The Cady Chase

Or so it seems. Not the end completely, but rather the end of Chapter 2 of our journey, technically completed as we finished our first year home with Cady. As is our tradition, it's time to start a brand new chapter, and I have chosen to do it just a bit differently this time.

No longer are we just on the Cady Chase, though not a day goes by that we don't end up running to, from, or for Cady. Now we start working more as a full fledged family, with another on the way. Our work continues for Melody, and we certainly don't want anyone (there are some of you out there yet, right?) to miss out on updates.

So now begins Chapter 3, Chasing Melody, on an all new site. Feel free to visit To Sing, and to Dance (or to make it easier to remember, www.todanceandsing.com) as often as you like. We even have new pictures up from Easter that I have just gotten around to actually putting up.

As always, thanks for staying tuned.

So it's been quite some time since our last update. Truth as it is, life continues, and I don't think so many people want everyday updates on how Karen took Cady to school, and I picked her up. We continue, and sometimes the days blend into another, and everything is peachy. We reached our 1 year anniversary together this past week, and we celebrated quietly at home with a couple of gifts and some family time together.


Here's a compilation of the first 6 months that we've posted before, and below is the second 6 months that was just completed. It's amazing how much she's grown.



Here are clips of the past 6 months together, and most of the video included here is now showing for the first time. Music by Faye Wong.

Yeah. It's official. We're going back.

So umm.. if you haven't heard, Cady's birthday is coming up soon. Mine is just the day before hers, so we've been celebrating them for a bit now.

Grandma sent us birthday cards, and I couldn't help but get the camera out for the occasion.

Besides, Daddy has been playing with some new video stuff, and was anxious to try some of it out.

Just removing the separate links page, and adding it to the sidebar, with an update on links that have changed.


Just to add some content, a couple of videos from the past and recent past. They've been on YouTube for a little while already, so some people may have already seen them, but here are the two..

Video iChat with Fish Sun at Apple's sales center in California 2 days after Gotcha Day. Music by Ray Charles.



A collage made recently with many pictures already seen and used, but others not used. I was more testing a new program for slideshows, so made another "day 1 to current" type of slideshow. Music by Faye Wong.

If there was blogging in the 18th century-

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October 12, 1761- Written by Leopold

I know that every parent wants to believe that his child is really a genius, and we try very hard not to set expectations for little Wolfgang so terribly high, but he is such a bright boy. He has recently completed his first composition, and though only 20 seconds long, it's really quite good. He wrote it for the harpsichord and has titled it Andante in C. As I wrote, we don't want to label him a genius, but this is a very good work for a child who is only 5 years old. I've tried to post the mp3 here in the blog, but digital music will not be invented for some time yet. I can try again later...

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So yeah, this is how I feel far too often. No, I don't think Cady is genius level, at least not at a savant level anyhow, but she is definitely exceptional. At school, she was scheduled to begin "shadowing" in the older class this past week. Now, the school's plan for shadowing is that she can begin her day in the upper class, and they watch to see how she handles it, and how well she fits in, then return to the younger class for the remainder of the day. This process is set to run for a couple of weeks at the minimum. Cady spent her first day with this schedule, but then the second day she just spent the whole day in the older class. We were a bit surprised that on day two I was picking her up from that class rather than the younger one. Day 3 was the same, and so on. Her teacher feels that she is ready to enter that class now rather than waiting for the evaluation period, and that Cady is well ahead of those that she shared the past months with, and is on par with the students in her new class, and even ahead of some of those kids. We don't want to set such expectations for our little girl, but it seems that Cady has her own agenda and is now finding the challenges that she needs on her own.

That's my little girl.

We work very hard not to push her into advanced learning, but have essentially tossed all of the developmental books out the window. For that matter, we've left all of the adoption (and specifically China adoption) books on the shelves. Cady has proven to us that if we just let her advance as she wants, she's going to be in incredible shape for her future. We don't look at the age recommendations on toys and things that we buy for her, and we just sit and learn whatever she's drawn towards. We talk to her all the time about things as we would talk to an adult. We watch for what she grasps, and we build on that. It's not just that she is smart, but that she truly loves learning things. This is the fun stuff for her. The only thing I try to bring in more of for her learning are things that will improve her creativity. She's incredibly left brained, so we do try to encourage more right brain activity for her.

We don't want to label her as an exceptional child, but it seems that's the first thing everyone tells us after even spending a short time with us. Today we had our 6 month evaluation, and, naturally, as our social worker was leaving the house, she was just repeating over and over how brilliant Cady was. It seemed to be very important to her to convey to use that she was an incredibly smart child, offering comparisons to every other 2 year old she has met.

I absolutely believe that some of this is genetics, and that she has had great advantages in that her time in China was spent under an environment very welcoming to learning, but I also think that Karen and I are on the right track. I believe that we have greatly contributed to her learning and development, and we do feel a sense of pride in her advancement (If we could only take credit for her beauty). I think that Cady has yet to find her place developmentally, and I will not be surprised when, a year or so later, when we are told that she is ready to advance to the next class, well ahead of her classmates. Until we're comfortable that she has found her median, we will continue to leave her in the driver seat, naturally with appropriate guidance.

On another positive note...

If you've followed the blog from the beginning, particularly the adventure in China itself, then you know AnneMarie. We've recently reconnected with AnneMarie's mommy and daddy, and are fortunate to have even received some pictures. I've mixed a "then and now" image to share with everyone. She's come so far, and is both brilliant and beautiful. We're anxious to find an opportunity to get together with her and her family soon, as we miss them all very much.

Without further adieu..



We hope to hear from Macy soon as well, and if we get some pictures, I will be happy to share.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

September 2nd, 19somethingsomething.

We visit work often, and she always impresses the sales group with spotting each and every Apple logo spread throughout the floor.

So I've brought in some new images from the recent past, some from the beach trip to Bodega Bay a few weeks ago, and some others that I took while playing with the camera and getting some close-up shots of Cady after a bath.

You can access from the menu at the top, the pictures below, or the navigation bar on the left side.



Just a quick note to Tina.. Karen and I (mostly me) are sad for your loss. We all know what it's like to lose a trusted friend.. err.. computer. We hope all will be well in time.

Karen is working her first swing shift, and thankfully only has to do this for a very short time. I know she's gonna miss her baby (and might miss Cady too) so I clipped a few movie shots from the night just for her goodnight, as Cady will be sleeping when she gets home.



Goodnight Honey.

sub note: The ravioli served tonight is not some canned thing. It's only the good stuff for Cady.

So I was given a book by Karen's Mother a bit ago about being a daddy. It's a cute little book with snippets of humorous wisdom for what to know and expect with being the father of a daughter, all the way through her teen years and beyond. Cady, after a recent visit to see her cousins Nicole and Matt, decided on her own that the umm.. girl on the cover of the book.. was umm.. Matt. We really had no say in this, and have even tried to explain that it was a little girl on the cover, and that Matt was definitely not a little girl.

Click for full size version

A little video clip with Cady giving Keegan a good talking to about his whiney noises while on the walk. Filmed by mama.

It amazes me to no end that wherever I live, fireworks are not allowed in city limits, yet I am never able to sleep on July 4 because of all of the fireworks going off continually around my home. I think all businesses should make everyone work on the 4th and give everyone the 5th off so that they can recover from not being able to sleep the night before.

Now, I'm a patriot, and I love my country. I choose to show this patriotism every year by, you know, obeying the laws of this country, and the cities within it. I know, call me odd if you will.

Anyhow, I was playing a bit in photoshop with a picture that Karen took today.



The result is pleasing I think.

We've already put up the pictures for this, but here are the movie files that Karen shot during that time.

Some time ago, we wrote about Half the Sky, and how people (and companies) can donate in many ways to benefit the children in China's orphanages. We had also written how we knew that Cady had a sponsor, though we did not know who he was. Well, as the title hints, we now do know. We've known for a bit of time already, but this is the first time that we have shared this outside of the home. We were able to send messages over to Bill, and to express our gratitude to him for being a sponsor to our baby girl, and were thrilled to hear back from him. We know that he reads the site on occasion, and we want him to know that he is in our thoughts and prayers always.



