The Cady Chase

First, let me start off with a few pictures that are way overdue.




Cady had a sweet Easter. Scott held a stuffed bunny in the bay window, in the front yard, and knocked on the window as he crouched. Of course, Cady assumed it was the EB incarnate! She was so excited to see the Easter Bunny that, when he 'hopped' into the front yard bushes, she became a bit anxious and yelled out for him to come back. That soon turned to pure joy when we ventured outside to see that he had left her with Easter goodies. Candies, a few good books, and baby carrots (Hey, she likes them. Why ruin a good thing?)

We then ventured to our new home. It was a walk that took us only 6 doors down. We finally bought our first home, and it's 6 houses away from where we were before. This house was a God send, of that I'm sure. But it might as well have been 60 miles down the road. In fact, the move might have been easier on us.
With only 6 doors down, it's easy to fool oneself into believing that you always have time to pack. After all, you can just take the items in your car, or by foot in the kid's wagon, and eventually you'll get it all moved in. Well, let me emphesize the word eventually. Two moving days, fifteen car loads, two Uhaul truck trips, twenty-five + walking trips, one trip to the dump, four good friends and one son's help later and we are all moved in. Oh, and by the way......You probably should not assume that large black garbage bags are good for hauling items to save the expense of purchasing more boxes. You will NEVER find the one item that you know is in one of those bags when you need it the most.
We were going to move two weeks earlier, but came across a few snags. Have you ever lived out of boxes (and big black garbage bags) for two weeks? In any event, we are now in our new home, and it all worked out for the best. We got an excellent loan, and a very good price on the house.
The neighbors are all wonderful. We've met three of them already while we were unpacking. Oddly, around the corner, and six doors down, we only really knew one neighbor family and the lady across the street. Strange how on this street (just around the corner) people seem to be in a different neighborhood. Perhaps it's because the woman that used to live here seemed so well loved by them. Or perhaps it's just a different set of people around the corner. Whatever it is, we feel very blessed to be here and to be in our new home. And one that's finally ours.

Cady is now in dance classes at preschool. She thoroughly enjoys it. And although she is among the youngest in the class, she seems to follow along enough for the dance teacher to want her to perform with the older children.

Here's a preview of the routine they're working on for a recitle they'll perform on Saturday.




Break time?



This is bound to be an interesting (but damn cute) event.

We've been extremely busy getting all the paperwork together for daughter #2. By the way, we're pretty sure we've decided on a name for her, but we want to make absolutely sure that's her name before announcing it. But, that's for anohter entry.
In the mean time, Scott put together a really cute video of Cadence enjoying her birthday cake on her second birthday.

A little late, but I just wanted an excuse to post these pictures.
We went to a friend's home for Thanksgiving, and she found the mirror. She was being way too cute to not display the pictures on the blog


I've also found that she smiles the most when she is running, jumping or doing gymnastic activity. That makes it so difficult to photograph her smiling!





If we ask her to smile, it usually looks like this


Hmmmmm.Ya think it's a family trait?



Then, there are many other times when she's so intrigued with something else, that she completely ignores my calls of attention for the camera. These pictures definitely tell that story.


But every once in a while, when she's genuinely happy, without being active, we get one of these shots for the camera, and I realize how stunningly beautiful my daughter truly is.

We finally did it, and we have Cady to blame for it. We bought a Christmas tree this year. Scott and I have been married for 4 years now, and although we both enjoy this time of year, and we both celebrate Christmas, we have not had a Christmas tree. Every year, I say we're going to get a boxed tree in January, because they are less expensive then. And somehow we just never have.
But this year was different. We bought one, BEFORE January, and paid full price for it too.
Cady loves, loves, LOVES the tree. She wanted to be right in the middle of it all when Scott was putting it together.

Love that intense stare!


She also helped with the ornaments. When she put the ice cycles on, she twisted them to get a more shiny effect. That's my girl. She loves the look of bling bling, even if it's only on a tree.


But what did she like the most about trimming the tree? Yep, the bubble wrap that came with the box.



Yanno, this could make for a very inexpensive Christmas if we just go the cardboard box and bubble wrap route!

....So, there I was, getting ready for work. Cady was already dressed, except for her shoes, and our morning routine was unfolding. I walked into the garage to get yogurt out of the garage refrigerator, for Cady to take with her to school. The door leading to the garage shut behind me. No biggie. The door leading to the garage always shuts behind me.

But then, it happened.

A few sounds of twisting metal on metal....and then silence. I moved to open the door and it wouldn't open.

"Cady?" "Cady! twist the handle." "Cady??"

She had, in her infinite wisdom, or more likely...out of curiosity, locked the deadbolt on the door. I spent the next several minutes calling her name, and wondering if she was alright. I could hear her through the door, scurry around at times, but she was not responding to my calls out to her. Of course, my mind was racing with the worst case scenarios. What if she falls and bumps her head? What if she jumps head first into the empty bathtub, and passes out? What if she gets into something poisonous that I somehow forgot to leave out of her reach? I kept calling out for her but she was not responding the way I had hoped.

I had considered calling 911 on my cell phone, and imagined them busting in the door to get to her. But, all I needed was a house key. Instead I called Scott, as he works only a few minutes away from home, and I knew he had the coveted key. I figured he would probably be able to get here sooner than anyone else, anyway. "Relax", I told myself. The odds were very low that something really dreadful would happen to her before Scott's arrival. But I had to get into the house. That was for real.

I went around to the backyard, and continued to call Cady's name from the window. It was cold. I was barefoot. My neighbors were probably still in bed, and if they were not up yet, I was surely going to wake them with my calls out to Cady from the backyard.

Finally!!!! I saw her cute little red, sparkly shoes coming toward me from the hall to the family room. She had spent the past several minutes in her bedroom, looking for, and putting on, her cute little red, sparkly shoes. But, of course. That was why she'd been so quiet. She gave me a half smile and looked down at her shoes then back at me. We had eye to eye contact, but were communicating two entirely different messages to each other. I was instructing her to twist the lock on the door knob, while she was using body language that said, "Look what I did!" as she glanced at her feet and back at me again.

I gave a sigh and looked in at her. I could relax a bit. My baby was okay. And, she had put on her own shoes. And she was so damn cute! I smiled back at her. But I still had this little issue of being outside of my house at 6:45 am, and her being inside. OK, so reality wasn't as cute as it had appeared to be a few seconds earlier.

"Cady, go to the garage door and unlock it. Go to the door in the garage and twist the knob." Did she even know what I was saying? Flashbacks of Pirates of the Caribbean, at Disneyland swirled through my head. I recalled the image of the dog with the keys in his mouth, wagging his tail, as the pirate tried to entice the dog toward them to unlock the jail door. But, she did walk away, and into the hall, toward the garage. I went back to the garage and attempted again to open the door. It WORKED! She had unlocked the door.

Ha! I knew all those puzzles I'd gotten for her were good for her hand/eye coordination. And that one puzzle with the locks and levers on it, well that one was the especially good for her learning skills. I knew I had made a great choice with that puzzle! And Scott had said that particular puzzle was not a good idea, because it could get her into trouble. Pffffffft! Hmmmm.......Well, alright, so maybe he had a good point. Nah. Never mind, she would have eventually learned how to lock the door anyway.

