Cady Chase

So ends Chapter One

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-05-27T10:50:28-07:00

Alright, so I have tweaked the site to keep everything loading properly for our visitors, as well as allowing the updates to work easier for us. We won't be doing any other updates to this page, but we're certainly not letting it vanish. It will always be here, and I will definitely keep links up between all of the sites as they are. I've trimmed all of the posts on this site down to our arrival in the United States, and moved over those which followed to the new location. You can go onward to Chapter 2 by clicking here, and in the upper left sidebar. This next chapter will have a new RSS Feed, so if you are using bloglines or any other type of blog tracker, please be sure to update.

Thank you, and we appreciate your understanding.

Independant little girl

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-04-01T04:55:40-08:00

So here's a video clip from one of our nights in Guangzhou. Once this little girl figures out that she can do something on her own, there is no stopping her. At that point, she doesn't want help from anyone. She got the spoon a little off, and her aim needs some work, but you just have to reward enthusiasm like this.

It was harder to find music I liked for this one, but I think in the end I was able to get it right.

For those new to the site, or those wanting to look back at previous months postings, just look for the month listings (Feb, Mar) on the left side there.

Thank you all for sharing this with us

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-31T02:16:44-08:00

This posting began just as replying to the many comments we were unable to respond to while in China. We read every one, and all were appreciated equally. Mainly I was trying to address questions and some specific comments, and it just got longer and longer, so I brought it in as a post on its own. Words really cannot express how wonderful it was to share this with so many friends.

Tammy

Thanks for reading! We're settling in very well, and to be honest, Cady is behaving as if she has been with us forever. I'm still waiting for the ball to drop as I have often read about issues that the kids have when brought home, and if it happens I will be ready, but right at this point, we seem to be fantastic. I think that with as terrible as the trip home was, it might have gotten her so mixed up with sleep, that we may have accidentally gotten her on the right track immediately. She went to sleep in her crib a little late at about 9:30, but we're close to the 8:30 bedtime we had in China.
--------------------

Scott

Yeah yeah, haha.. I'm so glad that my *pout* suffering caused you so much joy. Too bad we didn't have pictures to make a comic, eh?

Kidding aside, thanks for the welcome home, and all of the great wishes while we were in China. While there were times when we had to choose between answering the comments and getting more news and pictures up. So I didn't get to offer my appreciation, I can tell you now that it was so very nice to have the feeling that there were people back at home sharing with us.

The Scott versus United Airlines fight was much longer than the fight between Scott and the soft cushy warm bed, but the outcome was the same. No competition. Yeah, I lost them both.

Thanks so much again, and believe me, we will be going to Washington, and we would be very excited to spend some time with you and your family. Hugs to Kai.

--------------------

Shelley

Thanks as always for sharing this with us. We're so proud of our little girl for how strong and brave she has been through all of this that she had to endure. She held out better than Karen and I did at times, though she also got to sleep better and only had to be cute in her stroller while Mommy and Daddy had to keep up with schedules and appointments, and tours, and paperwork, and.. well, you've been there.

--------------------

Audrey!

Thanks for reading. It's all about steps. Our hearts go out to you and all of the others who are seeing news about so many delays in getting off to your children. It makes all of the frustration we had with our own delays seem small in comparison, but it will all be forgotten when your baby is in your arms.

I do hope you plan on blogging your own journey. It's beneficial not just to friends and family, but also to your own personal state of mind. It can be very therapeutic. Many people are jumping into it with no skill level, so if you worry about that, then don't. People don't care how the site looks, but in sharing your angst and your joy. I hope that if you do, you will email me to let me know because I would love to follow along.

--------------------

To everyone who has written throughout this journey but did not get a direct response to their questions.

Nicole: Cady will be so happy to play with you when she sees you. We are hoping to see you very soon.

Marc: Sorry, but I told Cady that Uncle Marc wanted her to wear black and silver and she said, "Bah bah bah bah" Which I could only assume means "Absolutely NOT" in Mandarin baby talk.

Ed and Deanie: We know the work must be done, but we are also tickled that you stopped working daily to watch the Cady Chase. Your granddaughter will save you some hugs and you might even get a kiss, if she decides on it.

Cherie: You're right, she is both beautiful and smart. She's gonna keep us both in line.

Beth: Karen says she will be in soon with Cady. Thanks for cheering us on.

Cindy: I got to talk to Mom on the phone, and though Cady has no idea what a phone is, we did get her to giggle for her near the phone. We're excited to look for a time to come visit.

Tiffany: I'm glad you could follow along with us, and we're anxious to bring Cady to come see her South Dakota family. I'm confident that you will adore her as much as we do.

David: Wow! It was pretty amazing that we would always get a comment or an email with advice about something exactly one day before we needed it. It was almost as if you could read our minds.. Well I guess there was this blog :) Thanks much!

Monica: We checked and checked in every city we were in. If China has Mountain Dew (not even Mellow Yellow), they hide it from tourists. Paul will have to find a substitute. I'm sorry.

Jeff and Anne: I sent you an email. We'll help in every way that we can. Karen, Cady, and I will help you guys get through. Don't be shy about calling.

Yoli: You'll get there. If our hearts could influence time, you would have your Sally now. We're here for you.

Terra: You will find out just how playful she is when we do get to visit. Just when we think this little girl is tired, she finds another burst of energy. We don't know where she gets it, but we suspect that she keeps that inside her cheeks. I hope to see you soon and thanks for reading.

BiBi: I'm really sorry, but the blanket was hand-made by Cady's auntie from South Dakota. She absolutely loves it and does find it comforting when trying to hide from that sleep thing that catches her sometimes. She doesn't realize yet that the blanket actually just helps her sleep.

To everyone who has been following and leaving such wonderful comments for us. Even the short congratulatory messages were so welcomed. No matter how many times I write it, I can never feel that I can convey the real appreciation we have for everyone to be reading our journal.

We will continue writing and continue adding as we go, and we have no plans to stop.