So we discovered something interesting recently. You've seen a lot of pictures of Cady (umm.. obviously) and most often she has this complete look of concentration on her face. We love that look about her, and she obviously learns so much in such little time, that it makes sense. She really is studying everything constantly. What we learned though, is that just by asking, we could get some incredible smiles from her. Ya I know, all we had to do was ask, right? Our daughter can say "cheese" now, and actually understands that it means that we want her to smile. I know this because if I ask her to say "cheese" while I am not pointing a camera (or at least something that looks like a camera) at her, she looks back as if to say "You don't have a camera, why are you asking me to do this?"

Mind you, she also knows what cheese is, and will happily gobble it up when offered to her.

That's all from me for now, and Karen will be writing very soon, directly from her own brand new Mac Mini (WOOO!). If the site starts looking odd from time to time, it's not her fault at all. I'm trying to see how I can share one blog file between two computers, and though I think I have it figured out, we'll see what happens when it really gets tested.

I'm thrilled at the number of great responses for the new site look, and yes, there is a distinct Monsters theme here. Appropriately enough, it is a theme from the Rapidweaver program used to create the site, and the theme is in fact called Monsters. I've customized the look to meet some of the requests, particularly the text coloring, though there are some things on it that I can't change with my limited modifying skills, though I keep trying.

Thank you all again.

So what do you think? You like it? You hate it? It's a new look anyhow.. I don't know if I will keep it or not, but we'll give it a few days to sink in.

Mommy dances with Cady far more than Daddy gets to, so when she started dancing with her own baby, we decided it was mostly Mommy's influence.

So I mentioned earlier about my computer failing, with a bad logic board and hard drive, and I spoke about my faith in Apple's service. Check this out and note that we paid for none of this. Apple does all of this using express shipping at their expense. We set up the repair on a Monday, and Apple overnighted a custom box to me which arrived on Tuesday. If we had been better prepared, we could have had this box packed and shipped out right away on Tuesday, but we weren't, so I packed it up on Tuesday night and set up the pickup with DHL on Wednesday. Count the days now with me: DHL picks up my computer on Wednesday afternoon, and overnights it to the Apple repair depot. Thursday morning, Apple receives the computer, tests to identify the issues, replaces the logic board, a cable, and the hard drive, installs a clean operating system, verifies the repais as successful, and DHL picks it up from the repair center on the same day. On Friday morning, DHL is knocking on our front door to deliver my computer back home. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's it. That's all they needed for replacing the second most complicated component in the computer (I think the display would be harder) and a couple of other components. This is one of the many reasons that Apple is tops in service and support. Eat it Dell. Eat it Gateway. A 3 day turnaround for a repair is actually expected from our customers. Never promised but most always achieved.

Kudos to DHL as well for their service, as they delivered at 9:30 in the morning during the only hour that Karen had to be out of the house for a doctor's appointment for Cady. When Karen called them to appeal to them to try to deliver again on Friday (they had it set to re-attempt on next business day) they asked the driver to re-attempt and she did, so I didn't have to wait until Monday to get my computer back.It was a very nice way to end a distressing situation.

So what else has been happening since my last meaningful entry? I guess I can't complain about a low number of comments for the site considering it's been nearly a month since I have included any content outside of some pictures and movies, though they certainly have been adorable, RIGHT? I've been back to work full time for a while, and I've been very sick for a greater part of that time. Not the Idontwannaworkitis that I have experienced once in awhile, or any kind of sickness from not being with my baby girl all day and every day, though I miss her each and every moment that we're apart. I am still amazed by her continually, and if this little girl understood just how much I love her, she would control my every move. Hopefully by the time she does understand those kinds of things more, I will be able to conceal it just enough that she won't completely own me. Well, she will always completely own me, but hopefully she won't ever realize it enough to test it so often. So I have been sick, and last night after Cady and Momma made cookied for me for Father's Day, she started showing symptoms too. She was getting extremely hot, and we brought out the thermometer, and tried to take her temperature. She didn't want any of that, so we managed to get the thermometer under her arm enough to watch the temperature rise upwards of 103+. We were very worried, but, unable to accept the accuracy of the measurement under the conditions (clothing and all the squirming can really affect a reading) we opted to give her a cool bath which seemed to help out a whole lot. We got her to bed, and watched her carefully, and she made it through the night. It tears me up to see her sick, particularly with a cold that I likely gave to her. A good friend at work (thanks Ted) stopped me in my worrying to tell me that I can NOT blame myself for these things, or it will kill me. I struggle with it, but we're all going to be ok.

So what other news of Cady? She is, as always, incredible. At her worst, she is clingy. She has gained most of her baby teeth, and without actually checking in her mouth, we never even know anything is happening in there. Whether the incoming teeth hurt her or not we have no idea, but she doesn't cry about it or even get cranky. Karen considers me as the one who will have to keep her mind thinking and growing intellectually, but she seems to have no idea just how wonderfully she is doing with that all on her own during the daytime when I am working. She knows so much and still understands everything. She knows everything we say, and understands it all in such a wonderful way. She knows more words than we can count, and I keep trying to build enough desire to try to make a list. It's hard to count the words, as some of them are not proper, though we know exactly what she is saying. Some sound like the words we know, so they would count, right? This is the issue with counting the words, and the reason I haven't and may not do it. This girl is smart. We know it, she knows it, everyone who meets her sees it almost immediately.

We have selected our child care facility for when Karen goes back to work. She will be enrolled in Merryhill School. We truly enjoyed not just the facilities, but the very apparent commitment to the children's learning and development. We're happy with the choice, even if sad that such a choice becomes necessary. I still wish that one of us could stay home always with her. Yes she needs to be exposed to an environment with lots of children, but I also want to feel that she will be given every opportunity to have an environment which will allow her to advance as rapidly as she is comfortable with. I stress that I am not looking towards always pushing her. I want her to be a child as well, and I want her to play, and be as creative as she likes. This does not have to be independent of learning and advancing though. With all of our research, Merryhill will be good for her. It will just be hard on me.

And so it's Daddy's Day today. My request for my only gift for this day is to be able to do whatever I want. I had expected that this would give me time to write some, maybe take a nap, and maybe work with my newly returned computer. Interestingly enough, I started writing this posting here at the time you see. I began this at 9AM. It's now noon, and I have written pieces, followed by Cady hugs and a little writing. Playing with Cady and a little writing. Sitting with Cady and a little writing. Dancing with Cady and a little writing. Dinner with the Playschool king and queen (and horse) and a little writing. Helping Cady feed Tyrone and Uniqua and put them to bed and yes, a little more writing.

My Father's Day present is to be able to do anything I want.

It's working perfectly so far.

Lots to tell, and I will write more later tonight tomorrow. For now, some new pictures and a video.

So it should never need to be said, but it often does have to be said, usually after a system failure, you should always back up your computer data to an external source. I had done some backups of the most critical and irreplaceable information on my computer, namely my photos, videos, email, and music. I had not completely backed up that which was less critical though, meaning some system preference files, some of my favorite bookmarks, and most notably, this site. The past week was spent doing everything short of physically rebuilding the hard drive to try to recover the data. Fortunately I had done the split from Chapter 1 a couple of weeks ago, so that site will remain whole and untouched. I had a backup at the time that I split it, so I was able to rebuild this current Chapter 2 site with only a few hours of work, and with only a few small quirks, which, unless you are really attentive, you are likely to not notice. The remaining lost information is only inconvenient to replace, so all is essentially ok.