I called Scott again, and told him not to leave work.
And today, instead of going to work to participate in the Monday morning rat races, it was an unexpected vacation day for me.
Trust me, I needed it.

Mom and Dad and Two are playing with playdough
Mom: Can I have some of your green?
Two: (using her best reasoning skills) NO! Yucky!
Mom: Please?
Two: (realizing "yucky" didn't work) No. Mine.

Two gets Daddy's play-dough, shaped like a snake:
Mom and Dad: Snake!
Two: Yes, poopie snake!

Two breaks Daddy's play-dough snake on purpose:
Two: OOPSIE! Broken....TWO!!! TWO!!!

Mom and Two are playing in the playhouse
Mom: Is it time for nap?
Two: No, Mama. No nap!
Mom: Go give Daddy kisses and tell him, "Nap time".
Two: (ignores Mom)
Mom: Better run, I'm gonna get you!
Two: (SQUEALS AND RUNS)
Two: (runs to Dad and gives him a kiss then tries to play with his computer)

Two trying to play with the dog's toys
Two: My turn....My turn...My turn!!!

Two singing ABCs
Two: A...B..C...D....ecko.....I
Mom: (repeating the song, with E F G...)
Two: (in her best singing voice) Aaa...Bbb....Ccc...Dddd...eck-ooo.....IIIIIIIII

Mom getting a snack for Two:
Mom: Want something to eat?
Two: (eyes widen)
Mom: Come on..Let's get a snack.
Mom: (goes toward the kitchen while Two wanders toward the garage)
Two: Nogert...Nogert...Nogert? NOGERT!! (starts to panic as she says Nogert!)
Mom: (wanders down the hall toward Two)
Mom: What?
Two: (crying) Noooo-gerrrrrrt!
Dad: She says she wants yogurt from the refrigerator in the garage.
Mom: Ohhh...Yogurt!
Two: (giggles as if nothing was wrong a second ago)
Two: OHH...KAY! Nogert.

At the computer:
Mom: (trying to type this entry)
Two: (creeps up Moms lap)
Mom: (lets Two sit in her lap, but negotiates her hand to the keyboard)
Two: (cries) No, Mama!
Mom: (ends this post)
Two: (off to another adventure) Get it...Get it!

And I wouldn't change a thing:
Two: (in bed and zonked out)
After a full day of the sun and the moon revolving around her, she's now fast asleep and Mom already misses her.

Mom: (sneaks in to Two's bedroom, realigns her lop-sided body, pulls the covers up, gazes down at her, and whispers) I love you to the moon....and back again

Cady woke up this morning knowing that something very special was going to happen. She knew it was going to be Halloween. She slept in her "ghouls rule" shirt, then insisted on wearing it under her flower costume when she woke up for school this morning. The flower costume was for school because we didn't want her fairy costume to rip or get damaged at school. I think she loved wearing them both.


At preschool, some of the parents organized a "trick or trunk" event, and the children got to parade around the school getting goodies from decorated car trunks. After I picked her up from school, she was singing and telling me all about Halloween. I know that she was talking about Halloween because in between her sentences of babble, she would say, "Hallow-Ween!" She practiced saying, "trick or treat" again and again as we drove home....although, it came out more like "Dum-E-Dum"

But, after dinner, she turned into a fairy. If ever there was a child that truly had fairy dust in her blood it would have to be this child. She ran around the house as we took turns capturing this mischievous pixie, to dress her for the evening events. And she laughed and ran. Each time, getting another layer of fairy clothing placed onto her, then slipping away again.




We managed to get our pixie dressed into character, finally.



Then, off to our friends, Kris and Paul's house (and surrounding area) to collect goodies.
"Trick or Treat" was heard all the way to our friend's house.....then....after arriving there....Silence.
All the practiced words turned into pixie dust.



She knew where the candy was, but she wasn't going to say, "Dum E Dum" NOPE! She was not going to say those magical words that produce candy, regardless of the way she might pronounce it.



So, we went to a few doors, and just stood there after the people answered their doors. It's a good thing that she enchanted them with her fairy ways, or that pumpkin bucket would have remained empty.

It was a sweet evening. Her first Halloween, and we loved every memory in the making.



~*~*~*~ Ni-night, my sweet li'l pixie ~*~*~*~

Nothing says fashion like a pair of sunglasses......or a bucket


Trying on cousin Heather's sunglasses, April, '06



June, '06
WOW! These sunglasses are AMAZING at keeping the sun out of your eyes!


Here, Mommy. Try them on!


On a walk with Mommy, July '06




Playing at the park, September, '06
We brought the other sunglasses, just in case. And found out that it has more than one function.

Two birthdays in one 24 hour period....WOW.

Scott's birthday was very simple. He got a card from Cady, and an online game that he's been wanting...And got a play-all-day-if-you-want ticket from Cady and me. But that free ticket happens to be today, because he worked on his birthday.







I'll spare you the really cheezy smile pose that Scott gave me when he turned around.

Cady got a few more presents than her daddy did. In fact, we kind of went overboard. The intention was to save a few for Christmas, but Scott kept saying that this is her first birthday with us, so he wanted to spoil her a bit..and that we did.




She got a new tricycle, of which she is extremely proud. In the late afternoons, she sees older kids riding bikes as she peers outside of the living room window, and for the past month, she's watched them and looks at us with wanting eyes, to which she exclaims loudly, "Bike!!"

She also got this really cool tent which was intended to take the place of a 3x3 box that we've had in the living room since March when we first brought her home. It didn't look so big in the picture. But this thing is HUGE! We have to put it on the other side of the living room. All of her bigger stuffed animals fit in it, along with a chair, and the Dora sofa. And there's still room for Cady and us. Yep, it's really huge. It takes up an entire window on the side of the living room and it appears now to be a fixed piece of furniture in there. Our friend Paul asked if it counts as a room addition with the county assessor. I'm afraid to find out.





She spent some quality time with our good friends, Kris and Paul...who also arrived with more presents and shared Cady's birthday cake. They gave her a froggy towel, which she adores, and some pink converse high tops...TOO CUTE! (more pictures to come later.)




And her friend Kai sent her a Stinky Mouse, just like his, which she insists on taking for rides on her trike. Thank you, Kai! Cady loves her new Stinky Mouse. When she comes to visit, she will be sure to bring her Stinky Mouse with her.



The entire 24 hours could be best summed up by these final two pictures: It was a time as sweet as cake.




Happy BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOUUUUUUU (both of my sweeties)

Tiny's lawn is a bit yellowed. The plants in her flower pots are a bit withered. She doesn't have the newest car on the block. And she can usually talk your ear off. But ohhh, Tiny's heart is as good as gold. Tiny lives directly across the street from us. Since the day we brought Cady home, Tiny has been so nice to her. She gave Cady her first child's rocking chair and a tea party set within a week of coming home from China. She looks at Cady and smiles as a grandma would smile at her granddaughter. If you've ever seen picures of Cady on the front lawn, waving into the distance, she's probably waving to Tiny's front door, and saying. "Tiny's house!"
It's nice to know that there are Tinys in this world who make kids feel special.

Cady's first Halloween with us is just around the corner. Our dancing fairy is going to be....., well...., you've guessed it, a fairy. She's not really sure of the costume yet, but she likes the idea. We have a huge, framed picture that hangs in the hall just beyond her bedroom. It's a beautiful picture with lots of fairies and elves playing around a pond with animals. As I held her up to view the picture while she was still in the costume, she looked at it, and pointed to the green fairy. She identified herself as looking like that fairy. But, instead of mentioning that she looked like the fairy, she said just the opposite. She pointed to the green fairy and announced, "Two Cadys!"

