Sep 2006
Page update
Just removing the
separate links page, and adding it to the sidebar,
with an update on links that have changed.
Just to add some content, a couple of videos from the past and recent past. They've been on YouTube for a little while already, so some people may have already seen them, but here are the two..
Video iChat with Fish Sun at Apple's sales center in California 2 days after Gotcha Day. Music by Ray Charles.
A collage made recently with many pictures already seen and used, but others not used. I was more testing a new program for slideshows, so made another "day 1 to current" type of slideshow. Music by Faye Wong.
Just to add some content, a couple of videos from the past and recent past. They've been on YouTube for a little while already, so some people may have already seen them, but here are the two..
Video iChat with Fish Sun at Apple's sales center in California 2 days after Gotcha Day. Music by Ray Charles.
A collage made recently with many pictures already seen and used, but others not used. I was more testing a new program for slideshows, so made another "day 1 to current" type of slideshow. Music by Faye Wong.
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She's a friggin' genius
If there was blogging in the 18th century-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
October 12, 1761- Written by Leopold
I know that every parent wants to believe that his child is really a genius, and we try very hard not to set expectations for little Wolfgang so terribly high, but he is such a bright boy. He has recently completed his first composition, and though only 20 seconds long, it's really quite good. He wrote it for the harpsichord and has titled it Andante in C. As I wrote, we don't want to label him a genius, but this is a very good work for a child who is only 5 years old. I've tried to post the mp3 here in the blog, but digital music will not be invented for some time yet. I can try again later...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So yeah, this is how I feel far too often. No, I don't think Cady is genius level, at least not at a savant level anyhow, but she is definitely exceptional. At school, she was scheduled to begin "shadowing" in the older class this past week. Now, the school's plan for shadowing is that she can begin her day in the upper class, and they watch to see how she handles it, and how well she fits in, then return to the younger class for the remainder of the day. This process is set to run for a couple of weeks at the minimum. Cady spent her first day with this schedule, but then the second day she just spent the whole day in the older class. We were a bit surprised that on day two I was picking her up from that class rather than the younger one. Day 3 was the same, and so on. Her teacher feels that she is ready to enter that class now rather than waiting for the evaluation period, and that Cady is well ahead of those that she shared the past months with, and is on par with the students in her new class, and even ahead of some of those kids. We don't want to set such expectations for our little girl, but it seems that Cady has her own agenda and is now finding the challenges that she needs on her own.
That's my little girl.
We work very hard not to push her into advanced learning, but have essentially tossed all of the developmental books out the window. For that matter, we've left all of the adoption (and specifically China adoption) books on the shelves. Cady has proven to us that if we just let her advance as she wants, she's going to be in incredible shape for her future. We don't look at the age recommendations on toys and things that we buy for her, and we just sit and learn whatever she's drawn towards. We talk to her all the time about things as we would talk to an adult. We watch for what she grasps, and we build on that. It's not just that she is smart, but that she truly loves learning things. This is the fun stuff for her. The only thing I try to bring in more of for her learning are things that will improve her creativity. She's incredibly left brained, so we do try to encourage more right brain activity for her.
We don't want to label her as an exceptional child, but it seems that's the first thing everyone tells us after even spending a short time with us. Today we had our 6 month evaluation, and, naturally, as our social worker was leaving the house, she was just repeating over and over how brilliant Cady was. It seemed to be very important to her to convey to use that she was an incredibly smart child, offering comparisons to every other 2 year old she has met.
I absolutely believe that some of this is genetics, and that she has had great advantages in that her time in China was spent under an environment very welcoming to learning, but I also think that Karen and I are on the right track. I believe that we have greatly contributed to her learning and development, and we do feel a sense of pride in her advancement (If we could only take credit for her beauty). I think that Cady has yet to find her place developmentally, and I will not be surprised when, a year or so later, when we are told that she is ready to advance to the next class, well ahead of her classmates. Until we're comfortable that she has found her median, we will continue to leave her in the driver seat, naturally with appropriate guidance.