Thank you all again.

Congratulations Mr. Andersen, It's a U.S. Citizen

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-30T10:55:21-08:00

So yesterday was our flight home. What a test of human stamina and endurance. I managed to go the entire trip without taking in the water, with tight mouthed showers and an extra vigilance in staying away from the glasses of water and ice. Everything went well until the last night in Guangzhou. I don't know what I took into my body to cause this, but it happened. Without going into details (you really don't want that) I will tell you that the illness lasted about 7 hours, and ended with a.. well, like I said, you don't want details.

Sadly, this sick period coincided with the time we needed to be packing for coming home. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife that did all of the work. Truth be told, she would have had to do most of it anyhow, as she would have wanted to know where everything was packed, and to know how safe everything was as packed, but if not sick, I would have been able to at least do what I was told (See, both a good Daddy and a good husband!)

Morning came fast, though I was waking up every hour or so because of, well, you know, that sickness mentioned above, and we got downstairs, fed baby, finished checkout and got on the bus to the airport. Everything working out just fine and on time, right? Now you might think this is all going too smooth, right? I know that I felt that things were going too well. So how did it go? Let's find out, shall we?

The flight to Hong Kong went very well. Cady took it all in stride, and all in all it was pretty normal. No real issues at all.

Here's a picture of us in the Hong Kong Airport waiting for our big flight to San Francisco. Karen and I were both tired from the previous night, and I was still queasy from the sickness, but we were doing alright. Besides, we would be able to sleep on the plane, right?

No. Not even remotely close.

You see, on a plane with lots of adopted children, there was occasional crying, and some fussing, but all around very peaceful except for one child. This child was not crying though, but he was screaming. Not the kind of screaming that is accompanied by crying, but that "I want it now" scream. Not a scream that you could adjust to either. I describe this not metaphorically, or in any exaggeration. Imagine a skyrocket whistling from the ground into the sky. That loud, ear piercing whistle as it heads to the sky. Now imagine that skyrocket not leaving the ground, but just sitting there whistling, screaming at you from 10 feet away. Now imagine this screaming lasting not 10 seconds, but lasting 30 or more seconds, only stopping for the child to gather up enough breath for another. Imagine these bursts lasting for 20 minutes or more, with occasional breaks of up to 30 minutes at the most. Imagine this all lasting for the entire 11 hour flight.

Initially I felt for the mother, and I even told Karen something like "It's not her fault. She just got the child and is learning how to deal with these things" until she pointed out an important point. This was not an adopted child. It was her biological son. Now, I'm definitely not one to judge another person's parenting, particularly since I am just now starting my own journey as a real parent. Who knows what mistakes I will make, and what damage I may do to my own daughter. This is different. I really believe that you cannot raise a child from the womb to have him turn out like this without doing something very very wrong. My sympathy for this woman was gone. Cady slept some on the flight, but this screaming was even waking up the other children. Children raised in an orphanage. Children who sleep while 50+ other babies cried continually.

Once again, Karen was the big trooper. Even though Cady did sleep some, the screaming made for a very fitful rest for her, so she was tossing a lot. I tell you this right now, you would be foolish to not buy a seat for your child at least on this flight home. On one of these big planes, it is rare, but the plane can literally drop 300 feet very rapidly. Rapidly enough to cause a non-belted child to fly into the air, then land with an impact that could kill them. It did not happen on our flight, but it can happen. For more practical reasons, having the extra space to change diapers, sit the baby, and breathe was worth the cost of the ticket. Anyhow, because of this restlessness, Karen stayed awake for the flight to ensure that even when sleeping, Cady would not roll off of the seat. I managed some sleep, getting in 30-60 minute drifts. We didn't know it at the time, but it would come in handy later on.

Landing in San Francisco, we proceeded to the Immigration line to get the magical stamp, making Cady a U.S. Citizen. Know in advance that these people do not seem to have any joy in their job. One person who was doing the paperwork sounded very Hispanic, and the other one helping her was Asian, yet neither of them even had a hint of excitement at the fact that our beautiful angel was becoming a citizen. Stamp, stamp, flip flip, hereyougothankyouverymuch. You're not allowed to even take pictures there because it is an immigration service, so we couldn't even do that. Even though our next destination was Sacramento, because it was an international flight, we had to get all of our bags and take them through customs. This is what everyone has to do with every flight coming into the country, so it was not a special thing, just a very annoying one. So we're a quick 1 hour flight from home. We're exhausted, but so close to home, a warm soft bed, real food, and the beginning of our new lives together. Only a 1 hour flight.

Cancelled.

They cancelled our flight to Sacramento. Not delayed, but completely cancelled. I absolutely hate United Airlines. These people will take every opportunity to blame weather and flight control to catch up from their own incompetence. They never take responsibility for their own lack of efficiency. Rather than actually work hard to catch up the flights that are delayed, they just chose to cancel one. Even after that, they still ended up an hour behind, then having to delay other flights. "It's ok though," they told us. "We have you booked for the 10:30 PM flight to Sacramento." That would be in 12 hours.

The United Airlines staff then got to meet Mama and Papa Bear. They finally told us that there was a 12:30 flight that they had under-booked. Now under-booked really only means that they did not over book it, and had just enough seats sold as were on the plane. Chances slim, but we were assured that we, having a very hungry child, 2 diapers left, and parents that were running on about 18 hours awake, would get priority on any vacant seats. So we waited. We had no choice. We could either try to get our checked luggage (with what was left of our diapers and dry cereal) and have to go through all of the check-in again, or try to wait it out. So Cady got cereal mixed with cold water while Mommy and Daddy struggled to stay awake. 12:30 came, and guess what? This flight was now delayed, and slated to board at 1:30. So again we waited. I went to the counter about every 20 minutes to ask them if we were wasting our time waiting, or if we should try to call someone from Sacramento to come get us. This would have been another 4 hours to get home if we could find someone able to leave work and drive out to get us. Finally we were told that everyone who had a ticket had checked in but one person, and that the priority would go to the person with the most express miles or something. We were not getting on this flight. We had no options left. Well we could get our bags and go to a hotel and sleep, then try to sort it out the next day or something with fresh minds.