I love the logical process of a two year old mind. And I'm thoroughly loving this child as she turns two.



As for Halloween, she likes the idea of collecting candy and other goodies, just for asking. And she caught on very quickly as to the purpose of the pumpkin bucket. But we're still practicing the whole process of knocking on the door and saying, "Trick or treat".

Fortunately, we have a few more days to polish that one.

Cady's birthday is October 26th. She's going to be two years old. However, we've kind of been celebrating all month with her. It started when she learned how to sing Happy Birthday to Mommy. Scott practiced singing the song with her for many nights while I was at work, before my birthday on September 2nd. In case you missed it, here is a video of the results, the day before my birthday. Click here

Last weekend we went to Toys R Us for birthday presents, and gave her a doll stroller to keep her from wanting to see the rest of the gifts. I never knew that $9.98 would be such a priceless gift for her. She strolls her dolls around the house every moment she gets.



So, now she likes the Happy Birthday song. Especially when it means a surprise gift accompanies the song. My dad and step-mom were visiting at the beginning of this month. They had not met Cady yet, so this was their first get-to-know-you time. They decided to get her a birthday gift, even though her birthday was not for a few more weeks. We all sang Happy Birthday to Cady directly before she opened the gift, and her eyes lit up with magic. It was a Tickle Curious George, which she adores. And a Dora couch, which she also enjoys. It's funny that even though Dora's Hispanic, it's become a good "identity" toy for Cady. The Dora figure looks Chinese. And there aren't that many Chinese dolls out there, so we take what we can get.






She spent quality time with Grandpa reading her adoption book and Grandma painting her nails. But I think what she was enchanted with the most was meeting her Uncle Micah. Micah was adopted from South Korea when he was Cady's age. I really don't know if it was because they both have Asian eyes, or if they have an unspoken affinity and bond because of their similar pasts, or if it was because Micah was so gentle with her that she enjoyed his presence, but the two of them were intrigued with each other. At one point, she laid down in Micah's lap and the two of them just stayed very still and stared at each other. It was as if both of them were thinking that if they moved, the other would no longer be in the moment. So they stayed there quietly sharing each other's company for the longest time.



When we talk about family members now, as soon as I mention Micah, Cady chimes in and says, "Micah....nice!"

This week's challenge...
Reinterpretation of Classic Art

Scott created this one a couple of months back. When he created it, he also mentioned that it looks similar to M. C. Escher's work.


Here is the original picture: Cady and Mommy, strolling in July





Left picture: M.C. Escher's Hand with Reflecting Sphere
Right picture: C.F. Andersen's Hands with Revolving Flowers

Ready.....



Set.....



GO!!!

Sometimes, Cady cries at night, in the middle of the night. Perhaps she bumps her head on her crib rails, or maybe she has a bad dream, and awakens from it, wanting comfort. I'm not really sure. When we hear it on the video monitor while in bed, and I'll go into her bedroom to comfort her. I'll usually start with patting he on the back, and telling her it's all okay. If someone were to tell me that their child woke up, I'd say that it's probably better if you don't pick her up. Just pat her on the back and she'll be fine.

For some reason, that doesn't usually work with Cady. I say, "for some reason", but I think I know the reason.
Last night, she cried and I went in to comfort her, patting her on the back. She kept crying until finally she called out to me. I picked her up and she leaned heavily into my chest and shoulder as I swayed back and forth to comfort her, and she settled down quickly. After a bit of time, I told her that she's going back to bed and she accepted the idea without argument.

She doesn't wake at night often, but it does happen. No amount of comforting or patting on the back will do. In fact, it usually irritates her and tends to wake her further in her frustration. As I consider her past, I realize the possible reasons that she's more agitated and stressed when I do not pick her up to comfort her. Most likely, when she was in the orphanage, no-one picked her up at night. It's very practical when you consider all the children that might cry or simply fuss at night after being startled for whatever reason while in their cribs. But, when they're babies, they need to be held at night. I can't be certain that she wasn't, but it makes sense.

For some children, patting them on the back will work when they awaken. They might not like it, but eventually they learn the pattern and fall back asleep with the knowledge that their parent is there. With all the times that I've tried to do that to get her to go back to sleep, I know that will not work for her. She needs to be held during these times. She needs to feel me close to her. And then she's okay.

We'll never really know what she had to endure while in the orphanage, and most likely neither will she. It will all be forgotten. Without showing her pictures of her time in China, or of her nanny, she would forget consciously that any of that time occurred at all. But I do know that this little girl was brave. I know that she comforted herself at times when most children are comforted by parents. I know that she faced the unknown - head on, and this made her stronger.



Look at her face in this picture. It was taken soon after she was delivered to the hotel, just minutes before we met her. This is not the face of a weak child. She looks so brave. She was taken away from her nanny, the only comfort she had known for 16 months, and brought to the hotel with another nanny and the director of the orphanage. I don't know of any 16 month old children that could be taken away from their mommy, on to a bus, and to a new place without crying out. She didn't cry that day at all, except for the short time that she saw me crying with joy. After about an hour, she was almost in a catatonic state of mind, but she did not cry. She obviously did not have the capability to use words at that age. She could not understand all that was happening or why it was happening. But she did not cry. She looks lonely and scared in this picture, but she also looks as if she's willing to take on whatever comes her way.

That's how Cady is. She is strong, and capable. And when I say that living in an orphanage for 16 months made her stronger, that's exactly what I mean. She has an inner strength that's indescribable. But I also know that every once in a while, she needs to be reassured that she no longer has to face life alone. I know that when she cries at night, patting her on the back does not comfort her. In these incidents, picking her up and letting her hold me is not only the right decision but it's a healthy decision, and one that makes her even stronger.

To this day, I'm in awe of our little girl's capacity to not only cope, but to embrace life with all that comes her way.

Most of the time, you'll find that this space is reserved for Cady and our family escapades. But, on occasion, something will catch my attention and I'll feel compelled to bring it to this blog. The viewing of the following video is one of those times. I first saw the link for this video when I was viewing another blog a month or two ago (forgive me for not recalling whos-if it was yours, give a shout)

Sarah McLachlan has such a beautiful voice, and the lyrics in her songs are usually eloquently stated. She's one of the few high profile artists who understands that her popularity can be a platform for powerful and thought provoking messages.

World On Fire

This video, in particular, captures that description about her public personality so well.

Cathy,

WOW, you remembered that Cadence's birthday is in October! I'm flattered that you took the time to consider that.
You are so dear, and we feel very blessed to have bumped in to you and your family while we were at the hotel in Hefei and again in Guangzhou at the White Swan Hotel. It was such a bazaar encounter, and one that I think was pre-destined to happen.
You really have no idea how precious the pictures are that you took of Cady on the day that we met her, but before we actually did.
The pictures are priceless.

As for Macy's or Anne Marie's parents, we lost their emails when we had gotten a virus on our computers and had to reformat everything. We're hoping to get the email information from our agency to get updates on the other girls.

Thanks again, for everything.

Karen.