On another positive note...
If you've followed the blog from the beginning, particularly the adventure in China itself, then you know AnneMarie. We've recently reconnected with AnneMarie's mommy and daddy, and are fortunate to have even received some pictures. I've mixed a "then and now" image to share with everyone. She's come so far, and is both brilliant and beautiful. We're anxious to find an opportunity to get together with her and her family soon, as we miss them all very much.
Without further adieu..
We hope to hear from Macy soon as well, and if we get some pictures, I will be happy to share.
Comfort
Sometimes, Cady cries at
night, in the middle of the night. Perhaps she bumps
her head on her crib rails, or maybe she has a bad
dream, and awakens from it, wanting comfort. I'm not
really sure. When we hear it on the video monitor
while in bed, and I'll go into her bedroom to comfort
her. I'll usually start with patting he on the back,
and telling her it's all okay. If someone were to
tell me that their child woke up, I'd say that it's
probably better if you don't pick her up. Just pat
her on the back and she'll be fine.
For some reason, that doesn't usually work with Cady. I say, "for some reason", but I think I know the reason.
Last night, she cried and I went in to comfort her, patting her on the back. She kept crying until finally she called out to me. I picked her up and she leaned heavily into my chest and shoulder as I swayed back and forth to comfort her, and she settled down quickly. After a bit of time, I told her that she's going back to bed and she accepted the idea without argument.
She doesn't wake at night often, but it does happen. No amount of comforting or patting on the back will do. In fact, it usually irritates her and tends to wake her further in her frustration. As I consider her past, I realize the possible reasons that she's more agitated and stressed when I do not pick her up to comfort her. Most likely, when she was in the orphanage, no-one picked her up at night. It's very practical when you consider all the children that might cry or simply fuss at night after being startled for whatever reason while in their cribs. But, when they're babies, they need to be held at night. I can't be certain that she wasn't, but it makes sense.
For some children, patting them on the back will work when they awaken. They might not like it, but eventually they learn the pattern and fall back asleep with the knowledge that their parent is there. With all the times that I've tried to do that to get her to go back to sleep, I know that will not work for her. She needs to be held during these times. She needs to feel me close to her. And then she's okay.
We'll never really know what she had to endure while in the orphanage, and most likely neither will she. It will all be forgotten. Without showing her pictures of her time in China, or of her nanny, she would forget consciously that any of that time occurred at all. But I do know that this little girl was brave. I know that she comforted herself at times when most children are comforted by parents. I know that she faced the unknown - head on, and this made her stronger.
Look at her face in this picture. It was taken soon after she was delivered to the hotel, just minutes before we met her. This is not the face of a weak child. She looks so brave. She was taken away from her nanny, the only comfort she had known for 16 months, and brought to the hotel with another nanny and the director of the orphanage. I don't know of any 16 month old children that could be taken away from their mommy, on to a bus, and to a new place without crying out. She didn't cry that day at all, except for the short time that she saw me crying with joy. After about an hour, she was almost in a catatonic state of mind, but she did not cry. She obviously did not have the capability to use words at that age. She could not understand all that was happening or why it was happening. But she did not cry. She looks lonely and scared in this picture, but she also looks as if she's willing to take on whatever comes her way.
That's how Cady is. She is strong, and capable. And when I say that living in an orphanage for 16 months made her stronger, that's exactly what I mean. She has an inner strength that's indescribable. But I also know that every once in a while, she needs to be reassured that she no longer has to face life alone. I know that when she cries at night, patting her on the back does not comfort her. In these incidents, picking her up and letting her hold me is not only the right decision but it's a healthy decision, and one that makes her even stronger.
To this day, I'm in awe of our little girl's capacity to not only cope, but to embrace life with all that comes her way.
For some reason, that doesn't usually work with Cady. I say, "for some reason", but I think I know the reason.
