with Grandpa reading her adoption book and Grandma painting her nails. But I think what she was enchanted with the most was meeting her Uncle Micah. Micah was adopted from South Korea when he was Cady's age. I really don't know if it was because they both have Asian eyes, or if they have an unspoken affinity and bond because of their similar pasts, or if it was because Micah was so gentle with her that she enjoyed his presence, but the two of them were intrigued with each other. At one point, she laid down in Micah's lap and the two of them just stayed very still and stared at each other. It was as if both of them were thinking that if they moved, the other would no longer be in the moment. So they stayed there quietly sharing each other's company for the longest time.

When we talk about family members now, as soon as I mention Micah, Cady chimes in and says, "Micah....nice!"

More photo fun for this week

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-17T22:03:26-07:00

This week's challenge...
Reinterpretation of Classic Art

Scott created this one a couple of months back. When he created it, he also mentioned that it looks similar to M. C. Escher's work.

Here is the original picture: Cady and Mommy, strolling in July

Left picture: M.C. Escher's Hand with Reflecting Sphere
Right picture: C.F. Andersen's Hands with Revolving Flowers

OK- Friday Photo updates!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-10-13T01:25:49-07:00

This fun game was started by our friend, Donna who has two beautiful daughters from China.
This week's theme for everyone is "anticipation".

Man, oh man. If pictures could talk....

Wanting to wake the baby.

GO ahead, make my day!

Baba's first kiss, one week after Gotcha Day. Anticipated, but certainly not expected at that moment.

And last but not least, WE never anticipated the meltdown that would follow the photo shoot on the infamous Red Couch at the White Swan Hotel.

Mama and Baba learned first hand, what anticipation looks like to a toddler ready for a nap.

Page update

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-17T12:06:08-07:00

Just removing the separate links page, and adding it to the sidebar, with an update on links that have changed.

Just to add some content, a couple of videos from the past and recent past. They've been on YouTube for a little while already, so some people may have already seen them, but here are the two..

Video iChat with Fish Sun at Apple's sales center in California 2 days after Gotcha Day. Music by Ray Charles.

A collage made recently with many pictures already seen and used, but others not used. I was more testing a new program for slideshows, so made another "day 1 to current" type of slideshow. Music by Faye Wong.

Simple pleasures

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-13T22:12:41-07:00

Ready.....

Set.....

GO!!!

She's a friggin' genius

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-09T10:39:45-07:00

If there was blogging in the 18th century-

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

October 12, 1761- Written by Leopold

I know that every parent wants to believe that his child is really a genius, and we try very hard not to set expectations for little Wolfgang so terribly high, but he is such a bright boy. He has recently completed his first composition, and though only 20 seconds long, it's really quite good. He wrote it for the harpsichord and has titled it Andante in C. As I wrote, we don't want to label him a genius, but this is a very good work for a child who is only 5 years old. I've tried to post the mp3 here in the blog, but digital music will not be invented for some time yet. I can try again later...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So yeah, this is how I feel far too often. No, I don't think Cady is genius level, at least not at a savant level anyhow, but she is definitely exceptional. At school, she was scheduled to begin "shadowing" in the older class this past week. Now, the school's plan for shadowing is that she can begin her day in the upper class, and they watch to see how she handles it, and how well she fits in, then return to the younger class for the remainder of the day. This process is set to run for a couple of weeks at the minimum. Cady spent her first day with this schedule, but then the second day she just spent the whole day in the older class. We were a bit surprised that on day two I was picking her up from that class rather than the younger one. Day 3 was the same, and so on. Her teacher feels that she is ready to enter that class now rather than waiting for the evaluation period, and that Cady is well ahead of those that she shared the past months with, and is on par with the students in her new class, and even ahead of some of those kids. We don't want to set such expectations for our little girl, but it seems that Cady has her own agenda and is now finding the challenges that she needs on her own.

That's my little girl.

We work very hard not to push her into advanced learning, but have essentially tossed all of the developmental books out the window. For that matter, we've left all of the adoption (and specifically China adoption) books on the shelves. Cady has proven to us that if we just let her advance as she wants, she's going to be in incredible shape for her future. We don't look at the age recommendations on toys and things that we buy for her, and we just sit and learn whatever she's drawn towards. We talk to her all the time about things as we would talk to an adult. We watch for what she grasps, and we build on that. It's not just that she is smart, but that she truly loves learning things. This is the fun stuff for her. The only thing I try to bring in more of for her learning are things that will improve her creativity. She's incredibly left brained, so we do try to encourage more right brain activity for her.

We don't want to label her as an exceptional child, but it seems that's the first thing everyone tells us after even spending a short time with us. Today we had our 6 month evaluation, and, naturally, as our social worker was leaving the house, she was just repeating over and over how brilliant Cady was. It seemed to be very important to her to convey to use that she was an incredibly smart child, offering comparisons to every other 2 year old she has met.

I absolutely believe that some of this is genetics, and that she has had great advantages in that her time in China was spent under an environment very welcoming to learning, but I also think that Karen and I are on the right track. I believe that we have greatly contributed to her learning and development, and we do feel a sense of pride in her advancement (If we could only take credit for her beauty). I think that Cady has yet to find her place developmentally, and I will not be surprised when, a year or so later, when we are told that she is ready to advance to the next class, well ahead of her classmates. Until we're comfortable that she has found her median, we will continue to leave her in the driver seat, naturally with appropriate guidance.

On another positive note...

If you've followed the blog from the beginning, particularly the adventure in China itself, then you know AnneMarie. We've recently reconnected with AnneMarie's mommy and daddy, and are fortunate to have even received some pictures. I've mixed a "then and now" image to share with everyone. She's come so far, and is both brilliant and beautiful. We're anxious to find an opportunity to get together with her and her family soon, as we miss them all very much.

Without further adieu..

We hope to hear from Macy soon as well, and if we get some pictures, I will be happy to share.

Comfort

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-07T14:17:39-07:00

Sometimes, Cady cries at night, in the middle of the night. Perhaps she bumps her head on her crib rails, or maybe she has a bad dream, and awakens from it, wanting comfort. I'm not really sure. When we hear it on the video monitor while in bed, and I'll go into her bedroom to comfort her. I'll usually start with patting he on the back, and telling her it's all okay. If someone were to tell me that their child woke up, I'd say that it's probably better if you don't pick her up. Just pat her on the back and she'll be fine.

For some reason, that doesn't usually work with Cady. I say, "for some reason", but I think I know the reason.
Last night, she cried and I went in to comfort her, patting her on the back. She kept crying until finally she called out to me. I picked her up and she leaned heavily into my chest and shoulder as I swayed back and forth to comfort her, and she settled down quickly. After a bit of time, I told her that she's going back to bed and she accepted the idea without argument.

She doesn't wake at night often, but it does happen. No amount of comforting or patting on the back will do. In fact, it usually irritates her and tends to wake her further in her frustration. As I consider her past, I realize the possible reasons that she's more agitated and stressed when I do not pick her up to comfort her. Most likely, when she was in the orphanage, no-one picked her up at night. It's very practical when you consider all the children that might cry or simply fuss at night after being startled for whatever reason while in their cribs. But, when they're babies, they need to be held at night. I can't be certain that she wasn't, but it makes sense.

For some children, patting them on the back will work when they awaken. They might not like it, but eventually they learn the pattern and fall back asleep with the knowledge that their parent is there. With all the times that I've tried to do that to get her to go back to sleep, I know that will not work for her. She needs to be held during these times. She needs to feel me close to her. And then she's okay.

We'll never really know what she had to endure while in the orphanage, and most likely neither will she. It will all be forgotten. Without showing her pictures of her time in China, or of her nanny, she would forget consciously that any of that time occurred at all. But I do know that this little girl was brave. I know that she comforted herself at times when most children are comforted by parents. I know that she faced the unknown - head on, and this made her stronger.

Look at her face in this picture. It was taken soon after she was delivered to the hotel, just minutes before we met her. This is not the face of a weak child. She looks so brave. She was taken away from her nanny, the only comfort she had known for 16 months, and brought to the hotel with another nanny and the director of the orphanage. I don't know of any 16 month old children that could be taken away from their mommy, on to a bus, and to a new place without crying out. She didn't cry that day at all, except for the short time that she saw me crying with joy. After about an hour, she was almost in a catatonic state of mind, but she did not cry. She obviously did not have the capability to use words at that age. She could not understand all that was happening or why it was happening. But she did not cry. She looks lonely and scared in this picture, but she also looks as if she's willing to take on whatever comes her way.

That's how Cady is. She is strong, and capable. And when I say that living in an orphanage for 16 months made her stronger, that's exactly what I mean. She has an inner strength that's indescribable. But I also know that every once in a while, she needs to be reassured that she no longer has to face life alone. I know that when she cries at night, patting her on the back does not comfort her. In these incidents, picking her up and letting her hold me is not only the right decision but it's a healthy decision, and one that makes her even stronger.

To this day, I'm in awe of our little girl's capacity to not only cope, but to embrace life with all that comes her way.

Sarah McLachlan video

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-07T13:27:07-07:00

Most of the time, you'll find that this space is reserved for Cady and our family escapades. But, on occasion, something will catch my attention and I'll feel compelled to bring it to this blog. The viewing of the following video is one of those times. I first saw the link for this video when I was viewing another blog a month or two ago (forgive me for not recalling whos-if it was yours, give a shout)

Sarah McLachlan has such a beautiful voice, and the lyrics in her songs are usually eloquently stated. She's one of the few high profile artists who understands that her popularity can be a platform for powerful and thought provoking messages.

World On Fire

This video, in particular, captures that description about her public personality so well.

Side note to Cathy

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-05T00:42:56-07:00

Cathy,

WOW, you remembered that Cadence's birthday is in October! I'm flattered that you took the time to consider that.
You are so dear, and we feel very blessed to have bumped in to you and your family while we were at the hotel in Hefei and again in Guangzhou at the White Swan Hotel. It was such a bazaar encounter, and one that I think was pre-destined to happen.
You really have no idea how precious the pictures are that you took of Cady on the day that we met her, but before we actually did.
The pictures are priceless.

As for Macy's or Anne Marie's parents, we lost their emails when we had gotten a virus on our computers and had to reformat everything. We're hoping to get the email information from our agency to get updates on the other girls.

Thanks again, for everything.

Karen.

Thoughts on the waiting game

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-04T21:28:51-07:00

After we started the adoption process, and before our documents were sent to China, we thought for sure we would be getting our daughter by September '05. In fact, we were so sure of it, that we had cards created announcing that we would be expecting her referral in September, and sent it out to all of our friends and relatives.

September turned in to October, which turned in to November, which turned in to December....January 06 came along, then we received our referral in the end of January 06. In fact, it was really January 29th to be precise, so you can really consider it a February referral. February '06 was five LONG months from our first thought of September '05.

The upside was that we had more time to build our finances for the adoption, but it was so hard....so very hard to wait. It's a difficult concept to explain to anyone that hasn't been through it before. If you could imagine expecting a baby in September, and finally delivering her the following February. I think the hardest part of the wait was the not knowing of who she was, even though we felt an emotional connection to her.

You can read about it here, on our first blog
And here
Or even here

Now, only five months after Gotcha day, life is as normal with our baby girl as it ever could be. It's as if we have been together always, and things are just as we had ever planned.

Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), our paper work was stalled four months, the same four months that Cady's papers were sitting at someone's desk at CCAA, waiting to be matched with her "forever family". Her photos and information were 4 months old by the time we got the referral. We had no idea what to expect even after the referral, which made us almost as anxious as not getting the referral yet.

The referral picture (above) shows her holding on to a counter top in order to stand up. It was taken in October or November 05, and we ironically were expecting our referral of her at that same time. The next picture was taken while we were in China. It shows that she could not only stand on her own by then, but could walk very fast. We had no idea how much she had grown nor what to expect. All that we had were the very outdated photos we had at referral.

But I say to all of you waiting for your referral, try to enjoy your time now...I know, I know, easy for me to say, while you still wait. But, you know that the time will come that you will get your little girl (or boy). Relax. Go shopping once a month for something frivolous to add to your baby's closet of goodies. Read that book that you were always going to read, but didn't find the time to read. Enjoy your time to do the things you can do on a whim, without carting a diaper bag, extra snacks or a bottle. And know that the invisible thread that connects you is more powerful than any amount of time you might wait to get her.

After we received our referral, life was so busy preparing for Cadence....And while we were in China, life was a big whirl. I would not give up the time between referral and traveling to China, or our time IN China, for anything at all. It was nearly addicting. It was such a rush receiving her, bonding with her, and getting to know her.
It was new and chaotic.
It was innocent and scary.
It was (seemingly) a long time ago.

And now, Scott and I really have no "free" time like we had while we were anxiously awaiting our referral. We used to contemplate the idea of getting new computers, or going antique shopping for fun, without even considering the finances. Now, most of our extra money is spent on excellent daycare, diapers and child's clothing. Many of my extra vacation days (that I saved all of last year) are spent at home when she's sick or too cranky to go to daycare. We both work overtime when we can, to make up for the extras that we need for her or the things we want to do with Cady.
However, my "me" time is gladly given up for the opportunity to watch my daughter learn new words. And traded for taking bubble baths with her after a long day. And used for rediscovering what cool water feels like on bare feet, or watching how excited she gets when wind blows out of nowhere to touch her face and tassel her hair. I spend my time making butterflies with my hands and reading about spots on a critter that wants to belong in the zoo. I'm constantly looking for my hairbrush that Cady found an hour earlier, or wondering where the postage stamps went, only to find that Cady discovered the "new stickers" on my desk.
Yes, enjoy your spare time now. And embrace the family time that comes when it comes...and it will come. Don't look back later, wondering where the free time went, and wish it were back. But, enjoy your free time now...Know also, that it will all come and go with the blink of an eye.