So my beloved PowerBook has a few problems, and will not start up. It's alright, no need to worry. I have AppleCare, and it will be covered, so in a short time I will have it back and running well. Now, I've always been a huge advocate of Apple computers and software, and this has not changed. Computer hardware fails no matter who makes it, and Apple's track record for the durability of their products is quite impressive. But a portable computer is exactly that. Something that you move around, and if you are like me, it's something you move around a lot. In time, stress points may fail, and in my case, had failed. If you own a portable computer from any manufacturer, you would be well advised to have any and every extended repair contract available to that system.

So I'm working from a backup computer, and though it is much slower than my PowerBook, I can return to writing and sharing everything with you. It's not likely that I will include any video though until my precious comes back to me, as this backup computer is quite limited in capability.

For the moment, I just post to give you this update and I will start giving more Cady news soon. We're all doing well, and appreciate you for reading.

Last note: I took the leap and actually registered a domain name for the site. You can now locate this page by going to http://www.cadychase.com/ . It's a redirect, so for those of you who have the site bookmarked, you will never have to change those links. Going to the cadychase.com address only re-routes the page over to this current one, so, once again, you will have no need to change your bookmarks or your bloglines feeds.

Thanks again.

As I promised earlier today, the rest of the pictures from our trip to South Dakota. There are lots to see, in order as follows: The Butterfly House, The Great Plains Zoo, and The Falls of the Big Sioux River.

Enjoy

Ok I might be confused a bit too. I decided to split the blog up into separate chapters (with a little overlap) to allow things to load better for people as well as making it easier to archive as well. The split fit best at the point that we arrived back home from our trip to China, so regular visitors will have already read things up to this point. If you're using bloglines or another blog tracker, you will need to update this site now.

We appreciate your understanding and your continued visitation. Chapter One will not go away, so you can visit and search, but will no longer be updated.

I'll get some more of our South Dakota photos up today as a reward for your understanding.

So as yesterday's posting indicated, we spent the past week enjoying a long overdue visit with my family in South Dakota. Excluding the time in the airplanes, it was 8 days of maximum attention all on Cady. I have my mother, 3 brothers, 2 sisters, and 13 nieces and nephews, most of which were able to visit. This meant that virtually every waking moment of the week was spent with someone openly adoring my daughter. Naturally, Cady had no complaints. Of course, being the newest and youngest member of the family, in their eyes, she could do no wrong. Yeah, we might have to start the process now of beginning to un-spoil this little girl a bit, as she is now starting to test us.

This test begins whenever we have to take something away, or tell her "no-no", a term she not only knows well, but repeats often, accompanied with a stern look and a finger shake at the item we are telling her not to touch. Some day we may get some pictures or video of this, though it's tough to maintain the seriousness of a discipline while waving a camera at her. Right now, when taking something away, she will make the play, and out comes the bottom lip, the eyes begin to melt, and she will begin this adorable little pout that, if unprepared, will melt the coldest adult. After quickly seeing that this isn't working, she will even look for a level surface to put her forehead down on while rubbing her eyes. Even the pout is fake, but she does try.

We knew it would come. It was a great recommendation in all of our readings before seeing her for the first time that we should be well prepared to spoil Cady as much as we could. It helps the bonding, and it works very well. We also knew in advance that this spoiling could not last forever, and that, as time passed, we would have to wean her from this a bit down to a normal level. I've seen some very spoiled children, and I have every confidence that Cady will make this adjustment with only small issues. Even now, she is seeing that the pouting performance isn't going to work, and Karen and I are adamantly aware that we need to keep a firm counter together on this re-adjustment.

With a few rare exceptions, gone are the late night wakings, the naps go smoothly, she eats well, exercises well, and her mind is as sharp as any child I have ever seen. Every plane trip we have had ends with one or more people praising how well she travels, and often people are even amazed at how young she is, comparing her with their own children's advancement when they are much older than she is.

This past week with all of her family, we saw huge strides in her advancement. It was mostly small things, as she picked up a lot of new words that she can now say, with varying degrees of success. Monkey sounds like Mama, Dog still sounds like Gaguh, and our current favorite is Turtle. She pronounces it very clearly, and we can't help but smile when she does, because she puts such an accent on it that makes it so adorable. There was even a morning after waking up that she was just laying on the floor looking at the ceiling and saying all of the words that she knows. I have never read or heard about something like this, but it definitely happened, and continued until she noticed that we were all staring wide eyed at her, at which point she got back up with a smile and returned to her play. She simply amazes us every day.

This is the last day of my party, and tomorrow I have to return to work. It will be the first time I have ever been away from my baby for longer than an hour I think, and something tells me that I may not take it very well. I really don't want to do it, but I have a wonderful job and co-workers that I do miss greatly, and if I want to buy Cady that Baby Grand, I really should start making more money.

I still have more to write, and I need to cover the rest of the trip, including the Butterfly House, the Great Plains Zoo, and the Falls of the Big Sioux River, some of which will even include some fun video.

My family had been warned on arrival that, by allowing us to come visit, they were likely to end up appearing on the blog. I've added one of the sets of images up on the page now, focusing on the moments in between those visits to the zoo, the park, and the Butterfly House. I told you all I would make you famous. Pictures at the top under the South Dakota link, or by clicking here.

Thanks as always for reading, and I will write again soon.

So where have we been??

Well, we were away. Far far away in the land I almost forgot. We took our trip to South Dakota, to see the family I had left behind so long ago, when I migrated to California. In this age of Audio/Video Chats (If any of my family members would buy one of these), email, and inexpensive long distance calls, the world is a much smaller place. It's never small enough. I didn't even know how much I would miss my family even until we were leaving to come back home just yesterday.

But what a time we had. Many many pictures to follow, and even some video to boot.

Anyhow, We had a lot of fun, and there will be lots to catch up on as time permits.

Stay Tuned...

As we have written in the past, on our Gotcha Day, we encountered some wonderful people who were actually visiting Anhui 8 years after their own Gotcha. We were able to meet Becky, Caitlin, and their parents, which was so wonderful. I know the story was told, how when Cathy (Caitlin's mommy) was in the taxi, waiting to leave, she saw the bus with Cady and Macy. She had the cab hold, and ran in to take some pictures of our little girls. She sent these to us a little bit back, though this is the first time I have posted them. I have trouble finding the words to express just how incredible it is to have these pictures along with our story, and how fortunate we are to have Cathy, Phil, and Caitlin along with us on our journey, past, present, and future.




We're still doing well, and we look forward to each morning when Cady wakes up to greet her new day, almost always with smiles and chatter. She learns things so quickly, and there are times when either Karen or I have to ask the other "Did you teach her that?" to which the answer is usually "I might have said it to her once.." As written in the past, it's never that she just repeats words or actions that she hears and sees, but that she understands almost every expression that she uses. If we could figure out what "Dum-mnn" is, which she says whenever she points to something (we think she is saying "something" or the like) we will be in really good shape.

So we went to the mall yesterday, for something that I have been waiting to get for some time. If you have looked closely enough, you will see that I am almost always wearing my Vans Classic Slip-ons. It's not just about style, but more because wearing laced shoes tend to hurt the top of my foot, so it's mostly about comfort. So we finally were able to get a pair for Cady, shown below along with a pair of Daddy's louder Vans.



For those of you who have a Gotcha moment coming up, once again as I have written in the past, we highly recommend that you request a visit to your child's SWI. Generally at the Gotcha Day, parents are allowed to ask questions about their child, such as what they like to eat, what they like to play with,and so on. This is usually the time when you can ask to visit. It's not always allowed, but it was such an incredible moment, you definitely want to do what you can to make that trip. It does come with some ups and downs though. Some have indicated that there can be a regression period after such a visit, particularly if the child had become attached. We understood that from the beginning when we made that request, and we were just extra attentive to Cady's signals after we completed our visit.

Another one of the big things that we encountered was not anticipated, even though we were also warned in advance about it. It's very likely that if you visit the SWI, you may not leave with an entirely fulfilled heart.