Last night, she cried and I went in to comfort her, patting her on the back. She kept crying until finally she called out to me. I picked her up and she leaned heavily into my chest and shoulder as I swayed back and forth to comfort her, and she settled down quickly. After a bit of time, I told her that she's going back to bed and she accepted the idea without argument.
She doesn't wake at night often, but it does happen. No amount of comforting or patting on the back will do. In fact, it usually irritates her and tends to wake her further in her frustration. As I consider her past, I realize the possible reasons that she's more agitated and stressed when I do not pick her up to comfort her. Most likely, when she was in the orphanage, no-one picked her up at night. It's very practical when you consider all the children that might cry or simply fuss at night after being startled for whatever reason while in their cribs. But, when they're babies, they need to be held at night. I can't be certain that she wasn't, but it makes sense.
For some children, patting them on the back will work when they awaken. They might not like it, but eventually they learn the pattern and fall back asleep with the knowledge that their parent is there. With all the times that I've tried to do that to get her to go back to sleep, I know that will not work for her. She needs to be held during these times. She needs to feel me close to her. And then she's okay.
We'll never really know what she had to endure while in the orphanage, and most likely neither will she. It will all be forgotten. Without showing her pictures of her time in China, or of her nanny, she would forget consciously that any of that time occurred at all. But I do know that this little girl was brave. I know that she comforted herself at times when most children are comforted by parents. I know that she faced the unknown - head on, and this made her stronger.
Look at her face in this picture. It was taken soon after she was delivered to the hotel, just minutes before we met her. This is not the face of a weak child. She looks so brave. She was taken away from her nanny, the only comfort she had known for 16 months, and brought to the hotel with another nanny and the director of the orphanage. I don't know of any 16 month old children that could be taken away from their mommy, on to a bus, and to a new place without crying out. She didn't cry that day at all, except for the short time that she saw me crying with joy. After about an hour, she was almost in a catatonic state of mind, but she did not cry. She obviously did not have the capability to use words at that age. She could not understand all that was happening or why it was happening. But she did not cry. She looks lonely and scared in this picture, but she also looks as if she's willing to take on whatever comes her way.
That's how Cady is. She is strong, and capable. And when I say that living in an orphanage for 16 months made her stronger, that's exactly what I mean. She has an inner strength that's indescribable. But I also know that every once in a while, she needs to be reassured that she no longer has to face life alone. I know that when she cries at night, patting her on the back does not comfort her. In these incidents, picking her up and letting her hold me is not only the right decision but it's a healthy decision, and one that makes her even stronger.
To this day, I'm in awe of our little girl's capacity to not only cope, but to embrace life with all that comes her way.
Sarah McLachlan video
Most of the time, you'll
find that this space is reserved for Cady and our
family escapades. But, on occasion, something will
catch my attention and I'll feel compelled to bring
it to this blog. The viewing of the following video
is one of those times. I first saw the link for this
video when I was viewing another blog a month or two
ago (forgive me for not recalling whos-if it was
yours, give a shout)
Sarah McLachlan has such a beautiful voice, and the lyrics in her songs are usually eloquently stated. She's one of the few high profile artists who understands that her popularity can be a platform for powerful and thought provoking messages.
World On Fire
This video, in particular, captures that description about her public personality so well.
Sarah McLachlan has such a beautiful voice, and the lyrics in her songs are usually eloquently stated. She's one of the few high profile artists who understands that her popularity can be a platform for powerful and thought provoking messages.
World On Fire
This video, in particular, captures that description about her public personality so well.
Side note to Cathy
Cathy,
WOW, you remembered that Cadence's birthday is in October! I'm flattered that you took the time to consider that.
You are so dear, and we feel very blessed to have bumped in to you and your family while we were at the hotel in Hefei and again in Guangzhou at the White Swan Hotel. It was such a bazaar encounter, and one that I think was pre-destined to happen.
You really have no idea how precious the pictures are that you took of Cady on the day that we met her, but before we actually did.