Yay!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-09-01T19:44:23-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

September 2nd, 19somethingsomething.

I'll take another shot of that!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-31T00:04:54-07:00

Working the evening shifts has it's ups and downs.

The upside for me:
I don't have to commute home to rush in the house , only to start dinner with zero down time between.
I don't have to worry about what Im gonna cook for dinner, although I still do the shopping, and tell him what to cook
I don't drive during the "Rush" hours, which makes my commute only 25 minutes instead of the insane 1hour/10 minutes of stop and go.
I can wake up at 7:30 am instead of 5:30 am
I get to spend time with Cady in the mornings, relish in her funny morning smiles, and watch at least a half hour of

Little Einsteins or Backyardigans both of which, Cady adores!!
Cady doesn't have to be rushed to school by 6:30 am, breakfast in hand and crying through groggy eyes (mine or hers).

The downside for me:
My little girl is growing up. At night is when she recalls (as only a 22 month old can) all the interesting things that she's learned for that day/week/month...I'm at work, and I'm missing it.
I listen to Doctor Laura on my 20 minute drive home at 9pm, and KNOW if I called her she would tell me to STOP the evening shift at once.
My little girl is growing up..did I mention that?
When I drop her off at school, even though she is now delighted to go there because it's less hours for her, she usually stares at me from her chair, and gives me a sad good-bye look.
My little girl is growing up.
I don't GET TO make dinner for her, and sit by her when she eats.

The upside for Scott:
He now has a little more empathy for being the one in charge of making dinner with a kid under foot.
He now has a general idea of how to MAKE dinner.
He appreciates the concept of cleaning up messes he makes while making dinner...and I must say he is doing very good at both.
He gets quality time with Cady, rocking her to sleep with her bottle and singing to/with her and talking to/with her during their down time
He gets to watch his little girl grow up
His bond with her was already something to be envied, but now it is even stronger.

The downside for Scott:
He doesn't even get to take a shower unless it's after she goes to bed, or he wakes up by 330am to do it because usually he is out of the house by 430am
He doesn't get any alone time after work. He picks up Cady at 3:30 pm and they spend the rest of the day together. He could leave her there longer, but the main criteria for me working evenings is so that she feels safe and comfortable in daycare while she waits for one of us to take her home.

The upside for Cady:
She can now easily understand that daycare/preschool is consistent, with consistent friends, and regulated hours of play. And that we come back soon enough to take her home.
She doesn't have to be dragged out of bed at an hour before the rooster crows.
She can spend some down time in the mornings with mama, and I know she enjoys that time.
She is always the one to come in to preschool the latest, at 9-930, ready for circle time, or snack time...The other children enjoy seeing her as she walks in, and she enjoys walking directly into a room full of children that are not crying (their parents usually have dropped them off an hour earlier)
She gets to sit and have afternoon snack with Baba, at her school when he picks her up, before their drive home at 3:30
She calls me nightly, and seems to look forward to hearing me on the phone, knowing that I will be home and waking her the next morning.

The downside for Cady:
She skips a lot of napping at preschool now, either because now she sleeps longer at night....or because she's anxious for Baba to show up "after nap time" to get her, causing her not to sleep at, all in anticipation of his arrival.
My little girl is growing up...and I've not been there in the evenings with her this month.
She misses me, as much as I miss her...maybe more.

After weighing all the pros and cons, we've made the decision though, to do this for one more month. Her preschool is beyond excellence, but the cost has set us back financially from where we want to be. One more month of shift differential pay will get us back on track again.
Sometimes I wonder if I can take it one more month. Regardless, September will definitely be the second and final month of split shifts. It's good for a short while because of all the upsides listed, but it can get old and lonely fast for all of us if we do it for more than the short term.

The upside for our family is that she talks to me on the phone daily. Oh my goodness, the messages she leaves on my cell phone are sooo cute! It brings smiles to my face while I'm at work....And with only 5 or so hours in preschool, she's really grasping the idea that even though we leave, we always come back, soon enough, with love in our hearts for her.
We are working as a family unit to achieve a more fulfilled life style. Cady is doing her part. She can't express herself verbally as much as she can comprehend, so we have to show her daily, by example, what to expect.
Now more than ever, I think all three of us grasp the idea of family and what it means to each other. Cady will sometimes be in Scott's arms, then reach to me as if she wants me to hold her instead. When I go to grab for her, she holds tight to Scott's neck, then latches on to mine as well...A very tight triangle forms between the three of us as Cady looks at each of us in admiration and proclaims....."MOMMY!?!? BABA!?!?! CAKY!!!! " (her latest version of Cady), then grins and nods her head with utmost approval at her proclamation. She obtains a look of delight, in the way that she turns her physical actions into emotional response, and vise versa, as if her actions are saying, "We are a family!"

Oh and just in case anyone is wondering,.....this is Cady's "Say CHEEEESSSSSSE" face.... Scott or I will tell her to say "Cheese" before taking her picture, and this is the result....with the word "Cheeeeeeeese" tossed in with the cheesy smile. But with the look she gives, maybe in our family we should start to say, "Say HAAAAAAAM"

One lump or two, Goggie?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-24T01:38:22-07:00

Cady received a tea set as a gift a few months ago, and it's been in the back of her closet. We weren't sure at what age she would want to participate in "real" imaginary play. So, out of curiosity, the other night, Scott got the tea set out of the closet, and they had a tea party. The results were overwhelmingly obvious that she has a vivid imagination, and she adores her tea set. So, Mr Wabit, and Beaaaar were invited out of their box/home near the love seat, and they all seemed to enjoy the company. After all, Cady's spent many times inside of their house too, and she was allowed to win more than one wrestling match with them, while in their home, so it was about time she invited them over for tea.

On the other hand, Keegan wasn't quite as sure about this thing called a tea party. Or, perhaps he was unaware of the fact that his new name is Goggie. And when Cady crawled to him, then clapped her hands together twice while commanding, "Goggie! M'ere Goggie!" that was his que to enter stage left. But it seems also, that he'd heard about the empress's new tea and cookies party that she'd give for Mr. Wabit, and Beaaaar, so he played along for amusement, and seemed to enjoy the special attention from his friend. And after all, in the past she's left some fairly good treat trail behind, so he wasn't about to miss this one.

Truly my daughter

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-20T09:53:16-07:00

We visit work often, and she always impresses the sales group with spotting each and every Apple logo spread throughout the floor.

Bubbly drinks...muahahaha!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-13T22:29:45-07:00

Thanks to everyone who responded about Cady's incident with strep. I just thought I'd do a follow up about her recovery.
She's taking Benadryl and penicillin. The bumps on her body are cleared up. She still has some itching on her torso though, when she gets hot, so the Benadryl really isn't helping as much as we had hoped. Today I bought some Caladryl lotion and it seems to do good itch relief when the Benadryl wears off.

The medicine has been as difficult to get down that girl's throat as we first suspected it would be when we found out that we had to give it to her. We have, however come up with a few ingenious ways to get her to take it...Yes, that's right, we have out-smarted the Scorpio/Monkey girl-(Her Astrological Sun sign and her Chinese Animal sign) both of these signs detail witty and creative behaviors....And she lives up to both. So, we have to be on our feet if we're going to outwit her. Well, Scott created a couple of good ways to get her to take the meds. Ironically, he's also a witty Scorpio/Monkey.......hmmmmm.

He was, for the first couple of days, able to entice her with taking the meds by opening the bottle in front of her, sniffing the contents, and making yummy sounds at her. Then he would deny her the meds completely, holding the dropper away and telling her that it's his. She enjoyed the tease, and eventually would want the dropper of pink liquid herself, but it was both time consuming and seemed so "candy-man-ish". I mean, who really wants their daughter to be enticed by someone to take drugs?

Recently, however, he came up with a newer...and I might add...ingenious way to get her to take the meds. All you desperate parents of intelligent and wile toddlers, listen up. Your time might come all too soon, when you too find yourself using four arms and a big towel to saturate your own shirt with a sticky, pink, bubble gummy substance. And who doesn't look forward to that day?

We found out a long time ago that Cady admires our soda cans as we drink from them. She seems to realize they're for "big people", so she's content with her juice in a sippy cup. We have though, on occasion, given her a bit of ginger-ale as a big-girl treat. Which leads us to our most recent success with getting her to take medication.....Scott put a dropper-full of meds into her sippy cup while she wasn't looking. Then, when it was obvious that she WAS looking, he added a few gulps of ginger-ale into the cup. The end result was a mixed drink that our Scorpio/Monkey girl actually gave kisses to her equally witty Baba, in order to receive.

The cocktail worked!!!

We have success at last. Tonight we did the same thing with a few gulps of caffeine free coke. It smells, and tastes like bubble gum flavored soda. And now, at least, we no longer feel as if we're torturing our daughter with an evil device called a "dropper" that crushes her will power with pink kryptonite. We're also free from feeling that the Candy Man arrives 3 times a day to entice our daughter with drugs. We can, instead, slip the drug into her drink when she's not looking. OK, it's still a really desperate, and somewhat evil sounding scenario, but at least we feel satisfied that she thinks she's just being a big girl and drinking the bubbly stuff that she's seen her parents and older kids drink.

Of course, it goes without saying that we don't want her drinking soda on a regular basis at this age, but sometimes ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do. And hopefully, the distribution of the meds in this manner, for the next few days, will serve two purposes for us. First off, we hope she'll continue to take the meds, in a civil manner, and maybe even give out more kisses for the cup of bubbly. But as a side benefit, we're also hoping that she might just wonder what all the fuss is about this bubbly stuff in a can, and learn to hate the taste of soda.

New Pictures

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-13T18:30:18-07:00

So I've brought in some new images from the recent past, some from the beach trip to Bodega Bay a few weeks ago, and some others that I took while playing with the camera and getting some close-up shots of Cady after a bath.

You can access from the menu at the top, the pictures below, or the navigation bar on the left side.

Just a quick note to Tina.. Karen and I (mostly me) are sad for your loss. We all know what it's like to lose a trusted friend.. err.. computer. We hope all will be well in time.

Guilty!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-08T22:23:12-07:00

I feel soooo guilty!

Cady's been getting a gradual rash. She's had bumps starting on her torso, and then moved to her sides, her back, and eventually today they have moved to her legs. We knew that Chinese children can sometimes have sensitive skin, so we've always used Eucerin lotion and paste on her skin. The stuff works magic, by the way, and never feels layered on the skin.

I've been adding more of the paste to her body daily, thinking that the rash would be cleared up by now. For the past week and a half we've been assuming that it's just a rash caused by any number of things...chlorine in the pools she'd been in, detergent that didn't get thoroughly rinsed out of her clothes in the washing machine, an allergy to a newly introduced fruit.

Nope, none of the above.

We took her to the doctor today because the rash had seemed to be spreading further, with red bumps. The girl has strep throat. The variety she has also exhibits itself on the skin tissue, which is also termed as scarlet fever.

YIKES!

My first thoughts of scarlet fever made me think of something incurable...like bubonic plague. Apparently, scarlet fever was something horrible in the past, but today it's commonly seen on kids with strep throat and is easily cured with medication.

The doctor listed signs of strep throat that Cady never displayed.....fever, diarrhea, irritability, lack of appetite, vomiting. We also know, though, that Cady will usually not complain about ailments or pains. If she bumps her head on the coffee table, she rubs her head and moves on. That's just how she is.

I had no idea she was sick. Poor girl! She is now on penicillin for the next 10 days. That's going to be fun. Ya see, in addition to being resilient she is also stubborn when it comes to taking meds. I recall the last time we had to get medication down her for giardia, she kept the liquid medication in her mouth for half hour at a time, and refused to swallow it.

For Mommy

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-08-07T21:07:57-07:00

Karen is working her first swing shift, and thankfully only has to do this for a very short time. I know she's gonna miss her baby (and might miss Cady too) so I clipped a few movie shots from the night just for her goodnight, as Cady will be sleeping when she gets home.

Goodnight Honey.

sub note: The ravioli served tonight is not some canned thing. It's only the good stuff for Cady.

So sorry Matt!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-29T21:59:13-07:00

So I was given a book by Karen's Mother a bit ago about being a daddy. It's a cute little book with snippets of humorous wisdom for what to know and expect with being the father of a daughter, all the way through her teen years and beyond. Cady, after a recent visit to see her cousins Nicole and Matt, decided on her own that the umm.. girl on the cover of the book.. was umm.. Matt. We really had no say in this, and have even tried to explain that it was a little girl on the cover, and that Matt was definitely not a little girl.

Extra Extra!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-29T17:28:38-07:00

Click for full size version

Walking the dog

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-12T21:06:01-07:00

A little video clip with Cady giving Keegan a good talking to about his whiney noises while on the walk. Filmed by mama.

Belated Independence Day celebration

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-11T21:29:10-07:00

Here's to the 4th of July. And the 8th and the 9th too!