Nope. We couldn't get on that plane, but they sure managed to put our bags on it. They were on their way to Sacramento.

Ugh. What could we do??

Well in a mindless haze, not even sure if we were thinking properly, we rented a car. I drove to Sacramento after not sleeping for 20 hours or more. We made one stop to get something for Cady to snack on, and some caffeine for myself, but we made it to Sacramento. We didn't even bother to go to the airport for the luggage, as we would then be wanting to drop off the car. Well we still had no way to get from the Airport to home. There was the shuttle, but my best 2 ladies had been through enough. I took them straight home.

At home, we called our best friends and complete saviors Paul and Kris, and they came over from work (yes we used our baby to draw them over) and took me to turn in the car and get the luggage. I hadn't been able to eat all day due to the sickness from the previous day, so I was on no food and no sleep, and now no mind. I was riding on pure instinct, and that was failing me too.

Thanks only to them, we managed to get everything done, and we could then rest in our own beds...

...at least until morning.

Last post from Gaungzhou

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-28T04:45:57-08:00

I

It's now 9 pm China time, and we have so much to pack. We went to the US Consulate today, for our swearing in ceremony. There wasn't too much ceremony to it. Basically, the woman at the front said to raise our right hands and then she asked, "Do you swear everything you have told us in your paperwork is true and accurate?" All hundred (plus) families said, "I do". She then said, "You are now free to go home". The two other families we have traveled with went to dinner with us for a last get-together in China, and we said our good-bye's. We are now in our hotel room trying to figure out how to pack everything. We leave our hotel tomorrow morning (Wednesday) at 6 am, China time, and we will arrive home, at the Sacramento Airport at 12 noon, California time. What a wonderful journey this has been so far. It's as if we have been a family since the birth of our daughter. She is ready to meet her relatives and the friends that we love back home. We hope to very soon take a trip to South Dakota to visit all of her cousins and grandma and uncles and aunties. And another trip very soon, as well, to Seattle to visit Grandma and Grandpa. There are so many exciting times waiting for Cady and for us as her parents. But don't think for one minute that Cady has been caught. We are still chasing her.
Love to all,
Karen, Scott and Cadence.

Next stop......Home. Here's to the softer bed waiting for us back home.

A surprise for Gotcha Day

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-27T21:43:50-08:00

Our Gotcha Day was last Monday. We were told on Sunday night that our babies would come to the hotel at 9am, and delivered to the second floor. We were also told by our guide that breakfast is served buffet style in the lobby starting at 7am.
So, of course we all met downstairs at 7am to have breakfast, knowing (assuming, anyway) that they wouldn't bring the babies in through the front door, we assuned they would find a back door and whisk them upstairs to the second floor for us at 9am. While we ate breakfast, we met two couples that were visiting with their 10 year old daughters, Becky and Caitlan, who were adopted in China (I think on the same day, together) as babies. They were all so happy for us to be having Gotcha Day that morning.

(Becky and Caitlin in the Novotel Hotel, in Hefei, the morning of our Gotcha Day)

We then went upstairs to the second floor around 8:30 am to wait for the babies. at 8:45 am our guide came upstairs and said that the babies were waiting for us downstairs in a conference room. DOWNSTAIRS? What?? Our guide cheated!!! He obviously told us upstairs so that we would not be downstairs when they came in. It was a wonderful cheat though.

The day after arriving in Guangzhou, we were having breakfast at the White Swan Hotel, and we saw the same two couples with their daughters. We showed them our new daughters, and one of the mothers said that the morning of our Gotcha Day, when we met them in Hefei, as they were getting into the taxi to go to the airport to Guangzhou, they saw a car drive up with two babies that could walk, and another that could not. (Cady and macy are walking as they are 16 and 17 months old, Anne Marie is not walking yet because she is only 11 months old. She said to her husband that she knew they were our babies and she had to get out and watch them come into the hotel. Amazingly, she was so excited about our Gotcha Day that she rushed out of the taxi and took picutres of Cady and Macy walking in to the hotel with caretakers, and of Anne Marie being carried in. She had no idea she would see us again, but it was that much of a wonderful memory for her own Gotcha experience that she wanted pictures. After speaking to them again in Guangzhou, we got their email addresses and they will be sending us the pictures that she took. What a wonderful experience to tell Cady.

(Caitlin and Cady in Guangzhou) (Becky and Cady in Guangzhou)

It was so exciting to see those families again in Guangzhou and also to know that one of the mothers actually got pictures of our babies walking into the hotel. It was a piece of our Gotcha that I can experience all over again, from a new angle.

Daddy might like the kiss but..

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-27T21:38:44-08:00

...from the looks of this picture, he will have to wait in line for those kisses later on. So, get them while you can, daddy.

Red Couch Day

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-27T15:36:24-08:00

First bit of news is that I had to change the look of the site a little. Once that first row of linked pages was used up, the second row was hard to see unless you knew to look at them so I changed it a little so that the links are now easier to see and navigate. I added in a couple of pages of pictures yesterday from our last day in Hefei and our first day in Guangzhou.

Now then, on to the fun.

Yesterday was Red Couch Day. For those of you not in the Chinese adoption loop, Red Couch Day is a traditional event. No matter where in China you are adopting from, your last city is Guangzhou, where the remaining paperwork is completed. This is the city where the U.S. Consulate is, so everyone comes through here. This is a very large city, though most often people will either stay at the White Swan Hotel, or the Victory Hotel. There are adopting parents everywhere. It's an amazing thing. The White Swan Hotel has many many red couches around the public areas, and it became tradition near the last days to gather up your own group, dress up the kids in the traditional chinese clothing that is sold at nearly every shop around the place, and take your pictures on one of the couches. Now, I originally had thought there would be just one main couch, but the reality is that there are a couple of areas with about 8-10 couches each. You just pick one, drop the kids in, try to get lots of pictures, then later on you get to sort out which of those pictures has the largest number of kids smiling (or at least not crying) and keep the good ones. We seem to have lots of red-eye issues, and I was able to repair much of it, but there is still some glow in the eyes on some shots. As you can see above, I only need one of the many pictures taken during the day, but I will upload all of the good ones for you anyhow.