The pictures are priceless.
As for Macy's or Anne Marie's parents, we lost their emails when we had gotten a virus on our computers and had to reformat everything. We're hoping to get the email information from our agency to get updates on the other girls.
Thanks again, for everything.
Karen.
WOW, you remembered that Cadence's birthday is in October! I'm flattered that you took the time to consider that.
You are so dear, and we feel very blessed to have bumped in to you and your family while we were at the hotel in Hefei and again in Guangzhou at the White Swan Hotel. It was such a bazaar encounter, and one that I think was pre-destined to happen.
You really have no idea how precious the pictures are that you took of Cady on the day that we met her, but before we actually did.
The pictures are priceless.
As for Macy's or Anne Marie's parents, we lost their emails when we had gotten a virus on our computers and had to reformat everything. We're hoping to get the email information from our agency to get updates on the other girls.
Thanks again, for everything.
Karen.
Thoughts on the waiting game
After we started the adoption process, and before our
documents were sent to China, we thought for sure we
would be getting our daughter by September '05. In
fact, we were so sure of it, that we had cards
created announcing that we would be expecting her
referral in September, and sent it out to all of our
friends and relatives.
September turned in to October, which turned in to November, which turned in to December....January 06 came along, then we received our referral in the end of January 06. In fact, it was really January 29th to be precise, so you can really consider it a February referral. February '06 was five LONG months from our first thought of September '05.
The upside was that we had more time to build our finances for the adoption, but it was so hard....so very hard to wait. It's a difficult concept to explain to anyone that hasn't been through it before. If you could imagine expecting a baby in September, and finally delivering her the following February. I think the hardest part of the wait was the not knowing of who she was, even though we felt an emotional connection to her.
You can read about it here, on our first blog
And here
Or even here
Now, only five months after Gotcha day, life is as normal with our baby girl as it ever could be. It's as if we have been together always, and things are just as we had ever planned.
Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), our paper work was stalled four months, the same four months that Cady's papers were sitting at someone's desk at CCAA, waiting to be matched with her "forever family". Her photos and information were 4 months old by the time we got the referral. We had no idea what to expect even after the referral, which made us almost as anxious as not getting the referral yet.
The referral picture (above) shows her holding on to a counter top in order to stand up. It was taken in October or November 05, and we ironically were expecting our referral of her at that same time. The next picture was taken while we were in China. It shows that she could not only stand on her own by then, but could walk very fast. We had no idea how much she had grown nor what to expect. All that we had were the very outdated photos we had at referral.
But I say to all of you waiting for your referral, try to enjoy your time now...I know, I know, easy for me to say, while you still wait. But, you know that the time will come that you will get your little girl (or boy). Relax. Go shopping once a month for something frivolous to add to your baby's closet of goodies. Read that book that you were always going to read, but didn't find the time to read. Enjoy your time to do the things you can do on a whim, without carting a diaper bag, extra snacks or a bottle. And know that the invisible thread that connects you is more powerful than any amount of time you might wait to get her.
After we received our referral, life was so busy preparing for Cadence....And while we were in China, life was a big whirl. I would not give up the time between referral and traveling to China, or our time IN China, for anything at all. It was nearly addicting. It was such a rush receiving her, bonding with her, and getting to know her.
It was new and chaotic.
It was innocent and scary.
It was (seemingly) a long time ago.
And now, Scott and I really have no "free" time like we had while we were anxiously awaiting our referral. We used to contemplate the idea of getting new computers, or going antique shopping for fun, without even considering the finances. Now, most of our extra money is spent on excellent daycare, diapers and child's clothing. Many of my extra vacation days (that I saved all of last year) are spent at home when she's sick or too cranky to go to daycare. We both work overtime when we can, to make up for the extras that we need for her or the things we want to do with Cady.