Because the 4th fell on a Tuesday this year, our evening was fairly uneventful. However, this weekend Cady was able to visit my family, and we celebrated a bit late. She thoroughly enjoys the company of extended family. Scott couldn't go with us because we stayed till Monday, and he couldn't afford the extra vacation day right now. But he really missed his little girl, and I heard about it every time we called home. I have to admit, I think Cady missed him too, but she was surrounded by so much attention and love that she kept herself busy enjoying her visit. Next time, hopefully Scott will be able to join us.

We stayed Saturday night at my mom's house where Cady decided to pose with the red, white and blues shown above. My son, Daniel, got to visit as well, and it was a wonderful time. My Mom received the privilege of sleeping with Cady in between her and me, in her bed, and I think poor Mom ended up with only 3 hours of sleep on that first night. Ya' see, Cady is a very busy sleeper. She tosses and turns and her head eventually touches every edge of her crib at least twice, in a normal night's sleep. Being in a bed (I'm sure) amplified that for her. Mom just smiled when I asked her how she slept, and said, "I have my whole life to sleep".
Mom and Cady have a very sweet relationship, and I'm very thankful for that.

Then it was off to my brother's and his family. The last time she visited my brother's family was in April, during the Easter visit, but she remembered Matt and Nicole immediately. She seems to be infatuated with her cousin, Nicole. I think part of it is the blonde (almost white) hair that Nicole has, but most likely it also has something to do with the one-on-one attention that Nicole constantly gives her as well. When we showed up, Nicole was downstairs, making Cady a felt purse. It was so cute. And by the time we left, Nicole had made her some crafts to take home.

I love this picture of the two girls together.

Cady learned very quickly that Nicole will gladly pick her up. And although she weighs 27 lbs, almost half Nicole's weight at 60 lbs, Nicole and Cady seemed to be joined at the hip on several occasions for this visit.
It was a wonderful visit with times of just lounging and playing.

Karen's Mom with her two granddaughters

Teething on a watermelon

We also went swimming, while Cady discovered 2 firsts.
1-She discovered that she can dunk her head underwater on the count of three, just like the big kids do. Well, sorta. I dunked her head with a lot of preparation while she was in my arms, in the pool. She would always come up a bit shocked but ended up with big smiles after wiping away the water from her eyes.
2-She also discovered the teething benefits of gnawing on cold watermelon. Lately this girl has more drool than old faithful has water. Her front molars are rearing their heads, and she will chew on whatever feels good. But from the looks of how many tooth marks were planted into her watermelon and not actually chewed off, watermelon is the latest best feel good.

Honorable mention.

Lastly, I wanted to post this picture of my nephew, Matt. Or as Cady refers to him, ma-TTT. Unfortuntely, Matt doesn't like to be photographed doing things that I think are adorable. So, I thought I'd give him his 15 seconds of fame with this picture. Just so you know, I did witness Matt dancing with Cady and playing with her and the monkey purse that he gave to her, because he knows how to be a thoughtful big cousin. But I was unable to get any pictures of it before he would move on.

I really love my niece and nephew. I don't tell them enough, but they're really good kids.

Picture fun

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-04T22:08:51-07:00

It amazes me to no end that wherever I live, fireworks are not allowed in city limits, yet I am never able to sleep on July 4 because of all of the fireworks going off continually around my home. I think all businesses should make everyone work on the 4th and give everyone the 5th off so that they can recover from not being able to sleep the night before.

Now, I'm a patriot, and I love my country. I choose to show this patriotism every year by, you know, obeying the laws of this country, and the cities within it. I know, call me odd if you will.

Anyhow, I was playing a bit in photoshop with a picture that Karen took today.

The result is pleasing I think.

Another movie

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-02T10:27:59-07:00

We've already put up the pictures for this, but here are the movie files that Karen shot during that time.

New achievements

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-01T12:47:00-07:00

So, I thought I'd start this post with a picture of Cady imitating her daddy. No real reason, only that it's a fun picture.

Yesterday was Cady's second day of pre-school. Man! This school stuff is tough on me!! I never really thought that sending my child to pre-school would be so hard on the psyche. When my son was younger I ran a home daycare, so I never really felt the effects of being a working mom. But she (we)...I?? have to get used to this.
I've noticed two things about Cady while she's around other children. She won't share. Instead, she gives a rather brilliant puppy dog face while she tilts her head and says, "nooooo". But, the other thing I noticed around other children, is this; if there is a child in need of comfort, she will find a toy and try to entertain her/him with that toy, and gladly give it as a gift. These actions not only make me believe that our daughter is empathetic toward others in her environment, but that might also have been her way of helping the younger children cope with sadness in the orphanage.

She's been home for 3 months now, and we've really noticed growth on all levels.
-She's gained a vast amount of language acquisition:
-She says 25-30 words, although some are words that only we understand.
-She understands 95% of what is said to or around her. Yesterday, I was holding her and told Scott that I need to do a few things, so he said to put her down (in normal conversation, with several other sentences) She was listening to us, because as soon as he said that, she pushed her legs up higher and clung to me like a sticky weed to a sock.
And she really listens when I tell Scott something that she did while he was away. She might not know what we are saying exactly, but she recognizes the emotions and happiness that is said with her name involved, and she starts looking very proud of herself.
-She will actually talk on the phone to someone on the other side. It might be babble, but it's definitely acknowledgment of the other person.

She's getting physically bigger:
-She's gained an inch and a half in height

She's interacting with her environment in positive (and very cute) ways:
-She's in the process of switching from treating Keegan (our dog) as a sibling to treating him as the "family dog". She'll grab his toy and throw it for him, knowing that it's HIS toy and HE is a dog. And the next minute, when I ask Keegan to dance for a treat, Cady is on her tip toes, hands up-bent at the wrists, and she's dancing in circles, competing with him for cheese, as a sibling.
Below is a video of them both competing for a treat:

-She draws small circular scribbles on paper and then points to the scribble then to herself and says "mama"
OK so that's one we need to still work on. She calls herself Mama. We think she might be associating herself with females, but we aren't sure. One of us will say, "that's Cady" pointing to the picture then to her...and she quickly replies with a quick nod of approval and says, "mama!"
-She also mimics everything. If someone is standing with their arms crossed, I'll look down and there's Cady, studying the adult, and crossing her own arms. If we're talking with friends and using hand motions, Cady will start using her hands and babbling....If you could imagine how it looks and sounds while playing Sims online, as one of the characters gives a party, then think of all the Sims gathering round to chat, and then you'll have an idea of how she contributes to the conversations.
We were in the car the other day, and I said to Scott, "this sucks!" Cady replied, "sucks". Scott then said, "Did you hear that, Karen?? We have to be careful, Cady just repeated the word sucks" To which, of course we hear again from the back seat, "sucks".

So, we're starting a new chapter in her interactions with others. Last week was her last week at My-Gym, and I'm very glad we enrolled her there. It was a great way to start her in the process of learning how to participate in circle time, and to work on her motor skills. When she first started there, I noticed that she was a little behind on motor skills from children her age. She had the knowledge and the desire to participate but she had never been given the opportunity. After 6 weeks she was ahead of others. It was like watching a child that had been blind, recover eye sight, and begin to discover her surroundings in a new way. It was also a wonderful thing that both my mom and son got to experience this with her.

Cady and Daniel (or as Cady calls him, Daw-daw)

Cady and Grandma (In Cady language: Mamah)

For Bill

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-07-01T07:25:01-07:00

Some time ago, we wrote about Half the Sky, and how people (and companies) can donate in many ways to benefit the children in China's orphanages. We had also written how we knew that Cady had a sponsor, though we did not know who he was. Well, as the title hints, we now do know. We've known for a bit of time already, but this is the first time that we have shared this outside of the home. We were able to send messages over to Bill, and to express our gratitude to him for being a sponsor to our baby girl, and were thrilled to hear back from him. We know that he reads the site on occasion, and we want him to know that he is in our thoughts and prayers always.

So we discovered something interesting recently. You've seen a lot of pictures of Cady (umm.. obviously) and most often she has this complete look of concentration on her face. We love that look about her, and she obviously learns so much in such little time, that it makes sense. She really is studying everything constantly. What we learned though, is that just by asking, we could get some incredible smiles from her. Ya I know, all we had to do was ask, right? Our daughter can say "cheese" now, and actually understands that it means that we want her to smile. I know this because if I ask her to say "cheese" while I am not pointing a camera (or at least something that looks like a camera) at her, she looks back as if to say "You don't have a camera, why are you asking me to do this?"

Mind you, she also knows what cheese is, and will happily gobble it up when offered to her.

That's all from me for now, and Karen will be writing very soon, directly from her own brand new Mac Mini (WOOO!). If the site starts looking odd from time to time, it's not her fault at all. I'm trying to see how I can share one blog file between two computers, and though I think I have it figured out, we'll see what happens when it really gets tested.

I'm thrilled at the number of great responses for the new site look, and yes, there is a distinct Monsters theme here. Appropriately enough, it is a theme from the Rapidweaver program used to create the site, and the theme is in fact called Monsters. I've customized the look to meet some of the requests, particularly the text coloring, though there are some things on it that I can't change with my limited modifying skills, though I keep trying.

Thank you all again.

Well...?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-25T21:21:46-07:00

So what do you think? You like it? You hate it? It's a new look anyhow.. I don't know if I will keep it or not, but we'll give it a few days to sink in.

Just Like Mommy Does

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-24T11:43:51-07:00

Mommy dances with Cady far more than Daddy gets to, so when she started dancing with her own baby, we decided it was mostly Mommy's influence.

And so it goes

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-20T19:15:38-07:00

It’s official!
Our little girl went to her first day of school today. Well, ok…it wasn’t really her ‘official’ first day. Her official first day of preschool will be next Tuesday. Scott and I spent an hour there with Cady yesterday, as an initial visit. But, Cady was invited back to school today to spend 3 hours without Mama and Baba there. She’ll be back again for two full days next week, then she'll start going full time Monday thru Friday, beginning on July 3rd, when I start back to work. She adores one of the teachers already, Miss Rommi. Miss Rommi was there yesterday and she stuck to her like glue. She's from India, and looks similar to Cady's nanny at the orphanage, so that might have something to do with it. Miss Rommi smiles a lot, and is constantly doing things that invite the children to think and participate. We're very impressed with this school thus far. The facility is beautiful, in a very safe location, and the staff is top notch. Today, while Cady was in class by herself, I was able to view her from the principal’s office for as long as I wanted, because there's a video system to monitor every classroom. Cady seemed very comfortable and I could tell she felt safe from the moment we stepped in to the room for the interview yesterday, and today she responded the same way. I watched the camera screen today from the principal's office for a little over half an hour. Then I left with the intention of running a few weekly errands. I drove home instead. I’m not sure why, really.

So now, here I am.

There are always more errands that I don’t do during the day because toting around a toddler to run errands is difficult, to say the least. I'd rather be spending my coveted time with Cady going out on her terms; walks, MyGym and gardening. Otherwise, when I go out with Cady, I have a long check list of things to carry: diapers, wipes, snacks, bottled water, bottle of juice, extra set of clothes, a few small toys.
”And did I remember to put sunscreen on her?  Where is the sunscreen? Will I have enough time run both errands before nap time? Which one errand is most important to get done today? Did she actually eat any of her breakfast this morning? When was her last poop?”  And, although she likes car rides, the car gets uncomfortably hot when parked outside.
…..All of these thoughts and more are what determine how or if I will conduct my errands for the day outside of the home. But I came home, to wait for pick-up time instead. I thought I would jump at the opportunity to have some 'free' time. And yet, here I am, at home, waiting for the time that I can go back to get my sweet girl.

So now, here I am.

My daughter has started school. For the next 15 years of my little girl’s life, she will be in school, and that’s before she goes to college. I know she needs the brain food, and she is very much ready for a preschool environment. It’s a bittersweet feeling for me now. But oh, how exciting it is for her. As I walked with Cady this morning, the principal reached down and offered Cady her hand. Cady gladly accepted the gesture as she half-toddled and half-marched into the room. She scanned her surroundings, found the teacher, and sat right down for circle time and a book. My heart swelled with pride, as I stood in the corner and watched Cady. She looked on, completely captivated by her teacher and her surroundings.

I realized at that moment, this was the beginning of something entirely new for us as a family.
Open houses, ice cream socials, pot lucks, recitals, school concerts, science fair projects, first-day-of-school jitters, best friends, sleepovers & birthday parties.
Our universe shifted, just a little today.

As I looked past the toddler room window behind Cady, and into the playground area, I could see the Pre-K students outside. They were busy with their teachers getting ready for their graduation ceremony tonight. I could also hear the traditional graduation music playing behind the dual pane windows, as they prepared for the big event.  What an exciting time for those children. What an exciting time for my daughter. As the pre-K children were preparing for their next milestone, so was Cady.

I once read that kindergarten got it's first start in Germany. It's been said that the person who started the first kindergarten, Friedrich Froebel, needed a name for his pre-grade school classes. He looked for a word to describe an experience that would cultivate children like plants and let them bloom like flowers, he called it a children’s garden, hence, Kinder-Garten. What a beautiful sentiment. I thought about that definition today as I admired my daughter experiencing school. I thought about the shifting of our time together. And I thought about her future.

Below is an accumulation of those thoughts for my daughter.

Seedling

A delightful seedling was planted this day.
Her colors and shapes are still unknown.

So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

Her size is tiny, but she possesses great strengths.
She’ll be loved and nurtured, and soon she'll be grown.