Even before we had our referral, Karen would hint at the possibility that we would want to adopt a second child after Cady was home and settled in. I would always brush it off and explain how tough it will be for us to handle one child, with working and such. Eventually it came down to the fact that we would not think about that until we had Cady home, and began learning how well we could raise her. Of course I could say this all I wanted, and yeah, Karen would nod, smile, and continue thinking about that second child.

For me, the wheels began turning on this after arriving home from China. Of course I think we're extremely fortunate that Cady has come to us so incredibly well adjusted, so that may cloud the thinking a little. In addition to that, the entire experience can be addictive. The entire process is so euphoric, that when home, there is definitely a pull back to doing it again, but not for all the right reasons. Rather than wanting to adopt again to have a second wonderful child in your lives, the real pull is the excitement of showers, referral, gotcha, adoption day, the red couch, Guangzhou, and so on. For those of you considering a second adoption, just be aware of that pull. If you can sit back, remove those thoughts of those exciting periods, and really feel that you want to bring another child into your lives, then bless you, bless you, bless you.

While cutting and mixing all of the video and stills from the trip, Karen and I talked more and more about a second child. We still have only a little idea about the obstacles that Cady will have in her life. We know to be prepared and aware that things will happen, and we plan to be prepared to encounter and handle those things in full force. But we have thought about how much of this she might still be doing alone, being on her own throughout this path. We'll definitely be there for her, but we cannot feel the things she feels. We can only hope to understand her feelings as she shares them with us. In this we too will be vigilant. While working on the video clips, I found myself spinning back to one particular piece over and over.



Yes, if you can't pick it out right from the video, it's the little girl in the green coat. While actually filming it, nothing registered about her. We were pretty overwhelmed with everything on this visit, and so I was just filming the play area. It wasn't until much later, back at home, that I started watching her more and more. Now I want so much to just hop in the car, and drive over to the SWI to take some more film clips just to see if I can tell what the pull is. Mind you, and this is very very important, my heart still belongs to Cady, and this is not just a "honeymoon's over" type of thing. I still can't figure out though what this pull is about. Could she be any child in any SWI that I wanted to bring home? I'm really not certain about that. Most of me believes it was just that she really seemed to know what was happening while we were walking by, and had thoughts and feelings about that.

When visiting our agency recently, I even mentioned it to our Program Director (Hi Rachel!) and I even showed her the video clip. Sadly our agency doesn't handle situations like that, though she offered us some recommendations on what we could try. I have to tell you though, that if she had told us that she could make it happen, we would be starting the paperwork as soon as someone allowed us to. Realistically, I doubt we could make it happen. If adopting parents are allowed to choose their children in any way, shape, or form, we have no idea how to do that, though we might send some letters to Half the Sky anyhow.

So what does this all mean? Well I'm not certain. If it's somehow possible to complete this concept in my head, then it will be done. If not, then Karen and I are still really seriously discussing the possibilities of another journey, another round of "Scott versus the airlines", and another incredibly magical moment in our lives.

Stay tuned...

Update: Wow. We had written about this experience on a couple of other message boards, and not only did people know who she was (she seems to capture a lot of people's eyes) but also that she has parents now hurrying to get to China to be with her. While I am very thrilled for this little girl, a little piece of me feels sad, but only for myself. I'm working that out in my head right now.

I promised I would write sooner, with something profound and insightful, but, to be honest, it's more difficult right now than it used to be. Are the hours of child talk with my daughter dumbing me down? Perhaps my mind is just getting numb without the verbal challenges of my co-workers and friends? (Hi everyone!) Could it be that I haven't had time to look at a newspaper or a book in months? Orrrr maybe I just spend more time trying to coax an extra hug and kiss from my sweet pumpkin lately, and am exploring the feelings of pure love for this little girl.

As I write at this point, I remember things that had occured to me in recent times that I wanted to mention. A few of the things I have learned about myself, and being a parent..

A standard 18 month old child will generate up to 5 times her own weight in trash each week. We're actually putting out full cans every Friday now.

Though I think this part is fairly unique to Cady, it's worth mentioning. All of the tests we had done for Cady after arriving home have come through ok, except she does have Giardia. In spite of the precautions that Karen and I have taken, we have had some possible symptoms of it as well. My last night in Guangzhou could have also been the point when I contracted it, or with the period it can take to develop, I may have even picked it up on the first day in China. All I know is that we're all taking bitter bitter medicine. Karen and I, being adults and all, manage the medicine with funny icky gooey faces, but Cady is another story. She has to take the medicine in a different form. It's 6 ml from a dropper 3 times a day. This stuff is nasty harsh, and it takes everything we have to get this medicine into her. The bitterness cannot be masked either. We tried mixing it with lots of things, and even heavily diluted, the child can tell it's in there and won't touch it. Now here's the kicker. We get it into her mouth, and she will hold it in her mouth. She doesn't spit it out at all. We now try to figure out ways to get her to swallow it so we can move on through the day, but there are times when she has kept this nasty stuff in her mouth for upwards of 45 minutes. So far the only thing we have gotten to work is to hold her nose in small time increments, just long enough for her to swallow a little. It breaks my heart 3 times a day to have to do this, particularly as some doctors say that if she doesn't have any symptoms (she doesn't), treatment may not even be necessary. We want to be certain though, so we do this to her.

Another new thing that I have learned is probably the most incredible. This is my first time as a daddy, so though it may seem obvious to some, it may not to others. It certainly didn't to me. In my history, I have known love. I have known love for my family, for girlfriends in my past, and very much so for Karen now. I have never known a love as strong as I feel for this little girl that we have brought into our home. Love for your family is a given. You grow up with it, and it's just an ever present thing that you have always known. Love for a companion ranges from a youthful crush to even an eternal bond with a spouse. Even love for God, in my history, much like that of my family, has always just always been. This love I have for Cady is beyond that. It's unequivocably and unconditionally present, and at the risk of being too mushy (yeah right, like I am in time to stop that) it is just gushing from me to my little girl.



It is truly the most powerful emotion that I have ever felt in my life.

Before Cady was in our home, I was fairly certain that I knew what it was like to be a daddy. Now I can say with absolute certainty that I do.

Here's another video I pieced together with lots of my favorite little snippets since Cady was within our reach. A couple of them you may have seen, but others are in the open for the first time now.

So it's been a while since I wrote, but not for lack of effort.

Quite a bit has happened in the past week or so, and I promise to write about it soon, either tonight or maybe tomorrow. We've had some ups and downs, but all of them have been really good learning experiences. I have a few thoughts on how things are working, and you'll all hear about it when time permits.

Meanwhile, we're making our first trip back to our agency today. It seems with the videos and writing on this site, Cady has become a little bit of a celebrity. Well we promise not to let it get to our heads, at least until we get really famous.

As the post title suggests, our daughter is dancing. Way back on gotcha day, when we were given an opportunity to ask questions of the SWI director about Cady, we were asking about the things she enjoys. All of the people from her SWI all laughed right when the question was translated to them, and they all started talking at once to our guide. Well the answer was a resounding "She likes to dance." So we danced a lot with her, and she loved it, but rarely did much other than rocking a bit. It was clearly dancing, but never seemed to really be something she was extra enthusiastic about.

Until recently.

She dances all the time now to the opening music from The Backyardigans and loves watching the show. She doesn't really watch television at all, and has almost no interest in any other television shows, but when this show comes on, she becomes fixated to the television. We certainly don't mind, as it's a very positive show, and it's not Teletubbies or Barney. I am told that Barney is hugely educational, and I can appreciate that, but it's far too sugary sweet for me to want to sit through. Barney still may happen, but Daddy may need to work into that one slowly. We're sticking with The Backyardigans for the moment.

The other night, while watching television, one of the Verizon commercials came on the air, and Cady ran out and really started dancing. It was the commercial with the music by Sean Paul (Temperature). Though the lyrics are a bit umm.. questionable, they are harder to hear, and Cady just loves the beat. Today we tried lots of other styles of music, from metal, to classical, to rock, and nothing gets my daughter dancing like hip hop. I have tried some other hip hop tunes as well, and she likes Bust A Move as well.