After we started the adoption process, and before our documents were sent to China, we thought for sure we would be getting our daughter by September '05. In fact, we were so sure of it, that we had cards created announcing that we would be expecting her referral in September, and sent it out to all of our friends and relatives.

September turned in to October, which turned in to November, which turned in to December....January 06 came along, then we received our referral in the end of January 06. In fact, it was really January 29th to be precise, so you can really consider it a February referral. February '06 was five LONG months from our first thought of September '05.

The upside was that we had more time to build our finances for the adoption, but it was so hard....so very hard to wait. It's a difficult concept to explain to anyone that hasn't been through it before. If you could imagine expecting a baby in September, and finally delivering her the following February. I think the hardest part of the wait was the not knowing of who she was, even though we felt an emotional connection to her.
You can read about it here, on our first blog
And here
Or even here


Now, only five months after Gotcha day, life is as normal with our baby girl as it ever could be. It's as if we have been together always, and things are just as we had ever planned.

Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), our paper work was stalled four months, the same four months that Cady's papers were sitting at someone's desk at CCAA, waiting to be matched with her "forever family". Her photos and information were 4 months old by the time we got the referral. We had no idea what to expect even after the referral, which made us almost as anxious as not getting the referral yet.

The referral picture (above) shows her holding on to a counter top in order to stand up. It was taken in October or November 05, and we ironically were expecting our referral of her at that same time. The next picture was taken while we were in China. It shows that she could not only stand on her own by then, but could walk very fast. We had no idea how much she had grown nor what to expect. All that we had were the very outdated photos we had at referral.

But I say to all of you waiting for your referral, try to enjoy your time now...I know, I know, easy for me to say, while you still wait. But, you know that the time will come that you will get your little girl (or boy). Relax. Go shopping once a month for something frivolous to add to your baby's closet of goodies. Read that book that you were always going to read, but didn't find the time to read. Enjoy your time to do the things you can do on a whim, without carting a diaper bag, extra snacks or a bottle. And know that the invisible thread that connects you is more powerful than any amount of time you might wait to get her.

After we received our referral, life was so busy preparing for Cadence....And while we were in China, life was a big whirl. I would not give up the time between referral and traveling to China, or our time IN China, for anything at all. It was nearly addicting. It was such a rush receiving her, bonding with her, and getting to know her.
It was new and chaotic.
It was innocent and scary.
It was (seemingly) a long time ago.

And now, Scott and I really have no "free" time like we had while we were anxiously awaiting our referral. We used to contemplate the idea of getting new computers, or going antique shopping for fun, without even considering the finances. Now, most of our extra money is spent on excellent daycare, diapers and child's clothing. Many of my extra vacation days (that I saved all of last year) are spent at home when she's sick or too cranky to go to daycare. We both work overtime when we can, to make up for the extras that we need for her or the things we want to do with Cady.
However, my "me" time is gladly given up for the opportunity to watch my daughter learn new words. And traded for taking bubble baths with her after a long day. And used for rediscovering what cool water feels like on bare feet, or watching how excited she gets when wind blows out of nowhere to touch her face and tassel her hair. I spend my time making butterflies with my hands and reading about spots on a critter that wants to belong in the zoo. I'm constantly looking for my hairbrush that Cady found an hour earlier, or wondering where the postage stamps went, only to find that Cady discovered the "new stickers" on my desk.
Yes, enjoy your spare time now. And embrace the family time that comes when it comes...and it will come. Don't look back later, wondering where the free time went, and wish it were back. But, enjoy your free time now...Know also, that it will all come and go with the blink of an eye.

Working the evening shifts has it's ups and downs.

The upside for me:
I don't have to commute home to rush in the house , only to start dinner with zero down time between.
I don't have to worry about what Im gonna cook for dinner, although I still do the shopping, and tell him what to cook
I don't drive during the "Rush" hours, which makes my commute only 25 minutes instead of the insane 1hour/10 minutes of stop and go.
I can wake up at 7:30 am instead of 5:30 am
I get to spend time with Cady in the mornings, relish in her funny morning smiles, and watch at least a half hour of

Little Einsteins or Backyardigans both of which, Cady adores!!
Cady doesn't have to be rushed to school by 6:30 am, breakfast in hand and crying through groggy eyes (mine or hers).

The downside for me:
My little girl is growing up. At night is when she recalls (as only a 22 month old can) all the interesting things that she's learned for that day/week/month...I'm at work, and I'm missing it.
I listen to Doctor Laura on my 20 minute drive home at 9pm, and KNOW if I called her she would tell me to STOP the evening shift at once.
My little girl is growing up..did I mention that?
When I drop her off at school, even though she is now delighted to go there because it's less hours for her, she usually stares at me from her chair, and gives me a sad good-bye look.
My little girl is growing up.
I don't GET TO make dinner for her, and sit by her when she eats.


The upside for Scott:
He now has a little more empathy for being the one in charge of making dinner with a kid under foot.
He now has a general idea of how to MAKE dinner.
He appreciates the concept of cleaning up messes he makes while making dinner...and I must say he is doing very good at both.
He gets quality time with Cady, rocking her to sleep with her bottle and singing to/with her and talking to/with her during their down time
He gets to watch his little girl grow up
His bond with her was already something to be envied, but now it is even stronger.

The downside for Scott:
He doesn't even get to take a shower unless it's after she goes to bed, or he wakes up by 330am to do it because usually he is out of the house by 430am
He doesn't get any alone time after work. He picks up Cady at 3:30 pm and they spend the rest of the day together. He could leave her there longer, but the main criteria for me working evenings is so that she feels safe and comfortable in daycare while she waits for one of us to take her home.

The upside for Cady:
She can now easily understand that daycare/preschool is consistent, with consistent friends, and regulated hours of play. And that we come back soon enough to take her home.
She doesn't have to be dragged out of bed at an hour before the rooster crows.
She can spend some down time in the mornings with mama, and I know she enjoys that time.
She is always the one to come in to preschool the latest, at 9-930, ready for circle time, or snack time...The other children enjoy seeing her as she walks in, and she enjoys walking directly into a room full of children that are not crying (their parents usually have dropped them off an hour earlier)
She gets to sit and have afternoon snack with Baba, at her school when he picks her up, before their drive home at 3:30
She calls me nightly, and seems to look forward to hearing me on the phone, knowing that I will be home and waking her the next morning.

The downside for Cady:
She skips a lot of napping at preschool now, either because now she sleeps longer at night....or because she's anxious for Baba to show up "after nap time" to get her, causing her not to sleep at, all in anticipation of his arrival.
My little girl is growing up...and I've not been there in the evenings with her this month.
She misses me, as much as I miss her...maybe more.

After weighing all the pros and cons, we've made the decision though, to do this for one more month. Her preschool is beyond excellence, but the cost has set us back financially from where we want to be. One more month of shift differential pay will get us back on track again.
Sometimes I wonder if I can take it one more month. Regardless, September will definitely be the second and final month of split shifts. It's good for a short while because of all the upsides listed, but it can get old and lonely fast for all of us if we do it for more than the short term.