So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

So, attach yourself firmly, my little one.
I'll be here with you. In time it will show.

So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

And when her growing is done, and my harvest complete,
She’ll cultivate a new garden, and have her own seedlings to sow.

But for now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

Here I am

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-19T19:31:32-07:00

OK so I’ve been on sabbatical for quite a while now, letting Scott do all the typing and creativity. There are a few reasons for that. First, he has the Apple computer(s) at his L shaped desk, and my PC is on the other side of the room. Now, first glance would indicate that he is segregating the PC from his Apples. But, in fact, I have my own…old…worn out desk that houses my old…worn out PC. I’m too practical, so I find it difficult giving up my tattered desk that doubles as a bill holder/CD stacker/important Cady papers/everything else one can imagine, from stapler to Cady’s crayons.   It wobbles and it tilts, but I can’t find another like it. My PC is about to bite the dust too. Every time I turn it off, then back on, I get a message that I am due for a system failure and that backing up my system is a really good idea.   I’ve given it some thought and have decided to take the plunge. I’m getting an Apple. That will serve two purposes. First, I will be able to put this old thing to rest with dignity. And second, but most importantly, I will be able to publish onto our blog as my whims and time allows, without trying to find the time to use his computer, or asking him to post my entries for me, via an email exchange. OK, Scott O, you can now rejoice in the bliss of yet another Apple user returned safely home.

Now, on to the sole purpose for having a computer and internet access (besides Yahoo games), and that would be journaling my thoughts and feelings for and about my little girl’s world.

Father’s Day for Cady’s Baba was everything he had asked for, and more. Actually they were fairly simple requests. He had requested two things.
One: to be in a No-poop zone for the day. This being, he would get the day off from diaper duty, from retrieving a variety of things that I forget on my quest to clean or manage Cady’s needs. But he would, instead, get all the hugs, kisses, lap sitting and plain ole Baba admiration from his little girl. The funny thing is, she moved right in to character. There were at least 3 or 4 times during the day that she asked for him, and then went to find him just for a kiss or a hug. She loved her Baba attention so much that she cried at least once when he tried to put her down.
And two: To get something artistic from Cady. For the artistic part, Cady and I made chocolate chip cookies. She also spent time finger painting for him. And although I’m not sure she understood the concept that the cookies and messy art were for Baba, she had fun creating both. And I had fun sharing girl time with her.

I really am in awe at times when I realize I have a little girl with whom to share my world and my life. She is so well rounded, it astounds me. She is quick to get her hands dirty and play tomboy, but is also such a girly-girl that she’s the first to admire a good piece of plastic jewelry, a ‘pretty’ for her hair, or a plastic watch, or beautiful monkey pajamas. She loves to dance. And she changes pace with the beat and tempo of the music, as Scott’s video shows. My dad said it the best. When I spoke to him tonight, he said, “She knows the cadence of the music”. I said, “yeah…..” Paused. Then, realized that it’s true.   She gives hugs willingly, and while she gives them, she says “ugggggs, uggggs, ugggggs”. She hears children crying and then makes the same sound, as if in empathy for that child. My daughter loves when the wind blows in her face. She looks out to the distance, as if she wants to know where it comes from. Then, she smiles and lets it blow in her face anyway. And her eyes…her eyes can melt anyone’s heart. If eyes truly are the passage to the soul, she’s deep, convincing and compassionate. When she hears me come home and walk in the back door, her feet pitter-patter down the hallway and she greets me with sentences full of adventure. I’m positive she is telling me what she did with Baba, and asking me if I got her anything at the store, and telling me she loves me.   How am I sure of this? Because, sometimes she greets me in this manner with intermittent words of, “uggggs, uggggs, uggggs!”
While I watched my little girl love her father, I did a lot of reflecting. I thought about times with my own father. The bed time stories he would tell, the love he gave me. I thought about my son and about my daughter.   I thought about the passage of time, and how children live in the moment. Today I lived in the moment, all day. I hope Scott had as wonderful of a Father’s Day as I did.

It's my day! It's my day!!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-18T09:40:30-07:00

So I mentioned earlier about my computer failing, with a bad logic board and hard drive, and I spoke about my faith in Apple's service. Check this out and note that we paid for none of this. Apple does all of this using express shipping at their expense. We set up the repair on a Monday, and Apple overnighted a custom box to me which arrived on Tuesday. If we had been better prepared, we could have had this box packed and shipped out right away on Tuesday, but we weren't, so I packed it up on Tuesday night and set up the pickup with DHL on Wednesday. Count the days now with me: DHL picks up my computer on Wednesday afternoon, and overnights it to the Apple repair depot. Thursday morning, Apple receives the computer, tests to identify the issues, replaces the logic board, a cable, and the hard drive, installs a clean operating system, verifies the repais as successful, and DHL picks it up from the repair center on the same day. On Friday morning, DHL is knocking on our front door to deliver my computer back home. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's it. That's all they needed for replacing the second most complicated component in the computer (I think the display would be harder) and a couple of other components. This is one of the many reasons that Apple is tops in service and support. Eat it Dell. Eat it Gateway. A 3 day turnaround for a repair is actually expected from our customers. Never promised but most always achieved.

Kudos to DHL as well for their service, as they delivered at 9:30 in the morning during the only hour that Karen had to be out of the house for a doctor's appointment for Cady. When Karen called them to appeal to them to try to deliver again on Friday (they had it set to re-attempt on next business day) they asked the driver to re-attempt and she did, so I didn't have to wait until Monday to get my computer back.It was a very nice way to end a distressing situation.

So what else has been happening since my last meaningful entry? I guess I can't complain about a low number of comments for the site considering it's been nearly a month since I have included any content outside of some pictures and movies, though they certainly have been adorable, RIGHT? I've been back to work full time for a while, and I've been very sick for a greater part of that time. Not the Idontwannaworkitis that I have experienced once in awhile, or any kind of sickness from not being with my baby girl all day and every day, though I miss her each and every moment that we're apart. I am still amazed by her continually, and if this little girl understood just how much I love her, she would control my every move. Hopefully by the time she does understand those kinds of things more, I will be able to conceal it just enough that she won't completely own me. Well, she will always completely own me, but hopefully she won't ever realize it enough to test it so often. So I have been sick, and last night after Cady and Momma made cookied for me for Father's Day, she started showing symptoms too. She was getting extremely hot, and we brought out the thermometer, and tried to take her temperature. She didn't want any of that, so we managed to get the thermometer under her arm enough to watch the temperature rise upwards of 103+. We were very worried, but, unable to accept the accuracy of the measurement under the conditions (clothing and all the squirming can really affect a reading) we opted to give her a cool bath which seemed to help out a whole lot. We got her to bed, and watched her carefully, and she made it through the night. It tears me up to see her sick, particularly with a cold that I likely gave to her. A good friend at work (thanks Ted) stopped me in my worrying to tell me that I can NOT blame myself for these things, or it will kill me. I struggle with it, but we're all going to be ok.

So what other news of Cady? She is, as always, incredible. At her worst, she is clingy. She has gained most of her baby teeth, and without actually checking in her mouth, we never even know anything is happening in there. Whether the incoming teeth hurt her or not we have no idea, but she doesn't cry about it or even get cranky. Karen considers me as the one who will have to keep her mind thinking and growing intellectually, but she seems to have no idea just how wonderfully she is doing with that all on her own during the daytime when I am working. She knows so much and still understands everything. She knows everything we say, and understands it all in such a wonderful way. She knows more words than we can count, and I keep trying to build enough desire to try to make a list. It's hard to count the words, as some of them are not proper, though we know exactly what she is saying. Some sound like the words we know, so they would count, right? This is the issue with counting the words, and the reason I haven't and may not do it. This girl is smart. We know it, she knows it, everyone who meets her sees it almost immediately.

We have selected our child care facility for when Karen goes back to work. She will be enrolled in Merryhill School. We truly enjoyed not just the facilities, but the very apparent commitment to the children's learning and development. We're happy with the choice, even if sad that such a choice becomes necessary. I still wish that one of us could stay home always with her. Yes she needs to be exposed to an environment with lots of children, but I also want to feel that she will be given every opportunity to have an environment which will allow her to advance as rapidly as she is comfortable with. I stress that I am not looking towards always pushing her. I want her to be a child as well, and I want her to play, and be as creative as she likes. This does not have to be independent of learning and advancing though. With all of our research, Merryhill will be good for her. It will just be hard on me.

And so it's Daddy's Day today. My request for my only gift for this day is to be able to do whatever I want. I had expected that this would give me time to write some, maybe take a nap, and maybe work with my newly returned computer. Interestingly enough, I started writing this posting here at the time you see. I began this at 9AM. It's now noon, and I have written pieces, followed by Cady hugs and a little writing. Playing with Cady and a little writing. Sitting with Cady and a little writing. Dancing with Cady and a little writing. Dinner with the Playschool king and queen (and horse) and a little writing. Helping Cady feed Tyrone and Uniqua and put them to bed and yes, a little more writing.

My Father's Day present is to be able to do anything I want.

It's working perfectly so far.

Wheee

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-17T12:30:44-07:00

Lots to tell, and I will write more ~~later tonight~~ tomorrow. For now, some new pictures and a video.

When Computers Fail

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-06-11T10:29:58-07:00

So it should never need to be said, but it often does have to be said, usually after a system failure, you should always back up your computer data to an external source. I had done some backups of the most critical and irreplaceable information on my computer, namely my photos, videos, email, and music. I had not completely backed up that which was less critical though, meaning some system preference files, some of my favorite bookmarks, and most notably, this site. The past week was spent doing everything short of physically rebuilding the hard drive to try to recover the data. Fortunately I had done the split from Chapter 1 a couple of weeks ago, so that site will remain whole and untouched. I had a backup at the time that I split it, so I was able to rebuild this current Chapter 2 site with only a few hours of work, and with only a few small quirks, which, unless you are really attentive, you are likely to not notice. The remaining lost information is only inconvenient to replace, so all is essentially ok.

So my beloved PowerBook has a few problems, and will not start up. It's alright, no need to worry. I have AppleCare, and it will be covered, so in a short time I will have it back and running well. Now, I've always been a huge advocate of Apple computers and software, and this has not changed. Computer hardware fails no matter who makes it, and Apple's track record for the durability of their products is quite impressive. But a portable computer is exactly that. Something that you move around, and if you are like me, it's something you move around a lot. In time, stress points may fail, and in my case, had failed. If you own a portable computer from any manufacturer, you would be well advised to have any and every extended repair contract available to that system.

So I'm working from a backup computer, and though it is much slower than my PowerBook, I can return to writing and sharing everything with you. It's not likely that I will include any video though until my precious comes back to me, as this backup computer is quite limited in capability.

For the moment, I just post to give you this update and I will start giving more Cady news soon. We're all doing well, and appreciate you for reading.

Last note: I took the leap and actually registered a domain name for the site. You can now locate this page by going to http://www.cadychase.com/ . It's a redirect, so for those of you who have the site bookmarked, you will never have to change those links. Going to the cadychase.com address only re-routes the page over to this current one, so, once again, you will have no need to change your bookmarks or your bloglines feeds.

Thanks again.

Bear Wrestling

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-31T22:08:23-07:00

Zoo Video

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-29T11:01:26-07:00

Playing at the zoo in Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Also a few new pictures of Cady playing outside. Yeah, the lawn really needed to be cut at the time.

As Promised

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-27T17:38:50-07:00

As I promised earlier today, the rest of the pictures from our trip to South Dakota. There are lots to see, in order as follows: The Butterfly House, The Great Plains Zoo, and The Falls of the Big Sioux River.

Enjoy

Confused?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-27T11:08:09-07:00

Ok I might be confused a bit too. I decided to split the blog up into separate chapters (with a little overlap) to allow things to load better for people as well as making it easier to archive as well. The split fit best at the point that we arrived back home from our trip to China, so regular visitors will have already read things up to this point. If you're using bloglines or another blog tracker, you will need to update this site now.

We appreciate your understanding and your continued visitation. Chapter One will not go away, so you can visit and search, but will no longer be updated.

I'll get some more of our South Dakota photos up today as a reward for your understanding.

Family

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-22T11:08:30-07:00

So as yesterday's posting indicated, we spent the past week enjoying a long overdue visit with my family in South Dakota. Excluding the time in the airplanes, it was 8 days of maximum attention all on Cady. I have my mother, 3 brothers, 2 sisters, and 13 nieces and nephews, most of which were able to visit. This meant that virtually every waking moment of the week was spent with someone openly adoring my daughter. Naturally, Cady had no complaints. Of course, being the newest and youngest member of the family, in their eyes, she could do no wrong. Yeah, we might have to start the process now of beginning to un-spoil this little girl a bit, as she is now starting to test us.

This test begins whenever we have to take something away, or tell her "no-no", a term she not only knows well, but repeats often, accompanied with a stern look and a finger shake at the item we are telling her not to touch. Some day we may get some pictures or video of this, though it's tough to maintain the seriousness of a discipline while waving a camera at her. Right now, when taking something away, she will make the play, and out comes the bottom lip, the eyes begin to melt, and she will begin this adorable little pout that, if unprepared, will melt the coldest adult. After quickly seeing that this isn't working, she will even look for a level surface to put her forehead down on while rubbing her eyes. Even the pout is fake, but she does try.