Writer's note: Daddy really hopes that the music he is describing right now really is hip hop, and that he is not openly displaying his ignorance right now.

So we got a few clips of her dancing, and now you too can see that my baby has some real moves. Note that we didn't teach her how to do this, and we're guessing that she just picked it up from the dancers on the commercial.



Considering that Daddy's music collection is quite a bit different (More than 10 hours of Beatles tunes), we're probably looking at an expansion of that in the near future, as income allows.

Enjoy

So we had a few days of sunshine here. Enough time to finally dry up the rain that has been soaking us over the past 2 months. Which allowed us to make a second excursion to the park. We have pictures on the links above and to the right, and then, of course, right here.

Cady enjoys the park, and her favorites are the slide and the sand, but I think her favorite is the swings, which is further enhanced when it becomes an interactive event with Mommy and Daddy. Giggles and laughs below.

Wow what a great reaction to the video. For those of you who are statistic minded, the regular bandwidth consumed on the site was usually about 2-4 GB per month, but when this video went up, we were at about 35GB of bandwidth in just the first 24 hours and sits at about 50GB right now.

We have received so many wonderful comments and emails to the video, and we loved reading them all. Thank you so much for letting us know how well you liked it.

I have a second surprise for you all now today. After Karen, Cady, and I visited the Hefei SWI that Cady spend her first 16 months, I wrote only a little about it, as it was a very emotional period. I know that I mentioned that, at the time, we weren,t sure if we even were going to share this clip, though I know that I indicated that it would be likely. Well, here it is. I was piecing it all together to go along with the adoption video, and had to trim it down to the 10 minute mark to put on YouTube, as putting it up with my normal host would likely result in another bandwidth surge beyond my allowable limit of 125GB each half month, and could take the site down for the remainder of the month.

Now that I have it done, I am anxious to share. Nothing fancy on this one, as it's just the pure video with some sound tweaks and a little background music. It's a good chance to see the Institution a little, but more to see how our encounter went with Jia Rong, Cady's caregiver for the entire time she was there.



We feel very blessed to have had a chance to visit, as I understand that such visits may be on the decline. It was a beautiful place, and, with only a few exceptions (mostly minor safety things) this place would fit well even in the United States for cleanliness and care.

Thanks as always for watching.

Since returning from China, I have been working on the video in increments. Between those little 15 minute blocks and nap times for Cady, I was able to sort and clip the individual pieces for assembly. Yesterday Karen took on the majority of the responsibilities (yeah, she did it all) while I marathoned the video project to completion. It's a 15 minute video (so it can't be done on YouTube), and I recommend having the sound on to enjoy it fully. I brought it in as an mp4 format, so it works perfectly in Quicktime (free), and may work with Windows Media Player. Karen, Cady, and I think it turned out pretty well, and we hope you do as well.



It will take a bit to load, weighing in at about 55MB in size, so you may want to start it and then wait a little bit before watching. Links in various parts of the page, including clicking on the image above or even right here.

Enjoy.

Briefly..

I used the Comic Life software to create a little mini story about the trip to China for Cady. We're going to print it out and try to get it laminated so that Cady will have something with pictures that she can play with. She loves when I am at the computer because she loves looking at all the pictures. She always points at the pictures of her, then points at herself. Now it's a little impressive, except that almost all of the pictures are of Cady, so it's pretty easy for her to get it right.

So the timeline was just a tad skewed to make it all run properly, but if you weren't reading daily, then you might not even know.

And so for your reading pleasure..

The Cady Pages

So we had a wonderful Easter, with a few incredible surprises, the first of which was the Easter Bunny visiting. Now then..

We saw that Sophie met the Easter Bunny..



And we saw that Tenley met the Easter Bunny...



But we had a special treat for Easter. We had a Frank the Easter Bunny...



It was so wonderful to have Frank sharing this Easter with us. I absolutely do not think it would have been the same without him. I wish I had gotten a picture with him and Cady together.

It was a weekend filled with so many learning experiences for Cady. It was so nice to bring Cady to visit this part of such a huge family that this little girl has, and she got along so well. We had no issues at all for the entire trip, and Cady is still behaving as if she has always been with us. We thought a lot about the rest of her family in Washington, South Dakota, and Texas, and wished that we could be with them as well, but it will all happen in time.

Cady has either a love for mimicry, or a real knack for playing with instruments, and she enjoys making sounds. We're considering an inexpensive keyboard purchase now, though if she ends up in another direction, we'll go there instead.



Words fail me (surprised, right?) in trying to express how nice it was to spend this weekend with Marc, Danielle, Nicole, Matt, Frank, Gramma Roberta, Daniel, and Char. We knew that they not only supported us, but were truly excited to have Cady in this family, and it was great to actually experience the real feelings of family on such a special weekend. I want to offer a special thanks to Nicole and Matt for being so good to your new cousin. I'm unable to count the number of times that I witnessed you both stopping in the middle of what you were doing to not only share it all with Cady, but to embrace her into this family with a full unconditional love.

The learning was not just for Cady either. Mommy and Daddy had a chance to share ideas with the family as well. Marc and Danielle have raised some wholly brilliant kids, and though they may not know it (well, they will when they read this I guess), they will be a model for that which we hope to give to our daughter. I wish that we had gotten some pictures with Cady playing with Danielle, and especially with her brother Dan, but there will be many more visits, and many more photo opportunities.

Thank you all for a beautiful weekend.



Easter pictures can be found from the link here and at the top.

So here we are again, back from China for 2 whole weeks now. We received a packet from our agency shortly after arriving home with a lot of information on what we have to do next (still quite a bit of paperwork) and some information on PADS(Post Adoption Depression Syndrome). It's not uncommon for parents to feel this depression after bringing their child home. Sadness, regret, doubts about yourself and your partner's ability to handle this task ahead. Adoption, particularly interracial adoption for our case, doesn't just end when all of the paperwork is completed. No no no.. It's a lifelong path. I'll talk more about that down the page. Excepting only one bad day, in which Karen, Cady, and I were all sick, needy, cranky, tired, and hurting, we have not experienced any of the symptoms of PADS. It's certainly possible that we may encounter symptoms further down the road, or not at all. We may be ok. We'll watch for it, and if we see it, we know what we can blame it on.

It hasn't all been a picnic. I've tried hard to present an even view of what we have encountered with having Cady in our family. She cries, pouts, throws small tantrums (though no big explosions yet) and all in all behaves like a child who is almost 2 years old. She hasn't yet experienced any night terrors (also not uncommon), we have gotten a clean bill of health from the doctor (so far, with only a couple of test results to come in), and she eats, drinks, poops, and sleeps. She likes to talk, though we're helping her build up her words now. She knows most everything we say, and can even follow instructions well. The other day, Karen told her to get her shoes and bring them to Daddy so we could go bye bye. She did it all right in order, bringing the shoes to me, not to the person that gave her the instruction, then proceeded without further prompting to head back to the garage. It's wonderful how well she understands everything. We have even taught her some sign language, though our doctor did inform us that while it's excellent to teach her this, it does slow down her vocal communications a little. So far Cady will actually tell us when she wants water, milk, or to eat all with sign. She does the hand motions for "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and seems to learn faster than we can teach. She knows who Mommy and Daddy are, and though it's only a perception, we feel that she does return our love.

So that's her development..

So how have Mommy and Daddy developed? We're doing well. I'm often oversensitive to watching my daughter. Are we spending too much time with her? Too little? Should we be trying to teach her this? Are we doing too much for her? Most parents know the routine, but this is my first chance to be a real daddy, and I really would like to do a good job. I try to study with much of my spare time the things we need to be prepared for in Cady's life. Of the things that we could encounter are:

Racism: Not just from white people, but from people of other races, even Chinese. A Chinese girl raised by white parents will see issues with this, and Karen and I will need to be prepared to learn these things rapidly as we encounter them. We need to understand that as people who were born and raised in a predominately white country, and though we consider ourselves very aware of racism, we need to be prepared to recognize it, handle it properly, and then support our daughter and help her with understanding and comforting her when this hurts. I'm not certain that we can ever be properly equipped to be ready for each situation as it happens, and hope that we can have a plan prepared out to ensure that we will always be there to help her with it.