The upside for our family is that she talks to me on the phone daily. Oh my goodness, the messages she leaves on my cell phone are sooo cute! It brings smiles to my face while I'm at work....And with only 5 or so hours in preschool, she's really grasping the idea that even though we leave, we always come back, soon enough, with love in our hearts for her.
We are working as a family unit to achieve a more fulfilled life style. Cady is doing her part. She can't express herself verbally as much as she can comprehend, so we have to show her daily, by example, what to expect.
Now more than ever, I think all three of us grasp the idea of family and what it means to each other. Cady will sometimes be in Scott's arms, then reach to me as if she wants me to hold her instead. When I go to grab for her, she holds tight to Scott's neck, then latches on to mine as well...A very tight triangle forms between the three of us as Cady looks at each of us in admiration and proclaims....."MOMMY!?!? BABA!?!?! CAKY!!!! " (her latest version of Cady), then grins and nods her head with utmost approval at her proclamation. She obtains a look of delight, in the way that she turns her physical actions into emotional response, and vise versa, as if her actions are saying, "We are a family!"





Oh and just in case anyone is wondering,.....this is Cady's "Say CHEEEESSSSSSE" face.... Scott or I will tell her to say "Cheese" before taking her picture, and this is the result....with the word "Cheeeeeeeese" tossed in with the cheesy smile. But with the look she gives, maybe in our family we should start to say, "Say HAAAAAAAM"

Cady received a tea set as a gift a few months ago, and it's been in the back of her closet. We weren't sure at what age she would want to participate in "real" imaginary play. So, out of curiosity, the other night, Scott got the tea set out of the closet, and they had a tea party. The results were overwhelmingly obvious that she has a vivid imagination, and she adores her tea set. So, Mr Wabit, and Beaaaar were invited out of their box/home near the love seat, and they all seemed to enjoy the company. After all, Cady's spent many times inside of their house too, and she was allowed to win more than one wrestling match with them, while in their home, so it was about time she invited them over for tea.








On the other hand, Keegan wasn't quite as sure about this thing called a tea party. Or, perhaps he was unaware of the fact that his new name is Goggie. And when Cady crawled to him, then clapped her hands together twice while commanding, "Goggie! M'ere Goggie!" that was his que to enter stage left. But it seems also, that he'd heard about the empress's new tea and cookies party that she'd give for Mr. Wabit, and Beaaaar, so he played along for amusement, and seemed to enjoy the special attention from his friend. And after all, in the past she's left some fairly good treat trail behind, so he wasn't about to miss this one.

Thanks to everyone who responded about Cady's incident with strep. I just thought I'd do a follow up about her recovery.
She's taking Benadryl and penicillin. The bumps on her body are cleared up. She still has some itching on her torso though, when she gets hot, so the Benadryl really isn't helping as much as we had hoped. Today I bought some Caladryl lotion and it seems to do good itch relief when the Benadryl wears off.

The medicine has been as difficult to get down that girl's throat as we first suspected it would be when we found out that we had to give it to her. We have, however come up with a few ingenious ways to get her to take it...Yes, that's right, we have out-smarted the Scorpio/Monkey girl-(Her Astrological Sun sign and her Chinese Animal sign) both of these signs detail witty and creative behaviors....And she lives up to both. So, we have to be on our feet if we're going to outwit her. Well, Scott created a couple of good ways to get her to take the meds. Ironically, he's also a witty Scorpio/Monkey.......hmmmmm.

He was, for the first couple of days, able to entice her with taking the meds by opening the bottle in front of her, sniffing the contents, and making yummy sounds at her. Then he would deny her the meds completely, holding the dropper away and telling her that it's his. She enjoyed the tease, and eventually would want the dropper of pink liquid herself, but it was both time consuming and seemed so "candy-man-ish". I mean, who really wants their daughter to be enticed by someone to take drugs?

Recently, however, he came up with a newer...and I might add...ingenious way to get her to take the meds. All you desperate parents of intelligent and wile toddlers, listen up. Your time might come all too soon, when you too find yourself using four arms and a big towel to saturate your own shirt with a sticky, pink, bubble gummy substance. And who doesn't look forward to that day?

We found out a long time ago that Cady admires our soda cans as we drink from them. She seems to realize they're for "big people", so she's content with her juice in a sippy cup. We have though, on occasion, given her a bit of ginger-ale as a big-girl treat. Which leads us to our most recent success with getting her to take medication.....Scott put a dropper-full of meds into her sippy cup while she wasn't looking. Then, when it was obvious that she WAS looking, he added a few gulps of ginger-ale into the cup. The end result was a mixed drink that our Scorpio/Monkey girl actually gave kisses to her equally witty Baba, in order to receive.

The cocktail worked!!!

We have success at last. Tonight we did the same thing with a few gulps of caffeine free coke. It smells, and tastes like bubble gum flavored soda. And now, at least, we no longer feel as if we're torturing our daughter with an evil device called a "dropper" that crushes her will power with pink kryptonite. We're also free from feeling that the Candy Man arrives 3 times a day to entice our daughter with drugs. We can, instead, slip the drug into her drink when she's not looking. OK, it's still a really desperate, and somewhat evil sounding scenario, but at least we feel satisfied that she thinks she's just being a big girl and drinking the bubbly stuff that she's seen her parents and older kids drink.

Of course, it goes without saying that we don't want her drinking soda on a regular basis at this age, but sometimes ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do. And hopefully, the distribution of the meds in this manner, for the next few days, will serve two purposes for us. First off, we hope she'll continue to take the meds, in a civil manner, and maybe even give out more kisses for the cup of bubbly. But as a side benefit, we're also hoping that she might just wonder what all the fuss is about this bubbly stuff in a can, and learn to hate the taste of soda.

I feel soooo guilty!

Cady's been getting a gradual rash. She's had bumps starting on her torso, and then moved to her sides, her back, and eventually today they have moved to her legs. We knew that Chinese children can sometimes have sensitive skin, so we've always used Eucerin lotion and paste on her skin. The stuff works magic, by the way, and never feels layered on the skin.

I've been adding more of the paste to her body daily, thinking that the rash would be cleared up by now. For the past week and a half we've been assuming that it's just a rash caused by any number of things...chlorine in the pools she'd been in, detergent that didn't get thoroughly rinsed out of her clothes in the washing machine, an allergy to a newly introduced fruit.

Nope, none of the above.

We took her to the doctor today because the rash had seemed to be spreading further, with red bumps. The girl has strep throat. The variety she has also exhibits itself on the skin tissue, which is also termed as scarlet fever.

YIKES!

My first thoughts of scarlet fever made me think of something incurable...like bubonic plague. Apparently, scarlet fever was something horrible in the past, but today it's commonly seen on kids with strep throat and is easily cured with medication.

The doctor listed signs of strep throat that Cady never displayed.....fever, diarrhea, irritability, lack of appetite, vomiting. We also know, though, that Cady will usually not complain about ailments or pains. If she bumps her head on the coffee table, she rubs her head and moves on. That's just how she is.

I had no idea she was sick. Poor girl! She is now on penicillin for the next 10 days. That's going to be fun. Ya see, in addition to being resilient she is also stubborn when it comes to taking meds. I recall the last time we had to get medication down her for giardia, she kept the liquid medication in her mouth for half hour at a time, and refused to swallow it.

Here's to the 4th of July. And the 8th and the 9th too!

Because the 4th fell on a Tuesday this year, our evening was fairly uneventful. However, this weekend Cady was able to visit my family, and we celebrated a bit late. She thoroughly enjoys the company of extended family. Scott couldn't go with us because we stayed till Monday, and he couldn't afford the extra vacation day right now. But he really missed his little girl, and I heard about it every time we called home. I have to admit, I think Cady missed him too, but she was surrounded by so much attention and love that she kept herself busy enjoying her visit. Next time, hopefully Scott will be able to join us.