We knew it would come. It was a great recommendation in all of our readings before seeing her for the first time that we should be well prepared to spoil Cady as much as we could. It helps the bonding, and it works very well. We also knew in advance that this spoiling could not last forever, and that, as time passed, we would have to wean her from this a bit down to a normal level. I've seen some very spoiled children, and I have every confidence that Cady will make this adjustment with only small issues. Even now, she is seeing that the pouting performance isn't going to work, and Karen and I are adamantly aware that we need to keep a firm counter together on this re-adjustment.

With a few rare exceptions, gone are the late night wakings, the naps go smoothly, she eats well, exercises well, and her mind is as sharp as any child I have ever seen. Every plane trip we have had ends with one or more people praising how well she travels, and often people are even amazed at how young she is, comparing her with their own children's advancement when they are much older than she is.

This past week with all of her family, we saw huge strides in her advancement. It was mostly small things, as she picked up a lot of new words that she can now say, with varying degrees of success. Monkey sounds like Mama, Dog still sounds like Gaguh, and our current favorite is Turtle. She pronounces it very clearly, and we can't help but smile when she does, because she puts such an accent on it that makes it so adorable. There was even a morning after waking up that she was just laying on the floor looking at the ceiling and saying all of the words that she knows. I have never read or heard about something like this, but it definitely happened, and continued until she noticed that we were all staring wide eyed at her, at which point she got back up with a smile and returned to her play. She simply amazes us every day.

This is the last day of my party, and tomorrow I have to return to work. It will be the first time I have ever been away from my baby for longer than an hour I think, and something tells me that I may not take it very well. I really don't want to do it, but I have a wonderful job and co-workers that I do miss greatly, and if I want to buy Cady that Baby Grand, I really should start making more money.

I still have more to write, and I need to cover the rest of the trip, including the Butterfly House, the Great Plains Zoo, and the Falls of the Big Sioux River, some of which will even include some fun video.

My family had been warned on arrival that, by allowing us to come visit, they were likely to end up appearing on the blog. I've added one of the sets of images up on the page now, focusing on the moments in between those visits to the zoo, the park, and the Butterfly House. I told you all I would make you famous. ;) Pictures at the top under the South Dakota link, or by clicking here.

Thanks as always for reading, and I will write again soon.

So where have you been??

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-21T09:04:30-07:00

So where have we been??

Well, we were away. Far far away in the land I almost forgot. We took our trip to South Dakota, to see the family I had left behind so long ago, when I migrated to California. In this age of Audio/Video Chats (If any of my family members would buy one of these), email, and inexpensive long distance calls, the world is a much smaller place. It's never small enough. I didn't even know how much I would miss my family even until we were leaving to come back home just yesterday.

But what a time we had. Many many pictures to follow, and even some video to boot.

Anyhow, We had a lot of fun, and there will be lots to catch up on as time permits.

Stay Tuned...

Thanks Cathy

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-05T12:42:08-07:00

As we have written in the past, on our Gotcha Day, we encountered some wonderful people who were actually visiting Anhui 8 years after their own Gotcha. We were able to meet Becky, Caitlin, and their parents, which was so wonderful. I know the story was told, how when Cathy (Caitlin's mommy) was in the taxi, waiting to leave, she saw the bus with Cady and Macy. She had the cab hold, and ran in to take some pictures of our little girls. She sent these to us a little bit back, though this is the first time I have posted them. I have trouble finding the words to express just how incredible it is to have these pictures along with our story, and how fortunate we are to have Cathy, Phil, and Caitlin along with us on our journey, past, present, and future.

We're still doing well, and we look forward to each morning when Cady wakes up to greet her new day, almost always with smiles and chatter. She learns things so quickly, and there are times when either Karen or I have to ask the other "Did you teach her that?" to which the answer is usually "I might have said it to her once.." As written in the past, it's never that she just repeats words or actions that she hears and sees, but that she understands almost every expression that she uses. If we could figure out what "Dum-mnn" is, which she says whenever she points to something (we think she is saying "something" or the like) we will be in really good shape.

So we went to the mall yesterday, for something that I have been waiting to get for some time. If you have looked closely enough, you will see that I am almost always wearing my Vans Classic Slip-ons. It's not just about style, but more because wearing laced shoes tend to hurt the top of my foot, so it's mostly about comfort. So we finally were able to get a pair for Cady, shown below along with a pair of Daddy's louder Vans.

For those of you who have a Gotcha moment coming up, once again as I have written in the past, we highly recommend that you request a visit to your child's SWI. Generally at the Gotcha Day, parents are allowed to ask questions about their child, such as what they like to eat, what they like to play with,and so on. This is usually the time when you can ask to visit. It's not always allowed, but it was such an incredible moment, you definitely want to do what you can to make that trip. It does come with some ups and downs though. Some have indicated that there can be a regression period after such a visit, particularly if the child had become attached. We understood that from the beginning when we made that request, and we were just extra attentive to Cady's signals after we completed our visit.

Another one of the big things that we encountered was not anticipated, even though we were also warned in advance about it. It's very likely that if you visit the SWI, you may not leave with an entirely fulfilled heart.

Even before we had our referral, Karen would hint at the possibility that we would want to adopt a second child after Cady was home and settled in. I would always brush it off and explain how tough it will be for us to handle one child, with working and such. Eventually it came down to the fact that we would not think about that until we had Cady home, and began learning how well we could raise her. Of course I could say this all I wanted, and yeah, Karen would nod, smile, and continue thinking about that second child.

For me, the wheels began turning on this after arriving home from China. Of course I think we're extremely fortunate that Cady has come to us so incredibly well adjusted, so that may cloud the thinking a little. In addition to that, the entire experience can be addictive. The entire process is so euphoric, that when home, there is definitely a pull back to doing it again, but not for all the right reasons. Rather than wanting to adopt again to have a second wonderful child in your lives, the real pull is the excitement of showers, referral, gotcha, adoption day, the red couch, Guangzhou, and so on. For those of you considering a second adoption, just be aware of that pull. If you can sit back, remove those thoughts of those exciting periods, and really feel that you want to bring another child into your lives, then bless you, bless you, bless you.

While cutting and mixing all of the video and stills from the trip, Karen and I talked more and more about a second child. We still have only a little idea about the obstacles that Cady will have in her life. We know to be prepared and aware that things will happen, and we plan to be prepared to encounter and handle those things in full force. But we have thought about how much of this she might still be doing alone, being on her own throughout this path. We'll definitely be there for her, but we cannot feel the things she feels. We can only hope to understand her feelings as she shares them with us. In this we too will be vigilant. While working on the video clips, I found myself spinning back to one particular piece over and over.

Yes, if you can't pick it out right from the video, it's the little girl in the green coat. While actually filming it, nothing registered about her. We were pretty overwhelmed with everything on this visit, and so I was just filming the play area. It wasn't until much later, back at home, that I started watching her more and more. Now I want so much to just hop in the car, and drive over to the SWI to take some more film clips just to see if I can tell what the pull is. Mind you, and this is very very important, my heart still belongs to Cady, and this is not just a "honeymoon's over" type of thing. I still can't figure out though what this pull is about. Could she be any child in any SWI that I wanted to bring home? I'm really not certain about that. Most of me believes it was just that she really seemed to know what was happening while we were walking by, and had thoughts and feelings about that.

When visiting our agency recently, I even mentioned it to our Program Director (Hi Rachel!) and I even showed her the video clip. Sadly our agency doesn't handle situations like that, though she offered us some recommendations on what we could try. I have to tell you though, that if she had told us that she could make it happen, we would be starting the paperwork as soon as someone allowed us to. Realistically, I doubt we could make it happen. If adopting parents are allowed to choose their children in any way, shape, or form, we have no idea how to do that, though we might send some letters to Half the Sky anyhow.

So what does this all mean? Well I'm not certain. If it's somehow possible to complete this concept in my head, then it will be done. If not, then Karen and I are still really seriously discussing the possibilities of another journey, another round of "Scott versus the airlines", and another incredibly magical moment in our lives.

Stay tuned...

Update: Wow. We had written about this experience on a couple of other message boards, and not only did people know who she was (she seems to capture a lot of people's eyes) but also that she has parents now hurrying to get to China to be with her. While I am very thrilled for this little girl, a little piece of me feels sad, but only for myself. I'm working that out in my head right now.

And I write

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-02T00:48:32-07:00

I promised I would write sooner, with something profound and insightful, but, to be honest, it's more difficult right now than it used to be. Are the hours of child talk with my daughter dumbing me down? Perhaps my mind is just getting numb without the verbal challenges of my co-workers and friends? (Hi everyone!) Could it be that I haven't had time to look at a newspaper or a book in months? Orrrr maybe I just spend more time trying to coax an extra hug and kiss from my sweet pumpkin lately, and am exploring the feelings of pure love for this little girl.

As I write at this point, I remember things that had occured to me in recent times that I wanted to mention. A few of the things I have learned about myself, and being a parent..

A standard 18 month old child will generate up to 5 times her own weight in trash each week. We're actually putting out full cans every Friday now.

Though I think this part is fairly unique to Cady, it's worth mentioning. All of the tests we had done for Cady after arriving home have come through ok, except she does have Giardia. In spite of the precautions that Karen and I have taken, we have had some possible symptoms of it as well. My last night in Guangzhou could have also been the point when I contracted it, or with the period it can take to develop, I may have even picked it up on the first day in China. All I know is that we're all taking bitter bitter medicine. Karen and I, being adults and all, manage the medicine with funny icky gooey faces, but Cady is another story. She has to take the medicine in a different form. It's 6 ml from a dropper 3 times a day. This stuff is nasty harsh, and it takes everything we have to get this medicine into her. The bitterness cannot be masked either. We tried mixing it with lots of things, and even heavily diluted, the child can tell it's in there and won't touch it. Now here's the kicker. We get it into her mouth, and she will hold it in her mouth. She doesn't spit it out at all. We now try to figure out ways to get her to swallow it so we can move on through the day, but there are times when she has kept this nasty stuff in her mouth for upwards of 45 minutes. So far the only thing we have gotten to work is to hold her nose in small time increments, just long enough for her to swallow a little. It breaks my heart 3 times a day to have to do this, particularly as some doctors say that if she doesn't have any symptoms (she doesn't), treatment may not even be necessary. We want to be certain though, so we do this to her.

Another new thing that I have learned is probably the most incredible. This is my first time as a daddy, so though it may seem obvious to some, it may not to others. It certainly didn't to me. In my history, I have known love. I have known love for my family, for girlfriends in my past, and very much so for Karen now. I have never known a love as strong as I feel for this little girl that we have brought into our home. Love for your family is a given. You grow up with it, and it's just an ever present thing that you have always known. Love for a companion ranges from a youthful crush to even an eternal bond with a spouse. Even love for God, in my history, much like that of my family, has always just always been. This love I have for Cady is beyond that. It's unequivocably and unconditionally present, and at the risk of being too mushy (yeah right, like I am in time to stop that) it is just gushing from me to my little girl.

It is truly the most powerful emotion that I have ever felt in my life.

Before Cady was in our home, I was fairly certain that I knew what it was like to be a daddy. Now I can say with absolute certainty that I do.

Here's another video I pieced together with lots of my favorite little snippets since Cady was within our reach. A couple of them you may have seen, but others are in the open for the first time now.

Baby discovers hip hop

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-27T11:54:50-07:00

So it's been a while since I wrote, but not for lack of effort.

Quite a bit has happened in the past week or so, and I promise to write about it soon, either tonight or maybe tomorrow. We've had some ups and downs, but all of them have been really good learning experiences. I have a few thoughts on how things are working, and you'll all hear about it when time permits.

Meanwhile, we're making our first trip back to our agency today. It seems with the videos and writing on this site, Cady has become a little bit of a celebrity. Well we promise not to let it get to our heads, at least until we get really famous.

As the post title suggests, our daughter is dancing. Way back on gotcha day, when we were given an opportunity to ask questions of the SWI director about Cady, we were asking about the things she enjoys. All of the people from her SWI all laughed right when the question was translated to them, and they all started talking at once to our guide. Well the answer was a resounding "She likes to dance." So we danced a lot with her, and she loved it, but rarely did much other than rocking a bit. It was clearly dancing, but never seemed to really be something she was extra enthusiastic about.

Until recently.

She dances all the time now to the opening music from The Backyardigans and loves watching the show. She doesn't really watch television at all, and has almost no interest in any other television shows, but when this show comes on, she becomes fixated to the television. We certainly don't mind, as it's a very positive show, and it's not Teletubbies or Barney. I am told that Barney is hugely educational, and I can appreciate that, but it's far too sugary sweet for me to want to sit through. Barney still may happen, but Daddy may need to work into that one slowly. We're sticking with The Backyardigans for the moment.

The other night, while watching television, one of the Verizon commercials came on the air, and Cady ran out and really started dancing. It was the commercial with the music by Sean Paul (Temperature). Though the lyrics are a bit umm.. questionable, they are harder to hear, and Cady just loves the beat. Today we tried lots of other styles of music, from metal, to classical, to rock, and nothing gets my daughter dancing like hip hop. I have tried some other hip hop tunes as well, and she likes Bust A Move as well.

Writer's note: Daddy really hopes that the music he is describing right now really is hip hop, and that he is not openly displaying his ignorance right now.

So we got a few clips of her dancing, and now you too can see that my baby has some real moves. Note that we didn't teach her how to do this, and we're guessing that she just picked it up from the dancers on the commercial.