Enjoy, and thanks for watching.

Playing in Hefei

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-26T20:46:34-08:00

This one goes back in time a bit, but I did want to share it with everyone. This one might tax you if you are not madly in love with Cady, as it is a bit lengthy at just under 10 minutes in length.

Editing takes a long time, and I couldn't find the points to cut out easy enough. It's all precious to me.

Anyhow, it's some good fun that we had in the hotel room back in Hefei on the cheerleader day.

In the beginning you can even see Karen watching her in the mirror and pretending not to see her. She tends to be a bit more reserved if she thinks she is being monitored.

Into Guangzhou

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-26T06:04:59-08:00

Well we have been out of action for a few days, so this will be very lengthy.

Remember how I posted before my flight how my greatest source of stress with this whole thing was the airport stuff? Well I sure do have a story to tell you.

We were up on time Friday morning (Thursday morning in the U.S.), checked out, and ready for our guide to take us to the airport for our flight to Guangzhou, where we complete our paperwork with the U.S. Consulate. There was one problem though. Cady and Macy were from the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute) in Hefei, and so we had received our final notary stamps on adoption day (the day that the giggles video was shot). Now the third in our group had not received their notary on that day, and they were told that they would have that from the SWI when they visited. Unfortunately, when they did visit, the director was not present, and no officials were there at all. They were then told that they would have it by Friday morning at noon before we got on the plane. Our guide also warned them though that if something else went wrong, and it did not arrive, they would have to wait in Hefei until it did arrive. They would be stuck there until they had that notary!

Luckily, at the very last moment, the notary arrived, and we were all able to go to the airport together. After check-in, as we were going through the inspection point, our guide gave us a last wave, and told us that there was a chance that they flight might be delayed a little. The flight was scheduled to be at 2:15. At about 2:10, we hear an announcement that our flight was delayed "indefinitely". What?? So we waited, and watched the flight board. Now, all we could understand on this board was the flight number (MU5225) and the time, which now was blank. After 3 more hours of waiting, someone from the airport came to talk to us. She did not know much english at all, and was trying to tell us that she was going to give us a voucher for the hotel by the airport? Voucher? We asked if the flight was cancelled, and she did not understand. We finally called our guide again on his cell phone, and he spoke with this woman. They were getting us hotel rooms just for the children to rest until the flight, expected to take off at 7:00 now. Ok, so we were being put in a room for a couple of hours.

Now, this was supposed to be a short flight. We had just eaten, and had fed the babies, so the food for the babies had been checked. Our carry-ons were just light snacks like Cheerios, crackers, and such. This is not what a baby needs.

On our gotcha day, I had promised my baby that she would never be hungry again. Now this promise was being tested. So the women stayed with the babies, and the men hunted for food. This is an area of Hefei where nobody speaks english. We managed to get some people to understand that we had to feed our babies, but all they could tell us was that there was no food. None.

A very kind girl walked us about a quarter mile from the airport hotel to this very small shop, that only sold junk food. We managed to get some milk, and some muffins that were not too sweet, and then some crackers. It was not a great meal, but we worked with what was available. When we shopped at a grocery store, an average purchase for me was like, 6 16 ounce bottles of Coke, a big bottle of water, and some snack food. Easily $25-$30 in the US, but it in Hefei it was usually about 30 Yuan (about 4 dollars). This little bit of junk food was 55 Yuan. Yeah, we were robbed in China. This woman knew we were getting food for our babies, and that we could go nowhere else. We could not argue and paid her angrily.

At about 6:45, someone from the hotel knocked on our door, and said it was time to go to the airport again for our flight. The hallways in the hotel flooded with people all coming out of their rooms and heading to the airport. Apparently in China, if your flight is delayed long enough, the airport lets everyone have a room to stay in until the flight is due. The flight was delayed due to weather. Can you imagine a U.S. airline doing this for a delay caused by something they could blame on the weather? If I wasn't so stressed at that moment, I would have been impressed. No wait, it gets even better.

Back at the airport, we got back up to our gate area, and there was a huge line of people by a desk. Every time someone got to the front of the line, they would sign something, and then they would be handed money. Well, encouraged by John, the more adventurous of our group, we decided to get in that line too. We got to the front, and we were given a paper to sign, and we asked why we were getting money. In China, if your flight is on time, for whatever reason, you get part of your ticket cost back. This flight to Hefei was about 480 Yuan each, and we were now just each refunded 100 Yuan because the plane could not land in our airport due to weather. Wow.

Anyhow, our flight finally got off, and we landed about 10 PM, and then checked into the White Swan in Guangzhou at about midnight. Sadly, we were scheduled for a big day on Saturday, and had to be up and ready to go at 9 AM. We unpacked only what we had to, fed Cady, and tried to get some sleep.

Saturday was loaded with first the doctor visit, then the Six Banyan Temple, then some shopping. Oh boy.

We survived the doctors visit, and Cady passed well enough. One of the doctors even squeezed Cady's thigh (she has big thighs) and said "very strong!"

I'm not normally a fan of putting up naked baby pictures, but she loves my hat, and she is just so cute.

After the doctor, we went to the temple. I know there are lots of things that are important and have to be done in Guangzhou, but this one was most important to Karen and I. Cady is from China, and though not all Chinese people are Buddhist, many are. I was raised Lutheran, but my beliefs are now different. I believe that there are many paths to God, and none of them are more important to others. The most important thing is that you strive towards being the best person that you can. We asked Janet, our guide, first if she would help us pray and offer incense at the temple. She was very happy when we asked, and helped us with all of this. After that, we entered the temple and asked her again for her help in asking one of the monks to offer us a blessing. She did so immediately, and told us after the blessing that the monk gave our family a very special blessing for long life and happiness.