We stayed Saturday night at my mom's house where Cady decided to pose with the red, white and blues shown above. My son, Daniel, got to visit as well, and it was a wonderful time. My Mom received the privilege of sleeping with Cady in between her and me, in her bed, and I think poor Mom ended up with only 3 hours of sleep on that first night. Ya' see, Cady is a very busy sleeper. She tosses and turns and her head eventually touches every edge of her crib at least twice, in a normal night's sleep. Being in a bed (I'm sure) amplified that for her. Mom just smiled when I asked her how she slept, and said, "I have my whole life to sleep".
Mom and Cady have a very sweet relationship, and I'm very thankful for that.

Then it was off to my brother's and his family. The last time she visited my brother's family was in April, during the Easter visit, but she remembered Matt and Nicole immediately. She seems to be infatuated with her cousin, Nicole. I think part of it is the blonde (almost white) hair that Nicole has, but most likely it also has something to do with the one-on-one attention that Nicole constantly gives her as well. When we showed up, Nicole was downstairs, making Cady a felt purse. It was so cute. And by the time we left, Nicole had made her some crafts to take home.

I love this picture of the two girls together.


Cady learned very quickly that Nicole will gladly pick her up. And although she weighs 27 lbs, almost half Nicole's weight at 60 lbs, Nicole and Cady seemed to be joined at the hip on several occasions for this visit.
It was a wonderful visit with times of just lounging and playing.


Karen's Mom with her two granddaughters


Teething on a watermelon

We also went swimming, while Cady discovered 2 firsts.
1-She discovered that she can dunk her head underwater on the count of three, just like the big kids do. Well, sorta. I dunked her head with a lot of preparation while she was in my arms, in the pool. She would always come up a bit shocked but ended up with big smiles after wiping away the water from her eyes.
2-She also discovered the teething benefits of gnawing on cold watermelon. Lately this girl has more drool than old faithful has water. Her front molars are rearing their heads, and she will chew on whatever feels good. But from the looks of how many tooth marks were planted into her watermelon and not actually chewed off, watermelon is the latest best feel good.




Honorable mention.

Lastly, I wanted to post this picture of my nephew, Matt. Or as Cady refers to him, ma-TTT. Unfortuntely, Matt doesn't like to be photographed doing things that I think are adorable. So, I thought I'd give him his 15 seconds of fame with this picture. Just so you know, I did witness Matt dancing with Cady and playing with her and the monkey purse that he gave to her, because he knows how to be a thoughtful big cousin. But I was unable to get any pictures of it before he would move on.

I really love my niece and nephew. I don't tell them enough, but they're really good kids.

So, I thought I'd start this post with a picture of Cady imitating her daddy. No real reason, only that it's a fun picture.




Yesterday was Cady's second day of pre-school. Man! This school stuff is tough on me!! I never really thought that sending my child to pre-school would be so hard on the psyche. When my son was younger I ran a home daycare, so I never really felt the effects of being a working mom. But she (we)...I?? have to get used to this.
I've noticed two things about Cady while she's around other children. She won't share. Instead, she gives a rather brilliant puppy dog face while she tilts her head and says, "nooooo". But, the other thing I noticed around other children, is this; if there is a child in need of comfort, she will find a toy and try to entertain her/him with that toy, and gladly give it as a gift. These actions not only make me believe that our daughter is empathetic toward others in her environment, but that might also have been her way of helping the younger children cope with sadness in the orphanage.

She's been home for 3 months now, and we've really noticed growth on all levels.
-She's gained a vast amount of language acquisition:
-She says 25-30 words, although some are words that only we understand.
-She understands 95% of what is said to or around her. Yesterday, I was holding her and told Scott that I need to do a few things, so he said to put her down (in normal conversation, with several other sentences) She was listening to us, because as soon as he said that, she pushed her legs up higher and clung to me like a sticky weed to a sock.
And she really listens when I tell Scott something that she did while he was away. She might not know what we are saying exactly, but she recognizes the emotions and happiness that is said with her name involved, and she starts looking very proud of herself.
-She will actually talk on the phone to someone on the other side. It might be babble, but it's definitely acknowledgment of the other person.

She's getting physically bigger:
-She's gained an inch and a half in height

She's interacting with her environment in positive (and very cute) ways:
-She's in the process of switching from treating Keegan (our dog) as a sibling to treating him as the "family dog". She'll grab his toy and throw it for him, knowing that it's HIS toy and HE is a dog. And the next minute, when I ask Keegan to dance for a treat, Cady is on her tip toes, hands up-bent at the wrists, and she's dancing in circles, competing with him for cheese, as a sibling.
Below is a video of them both competing for a treat:



-She draws small circular scribbles on paper and then points to the scribble then to herself and says "mama"
OK so that's one we need to still work on. She calls herself Mama. We think she might be associating herself with females, but we aren't sure. One of us will say, "that's Cady" pointing to the picture then to her...and she quickly replies with a quick nod of approval and says, "mama!"
-She also mimics everything. If someone is standing with their arms crossed, I'll look down and there's Cady, studying the adult, and crossing her own arms. If we're talking with friends and using hand motions, Cady will start using her hands and babbling....If you could imagine how it looks and sounds while playing Sims online, as one of the characters gives a party, then think of all the Sims gathering round to chat, and then you'll have an idea of how she contributes to the conversations.
We were in the car the other day, and I said to Scott, "this sucks!" Cady replied, "sucks". Scott then said, "Did you hear that, Karen?? We have to be careful, Cady just repeated the word sucks" To which, of course we hear again from the back seat, "sucks".

So, we're starting a new chapter in her interactions with others. Last week was her last week at My-Gym, and I'm very glad we enrolled her there. It was a great way to start her in the process of learning how to participate in circle time, and to work on her motor skills. When she first started there, I noticed that she was a little behind on motor skills from children her age. She had the knowledge and the desire to participate but she had never been given the opportunity. After 6 weeks she was ahead of others. It was like watching a child that had been blind, recover eye sight, and begin to discover her surroundings in a new way. It was also a wonderful thing that both my mom and son got to experience this with her.



Cady and Daniel (or as Cady calls him, Daw-daw)





Cady and Grandma (In Cady language: Mamah)

It’s official! 
Our little girl went to her first day of school today.  Well, ok…it wasn’t really her ‘official’ first day. Her official first day of preschool will be next Tuesday.  Scott and I spent an hour there with Cady yesterday, as an initial visit.  But, Cady was invited back to school today to spend 3 hours without Mama and Baba there. She’ll be back again for two full days next week, then she'll start going full time Monday thru Friday, beginning on July 3rd, when I start back to work.  She adores one of the teachers already, Miss Rommi.  Miss Rommi was there yesterday and she stuck to her like glue. She's from India, and looks similar to Cady's nanny at the orphanage, so that might have something to do with it.  Miss Rommi smiles a lot, and is constantly doing things that invite the children to think and participate.  We're very impressed with this school thus far. The facility is beautiful, in a very safe location, and the staff is top notch.  Today, while Cady was in class by herself, I was able to view her from the principal’s office for as long as I wanted, because there's a video system to monitor every classroom.  Cady seemed very comfortable and I could tell she felt safe from the moment we stepped in to the room for the interview yesterday, and today she responded the same way.  I watched the camera screen today from the principal's office for a little over half an hour.  Then I left with the intention of running a few weekly errands.  I drove home instead. I’m not sure why, really. 