Considering that Daddy's music collection is quite a bit different (More than 10 hours of Beatles tunes), we're probably looking at an expansion of that in the near future, as income allows.

Enjoy

At the Park

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-22T19:00:55-07:00

So we had a few days of sunshine here. Enough time to finally dry up the rain that has been soaking us over the past 2 months. Which allowed us to make a second excursion to the park. We have pictures on the links above and to the right, and then, of course, right here.

Cady enjoys the park, and her favorites are the slide and the sand, but I think her favorite is the swings, which is further enhanced when it becomes an interactive event with Mommy and Daddy. Giggles and laughs below.

Hello again

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-21T14:39:32-07:00

Wow what a great reaction to the video. For those of you who are statistic minded, the regular bandwidth consumed on the site was usually about 2-4 GB per month, but when this video went up, we were at about 35GB of bandwidth in just the first 24 hours and sits at about 50GB right now.

We have received so many wonderful comments and emails to the video, and we loved reading them all. Thank you so much for letting us know how well you liked it.

I have a second surprise for you all now today. After Karen, Cady, and I visited the Hefei SWI that Cady spend her first 16 months, I wrote only a little about it, as it was a very emotional period. I know that I mentioned that, at the time, we weren,t sure if we even were going to share this clip, though I know that I indicated that it would be likely. Well, here it is. I was piecing it all together to go along with the adoption video, and had to trim it down to the 10 minute mark to put on YouTube, as putting it up with my normal host would likely result in another bandwidth surge beyond my allowable limit of 125GB each half month, and could take the site down for the remainder of the month.

Now that I have it done, I am anxious to share. Nothing fancy on this one, as it's just the pure video with some sound tweaks and a little background music. It's a good chance to see the Institution a little, but more to see how our encounter went with Jia Rong, Cady's caregiver for the entire time she was there.

We feel very blessed to have had a chance to visit, as I understand that such visits may be on the decline. It was a beautiful place, and, with only a few exceptions (mostly minor safety things) this place would fit well even in the United States for cleanliness and care.

Thanks as always for watching.

The Movie

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-19T12:56:07-07:00

Since returning from China, I have been working on the video in increments. Between those little 15 minute blocks and nap times for Cady, I was able to sort and clip the individual pieces for assembly. Yesterday Karen took on the majority of the responsibilities (yeah, she did it all) while I marathoned the video project to completion. It's a 15 minute video (so it can't be done on YouTube), and I recommend having the sound on to enjoy it fully. I brought it in as an mp4 format, so it works perfectly in Quicktime (free), and may work with Windows Media Player. Karen, Cady, and I think it turned out pretty well, and we hope you do as well.

It will take a bit to load, weighing in at about 55MB in size, so you may want to start it and then wait a little bit before watching. Links in various parts of the page, including clicking on the image above or even right here.

Enjoy.

The Story

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-18T10:43:17-07:00

Briefly..

I used the Comic Life software to create a little mini story about the trip to China for Cady. We're going to print it out and try to get it laminated so that Cady will have something with pictures that she can play with. She loves when I am at the computer because she loves looking at all the pictures. She always points at the pictures of her, then points at herself. Now it's a little impressive, except that almost all of the pictures are of Cady, so it's pretty easy for her to get it right.

So the timeline was just a tad skewed to make it all run properly, but if you weren't reading daily, then you might not even know.

And so for your reading pleasure..

The Cady Pages

Easter

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-17T10:58:20-07:00

So we had a wonderful Easter, with a few incredible surprises, the first of which was the Easter Bunny visiting. Now then..

We saw that Sophie met the Easter Bunny..

And we saw that Tenley met the Easter Bunny...

But we had a special treat for Easter. We had a Frank the Easter Bunny...

It was so wonderful to have Frank sharing this Easter with us. I absolutely do not think it would have been the same without him. I wish I had gotten a picture with him and Cady together.

It was a weekend filled with so many learning experiences for Cady. It was so nice to bring Cady to visit this part of such a huge family that this little girl has, and she got along so well. We had no issues at all for the entire trip, and Cady is still behaving as if she has always been with us. We thought a lot about the rest of her family in Washington, South Dakota, and Texas, and wished that we could be with them as well, but it will all happen in time.

Cady has either a love for mimicry, or a real knack for playing with instruments, and she enjoys making sounds. We're considering an inexpensive keyboard purchase now, though if she ends up in another direction, we'll go there instead.

Words fail me (surprised, right?) in trying to express how nice it was to spend this weekend with Marc, Danielle, Nicole, Matt, Frank, Gramma Roberta, Daniel, and Char. We knew that they not only supported us, but were truly excited to have Cady in this family, and it was great to actually experience the real feelings of family on such a special weekend. I want to offer a special thanks to Nicole and Matt for being so good to your new cousin. I'm unable to count the number of times that I witnessed you both stopping in the middle of what you were doing to not only share it all with Cady, but to embrace her into this family with a full unconditional love.

The learning was not just for Cady either. Mommy and Daddy had a chance to share ideas with the family as well. Marc and Danielle have raised some wholly brilliant kids, and though they may not know it (well, they will when they read this I guess), they will be a model for that which we hope to give to our daughter. I wish that we had gotten some pictures with Cady playing with Danielle, and especially with her brother Dan, but there will be many more visits, and many more photo opportunities.

Thank you all for a beautiful weekend.

Easter pictures can be found from the link here and at the top.

Our first 2 weeks home

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-13T14:51:23-07:00

So here we are again, back from China for 2 whole weeks now. We received a packet from our agency shortly after arriving home with a lot of information on what we have to do next (still quite a bit of paperwork) and some information on PADS(Post Adoption Depression Syndrome). It's not uncommon for parents to feel this depression after bringing their child home. Sadness, regret, doubts about yourself and your partner's ability to handle this task ahead. Adoption, particularly interracial adoption for our case, doesn't just end when all of the paperwork is completed. No no no.. It's a lifelong path. I'll talk more about that down the page. Excepting only one bad day, in which Karen, Cady, and I were all sick, needy, cranky, tired, and hurting, we have not experienced any of the symptoms of PADS. It's certainly possible that we may encounter symptoms further down the road, or not at all. We may be ok. We'll watch for it, and if we see it, we know what we can blame it on.

It hasn't all been a picnic. I've tried hard to present an even view of what we have encountered with having Cady in our family. She cries, pouts, throws small tantrums (though no big explosions yet) and all in all behaves like a child who is almost 2 years old. She hasn't yet experienced any night terrors (also not uncommon), we have gotten a clean bill of health from the doctor (so far, with only a couple of test results to come in), and she eats, drinks, poops, and sleeps. She likes to talk, though we're helping her build up her words now. She knows most everything we say, and can even follow instructions well. The other day, Karen told her to get her shoes and bring them to Daddy so we could go bye bye. She did it all right in order, bringing the shoes to me, not to the person that gave her the instruction, then proceeded without further prompting to head back to the garage. It's wonderful how well she understands everything. We have even taught her some sign language, though our doctor did inform us that while it's excellent to teach her this, it does slow down her vocal communications a little. So far Cady will actually tell us when she wants water, milk, or to eat all with sign. She does the hand motions for "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and seems to learn faster than we can teach. She knows who Mommy and Daddy are, and though it's only a perception, we feel that she does return our love.

So that's her development..

So how have Mommy and Daddy developed? We're doing well. I'm often oversensitive to watching my daughter. Are we spending too much time with her? Too little? Should we be trying to teach her this? Are we doing too much for her? Most parents know the routine, but this is my first chance to be a real daddy, and I really would like to do a good job. I try to study with much of my spare time the things we need to be prepared for in Cady's life. Of the things that we could encounter are:

Racism: Not just from white people, but from people of other races, even Chinese. A Chinese girl raised by white parents will see issues with this, and Karen and I will need to be prepared to learn these things rapidly as we encounter them. We need to understand that as people who were born and raised in a predominately white country, and though we consider ourselves very aware of racism, we need to be prepared to recognize it, handle it properly, and then support our daughter and help her with understanding and comforting her when this hurts. I'm not certain that we can ever be properly equipped to be ready for each situation as it happens, and hope that we can have a plan prepared out to ensure that we will always be there to help her with it.

Culture: We need to help and support Cady by ensuring that she knows her culture, not only her Chinese culture, but also the culture that surrounds her as a Chinese child raised by white parents. Originally I had so much planned for ensuring that she could learn Mandarin, that she would know the history of China at a national and local level for her birthplace, and that we would have her involved in each and every opportunity to experience this through local Chinese organizations. We would give her so much information that she could never feel bad, right? Well, after a little more study, it became apparent that doing this could cause her to feel isolated in an opposite direction, teaching her that even though she lives with us, she is still Chinese, and could be thought of as a way of saying that she didn't belong with us.

We need a balance. I see lots of information all over about this, and it always seems to indicate that it can only be one way or another. Either the child is accepted by Chinese people as if she were born and raised by a Chinese family, or that she will be raised as a white child with no hint of her culture. I see the third option, which is what she is. She is a child born in China, and who was adopted by a white family in the United States. I really don't think it will only be about finding a balance between being Chinese and American, but there is a huge community of children adopted from China who will all be experiencing similar issues, and with that, I think we can really find a basis to help Cady understand who she is, and to help Mommy and Daddy grow with her.

Could be, might be, possibly, maybe. We're learning, changing, and growing, and there is no end in sight. It's a thrilling ride, and of all the uncertainties, there are things I am very certain of. We'll never stop trying, we will always have our minds open to learn, and we're ready for this.

New pictures added as well at the top, under the "2 weeks home" link, and now that I have purchased an external hard drive, more video coming soon.

First doctor appointment

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-11T17:59:40-07:00

We've been concerned about Cadence's sweaty head when she sleeps. It gets extremely wet. When I asked other parents that have adopted from China, a lot of parents have agreed that their child does the same thing, presuming it was just their child. Then it was suggested that it might be a symptom of rickets. Rickets is caused by a vitamin D deficiency, mostly due to little or no sun exposure, but other causes are from not getting enough vitamin D intake in foods, or fortified milk.

We went to the pediatrician today for Cady's first check up. Our pediatrician does not think Cady has/had rickets. With rickets several things appear to be present: The child is usually underweight, has signs of bowed legs, and the teeth cut through later than normal-sometimes almost all at once after the adoption. She said that with Cady's weight- 50-60% on an international chart, and with her legs not being bowed at all, and with the formation of the rest of her body (without clothing) at 17 months, along with all the teeth she already has, she will be surprised if Cady has/had a vitamin D deficiency. I'm now thinking (wondering) if it really is a Chinese child thing. Results from all the tests will come in a few days.

Our poor baby had 5 shots today- two in each leg and one in the arm, and also got her blood drawn from her left arm for several blood tests. We are to turn in stool samples next week, (3 different sets of stools taken at least 24 hours apart), for more testing on deficiencies and/or parasites. At first the pediatrician didn't even think the blood sample was necessary simply because Cady looks so healthy, but she said that it's best we do, so that we can be sure of everything. We also redid all the imunizations and will follow up every 4 weeks three more times. She said it will not harm the child to redo the immunizations.

-Side note- The cautions we hear so often about immunizations possibly causing or relating to autism, according to our pediatrician is outdated information for imunizations given in the US. It used to be accurate because of mercury in the immunization shots, but they no longer use mercury for any of the shots given by US doctors, so if you are still waiting for your adoptive child, you are safe in re-immunizing your child in the US.

Our poor baby was a trooper. She only cried when she had to lay down while the nurse did things because the nurse wore a smock. The same fearful crying came when the phlebotomist held her arm down. Cady fought with all her might to get away from her. She's a very good phlebotomist though, she's the same one that drew my blood before we sent our documents to China, almost a year ago, and no-one else knows how to get my blood. Cady finally caved in after 3 or more minutes of struggling, and she just looked so defeated.

The only thing we couldn't do was the urine sample because the nurse gave her an external catheter (a catheter bag without the tube that was stickied to her outer vagina). It didn't work so well, when she finally peed, it went outside of the bag.
We gave her a warm bath soon after, and again she held her purple ball close to her cheek for a long while- the same ball that she held during and after her bath on Gotcha Day.

I can't help but think that these children are treated abruptly during doctor visits in the SWIs. I can understand (sort of) why. But damn, it makes for a really heart wrenching time for us parents. The good news, is that this probably will be the ONLY blood sample we need for a battery of tests (too many to list), for parasites, deficiencies, and general health and blood cell count. And I can say with certainty that Cady knows her space boundaries. She absolutely knows when someone is in her space uninvited. If you are unwelcome in her space, she won't put up with it. She allows you to be there. I admire that strength in her and am happy that she is that confident with her self and environment. This might have been a result of feeling that her space was violated by the doctors who probed her at the orphanage, so for that outcome from her possible negative experiences, I'm glad.

And now, some pictures of Mommy and Cady in China. Here I had a good hair day (My ONLY good hair day in China), and these pictures didn't make into the China folders...So here they are.

Mommy stole some shugah...but Cady didn't mind.

This is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys....unless the monkeys do tricks.