Next stop was the temple tower itself. This thing is very tall. I don't remember how many levels this thing has, but it is an accomplishment to reach the top. I just kept moving my feet forward and up. I believe it is 9 stories but I really can't remember. I do know that I made it to the top and my legs were quite rubbery.

After that, it was shopping, and then an exhausted sleep, but not before honoring a promise that I made to Hui-Hui.

We'll get you some more pictures soon, hopefully tomorrow I will get all of them organized right.

Very quick updates

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-23T18:02:16-08:00

It appears we have a happy medium with bonding at this time. She goes to either of us when she needs something, or wants to hand the adult a toy. She gives daddy kisses and mommy kisses at various times. She rallies for Scott's attention and if she can't get it at that time, she comes to mommy, and vise versa. I'm so pleased that she now sees both of us as her caregivers, her parents. The positive thing about being adopted from an orphanage, is that their regression is strong but fast. We are so wonderfully proud of her intellectual behavior as well..Now for some bragging. Since day one, we have said to her "good girl" when she does something we want her to do. Yesterday, she was getting into her stroller and after we got her in there, she said "goo ger" We were unsure but happy, assuming that she said "Good girl" to herself for doing what we wanted her to do. Then last night, it became obvious that she was, indeed calling herself a good girl. Scott was walking with her and handed her the cheerios bowl. And plain as day, she said, "Daddy, goo ger" pointed to him, and smiled. Today, I gave her a bottle of apple juice which she loves then handed her to Scott. As I'm typing this, with Scott feedling her a bottle on the bed, she pointed to me and said, "Goo ger".

I also would like to post a bit about our visit to the orphanage. I was so pleased to see how clean the orphanage is and truly loving the nannies are. Cady's nanny has been with her since she was 4 days old and brought to the orphanage. Oddly, her nanny's name is JiaRong, and Cady's Chinese name is QingRong.

We have a lot of video of her nanny (above) with Cady.

I think more goes on in that matching process than what anyone really knows, including the person that makes the decision. My biggest thing that I prayed for during our wait time was that Cady would be loved before us. I desired strongly to have a good picture of her and her nanny together, so that I could tell her she was loved without hesitation. What we received from the orphanage was incredible. When we went to the SWI, nannies came running out to greet Qing Rong....When we got to her floor of the SWI, my heart was heavy suddenly...and out stepped her nanny. She ran to Qing Rong, and kneeled down by her stroller. A HUGE tear came out of her nanny's eye and onto Cady's shirt. After she picked up Cady, and hugged her, she put her through the window of the play room, and then I hugged her nanny...She fell apart and wept in my arms, but she was happy that Cady was going to a good home, probably as happy as I was that Cady had been loved for almost 17 months. the things that are done in Cady's world, are done with her permission and her asking. We are sure that her nanny treated her as if she were her own child, allowing her to eat when she was hungry, not just shove food in her mouth for her. Cady has specific wants and dislikes, and she is very much in control of her world. She has also been read to often. When she saw a book that I brought with us, her eyes lit up and she immediately started turning pages and reading (babbling) right to left (as Chinese books are written) . We spent some time with her nanny, and recorded her telling Cady what she wishes for her future. We had asked her to do so. When we left the SWI, we were presented with a journal that her own nanny had updated monthly, sometimes weekly, with a picture to accommodate each update from the time she was found at 4 days old, till 3 days before we got our Cady. She also included hand prints and foot prints in red, every 3 months on some of the pages. The last page of the journal has a picture drawn in colored pencils, with trees, a Chinese bridge in the middle of the picture, and a house to the side of the picture. Below, there is a written paragraph...perhaps a poem, or just wishes for our Cady's life. She signed and dated it.
This is so much more than what I prayed for, so long. My biggest prayers were that she is safe, and feels loved while in the orphanage. She was obviously both. I got to thank the beautiful nanny that loved her for so long. JiaRong was the woman that put the barrette in my daughter's hair when she was 9 months old and took the picture for her passport photo, which we received with the referral pictures. JiaRong was the woman that put the barrettes in my daughters hair for the referral pictures, when she was 12 months old. And JiaRong was the same woman that put the (very) large barrettes in my daughters hair for Gotcha Day, as evidenced below. It was important to her nanny, JiaRong, that Cady's parents know with those subtleties that she is loved. And Cady's parents do know.....and now JiaRong knows that we know.

More later, now we must pack to go to Guangzhou where we will stay for the remainder of our trip, (around 5 more days)

If you thought I wouldn't do this, then you don't know me

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-22T22:07:29-08:00

This was our first day off since getting Cady. There were no tours, no appointments, and we just got to play all day. Today was another big one, as we started with a little dress up and some running around. We let Mommy have the time with Cady today, and I had to play the disinterested one. With all of the other attempts to get Cady to be with Mommy more, I was nearby, and watching, and talking. We would do ok until Cady would hear me, or see me watching her, then she would insist on coming to me. Our morning consisted of me sitting at the computer and not interacting with her. It was hard for me because I didn't even get my morning kisses.

I *sniff* survived.

Karen got some good and much needed bonding time, and Cady really started seeing Mommy as someone other than the one to go to when hungry and when it was bath time. I've done some of this too, but Mommy is the main one for that. I'm learning it.

Daddy's reward was worth it.

People have asked about the bonding process, and how to help keep it even so that one parent is not excluded from the process. It absolutely varies for each child, but I will generalize a few things that I have learned that might help. These things work with a toddler level child, who has a very clear understanding of what's going on.