So now, here I am. 
 
There are always more errands that I don’t do during the day because toting around a toddler to run errands is difficult, to say the least. I'd rather be spending my coveted time with Cady going out on her terms; walks, MyGym and gardening. Otherwise, when I go out with Cady, I have a long check list of things to carry: diapers, wipes, snacks, bottled water, bottle of juice, extra set of clothes, a few small toys.  
”And did I remember to put sunscreen on her?  Where is the sunscreen? Will I have enough time run both errands before nap time?  Which one errand is most important to get done today?  Did she actually eat any of her breakfast this morning?  When was her last poop?”  And, although she likes car rides, the car gets uncomfortably hot when parked outside.
…..All of these thoughts and more are what determine how or if I will conduct my errands for the day outside of the home.  But I came home, to wait for pick-up time instead. I thought I would jump at the opportunity to have some 'free' time. And yet, here I am, at home, waiting for the time that I can go back to get my sweet girl.
 
So now, here I am.    
 
My daughter has started school. For the next 15 years of my little girl’s life, she will be in school, and that’s before she goes to college. I know she needs the brain food, and she is very much ready for a preschool environment.  It’s a bittersweet feeling for me now.  But oh, how exciting it is for her.   As I walked with Cady this morning, the principal reached down and offered Cady her hand.  Cady gladly accepted the gesture as she half-toddled and half-marched into the room. She scanned her surroundings, found the teacher, and sat right down for circle time and a book. My heart swelled with pride, as I stood in the corner and watched Cady.  She looked on, completely captivated by her teacher and her surroundings.



I realized at that moment, this was the beginning of something entirely new for us as a family. 
Open houses, ice cream socials, pot lucks, recitals, school concerts, science fair projects, first-day-of-school jitters, best friends, sleepovers & birthday parties. 
Our universe shifted, just a little today.

As I looked past the toddler room window behind Cady, and into the playground area, I could see the Pre-K students outside. They were busy with their teachers getting ready for their graduation ceremony tonight.  I could also hear the traditional graduation music playing behind the dual pane windows, as they prepared for the big event.  What an exciting time for those children. What an exciting time for my daughter. As the pre-K children were preparing for their next milestone, so was Cady.

I once read that kindergarten got it's first start in Germany.  It's been said that the person who started the first kindergarten, Friedrich Froebel, needed a name for his pre-grade school classes. He looked for a word to describe an experience that would cultivate children like plants and let them bloom like flowers, he called it a children’s garden, hence, Kinder-Garten. What a beautiful sentiment. I thought about that definition today as I admired my daughter experiencing school. I thought about the shifting of our time together. And I thought about her future.

Below is an accumulation of those thoughts for my daughter.

 
Seedling
 
A delightful seedling was planted this day.
Her colors and shapes are still unknown.
 
So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

 

Her size is tiny, but she possesses great strengths.
She’ll be loved and nurtured, and soon she'll be grown.
 
So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.
 
So, attach yourself firmly, my little one.
I'll be here with you. In time it will show.
 
So now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

 

And when her growing is done, and my harvest complete,
She’ll cultivate a new garden, and have her own seedlings to sow. 
 
But for now, here I am.
And there she is.
And so it goes.

OK so I’ve been on sabbatical for quite a while now, letting Scott do all the typing and creativity.  There are a few reasons for that.  First, he has the Apple computer(s) at his L shaped desk, and my PC is on the other side of the room.  Now, first glance would indicate that he is segregating the PC from his Apples.  But, in fact, I have my own…old…worn out desk that houses my old…worn out PC.  I’m too practical, so I find it difficult giving up my tattered desk that doubles as a bill holder/CD stacker/important Cady papers/everything else one can imagine, from stapler to Cady’s crayons.   It wobbles and it tilts, but I can’t find another like it.  My PC is about to bite the dust too.  Every time I turn it off, then back on, I get a message that I am due for a system failure and that backing up my system is a really good idea.   I’ve given it some thought and have decided to take the plunge.  I’m getting an Apple.  That will serve two purposes.  First, I will be able to put this old thing to rest with dignity.  And second, but most importantly, I will be able to publish onto our blog as my whims and time allows, without trying to find the time to use his computer, or asking him to post my entries for me, via an email exchange.   OK, Scott O, you can now rejoice in the bliss of yet another Apple user returned safely home.
 
Now, on to the sole purpose for having a computer and internet access (besides Yahoo games), and that would be journaling my thoughts and feelings for and about my little girl’s world.
 
Father’s Day for Cady’s Baba was everything he had asked for, and more.  Actually they were fairly simple requests.  He had requested two things.
One: to be in a No-poop zone for the day.  This being, he would get the day off from diaper duty, from retrieving a variety of things that I forget on my quest to clean or manage Cady’s needs.  But he would, instead, get all the hugs, kisses, lap sitting and plain ole Baba admiration from his little girl.  The funny thing is, she moved right in to character.  There were at least 3 or 4 times during the day that she asked for him, and then went to find him just for a kiss or a hug.  She loved her Baba attention so much that she cried at least once when he tried to put her down.  
And two:  To get something artistic from Cady.  For the artistic part, Cady and I made chocolate chip cookies.  She also spent time finger painting for him.  And although I’m not sure she understood the concept that the cookies and messy art were for Baba, she had fun creating both.   And I had fun sharing girl time with her. 
 




I really am in awe at times when I realize I have a little girl with whom to share my world and my life.  She is so well rounded, it astounds me.  She is quick to get her hands dirty and play tomboy, but is also such a girly-girl that she’s the first to admire a good piece of plastic jewelry, a ‘pretty’ for her hair, or a plastic watch, or beautiful monkey pajamas.  She loves to dance.  And she changes pace with the beat and tempo of the music, as Scott’s video shows.  My dad said it the best.  When I spoke to him tonight, he said, “She knows the cadence of the music”.  I said, “yeah…..”  Paused.  Then, realized that it’s true.   She gives hugs willingly, and while she gives them, she says “ugggggs, uggggs, ugggggs”.  She hears children crying and then makes the same sound, as if in empathy for that child.  My daughter loves when the wind blows in her face.  She looks out to the distance, as if she wants to know where it comes from.  Then, she smiles and lets it blow in her face anyway.  And her eyes…her eyes can melt anyone’s heart.  If eyes truly are the passage to the soul, she’s deep, convincing and compassionate.  When she hears me come home and walk in the back door, her feet pitter-patter down the hallway and she greets me with sentences full of adventure.  I’m positive she is telling me what she did with Baba, and asking me if I got her anything at the store, and telling me she loves me.   How am I sure of this?  Because, sometimes she greets me in this manner with intermittent words of,  “uggggs, uggggs, uggggs!”  
While I watched my little girl love her father, I did a lot of reflecting.  I thought about times with my own father.  The bed time stories he would tell, the love he gave me.  I thought about my son and about my daughter.   I thought about the passage of time, and how children live in the moment.  Today I lived in the moment, all day.  I hope Scott had as wonderful of a Father’s Day as I did.