Cady loves the song, "If all the Raindrops Were Lemon Drops and Gum Drops..."
(Thanks to Anne Marie's Mommy for sharing the song, as it's now one of her favorites)

The journal

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-09T22:16:53-07:00

I've been a bit hesitant about putting this up for people to see. Karen and I often mention just how lucky we feel that Cady was in the SWI that she was in, and that it was supported by Half the Sky. From what we have been able to learn, Half the Sky has two types of sponsorships. One in which children are directly sponsored by a family, and another method in which blanket donations go to benefit some children in the SWI. If your SWI is supported by Half the Sky, once you bring your child home, you can request information about your child and their sponsorship level. We hope that if she was directly sponsored, that the family that did so will allow us to know who they are so that we can keep them up to date on everything that has happened in her life.

One of the requirements that Half the Sky has of the orphanages that they work with is that a journal is kept for each of the children under their sponsorship. I do not know how many children are cared for this way, but we did get this journal on the day that we visited. It's our second most treasured possession from the SWI, and we have scanned it into the computer.

I've been most hesitant about sharing it because not everyone who adopts from China gets one of these. From my understanding, very few people do. We have not had it interpreted yet, but are planning to do so soon. It does appear to be a little out of order, as there is a point when the dates seem to jump back to her first year. Anyhow, here is the journal.

(click the image or here)

Adjusting

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-07T22:00:56-07:00

Well it certainly has been a while since I posted. Scott has been doing such a wonderful job at it, that I've enjoyed just sitting back and reading what he feels, and (I'm sure by default), what I also feel about so many things with our daughter.

Adjusting...now that's a bigger word than it sounds. Scott and I have been adjusting to the time difference again in the USA. We have been adjusting to having a toddler in the house. It's exhausting but it is so rewarding. Now, instead of taking an afternoon siesta on an occasional Sunday, we put Cady down for her nap daily and do a clean-sweep across the house, putting her toys away, and picking up the dish towels from the kitchen floor which she continually removes from the drawer, of which she has now claimed ownership. I'm adjusting to having a child under foot while making dinner, I haven't tripped over her yet. The dogs are adjusting to her yelling with glee then making all effort to squeeze their mugs when she sees them. The dogs digestive tracts are adjusting to the continual cheerios, apple chunks, broccoli, bananas, raisins and mashed potatoes that either hit the ground or are lovingly given to the dogs as a gesture of good will. And Cady is adjusting to the fact that she cannot eat the dog food that is constantly available, and at her level.

When I met Cady's nanny, and saw the journal in which she had written, with weekly or monthly pictures for the first 16 months of her life, I knew Cadence wouldn't have too many issues with adjustments or attachment. One of our most treasured items that we got for Cady while in China, was a globe, painted on the inside with our favorite picture of her and her nanny. Currently, this globe sits on the top of her closet, but some day she will have it sitting on her dresser or desk top. She will be able to look into it and be comforted in knowing that JiaRong kept her safe and cared about her while Cady waited for Mommy and Daddy to do all the paperwork.

We were both overwhelmed when we saw the artist's work. He did it overnight. We really have no idea how easily he was able to capture the moment in the picture with so little time to do it in. We thanked him deeply with the little bit of Mandarin that we know, when we saw his work. And he, in return, proud of the accomplishment, and glad that we were pleased. It was as if he knew the importance of this little treasure for our little girl.

As for adjusting, there is only one thing that really breaks Mommy's heart. Bedtime. Before we came home, she would cry with angst at bedtime. She would suck on a sheet or blanket till it was soaking wet, to soothe her nerves. We placed her crib in our bedroom so that we can tend to her quickly, and for bonding purposes. She is fine while in her crib, not knowing anyone is around. Almost too fine. She sometimes stays quiet, and we don't even know she's awake, for several minutes, possibly a half an hour. Then when she sees us or hears us stir, she immediately changes from a baby that is too quiet to a heart wrenching wail. When we go to her in the mornings to get her out of her crib, she clings to us. She sometimes is very groggy, but she NEEDS to be held, and loved, and cuddled, and kissed for a good 15 minutes. Sometimes if one of us gets her up, and puts her on the bed to cuddle with the other parent, she cries immediately, obviously thinking that she is going to be put to bed again. We did figure out that if we sit her on the bed, she is ok with it, but not if we lay her in the bed or put her down to crawl to the front of the bed.
We've been rocking her to sleep at night with a bottle, and assure her that she is loved. She loves the idea of the bottle, but she still complains when we sit down with her in a quiet living room, knowing that she will soon be going to bed. Some of these reactions are purely normal reactions that a 17 month old would have about going to bed, but I can't help but think that bed time was a time of being alone and scared and lonely at the orphanage. It was a time of solitude, not solace. It was a time of isolation, not relaxation. It was a time of despair, not contentment. I can't help but feel gratitude toward her nanny with everything that she did to make Cady feel wanted and loved and happy. And I realize that bedtime is a time of protest for most 17 month olds anyway, but I think she needs more time to adjust to knowing that bedtime is only a way to make tomorrow come a little bit faster. It still breaks my heart to know that she knows that she was so lonely at such a young age.

Why Adoption? Why China?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-07T13:16:03-07:00

Hello again everyone!

A couple of things to mention before the thick of the post. I reworked the site a little bit again, by popular demand, back to the butterflies. I just needed to rearrange things a bit so that the top navigation bar doesn't fill up and overlap. To do this I created a pictures link at the top. All of the pictures are still there, but all linked on their own page now. As I add new picture lists, others might get bumped over to the pictures page.

Karen will write sometime, though we're back to where we were before we left for China, and that's separate desks. Karen has hers and I have mine, and since she has a Windows system sitting on her desk (I've tried, I've tried), she can't post as easily as I can.

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So we often hear that those parents of international adoptees are asked those questions. Why adopt? Why China? Everyone has their own answers and their own comfort levels with discussing these things, as is their right. Karen and I, unlike many (not all, perhaps not even most) didn't have to adopt a child. We're both capable of having children as far as we know, but adoption just felt right to us. There are lots of things about Cady that we really have no perfect answers for, and so people who ask have to settle for that answer. It just felt right. For whatever reason people choose adoption, I think we're all in it together.

So why China? Why not adopt domestically? I've often answered that question with the facts that we learned after making the decision. U.S. law dictates that for a very long time (I can't remember exactly how long), the child's birth parents can change their mind about giving up their child and take her/him back. This is great for those parents, but does not consider the new parents who have now fallen in love with their child. It was always an easy answer at that time, until I read something interesting written by an adoptee from Korea with her own blog called Twice the Rice. I'm so thankful to have found this site, as it provides me with invaluable insight of my situation with my little girl. I learned so much from reading it, some things I had never considered, and some things I did not want to believe. I do believe now, and I feel better equipped for my journey with Cady. I will post a very powerful statement that she had written about this issue now. Note that I am doing this without her direct consent, so if she does object, I may have to re-write this.

"Who is safe? Why is choosing international vs. domestic adoption about feeling safe? Is that what they tell their adopted children? We wanted you. We chose you. Because if we had chosen an American child, we might not have been able to keep him. But not you. You were safe. Because nobody would want you back."

Wow. I try to learn new things every day, and this was quite the thing to learn. What we say to one person can be translated so differently to others. I feel so terrible that I took this easy route when trying to answer that question. Now the absolute truth (I have no need to lie to anyone about it) to Cady's story is actually different than the answer I was using. Karen and I never even considered domestic adoption. I don't know why, but the subject never came up. Even when I first mentioned to Karen the idea, the picture in my head was a little girl from China. Perhaps this was influenced from something I had read or saw on television at sometime in my life, or perhaps it was influenced by something greater, but the truth is that I didn't even imagine adopting from anywhere else, domestically or internationally. We were driving to visit her brother Marc and the rest of Karen's family on Thanksgiving 2004 and during that drive, I brought the subject up to Karen, we discussed it, and by the end of the day, we agreed that when we got home, we would start researching it to make a well informed decision.

So why have a child at all? It was Karen that actually put the idea into my head. I won't discuss her thoughts on any of it, as that is her story to write, but I will tell you what brought this into my own head. It was how often Karen would tell me that I would make a great Daddy. She thought I was good with kids, and at one point, she was a little sad in feeling that we wouldn't have that opportunity for our own together. This was years before making the decision. The moment on that drive is etched in my memory forever. I do know that when the idea was presented, Cady was exactly 1 month old. I don't believe in pure fate. I do believe that God, in all his/her forms, does present us with opportunities throughout our entire lives. Opportunities to be good or bad, opportunities to accept or decline, opportunities to succeed or to fail at. I think that this was God's way of saying "Hey Scott, I have this little girl here who needs a family. Do you think you're up for it?"

Well yes, God, I sure do.

When I was asked during one of our interviews at our adoption agency why we wanted a child from China, I answered truthfully. From this point on, I will not look for the easy answer for this question. Whenever anyone asks Karen or I why we adopted, and why we chose China, they will now have the real answer.

Because that's where our daughter was.

Now for those of you more visually inclined, here's a picture of my daughter wrestling a bear.

Random Thoughts

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-05T13:53:21-07:00

So we've had a few days. We've laughed, we've cried, we've colored. Time is insane.

At some points, time seems to move like expected. A couple of hours seems like a couple of hours. At other times, I'll look at the clock and wonder what happened to the last 3 hours. I never expected so see such a fluctation in the space/time continuum. Some people talk about having no time once the child is brought home. This isn't entirely true. There is quite a bit of time available, though the catch is that it only comes in 5-10 minute increments. There are quite a few of them, but they are small bursts of availability. This allows me time to write periodically. Karen will write too, but while all of this busy activity causes me to ponder (which allows me to write), it causes Karen's mind to be exhausted. this affects our downtime. During my brief rests, I need to write, and Karen needs to rest her weary brain.

Contrary to how it may appear, Karen and I are doing tasks fairly evenly. A lot of it is time management. Karen's experience is so critical at this stage. Daddy can change diapers, dress baby, feed baby, and entertain baby, but Mommy can do in 3 minutes what it takes Daddy 10. What we're doing at this time is focusing on those things that we do most efficiently, and Karen and I work on the things we are slower at as time permits. Often while Karen is making the dinner, doing the laundry, or working on the new paperwork that we now have to get done, I'm keeping Cady entertained. When I write it, it sure seems as though I have the nice job, but this too can be a challenge. I try very hard to keep Cady mentally stimulated during her play. Not too much mind you, as kids need to be kids too, but this is such a learning period that I don't want to miss out on any opportunities.

Cady and I have lots of fun, as seen below, with the camera on the computer. She loves looking at the pictures, and loves the twisted effects that the software allows.

Cady has developed a few favorite toys, one being her new walker/car thing with the farmer theme. I don't have pictures, but I'm sure it will be seen often enough in photos and video in the future. She likes her talking Pooh Bear, and then there is the oddity.

This was something that I received as a bonus for a game expansion (Ultima Online) many years ago, and it just sat on a shelf for a long time. Until the little girl saw it while on a house tour. If it is a reasonable request, my baby gets what she wants, and she wanted this. She has no idea what it is, and has no concept of what a monster is, so to her it's just shiny and bendable, and she likes it. That's good enough for me.

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The thing that troubles me the most through all of this is that I watch the calendar, and I see the days move by, and I know that the time is coming when I have to go back to work. Karen will be able to stay off of work for about a month later than me, but I feel so terrible about this. We brought this little girl out of a Social Welfare Institute (SWI) and soon enough we'll be putting her into child care. The differences between the two to me is both great and small. The SWI that Cady came from was very clean, very bright, and very colorful, and very fulfilling. Yes, I will always feel that we have done well by bringing Cady home with us, and I will never worry that she is in a far better place now than she would have been growing up there, but we are taking her from one institution, and now looking at bringing her into another one.

It sucks, and it feels unfair to everyone in our family.

I make good money at what I do, but Karen is the real bread winner in this family. I only wish there was some way that I could stay at home with my daughter forever. The area in which we live is supposed to have very good public schools (we could never afford private) but Cady is so smart that I don't think she could ever reach her potential in a public school. I have every confidence that I could home school her and teach her so much more than she can learn in a public school. Sadly our income only barely exceeds our expenses, and much of this is expenses that cannot be cut at all (debts).

It causes me duress to no end. I wanted this child so that I could shape a mind. So I could share with her all the love that Karen and I have to give, and all the knowledge that we have to impart to her. I know there is much we can still do in our situation, but I don't know if I can ever convince myself that I will be doing everything that can be done.

...and thus ends another breakdown. Thanks for listening.

Stella!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-04T14:47:28-07:00

When you step outside of the White Swan from the ground floor (back entrance) out to the shopping areas, turn to your right, and walk straight out past the Bank of China, you will bump into a doorway to some shop that does paintings. Rather than go into that shop, follow the walk to the left, and you will reach another tourist shop that's kind of on a corner of sorts that sells virtually anything that you can buy from all of the other shops. If you cross any of the roadways, you will have missed it (though it is quite large and well lit).

I mention this shop for one reason. Stella.

At virtually any of the shops in Guangzhou, you can barter the price down. Sometimes they even start the bargaining for you with "Normally it costs this much, but I will let you have it for this much, just for you". As I mentioned, if you look at the differences in special pricing from one thing to the next, and take the most expensive "special price" and compare it to the least expensive, we're talking about 50 cents in U.S. dollars. It's not really that much. I have no idea if the prices in this shop were more or less than I could get at others because once we met Stella (standing in at about 4'3"), we were hooked. Every person in every shop will ask about your children, and they will really be interested. They love the kids, or at least put on a convincing show. Stella was either the very best at this, or was truly interested in the kids, or at least Cady.