Culture: We need to help and support Cady by ensuring that she knows her culture, not only her Chinese culture, but also the culture that surrounds her as a Chinese child raised by white parents. Originally I had so much planned for ensuring that she could learn Mandarin, that she would know the history of China at a national and local level for her birthplace, and that we would have her involved in each and every opportunity to experience this through local Chinese organizations. We would give her so much information that she could never feel bad, right? Well, after a little more study, it became apparent that doing this could cause her to feel isolated in an opposite direction, teaching her that even though she lives with us, she is still Chinese, and could be thought of as a way of saying that she didn't belong with us.

We need a balance. I see lots of information all over about this, and it always seems to indicate that it can only be one way or another. Either the child is accepted by Chinese people as if she were born and raised by a Chinese family, or that she will be raised as a white child with no hint of her culture. I see the third option, which is what she is. She is a child born in China, and who was adopted by a white family in the United States. I really don't think it will only be about finding a balance between being Chinese and American, but there is a huge community of children adopted from China who will all be experiencing similar issues, and with that, I think we can really find a basis to help Cady understand who she is, and to help Mommy and Daddy grow with her.

Could be, might be, possibly, maybe. We're learning, changing, and growing, and there is no end in sight. It's a thrilling ride, and of all the uncertainties, there are things I am very certain of. We'll never stop trying, we will always have our minds open to learn, and we're ready for this.

New pictures added as well at the top, under the "2 weeks home" link, and now that I have purchased an external hard drive, more video coming soon.

Hello again everyone!

A couple of things to mention before the thick of the post. I reworked the site a little bit again, by popular demand, back to the butterflies. I just needed to rearrange things a bit so that the top navigation bar doesn't fill up and overlap. To do this I created a pictures link at the top. All of the pictures are still there, but all linked on their own page now. As I add new picture lists, others might get bumped over to the pictures page.

Karen will write sometime, though we're back to where we were before we left for China, and that's separate desks. Karen has hers and I have mine, and since she has a Windows system sitting on her desk (I've tried, I've tried), she can't post as easily as I can.

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So we often hear that those parents of international adoptees are asked those questions. Why adopt? Why China? Everyone has their own answers and their own comfort levels with discussing these things, as is their right. Karen and I, unlike many (not all, perhaps not even most) didn't have to adopt a child. We're both capable of having children as far as we know, but adoption just felt right to us. There are lots of things about Cady that we really have no perfect answers for, and so people who ask have to settle for that answer. It just felt right. For whatever reason people choose adoption, I think we're all in it together.

So why China? Why not adopt domestically? I've often answered that question with the facts that we learned after making the decision. U.S. law dictates that for a very long time (I can't remember exactly how long), the child's birth parents can change their mind about giving up their child and take her/him back. This is great for those parents, but does not consider the new parents who have now fallen in love with their child. It was always an easy answer at that time, until I read something interesting written by an adoptee from Korea with her own blog called Twice the Rice. I'm so thankful to have found this site, as it provides me with invaluable insight of my situation with my little girl. I learned so much from reading it, some things I had never considered, and some things I did not want to believe. I do believe now, and I feel better equipped for my journey with Cady. I will post a very powerful statement that she had written about this issue now. Note that I am doing this without her direct consent, so if she does object, I may have to re-write this.

"Who is safe? Why is choosing international vs. domestic adoption about feeling safe? Is that what they tell their adopted children? We wanted you. We chose you. Because if we had chosen an American child, we might not have been able to keep him. But not you. You were safe. Because nobody would want you back."

Wow. I try to learn new things every day, and this was quite the thing to learn. What we say to one person can be translated so differently to others. I feel so terrible that I took this easy route when trying to answer that question. Now the absolute truth (I have no need to lie to anyone about it) to Cady's story is actually different than the answer I was using. Karen and I never even considered domestic adoption. I don't know why, but the subject never came up. Even when I first mentioned to Karen the idea, the picture in my head was a little girl from China. Perhaps this was influenced from something I had read or saw on television at sometime in my life, or perhaps it was influenced by something greater, but the truth is that I didn't even imagine adopting from anywhere else, domestically or internationally. We were driving to visit her brother Marc and the rest of Karen's family on Thanksgiving 2004 and during that drive, I brought the subject up to Karen, we discussed it, and by the end of the day, we agreed that when we got home, we would start researching it to make a well informed decision.

So why have a child at all? It was Karen that actually put the idea into my head. I won't discuss her thoughts on any of it, as that is her story to write, but I will tell you what brought this into my own head. It was how often Karen would tell me that I would make a great Daddy. She thought I was good with kids, and at one point, she was a little sad in feeling that we wouldn't have that opportunity for our own together. This was years before making the decision. The moment on that drive is etched in my memory forever. I do know that when the idea was presented, Cady was exactly 1 month old. I don't believe in pure fate. I do believe that God, in all his/her forms, does present us with opportunities throughout our entire lives. Opportunities to be good or bad, opportunities to accept or decline, opportunities to succeed or to fail at. I think that this was God's way of saying "Hey Scott, I have this little girl here who needs a family. Do you think you're up for it?"

Well yes, God, I sure do.

When I was asked during one of our interviews at our adoption agency why we wanted a child from China, I answered truthfully. From this point on, I will not look for the easy answer for this question. Whenever anyone asks Karen or I why we adopted, and why we chose China, they will now have the real answer.

Because that's where our daughter was.

Now for those of you more visually inclined, here's a picture of my daughter wrestling a bear.

So we've had a few days. We've laughed, we've cried, we've colored. Time is insane.

At some points, time seems to move like expected. A couple of hours seems like a couple of hours. At other times, I'll look at the clock and wonder what happened to the last 3 hours. I never expected so see such a fluctation in the space/time continuum. Some people talk about having no time once the child is brought home. This isn't entirely true. There is quite a bit of time available, though the catch is that it only comes in 5-10 minute increments. There are quite a few of them, but they are small bursts of availability. This allows me time to write periodically. Karen will write too, but while all of this busy activity causes me to ponder (which allows me to write), it causes Karen's mind to be exhausted. this affects our downtime. During my brief rests, I need to write, and Karen needs to rest her weary brain.

Contrary to how it may appear, Karen and I are doing tasks fairly evenly. A lot of it is time management. Karen's experience is so critical at this stage. Daddy can change diapers, dress baby, feed baby, and entertain baby, but Mommy can do in 3 minutes what it takes Daddy 10. What we're doing at this time is focusing on those things that we do most efficiently, and Karen and I work on the things we are slower at as time permits. Often while Karen is making the dinner, doing the laundry, or working on the new paperwork that we now have to get done, I'm keeping Cady entertained. When I write it, it sure seems as though I have the nice job, but this too can be a challenge. I try very hard to keep Cady mentally stimulated during her play. Not too much mind you, as kids need to be kids too, but this is such a learning period that I don't want to miss out on any opportunities.

Cady and I have lots of fun, as seen below, with the camera on the computer. She loves looking at the pictures, and loves the twisted effects that the software allows.






Cady has developed a few favorite toys, one being her new walker/car thing with the farmer theme. I don't have pictures, but I'm sure it will be seen often enough in photos and video in the future. She likes her talking Pooh Bear, and then there is the oddity.



This was something that I received as a bonus for a game expansion (Ultima Online) many years ago, and it just sat on a shelf for a long time. Until the little girl saw it while on a house tour. If it is a reasonable request, my baby gets what she wants, and she wanted this. She has no idea what it is, and has no concept of what a monster is, so to her it's just shiny and bendable, and she likes it. That's good enough for me.