We've been concerned about Cadence's sweaty head when she sleeps. It gets extremely wet. When I asked other parents that have adopted from China, a lot of parents have agreed that their child does the same thing, presuming it was just their child. Then it was suggested that it might be a symptom of rickets. Rickets is caused by a vitamin D deficiency, mostly due to little or no sun exposure, but other causes are from not getting enough vitamin D intake in foods, or fortified milk.

We went to the pediatrician today for Cady's first check up. Our pediatrician does not think Cady has/had rickets.  With rickets several things appear to be present: The child is usually underweight, has signs of bowed legs, and the teeth cut through later than normal-sometimes almost all at once after the adoption. She said that with Cady's weight- 50-60% on an international chart, and with her legs not being bowed at all, and with the formation of the rest of her body (without clothing) at 17 months, along with all the teeth she already has, she will be surprised if Cady has/had a vitamin D deficiency.  I'm now thinking (wondering) if it really is a Chinese child thing.  Results from all the tests will come in a few days.
 
Our poor baby had 5 shots today- two in each leg and one in the arm, and also got her blood drawn from her left arm for several blood tests.  We are to turn in stool samples next week, (3 different sets of stools taken at least 24 hours apart), for more testing on deficiencies and/or parasites.  At first the pediatrician didn't even think the blood sample was necessary simply because Cady looks so healthy, but she said that it's best we do, so that we can be sure of everything.  We also redid all the imunizations and will follow up every 4 weeks three more times.  She said it will not harm the child to redo the immunizations.

-Side note- The cautions we hear so often about immunizations possibly causing or relating to autism, according to our pediatrician is outdated information for imunizations given in the US.  It used to be accurate because of mercury in the immunization shots, but they no longer use mercury for any of the shots given by US doctors, so if you are still waiting for your adoptive child, you are safe in re-immunizing your child in the US.
 
Our poor baby was a trooper.  She only cried when she had to lay down while the nurse did things because the nurse wore a smock.  The same fearful crying came when the phlebotomist held her arm down.  Cady fought with all her might to get away from her.  She's a very good phlebotomist though, she's the same one that drew my blood before we sent our documents to China, almost a year ago, and no-one else knows how to get my blood.  Cady finally caved in after 3 or more minutes of struggling, and she just looked so defeated.  
 
The only thing we couldn't do was the urine sample because the nurse gave her an external catheter (a catheter bag without the tube that was stickied to her outer vagina).  It didn't work so well, when she finally peed, it went outside of the bag.
We gave her a warm bath soon after, and again she held her purple ball close to her cheek for a long while- the same ball that she held during and after her bath on Gotcha Day. 
 
I can't help but think that these children are treated abruptly during doctor visits in the SWIs.  I can understand (sort of) why.  But damn, it makes for a really heart wrenching time for us parents. The good news, is that this probably will be the ONLY blood sample we need for a battery of tests (too many to list), for parasites, deficiencies, and general health and blood cell count. And I can say with certainty that Cady knows her space boundaries. She absolutely knows when someone is in her space uninvited. If you are unwelcome in her space, she won't put up with it. She allows you to be there. I admire that strength in her and am happy that she is that confident with her self and environment. This might have been a result of feeling that her space was violated by the doctors who probed her at the orphanage, so for that outcome from her possible negative experiences, I'm glad.

And now, some pictures of Mommy and Cady in China. Here I had a good hair day (My ONLY good hair day in China), and these pictures didn't make into the China folders...So here they are.


Mommy stole some shugah...but Cady didn't mind.



This is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys....unless the monkeys do tricks.



Cady loves the song, "If all the Raindrops Were Lemon Drops and Gum Drops..."
(Thanks to Anne Marie's Mommy for sharing the song, as it's now one of her favorites)

Well it certainly has been a while since I posted. Scott has been doing such a wonderful job at it, that I've enjoyed just sitting back and reading what he feels, and (I'm sure by default), what I also feel about so many things with our daughter.

Adjusting...now that's a bigger word than it sounds. Scott and I have been adjusting to the time difference again in the USA. We have been adjusting to having a toddler in the house. It's exhausting but it is so rewarding. Now, instead of taking an afternoon siesta on an occasional Sunday, we put Cady down for her nap daily and do a clean-sweep across the house, putting her toys away, and picking up the dish towels from the kitchen floor which she continually removes from the drawer, of which she has now claimed ownership. I'm adjusting to having a child under foot while making dinner, I haven't tripped over her yet. The dogs are adjusting to her yelling with glee then making all effort to squeeze their mugs when she sees them. The dogs digestive tracts are adjusting to the continual cheerios, apple chunks, broccoli, bananas, raisins and mashed potatoes that either hit the ground or are lovingly given to the dogs as a gesture of good will. And Cady is adjusting to the fact that she cannot eat the dog food that is constantly available, and at her level.

When I met Cady's nanny, and saw the journal in which she had written, with weekly or monthly pictures for the first 16 months of her life, I knew Cadence wouldn't have too many issues with adjustments or attachment. One of our most treasured items that we got for Cady while in China, was a globe, painted on the inside with our favorite picture of her and her nanny. Currently, this globe sits on the top of her closet, but some day she will have it sitting on her dresser or desk top. She will be able to look into it and be comforted in knowing that JiaRong kept her safe and cared about her while Cady waited for Mommy and Daddy to do all the paperwork.




We were both overwhelmed when we saw the artist's work. He did it overnight. We really have no idea how easily he was able to capture the moment in the picture with so little time to do it in. We thanked him deeply with the little bit of Mandarin that we know, when we saw his work. And he, in return, proud of the accomplishment, and glad that we were pleased. It was as if he knew the importance of this little treasure for our little girl.

As for adjusting, there is only one thing that really breaks Mommy's heart. Bedtime. Before we came home, she would cry with angst at bedtime. She would suck on a sheet or blanket till it was soaking wet, to soothe her nerves. We placed her crib in our bedroom so that we can tend to her quickly, and for bonding purposes. She is fine while in her crib, not knowing anyone is around. Almost too fine. She sometimes stays quiet, and we don't even know she's awake, for several minutes, possibly a half an hour. Then when she sees us or hears us stir, she immediately changes from a baby that is too quiet to a heart wrenching wail. When we go to her in the mornings to get her out of her crib, she clings to us. She sometimes is very groggy, but she NEEDS to be held, and loved, and cuddled, and kissed for a good 15 minutes. Sometimes if one of us gets her up, and puts her on the bed to cuddle with the other parent, she cries immediately, obviously thinking that she is going to be put to bed again. We did figure out that if we sit her on the bed, she is ok with it, but not if we lay her in the bed or put her down to crawl to the front of the bed.
We've been rocking her to sleep at night with a bottle, and assure her that she is loved. She loves the idea of the bottle, but she still complains when we sit down with her in a quiet living room, knowing that she will soon be going to bed. Some of these reactions are purely normal reactions that a 17 month old would have about going to bed, but I can't help but think that bed time was a time of being alone and scared and lonely at the orphanage. It was a time of solitude, not solace. It was a time of isolation, not relaxation. It was a time of despair, not contentment. I can't help but feel gratitude toward her nanny with everything that she did to make Cady feel wanted and loved and happy. And I realize that bedtime is a time of protest for most 17 month olds anyway, but I think she needs more time to adjust to knowing that bedtime is only a way to make tomorrow come a little bit faster. It still breaks my heart to know that she knows that she was so lonely at such a young age.