There was a time when we were waiting for our bus outside the Bank of China, and she was heading to work. She took the time to stop to say hello to both us and the kids, and even trusted Macy with her cell phone/music player. She trusted Macy far more than anyone else did, as a 16 month old child is as likely to throw something as she is to dance to it, but there was no concern on this woman's face as Macy walked away with the phone to her ear.

Stella asked a lot of questions, and really seemed to want to understand everything we were doing. It never really felt as if she was only trying to generate more sales for the shop. We just started visiting her shop to get what we wanted. Just like we do in the states, I will pay more for good service, and friendly people. At the end of our trip, we spent some time just talking with Stella, and she never even tried to sell us other things. She just listened and talked with us. She insisted on our way out that she could take a picture with us, and so we stood back to let her pose with Cady. "No no" she said, "With all of you together."

We gave her our email addresses, and she later emailed the picture to us as well as offering us good wishes. Stella is a friend.

If you're still Guangzhou bound, feel free to print out this picture in advance, go to the shop, and ask for Stella. Show her the picture, I am sure she will remember, and I am also sure she will then give you a good price on the things in the store, "just for you".

Visiting Work

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-03T16:45:53-07:00

Ok beyond some difficulty in keeping a sleep schedule for this part of the world, Cady seems completely adjusted. Our agency has sent us lots of paperwork with things to watch for and prepare for, such as tantrums, moodiness, and a change in eating habits. Sounds to me like a growing toddler anywhere. Cady has no real issues with anything right now, and we have broken many of the guidelines offered to us. On our very first night, we asked Kris and Paul to come over, mostly because I desperately needed help in returning the rental car and claiming that luggage that beat us to Sacramento by 4 hours. We spent a few hours together, playing and talking, and Cady absolutely loved having them around. Both Kris and Paul are very good with kids, and have all of the animated sounds and expressions that kids adore, and Cady loved having them around. She still knew who Mommy and Daddy were though, so we had no issues at all.

Within a few days of arriving back home, I even succumbed to pressure to bring her in to work to visit. There is a great concern about introducing the children to lots of strangers, as they can become confused about who their parents are. I saw no confusion with Cady at all. Each time she went near another adult, she would look to me for approval. Each time someone held her (she chose who could and couldn't) she would first look to me to see if it would be ok, and then when she was put back down, she would first come back to Daddy, then wander around a little more, always staying close. With the large number of adults this child was exposed to, the confusion of kids everywhere, lots and lots of noise around, it seemed a good match to the sales floor at Apple.

So there you have it. Pictures here.

On the developmental front, I'm struggling a lot with this one. I keep trying to find some comparison to where Cady should fit. The tough thing is looking at boxes for toys and such, looking at the age group, then seeing how well she works with that item. I don't think this process is going to work right. I think she is very bright, and she seems to have a grasp for some things beyond her age range. Then at other times, she struggles with toys for children much younger. We got her a pull toy dog that makes yipping sounds as it rolls. Cady just picks it up and carries it wherever she wants it to be, then gets bored with it because it doesn't really do anything. Now I have tried to think of what this means.

Could it mean that she is too logical for the toy? Why take so much time dragging this thing behind, when it's much faster to just pick it up and go where we want to go.

Could it mean that she doesn't grasp the concept of this kind of activity? It's possible that in her orphanage setting, they didn't have toys like this. Add to that, Cady may have never seen a child with a pull toy. Mommy and Daddy try to demonstrate these things, but let's face it, she knows we are not children. She knows we are different, and, hopefully, she knows already that we are Mommy and Daddy, and what that all means.

Could it mean that we have effectively overstimulated her by giving her too many toys at the start. I think I read somewhere that this could be an issue, and could encourage a lot attention span on the child, as they have so many other things they want to experience too.

Could it just mean that she is only 17 months old, and seeing a toy for the first time rather than at the minimum age recommended for this toy. She needs more than 15 minutes before her over-reactive Dad starts reading too much into it, and begins searching the internet for learning disabilities.

I mention these things as a lighthearted example specifically as how these children can be very much like those raised here, yet different in many ways. As it stands, what I think I will be trying more is simply ignoring those age recommendations, and if Cady seems to like it, we'll get it for her, though that ridable motorized Barbie Cadillac may not make it home unless Daddy qualifies for a low interest motorized car loan.

As always, it's wonderful to share with you all, and we appreciate having you around to keep reading.

Thank you.

Picasso? Massine? Dali?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-02T20:17:46-07:00

Perhaps not yet, but we're not letting something like being only 17 months old, and only being in the United States for 4 full days stifle her creativity. To give credit where it is due, the idea came by way of the wonderfully talented Sophie, who I have been silently adoring since I ran across her blog about 5 or 6 months ago. Sophie has done her first painting, and her and her family are very proud of it.

Now, I would have gotten around to this soon enough, but Sophie's painting did remind me about it so off we went to get some supplies for Cady. We bought paints for her, though even I think it might be just a bit early for painting (Cady's A-yi Kris might be trying soon enough though).

No, we decided to start out with crayons.

So Daddy turned on some Bach (Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 in G/Allegro) and off we went. The first few minutes were spent exploring the crayons themselves, as I am certain that she had never seen those things. Once she got the hang of that, she studied the colors a little, and with a little assistance, she started figuring out what to do. As the real first drawing consisted of a lot of Mommy and Daddy's help, we put that aside and gave her a fresh piece of paper once she was running full speed.

The end result? Well you can see for yourself.

Daddy wasn't expecting trees, flowers, or rainbows yet, but I had hoped to see her studying the colors more on paper. she may be more musically inclined as some of that on the paper was because she was tapping the crayons to the music.

Or maybe I am just trying to elevate her too fast.

Either way, if she hadn't enjoyed it, I wouldn't have pushed her to keep going. She had fun, and even knew when a page was done and needed a new one.

(update: adding video in)
4 minutes, 03 seconds

I'll write again soon.

Independant little girl

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-01T04:55:40-08:00

So here's a video clip from one of our nights in Guangzhou. Once this little girl figures out that she can do something on her own, there is no stopping her. At that point, she doesn't want help from anyone. She got the spoon a little off, and her aim needs some work, but you just have to reward enthusiasm like this.

It was harder to find music I liked for this one, but I think in the end I was able to get it right.

For those new to the site, or those wanting to look back at previous months postings, just look for the month listings (Feb, Mar) on the left side there.

Congratulations, It's a U.S. Citizen

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-30T10:55:21-08:00

So yesterday was our flight home. What a test of human stamina and endurance. I managed to go the entire trip without taking in the water, with tight mouthed showers and an extra vigilance in staying away from the glasses of water and ice. Everything went well until the last night in Guangzhou. I don't know what I took into my body to cause this, but it happened. Without going into details (you really don't want that) I will tell you that the illness lasted about 7 hours, and ended with a.. well, like I said, you don't want details.

Sadly, this sick period coincided with the time we needed to be packing for coming home. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife that did all of the work. Truth be told, she would have had to do most of it anyhow, as she would have wanted to know where everything was packed, and to know how safe everything was as packed, but if not sick, I would have been able to at least do what I was told (See, both a good Daddy and a good husband!)

Morning came fast, though I was waking up every hour or so because of, well, you know, that sickness mentioned above, and we got downstairs, fed baby, finished checkout and got on the bus to the airport. Everything working out just fine and on time, right? Now you might think this is all going too smooth, right? I know that I felt that things were going too well. So how did it go? Let's find out, shall we?

The flight to Hong Kong went very well. Cady took it all in stride, and all in all it was pretty normal. No real issues at all.

Here's a picture of us in the Hong Kong Airport waiting for our big flight to San Francisco. Karen and I were both tired from the previous night, and I was still queasy from the sickness, but we were doing alright. Besides, we would be able to sleep on the plane, right?

No. Not even remotely close.

You see, on a plane with lots of adopted children, there was occasional crying, and some fussing, but all around very peaceful except for one child. This child was not crying though, but he was screaming. Not the kind of screaming that is accompanied by crying, but that "I want it now" scream. Not a scream that you could adjust to either. I describe this not metaphorically, or in any exaggeration. Imagine a skyrocket whistling from the ground into the sky. That loud, ear piercing whistle as it heads to the sky. Now imagine that skyrocket not leaving the ground, but just sitting there whistling, screaming at you from 10 feet away. Now imagine this screaming lasting not 10 seconds, but lasting 30 or more seconds, only stopping for the child to gather up enough breath for another. Imagine these bursts lasting for 20 minutes or more, with occasional breaks of up to 30 minutes at the most. Imagine this all lasting for the entire 11 hour flight.

Initially I felt for the mother, and I even told Karen something like "It's not her fault. She just got the child and is learning how to deal with these things" until she pointed out an important point. This was not an adopted child. It was her biological son. Now, I'm definitely not one to judge another person's parenting, particularly since I am just now starting my own journey as a real parent. Who knows what mistakes I will make, and what damage I may do to my own daughter. This is different. I really believe that you cannot raise a child from the womb to have him turn out like this without doing something very very wrong. My sympathy for this woman was gone. Cady slept some on the flight, but this screaming was even waking up the other children. Children raised in an orphanage. Children who sleep while 50+ other babies cried continually.

Once again, Karen was the big trooper. Even though Cady did sleep some, the screaming made for a very fitful rest for her, so she was tossing a lot. I tell you this right now, you would be foolish to not buy a seat for your child at least on this flight home. On one of these big planes, it is rare, but the plane can literally drop 300 feet very rapidly. Rapidly enough to cause a non-belted child to fly into the air, then land with an impact that could kill them. It did not happen on our flight, but it can happen. For more practical reasons, having the extra space to change diapers, sit the baby, and breathe was worth the cost of the ticket. Anyhow, because of this restlessness, Karen stayed awake for the flight to ensure that even when sleeping, Cady would not roll off of the seat. I managed some sleep, getting in 30-60 minute drifts. We didn't know it at the time, but it would come in handy later on.

Landing in San Francisco, we proceeded to the Immigration line to get the magical stamp, making Cady a U.S. Citizen. Know in advance that these people do not seem to have any joy in their job. One person who was doing the paperwork sounded very Hispanic, and the other one helping her was Asian, yet neither of them even had a hint of excitement at the fact that our beautiful angel was becoming a citizen. Stamp, stamp, flip flip, hereyougothankyouverymuch. You're not allowed to even take pictures there because it is an immigration service, so we couldn't even do that. Even though our next destination was Sacramento, because it was an international flight, we had to get all of our bags and take them through customs. This is what everyone has to do with every flight coming into the country, so it was not a special thing, just a very annoying one. So we're a quick 1 hour flight from home. We're exhausted, but so close to home, a warm soft bed, real food, and the beginning of our new lives together. Only a 1 hour flight.

Cancelled.

They cancelled our flight to Sacramento. Not delayed, but completely cancelled. I absolutely hate United Airlines. These people will take every opportunity to blame weather and flight control to catch up from their own incompetence. They never take responsibility for their own lack of efficiency. Rather than actually work hard to catch up the flights that are delayed, they just chose to cancel one. Even after that, they still ended up an hour behind, then having to delay other flights. "It's ok though," they told us. "We have you booked for the 10:30 PM flight to Sacramento." That would be in 12 hours.

The United Airlines staff then got to meet Mama and Papa Bear. They finally told us that there was a 12:30 flight that they had under-booked. Now under-booked really only means that they did not over book it, and had just enough seats sold as were on the plane. Chances slim, but we were assured that we, having a very hungry child, 2 diapers left, and parents that were running on about 18 hours awake, would get priority on any vacant seats. So we waited. We had no choice. We could either try to get our checked luggage (with what was left of our diapers and dry cereal) and have to go through all of the check-in again, or try to wait it out. So Cady got cereal mixed with cold water while Mommy and Daddy struggled to stay awake. 12:30 came, and guess what? This flight was now delayed, and slated to board at 1:30. So again we waited. I went to the counter about every 20 minutes to ask them if we were wasting our time waiting, or if we should try to call someone from Sacramento to come get us. This would have been another 4 hours to get home if we could find someone able to leave work and drive out to get us. Finally we were told that everyone who had a ticket had checked in but one person, and that the priority would go to the person with the most express miles or something. We were not getting on this flight. We had no options left. Well we could get our bags and go to a hotel and sleep, then try to sort it out the next day or something with fresh minds.

Nope. We couldn't get on that plane, but they sure managed to put our bags on it. They were on their way to Sacramento.

Ugh. What could we do??

Well in a mindless haze, not even sure if we were thinking properly, we rented a car. I drove to Sacramento after not sleeping for 20 hours or more. We made one stop to get something for Cady to snack on, and some caffeine for myself, but we made it to Sacramento. We didn't even bother to go to the airport for the luggage, as we would then be wanting to drop off the car. Well we still had no way to get from the Airport to home. There was the shuttle, but my best 2 ladies had been through enough. I took them straight home.

At home, we called our best friends and complete saviors Paul and Kris, and they came over from work (yes we used our baby to draw them over) and took me to turn in the car and get the luggage. I hadn't been able to eat all day due to the sickness from the previous day, so I was on no food and no sleep, and now no mind. I was riding on pure instinct, and that was failing me too.

Thanks only to them, we managed to get everything done, and we could then rest in our own beds...

...at least until morning.

Welcome to Chapter Two

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-30T09:56:13-08:00

Well here it is, the official starting point for Chapter Two of the Cady Chase. At the top of the page (left sidebar) you will see the link back to Chapter One, our magical adoption days.