When we get our babies, we try to be oh so gentle. They are so precious, and we reach out slowly, touch softly, caress, gently hug, and even try to play very carefully. This was my habit when we got her, and though I would not change this behavior for the first day, when we were just trying to understand each other, but day two is a good time. This is a very different situation than raising a child from the womb, but think about any child from anywhere at this age. We grab, poke, wiggle, spin, dance, and we play hard. Add to this the fact that these children have been raised very abruptly. Never harshly mind you. I can attest to that. I have seen the orphanage, and I unless they painted the walls just for our visit, and told everyone in this very big building to be extra gentle with the children in case we walked in, then I can tell you that the people working here want every child to get through this. My point is that these kids are handled as children, not as priceless vases. Being treated too softly is totally alien to them.

I emphasize this though. Start softly, and build up fast. When we got Cady, she behaved like a 3 month old. That first few hours of bathing, dressing, and talking, she was in a near comatose state. She had no idea what was happening, and she was frightened. All she did was sit on the bed with us and looked around. She didn't move her arms or legs or anything. Soft was good. Within a few hours she was more like a 7 month old. At this point we didn't even know if she could walk. She was becoming curious about things, and would lean over to try to see things out of her line of sight. She noticed the stacking cups. She started exploring her toys. By the next day, she was more alert and moving around. We learned that not only could she walk all by herself, she was very good at it, and really enjoyed it. You've seen the video.

If I could do it all over again, I would have started with a little more play appropriate to her age. Still softer than normal, but beginning to ramp it up a little. We didn't do this. We still treated her softly. In the end, and at this point, we have overcome and surpassed what we may not have gained on day two, but it made the day tougher than it had to be.

Another good tip that we learned just last night and have been working on ever since is that I think the child will always pick one parent and begin that bond. Where they are from they know many people, but they come to rely on only one. Just that one person for feeding, changing, playing, and being put to bed. They may not understand what this pair of people is supposed to be about. I personally feel that no matter what you do or how you do it, the child will pick one.

Now here's where it gets important. When the child has picked their parent, two things need to happen.

(1) First, that other parent needs to never stop trying. Grab that child and steal kisses. You bet she or he will cry, but you take them anyhow. Remember, we're retraining them that there is more than one now. Let the child cry, this is why most agencies recommend you spend time alone in the room together. These children will cry, and it will hurt you to the core. Take those hugs, and take those kisses. You and the child deserve them. Always keep it a game. Make lots of funny sounds, make wiggly airplane fingers and poke them in the belly with splashing or crashing sounds. Make your kisses really really loud. Pucker those lips, lean in squeaking, pop that kiss on the cheek, and move back really fast. I think actions that linger like holding the lips in too long or hugging too long seem to intimidate the child. I know that it kinda scared Cady so it was no longer mentally stimulating. This caused her to back off and resist. They will resist no matter what, but when it becomes fun, and a game, well guess what. I think this defines bonding.

(2) The chosen parent needs to take the things that helped the bonding start needs to begin sharing those things. When Cady first started attaching to me, I would grab her foot and kiss it, then I would grab a hand and kiss it, then I would pop a kiss on her cheek. She never even laughed or giggled at this. She just stared at me. Eventually she would lift her foot up really high so that I could kiss it. She would let me give it a kiss, and she would then pull it away really fast, then put a hand to my face and the same. Once we caught on to how to do this, I started sharing games with Karen. I would grab her hand and kiss it, then pull her hand over to Mommy to kiss it. She didn't like that at all, but we would try it a few times, then move on to something else. Later on we would try that game again, and maybe a new game. Cady already liked grabbing my thumbs and making me clap my hands. Karen would push her hands inside of that, and I would help Cady clap my hands really fast so we could catch Mommy's hands inside. This became a game that we all liked.

Even then, it was a very tough day. We had to do all of these things. There were times in which I had to pretend that I was not interested at all. She would come to my leg while sitting in the chair, and she wanted me to pick her up or play. I just pretended not to notice. It was hell, but then again, nobody said this was going to be easy.

This afternoon Karen found her little girl. I want to encourage her to write about it herself, but it was very special to me. I was helping Macy's parents with getting some images uploaded to a separate page so that they could share with their own families, and Karen took advantage of the moment, by playing with Cady in her own way. They played some games that Mommy thought up, and they did the things that girls liked, like playing with ribbons and bows in a fun way. They did very well together. I'm proud of Cady's new Mommy. She had the tougher part, and she worked very hard and overcame it, and I think we are very close to the balance that we wanted.

Another thing that I have learned is that it was 2 steps forward, and 1 step back. Every time this little girl went to sleep, we lost some ground. We had to start some things over, but this time it didn't take an hour of work, it took 15 minutes. Once again right now as I am typing this, I am partially ignoring my daughter so that she can learn that Mommy is right over there shaking her box of animal crackers. This time though, I can look down at her, smile at her, even talk to her. I just can't pick her up yet. You know what? She walked over to Mommy for those crackers. She brought them back over to me, but I am still typing. Don't come to China thinking this is a vacation, you're coming here to work and learn.

This has gotten very lengthy to write, and I do remind you, read this advice with caution. Orphanage or not, these children are every bit as individual as those in the United States. Your milage on this advice will vary.

Oh yeah, you all get a full page with lots of pictures of my little baby in Steelers gear. Look for the link at the top.

Nicole, we thank you for reading this so much. Tell your own daddy that there are other teams in the NFL, and that some of them even win Super Bowls.

We love you all very much and look forward to visiting.

Yang Xiang

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-21T22:38:22-08:00

Karen and I just spent an emotionally exhausting morning at the SWI in Hefei visiting the place where Cady lived her first 16 months. We always felt it, but we now know that she was absolutely loved. Never in my life have I wept so much from happiness and relief than this day. I did get video, and, to be honest, it may be something we decide to share only with Cady. I think that we will share it with you all at some point, as we want to help others to understand this all, but I don't want to promise anything until it all sinks in.

During our gotcha day, we were allowed to ask questions to the Hefei Assistant Director about Cady. We asked if we could visit the orphanage and spend time with her nanny, and we were told that we could. It's important that those people who are not familiar with this to know that this is not always allowed by orphanages for various reasons.