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The thing that troubles me the most through all of this is that I watch the calendar, and I see the days move by, and I know that the time is coming when I have to go back to work. Karen will be able to stay off of work for about a month later than me, but I feel so terrible about this. We brought this little girl out of a Social Welfare Institute (SWI) and soon enough we'll be putting her into child care. The differences between the two to me is both great and small. The SWI that Cady came from was very clean, very bright, and very colorful, and very fulfilling. Yes, I will always feel that we have done well by bringing Cady home with us, and I will never worry that she is in a far better place now than she would have been growing up there, but we are taking her from one institution, and now looking at bringing her into another one.

It sucks, and it feels unfair to everyone in our family.

I make good money at what I do, but Karen is the real bread winner in this family. I only wish there was some way that I could stay at home with my daughter forever. The area in which we live is supposed to have very good public schools (we could never afford private) but Cady is so smart that I don't think she could ever reach her potential in a public school. I have every confidence that I could home school her and teach her so much more than she can learn in a public school. Sadly our income only barely exceeds our expenses, and much of this is expenses that cannot be cut at all (debts).

It causes me duress to no end. I wanted this child so that I could shape a mind. So I could share with her all the love that Karen and I have to give, and all the knowledge that we have to impart to her. I know there is much we can still do in our situation, but I don't know if I can ever convince myself that I will be doing everything that can be done.

...and thus ends another breakdown. Thanks for listening.

When you step outside of the White Swan from the ground floor (back entrance) out to the shopping areas, turn to your right, and walk straight out past the Bank of China, you will bump into a doorway to some shop that does paintings. Rather than go into that shop, follow the walk to the left, and you will reach another tourist shop that's kind of on a corner of sorts that sells virtually anything that you can buy from all of the other shops. If you cross any of the roadways, you will have missed it (though it is quite large and well lit).

I mention this shop for one reason. Stella.



At virtually any of the shops in Guangzhou, you can barter the price down. Sometimes they even start the bargaining for you with "Normally it costs this much, but I will let you have it for this much, just for you". As I mentioned, if you look at the differences in special pricing from one thing to the next, and take the most expensive "special price" and compare it to the least expensive, we're talking about 50 cents in U.S. dollars. It's not really that much. I have no idea if the prices in this shop were more or less than I could get at others because once we met Stella (standing in at about 4'3"), we were hooked. Every person in every shop will ask about your children, and they will really be interested. They love the kids, or at least put on a convincing show. Stella was either the very best at this, or was truly interested in the kids, or at least Cady.

There was a time when we were waiting for our bus outside the Bank of China, and she was heading to work. She took the time to stop to say hello to both us and the kids, and even trusted Macy with her cell phone/music player. She trusted Macy far more than anyone else did, as a 16 month old child is as likely to throw something as she is to dance to it, but there was no concern on this woman's face as Macy walked away with the phone to her ear.

Stella asked a lot of questions, and really seemed to want to understand everything we were doing. It never really felt as if she was only trying to generate more sales for the shop. We just started visiting her shop to get what we wanted. Just like we do in the states, I will pay more for good service, and friendly people. At the end of our trip, we spent some time just talking with Stella, and she never even tried to sell us other things. She just listened and talked with us. She insisted on our way out that she could take a picture with us, and so we stood back to let her pose with Cady. "No no" she said, "With all of you together."

We gave her our email addresses, and she later emailed the picture to us as well as offering us good wishes. Stella is a friend.

If you're still Guangzhou bound, feel free to print out this picture in advance, go to the shop, and ask for Stella. Show her the picture, I am sure she will remember, and I am also sure she will then give you a good price on the things in the store, "just for you".

Ok beyond some difficulty in keeping a sleep schedule for this part of the world, Cady seems completely adjusted. Our agency has sent us lots of paperwork with things to watch for and prepare for, such as tantrums, moodiness, and a change in eating habits. Sounds to me like a growing toddler anywhere. Cady has no real issues with anything right now, and we have broken many of the guidelines offered to us. On our very first night, we asked Kris and Paul to come over, mostly because I desperately needed help in returning the rental car and claiming that luggage that beat us to Sacramento by 4 hours. We spent a few hours together, playing and talking, and Cady absolutely loved having them around. Both Kris and Paul are very good with kids, and have all of the animated sounds and expressions that kids adore, and Cady loved having them around. She still knew who Mommy and Daddy were though, so we had no issues at all.

Within a few days of arriving back home, I even succumbed to pressure to bring her in to work to visit. There is a great concern about introducing the children to lots of strangers, as they can become confused about who their parents are. I saw no confusion with Cady at all. Each time she went near another adult, she would look to me for approval. Each time someone held her (she chose who could and couldn't) she would first look to me to see if it would be ok, and then when she was put back down, she would first come back to Daddy, then wander around a little more, always staying close. With the large number of adults this child was exposed to, the confusion of kids everywhere, lots and lots of noise around, it seemed a good match to the sales floor at Apple.



So there you have it. Pictures here.

On the developmental front, I'm struggling a lot with this one. I keep trying to find some comparison to where Cady should fit. The tough thing is looking at boxes for toys and such, looking at the age group, then seeing how well she works with that item. I don't think this process is going to work right. I think she is very bright, and she seems to have a grasp for some things beyond her age range. Then at other times, she struggles with toys for children much younger. We got her a pull toy dog that makes yipping sounds as it rolls. Cady just picks it up and carries it wherever she wants it to be, then gets bored with it because it doesn't really do anything. Now I have tried to think of what this means.

Could it mean that she is too logical for the toy? Why take so much time dragging this thing behind, when it's much faster to just pick it up and go where we want to go.

Could it mean that she doesn't grasp the concept of this kind of activity? It's possible that in her orphanage setting, they didn't have toys like this. Add to that, Cady may have never seen a child with a pull toy. Mommy and Daddy try to demonstrate these things, but let's face it, she knows we are not children. She knows we are different, and, hopefully, she knows already that we are Mommy and Daddy, and what that all means.

Could it mean that we have effectively overstimulated her by giving her too many toys at the start. I think I read somewhere that this could be an issue, and could encourage a lot attention span on the child, as they have so many other things they want to experience too.

Could it just mean that she is only 17 months old, and seeing a toy for the first time rather than at the minimum age recommended for this toy. She needs more than 15 minutes before her over-reactive Dad starts reading too much into it, and begins searching the internet for learning disabilities.

I mention these things as a lighthearted example specifically as how these children can be very much like those raised here, yet different in many ways. As it stands, what I think I will be trying more is simply ignoring those age recommendations, and if Cady seems to like it, we'll get it for her, though that ridable motorized Barbie Cadillac may not make it home unless Daddy qualifies for a low interest motorized car loan.

As always, it's wonderful to share with you all, and we appreciate having you around to keep reading.

Thank you.

Perhaps not yet, but we're not letting something like being only 17 months old, and only being in the United States for 4 full days stifle her creativity. To give credit where it is due, the idea came by way of the wonderfully talented Sophie, who I have been silently adoring since I ran across her blog about 5 or 6 months ago. Sophie has done her first painting, and her and her family are very proud of it.

Now, I would have gotten around to this soon enough, but Sophie's painting did remind me about it so off we went to get some supplies for Cady. We bought paints for her, though even I think it might be just a bit early for painting (Cady's A-yi Kris might be trying soon enough though).

No, we decided to start out with crayons.

So Daddy turned on some Bach (Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 in G/Allegro) and off we went. The first few minutes were spent exploring the crayons themselves, as I am certain that she had never seen those things. Once she got the hang of that, she studied the colors a little, and with a little assistance, she started figuring out what to do. As the real first drawing consisted of a lot of Mommy and Daddy's help, we put that aside and gave her a fresh piece of paper once she was running full speed.

The end result? Well you can see for yourself.



