May 2009
Reporting to the Next Idea
05/07/09 19:48 Filed in: CadyCast
Cady Cast now here. We’ll see if the idea takes
off, and if we can have enough to talk about to have
more. Note that the site is heavily QuickTime
oriented(download and install for free right here), so please just clicky
on the star to visit. When you get to the next
page, to see the podcast, click on the next
star, or click on the tab at the top that says
CadyCast.
Too much happening
05/07/09 18:30 Filed in: Performances
There are a lot of events happening around her in the
next couple of months.
Tomorrow I’m going to a tea party at Cady’s preschool to celebrate Mother’s Day. I love these kinds of events and the special time it gives Cady and me to be together to celebrate our mother/daughter bond. And she has a (hand around mouth, and whispering loudly) SPECIAL GIFT to give me during the event. No one tell Scott, but I adore handmade presents so much more than bought ones. I’ve been wanting a sapphire ring for a long time now, but every year we run in to budget issues, so every year it becomes a part of my wish list for the next year. But when I get those cute little hand made goodies of love, somehow it just doesn’t matter any more what else was on my wish list.
After tomorrow’s event, on May 16th, Cady is going to have her spring performance in Jazzerettes on stage. The following week, she will have her yearly performance for Kinder Dance, a combination class of ballet and tap. Then, next month my baby graduates from preschool.
Pictures to come of all the events.
But for now, here’s a few pictures of her practicing for Kinder Dance.
Sometimes she looks so old and serious.
Stretching, with feet in first position
The “Dancer Walk”.
But she really does love this class.
Showing some attitude
Tomorrow I’m going to a tea party at Cady’s preschool to celebrate Mother’s Day. I love these kinds of events and the special time it gives Cady and me to be together to celebrate our mother/daughter bond. And she has a (hand around mouth, and whispering loudly) SPECIAL GIFT to give me during the event. No one tell Scott, but I adore handmade presents so much more than bought ones. I’ve been wanting a sapphire ring for a long time now, but every year we run in to budget issues, so every year it becomes a part of my wish list for the next year. But when I get those cute little hand made goodies of love, somehow it just doesn’t matter any more what else was on my wish list.
After tomorrow’s event, on May 16th, Cady is going to have her spring performance in Jazzerettes on stage. The following week, she will have her yearly performance for Kinder Dance, a combination class of ballet and tap. Then, next month my baby graduates from preschool.
Pictures to come of all the events.
But for now, here’s a few pictures of her practicing for Kinder Dance.
Sometimes she looks so old and serious.
Stretching, with feet in first position
The “Dancer Walk”.
But she really does love this class.
Showing some attitude
Some nights, it's difficult
Tonight is one of those difficult nights.
After everyone else had gone to bed. I sat for a while in the quiet of the living room. I started thinking about my children, and felt so blessed that they love me, and that they’re safe. I realized it’s very feasible that Melody is already alive. My heart was heavy with the possibilities that she needs me.
I sat there and realized how fortunate we were with Cady. She was healthy, she was loved, she was taken care of before us. She smiles so brightly. All that we could possibly want for her, with the circumstances as they were, her needs were met, both physically and emotionally.
I sat here tonight with similar worries to the burdon I had for Cady before we became a family. I haven’t felt so connected in a worrisome, motherly way since we were waiting for Cady. At that time, I wavered between feeling good that we had chosen to adopt a child whom we knew was older than the normal toddler, but worried more so, knowing that she could have been harmed in that time without us. The same feelings welled in me tonight, but about Melody. Once again, we’ve asked for an older toddler. And even though it hurt, knowing Cady was without us for all those months, we felt a need to ask again for the same age range (12-26 months old). It was all paperwork and stamps and money and more research for a short while. It didn’t hurt till tonight. Knowing that she might already be born, and alone.
Are we really going to be just as fortunate again? COULD WE? Is she safe? Is someone watching after her, caring about her NOW? Can I love her as much as I do Cady? Will it all just click together, as if it was supposed to be from the beginning?
So, tonight, I prayed. I prayed for my adult son. His happiness. His needs.
I prayed for my daughter whom I already know. That she stays safe. That she stays happy.
I prayed for my daughter whom I have not met yet. That she is able to bond with someone who will care about her, and love her enough to give her happiness.
I feel equally connected to all three, but know that each has a different path for me in their lives.
Tonight was the first night that I really felt the need to comfort my baby. It felt good. It felt good because it made me realize that I can love her as deeply as I do my other children. But it also felt sad, and lonely, because it was the first time that I really thought about being here with Cady, cuddled in, reading her a book, feeling happy....yet knowing that her sister is most likely out there, without us. And this is all I could do.
If nothing else, these thoughts and prayers bring me closer to the power of believing.
After everyone else had gone to bed. I sat for a while in the quiet of the living room. I started thinking about my children, and felt so blessed that they love me, and that they’re safe. I realized it’s very feasible that Melody is already alive. My heart was heavy with the possibilities that she needs me.
I sat there and realized how fortunate we were with Cady. She was healthy, she was loved, she was taken care of before us. She smiles so brightly. All that we could possibly want for her, with the circumstances as they were, her needs were met, both physically and emotionally.
I sat here tonight with similar worries to the burdon I had for Cady before we became a family. I haven’t felt so connected in a worrisome, motherly way since we were waiting for Cady. At that time, I wavered between feeling good that we had chosen to adopt a child whom we knew was older than the normal toddler, but worried more so, knowing that she could have been harmed in that time without us. The same feelings welled in me tonight, but about Melody. Once again, we’ve asked for an older toddler. And even though it hurt, knowing Cady was without us for all those months, we felt a need to ask again for the same age range (12-26 months old). It was all paperwork and stamps and money and more research for a short while. It didn’t hurt till tonight. Knowing that she might already be born, and alone.
Are we really going to be just as fortunate again? COULD WE? Is she safe? Is someone watching after her, caring about her NOW? Can I love her as much as I do Cady? Will it all just click together, as if it was supposed to be from the beginning?
So, tonight, I prayed. I prayed for my adult son. His happiness. His needs.
I prayed for my daughter whom I already know. That she stays safe. That she stays happy.
I prayed for my daughter whom I have not met yet. That she is able to bond with someone who will care about her, and love her enough to give her happiness.
I feel equally connected to all three, but know that each has a different path for me in their lives.
Tonight was the first night that I really felt the need to comfort my baby. It felt good. It felt good because it made me realize that I can love her as deeply as I do my other children. But it also felt sad, and lonely, because it was the first time that I really thought about being here with Cady, cuddled in, reading her a book, feeling happy....yet knowing that her sister is most likely out there, without us. And this is all I could do.
If nothing else, these thoughts and prayers bring me closer to the power of believing.