We then asked about Yang Xiang, a boy who's Mommy and Daddy (from the Yahoo Hefei message boards) are working very hard to come to him as quickly as the paperwork allows. We asked if we could take pictures of him for his Mommy and Daddy. We were very relieved to hear a "yes". Right when the Orphanage director saw his picture, she knew him.

Karen and I were very honored to be able to do this for Yang Xiang and his Mommy and Daddy. We both feel that if someone had been able to do this for us to see our Cady, it would help the time a little. He was a little startled when he was presented in front of a whole crowd of people waving cameras and all talking to him at once, so he did cry a bit while we were doing this. We told Yang Xiang and his nanny that his Mommy and Daddy wants to be here now for him, and they are trying very hard to get here as fast as they will be allowed. I have used the word "important" many times in my writings here, and this is no exception.

It is very important that this boy's Mommy and Daddy know that he is being given lots of love. He is being very well taken care of.

I had intended on just getting something written quickly so that I could get these pictures uploaded for his parents, but I wrote a little more than originally intended. Karen and I are really worn out, and Cady is just now waking up. The link to his pictures are at the top with his name.

We have giggles!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-21T05:48:45-08:00

So we have 2 other couples with us, as you have seen. Three children close in age. Each child has her own lovable points, and each has her own little quirks. Usually at this point, the child has a stronger bond with one parent over the other. From what I have read, it is more often the mother that gets this bonus. In the case of Anne Marie and Macy, momma is definitely the one. Now for you fathers out there, you need to understand that first, it's very true when they say that if you find yourself in this situation, you should not worry. With love, and a relentless persuit of that little girl's heart, you will get yours, and there is nothing sweeter.

Anne Marie is the younger of the three at about 11 months. Whenever one of the other 2 cries, she becomes very concerned. watching her, you can tell that she wants so much to help. Her level of empathy is incredible.

Macy is the clown. I see her giggling and laughing so much. She has so much energy and excitement in her little frame that's just bursting. She has so much emotion. The downside to this is that she does have down points, and she cries as hard as she laughs. We all know that she is going to be just fine, but I have heard Cady cry, and when she is very tired and doesn't want to sleep, we have to let her cry until she is asleep. Luckily for Daddy it only takes about a minute or two, but after 30 seconds, Daddy's heart is shattering. Macy's Mommy and Daddy have enough love to overcome, and though I am sure it rips at their hearts, I know they will be just fine.

Cady to me seems the veteran of the three. She always has a very determined look on her face. She does not smile much, she hasn't talked much, but she gives hugs, and even today she insisted that Daddy kiss her. Did you hear that?? She insisted that Daddy kiss her! I know all parents want to believe this, but I think we have a very smart girl on our hands here. She studies everything to every detail. When we gave her the stacking cups, she was able to stack the first three (smallest to second to largest) immediately. She didn't even need us to show her once. She would take 2 cups, hold them up in the air, and study them very hard. She would then put the smaller one into the one just bigger, and then so on. The fourth cup took he about an hour of study to get right, but now she is stacking cups at at least a 3 year old level ;p

Today we signed our official papers, and now by Chinese law, we are a family. Gotcha day is important, but this is the day that we will celebrate with Cady each year.

Just before the meeting for all of this, Cady and I had a long lasting moment. While laying on the bed, she would put a foot out to me to kiss. When I would kiss it, she would put it down, and then give me her hand to kiss. After the hand, we would rotate in a foot, and maybe the other foot. We did this for about an hour. This was the first time we got smiles. Cady's smiles up to and including this point were very faint. We could see them clearly, more of a smirk, but they were definitely there. Near the end of our play, I was seeing a little of her teeth in her smiles.

We had reached a bonding point. She was letting me be her Daddy.

I had to carry her down to the meeting, as she didn't want Mama to do that. I was already worried for Karen, as I want her to be bonded with us both equally. Karen is not worried about this, as she is very happy that Cady and I are getting this chance that neither of us have ever had. A real chance to be Daddy and Daddy's Girl.

Now I remind you that today was the first time we got smiles. Real smiles. At the meeting, something wonderful beyond compare happened. Yeah, we got to sign papers. We got to give away quite a bit of money. We became an official family. But something of the purest beauty happened today, and we got it right on video. We have absolute full mouthed smiles, which would have been enough, but then we got laughter. I've been waiting for the last 12 hours to get this up so everyone could see, but once this little girl decided that I got to be Daddy, well, if I even disappear into the bathroom, she wells up and cries. We're working on a balance.

Anyhow, that's a lot of words, and ironically a thousand more will not be able to convey what happened to us today. We'll let the video do the rest. You WILL want your sound turned on for this.

WOW

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-20T20:42:33-08:00

So much has happened in the past 24 hours. It's as if each hour is worth one full month of her life. Today was Adoption Day, and China gave us legal rights to our daughter (more to come on today's events later, when Scott posts). For our friends that are waiting for their children, no matter the age when you get her, she will be your baby. She is more of a baby than I anticipated, yet she is so unbelievably smart. When we first received Cady, one day ago, she responded almost as a new born, and was completely dependent on our caring for her. We sat her down on the bed, and gave her a few small items, some stacking cups; a singing toy; a small, purple beach ball. And both of us just kneeled on the ground, tending to her. I started brushing her hair with the baby brush and she leaned her head down so I could brush her hair. She knew what the brush was for, and loved every bit of it. We gave her a bath with the purple ball. The ball and her hair brush have become her favorite lovies....I think she bonded with these items at the same time as she bonded with us. Last night she played for hours with the stacking cups. She is very methodical, and deliberate in everything she does. Her referral pictures show this about her more than we actually knew.
Yesterday afternoon, a few hours after Gotcha, we all laid down to take a nap, and the most beautiful thing happened. As she started to fall asleep, she reached one hand over to Scott's face and stroked his cheek, then she reached to my face and did the same. Her leg reached over to the top of my chest, while her other leg fell deliberately onto Scott's. It was almost to the point of doing the splits. It was as if Cady was telling us, "I can't believe you are here". While at the same time, holding us down with her legs to insure that we would not leave if she fell asleep. She did fall asleep within minutes of doing these things, while Scott was whispering to her that we will be with her for now and for always.
The pictures below captured the moment, as I squeezed out from under her to take the shots, soon after she fell asleep.