However, my "me" time is gladly given up for the opportunity to watch my daughter learn new words. And traded for taking bubble baths with her after a long day. And used for rediscovering what cool water feels like on bare feet, or watching how excited she gets when wind blows out of nowhere to touch her face and tassel her hair. I spend my time making butterflies with my hands and reading about spots on a critter that wants to belong in the zoo. I'm constantly looking for my hairbrush that Cady found an hour earlier, or wondering where the postage stamps went, only to find that Cady discovered the "new stickers" on my desk.
Yes, enjoy your spare time now. And embrace the family time that comes when it comes...and it will come. Don't look back later, wondering where the free time went, and wish it were back. But, enjoy your free time now...Know also, that it will all come and go with the blink of an eye.
September turned in to October, which turned in to November, which turned in to December....January 06 came along, then we received our referral in the end of January 06. In fact, it was really January 29th to be precise, so you can really consider it a February referral. February '06 was five LONG months from our first thought of September '05.
The upside was that we had more time to build our finances for the adoption, but it was so hard....so very hard to wait. It's a difficult concept to explain to anyone that hasn't been through it before. If you could imagine expecting a baby in September, and finally delivering her the following February. I think the hardest part of the wait was the not knowing of who she was, even though we felt an emotional connection to her.
You can read about it here, on our first blog
And here
Or even here
Now, only five months after Gotcha day, life is as normal with our baby girl as it ever could be. It's as if we have been together always, and things are just as we had ever planned.
Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), our paper work was stalled four months, the same four months that Cady's papers were sitting at someone's desk at CCAA, waiting to be matched with her "forever family". Her photos and information were 4 months old by the time we got the referral. We had no idea what to expect even after the referral, which made us almost as anxious as not getting the referral yet.
The referral picture (above) shows her holding on to a counter top in order to stand up. It was taken in October or November 05, and we ironically were expecting our referral of her at that same time. The next picture was taken while we were in China. It shows that she could not only stand on her own by then, but could walk very fast. We had no idea how much she had grown nor what to expect. All that we had were the very outdated photos we had at referral.
But I say to all of you waiting for your referral, try to enjoy your time now...I know, I know, easy for me to say, while you still wait. But, you know that the time will come that you will get your little girl (or boy). Relax. Go shopping once a month for something frivolous to add to your baby's closet of goodies. Read that book that you were always going to read, but didn't find the time to read. Enjoy your time to do the things you can do on a whim, without carting a diaper bag, extra snacks or a bottle. And know that the invisible thread that connects you is more powerful than any amount of time you might wait to get her.
After we received our referral, life was so busy preparing for Cadence....And while we were in China, life was a big whirl. I would not give up the time between referral and traveling to China, or our time IN China, for anything at all. It was nearly addicting. It was such a rush receiving her, bonding with her, and getting to know her.
It was new and chaotic.
It was innocent and scary.
It was (seemingly) a long time ago.
And now, Scott and I really have no "free" time like we had while we were anxiously awaiting our referral. We used to contemplate the idea of getting new computers, or going antique shopping for fun, without even considering the finances. Now, most of our extra money is spent on excellent daycare, diapers and child's clothing. Many of my extra vacation days (that I saved all of last year) are spent at home when she's sick or too cranky to go to daycare. We both work overtime when we can, to make up for the extras that we need for her or the things we want to do with Cady.
However, my "me" time is gladly given up for the opportunity to watch my daughter learn new words. And traded for taking bubble baths with her after a long day. And used for rediscovering what cool water feels like on bare feet, or watching how excited she gets when wind blows out of nowhere to touch her face and tassel her hair. I spend my time making butterflies with my hands and reading about spots on a critter that wants to belong in the zoo. I'm constantly looking for my hairbrush that Cady found an hour earlier, or wondering where the postage stamps went, only to find that Cady discovered the "new stickers" on my desk.
Yes, enjoy your spare time now. And embrace the family time that comes when it comes...and it will come. Don't look back later, wondering where the free time went, and wish it were back. But, enjoy your free time now...Know also, that it will all come and go with the blink of an eye.