Daddy wasn't expecting trees, flowers, or rainbows yet, but I had hoped to see her studying the colors more on paper. she may be more musically inclined as some of that on the paper was because she was tapping the crayons to the music.

Or maybe I am just trying to elevate her too fast.

Either way, if she hadn't enjoyed it, I wouldn't have pushed her to keep going. She had fun, and even knew when a page was done and needed a new one.

(update: adding video in)
4 minutes, 03 seconds

I'll write again soon.

So here's a video clip from one of our nights in Guangzhou. Once this little girl figures out that she can do something on her own, there is no stopping her. At that point, she doesn't want help from anyone. She got the spoon a little off, and her aim needs some work, but you just have to reward enthusiasm like this.

It was harder to find music I liked for this one, but I think in the end I was able to get it right.



For those new to the site, or those wanting to look back at previous months postings, just look for the month listings (Feb, Mar) on the left side there.

So yesterday was our flight home. What a test of human stamina and endurance. I managed to go the entire trip without taking in the water, with tight mouthed showers and an extra vigilance in staying away from the glasses of water and ice. Everything went well until the last night in Guangzhou. I don't know what I took into my body to cause this, but it happened. Without going into details (you really don't want that) I will tell you that the illness lasted about 7 hours, and ended with a.. well, like I said, you don't want details.

Sadly, this sick period coincided with the time we needed to be packing for coming home. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife that did all of the work. Truth be told, she would have had to do most of it anyhow, as she would have wanted to know where everything was packed, and to know how safe everything was as packed, but if not sick, I would have been able to at least do what I was told (See, both a good Daddy and a good husband!)

Morning came fast, though I was waking up every hour or so because of, well, you know, that sickness mentioned above, and we got downstairs, fed baby, finished checkout and got on the bus to the airport. Everything working out just fine and on time, right? Now you might think this is all going too smooth, right? I know that I felt that things were going too well. So how did it go? Let's find out, shall we?

The flight to Hong Kong went very well. Cady took it all in stride, and all in all it was pretty normal. No real issues at all.



Here's a picture of us in the Hong Kong Airport waiting for our big flight to San Francisco. Karen and I were both tired from the previous night, and I was still queasy from the sickness, but we were doing alright. Besides, we would be able to sleep on the plane, right?

No. Not even remotely close.

You see, on a plane with lots of adopted children, there was occasional crying, and some fussing, but all around very peaceful except for one child. This child was not crying though, but he was screaming. Not the kind of screaming that is accompanied by crying, but that "I want it now" scream. Not a scream that you could adjust to either. I describe this not metaphorically, or in any exaggeration. Imagine a skyrocket whistling from the ground into the sky. That loud, ear piercing whistle as it heads to the sky. Now imagine that skyrocket not leaving the ground, but just sitting there whistling, screaming at you from 10 feet away. Now imagine this screaming lasting not 10 seconds, but lasting 30 or more seconds, only stopping for the child to gather up enough breath for another. Imagine these bursts lasting for 20 minutes or more, with occasional breaks of up to 30 minutes at the most. Imagine this all lasting for the entire 11 hour flight.

Initially I felt for the mother, and I even told Karen something like "It's not her fault. She just got the child and is learning how to deal with these things" until she pointed out an important point. This was not an adopted child. It was her biological son. Now, I'm definitely not one to judge another person's parenting, particularly since I am just now starting my own journey as a real parent. Who knows what mistakes I will make, and what damage I may do to my own daughter. This is different. I really believe that you cannot raise a child from the womb to have him turn out like this without doing something very very wrong. My sympathy for this woman was gone. Cady slept some on the flight, but this screaming was even waking up the other children. Children raised in an orphanage. Children who sleep while 50+ other babies cried continually.

Once again, Karen was the big trooper. Even though Cady did sleep some, the screaming made for a very fitful rest for her, so she was tossing a lot. I tell you this right now, you would be foolish to not buy a seat for your child at least on this flight home. On one of these big planes, it is rare, but the plane can literally drop 300 feet very rapidly. Rapidly enough to cause a non-belted child to fly into the air, then land with an impact that could kill them. It did not happen on our flight, but it can happen. For more practical reasons, having the extra space to change diapers, sit the baby, and breathe was worth the cost of the ticket. Anyhow, because of this restlessness, Karen stayed awake for the flight to ensure that even when sleeping, Cady would not roll off of the seat. I managed some sleep, getting in 30-60 minute drifts. We didn't know it at the time, but it would come in handy later on.

Landing in San Francisco, we proceeded to the Immigration line to get the magical stamp, making Cady a U.S. Citizen. Know in advance that these people do not seem to have any joy in their job. One person who was doing the paperwork sounded very Hispanic, and the other one helping her was Asian, yet neither of them even had a hint of excitement at the fact that our beautiful angel was becoming a citizen. Stamp, stamp, flip flip, hereyougothankyouverymuch. You're not allowed to even take pictures there because it is an immigration service, so we couldn't even do that. Even though our next destination was Sacramento, because it was an international flight, we had to get all of our bags and take them through customs. This is what everyone has to do with every flight coming into the country, so it was not a special thing, just a very annoying one. So we're a quick 1 hour flight from home. We're exhausted, but so close to home, a warm soft bed, real food, and the beginning of our new lives together. Only a 1 hour flight.

Cancelled.

They cancelled our flight to Sacramento. Not delayed, but completely cancelled. I absolutely hate United Airlines. These people will take every opportunity to blame weather and flight control to catch up from their own incompetence. They never take responsibility for their own lack of efficiency. Rather than actually work hard to catch up the flights that are delayed, they just chose to cancel one. Even after that, they still ended up an hour behind, then having to delay other flights. "It's ok though," they told us. "We have you booked for the 10:30 PM flight to Sacramento." That would be in 12 hours.

The United Airlines staff then got to meet Mama and Papa Bear. They finally told us that there was a 12:30 flight that they had under-booked. Now under-booked really only means that they did not over book it, and had just enough seats sold as were on the plane. Chances slim, but we were assured that we, having a very hungry child, 2 diapers left, and parents that were running on about 18 hours awake, would get priority on any vacant seats. So we waited. We had no choice. We could either try to get our checked luggage (with what was left of our diapers and dry cereal) and have to go through all of the check-in again, or try to wait it out. So Cady got cereal mixed with cold water while Mommy and Daddy struggled to stay awake. 12:30 came, and guess what? This flight was now delayed, and slated to board at 1:30. So again we waited. I went to the counter about every 20 minutes to ask them if we were wasting our time waiting, or if we should try to call someone from Sacramento to come get us. This would have been another 4 hours to get home if we could find someone able to leave work and drive out to get us. Finally we were told that everyone who had a ticket had checked in but one person, and that the priority would go to the person with the most express miles or something. We were not getting on this flight. We had no options left. Well we could get our bags and go to a hotel and sleep, then try to sort it out the next day or something with fresh minds.

Nope. We couldn't get on that plane, but they sure managed to put our bags on it. They were on their way to Sacramento.

Ugh. What could we do??

Well in a mindless haze, not even sure if we were thinking properly, we rented a car. I drove to Sacramento after not sleeping for 20 hours or more. We made one stop to get something for Cady to snack on, and some caffeine for myself, but we made it to Sacramento. We didn't even bother to go to the airport for the luggage, as we would then be wanting to drop off the car. Well we still had no way to get from the Airport to home. There was the shuttle, but my best 2 ladies had been through enough. I took them straight home.

At home, we called our best friends and complete saviors Paul and Kris, and they came over from work (yes we used our baby to draw them over) and took me to turn in the car and get the luggage. I hadn't been able to eat all day due to the sickness from the previous day, so I was on no food and no sleep, and now no mind. I was riding on pure instinct, and that was failing me too.


Thanks only to them, we managed to get everything done, and we could then rest in our own beds...



...at least until morning.

Well here it is, the official starting point for Chapter Two of the Cady Chase. At the top of the page (left sidebar) you will see the link back to Chapter One, our magical adoption days.