Pictures!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-20T14:55:52-08:00

So many wonderful things are happening right now. We don't even need to look hard for that "this is proof that this is right" moments. I definitely want to share the things that are happening, and I will, I promise. She really likes us close though, so great for us, maybe not so much for those reading right now. Well, you can guess who wins this one.

But second place winners do get some pictures. See the Gotcha link above.

A little bonding breather

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-20T05:43:33-08:00

One of the other couples, Leigh and Rusty, with their daughter Macy (we never asked them the right spelling for her name). She is the same age as Cady and from the same SWI.

The gotcha moments are on film, but they will take some editing that may not get done til we are at home. For now, please enjoy this.

There is no title to do this justice

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-19T20:47:08-08:00

We're still a little busy (she's such a good girl!) but we have to share with you all.

Our angel.

Will post more after some more loving time.

To our sweet Cady

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-19T13:41:25-08:00

There are times in my life when I feel an importance to do something. Often times I may not even know what it is that I am supposed to do, but I just have that urge to accomplish something. Right now is one of those times in which I feel the urgency to write this.

I need to leave this message right now.

Right now, it's 5:45 in the morning here in in the city of Hefei, in the province of Anhui, in the country of China.

Right now, Cady, you are probably awake, and someone is fussing with you to get you fed, changed, and happy. You have no idea what is about to happen to you, but I promise that it is something wonderful. It may not feel like immediately, but today you are beginning your new life. The life you were meant to have. The life you deserve.

Daddy is really nervous right now as he types this. He knows that he and Mommy will be saving all of these messages for you so that you can have them always, and you can see the joy that we have shared with our friends. He knows that this message is very important. As you grow, we will share these things together. You will get to see all of the wonderful wishes that everyone from all over the world have offered you. At this moment, people all over this world are happy for us for having you, and happy for you for having us. In about 3 hours, we will be together, and that will be forever.

I want you to know that this moment right now is the most important moment of my life. If we do our jobs right, by the time you are reading this, you will already know how I can tell you this even now before we have ever touched, held hands, or held on to each other "oh so tight".

I love you.
-Daddy

4:19 am

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-19T12:19:14-08:00

We are adopting with two other couples, all of us have toddlers. One of the couple's tends to be more like us....they don't adventure out to the street to eat street vendor food, Very sweet couple from N Carolina. His name is Rusty and hers is Leigh. How can someone not like a "Rusty"? The other couple is more venturesome. John and Meg. We walked to the market with John and Meg yesterday, just before dusk. The life here is, although still busy, it's a different kind of busy in Hefei from Shanghai. It's a mix of people, from industrial workers to coal miners families. While our daughter was found outside of a community village gate, Rusty and Leigh's daughter was found a the entrance to a coal mine, and John and Mgt's daughter was found near a factory a bit further out. These are hard working people. Below our hotel window, there are backyards from various houses and apartments. Hefei is much larger than I assumed it would be. When I had heard that Cady was left at the gates of a community village, I immediately thought of dirt roads and "villages" But, there are large apartment complexes, stacked high, with deep alley-ways leading into the narrow street to get to the apartments. Outside of each apartment village, there is an iron gate. My guess is that these are the "community villages". After seeing the condition of these complexes, we do not have much interest in finding her finding-spot. She was only 4 days old, it could be that she was born in that complex, or in one of a hundred others in the vicinity. I don't want her growing up thinking that she could pin point her birth area from that location. And although it might be something of importance to her later, we do know the name of the "Community village" and she will be able to investigate that part more, later in her life if she is interested.

More importantly to us, is to visit the orphanage in a few days, with our daughter. These are the people that have nurtured her, loved her, and watched her grow for the first 16 months and 3 weeks of her life. I want to know the person that cared enough about our daughter to place her in two different dresses to take her referral pictures. And the woman that placed a barrett in her hair at 9 months old, for her first picture, and made sure she had the same barrett in her hair when the two other pictures were taken of her, two months later. I have gifts for these woman (if there were two), bracelets that are linked with sterling hearts. I purchased two of them just in case there are two nannies that have cared for her the most. When we return to the SWI, the ones most happy to see our daughter will be the ones that most likely gave pieces of their own hearts to our Cadence. I also brought Sees Candy truffles for the other nannies to share, and a baseball cap and blue diamond almonds for the director. Words or gifts cannot express the gratitude I have for those that have kept our daughter safe for us from 4 days old, till our day we unite with her forever.

On our way to the hotel, we received several grins from Chinese people on busses or bicycles. Some people looked, then told the person they were with to also look, but it was more that we are a novelty in this place. They realize we are out of place, but it is amusing and interesting to the residents. With all the crowds, I do not feel unwelcome. And I do not feel threatened. One of my first thoughts after the short flight from Shanghai to Hefei, on the bus ride to the hotel , was, when we happen to venture out, is that it's possible her birth parents will pass us? They wouldn't know, as she was only 4 days old when Cady was found. Or perhaps, we will pass another adult that has gone through the process of leaving their child somewhere in the near or distant past. All I can do is look at these people with gratitude and admiration for their courage. I hope that, beyond my obvious pride that I will show when I stroll with Cady on the streets of Hefei, I will also show them the respect and kindness, that, even if I knew how to speak Mandarin, my heart could say to these people with more sincerity.

It's now 5:06 am. We have agreed to go downstairs with the other couples at 7 am for breakfast. We will toast to our daughters, and to us. We will share twinkles in our eyes and nervous laughs. Anxiety will be high, of that I'm sure. Breakfast is served directly across from the main entrance to the hotel. Our daughters will be walked in to the hotel from that entrance, at 9am, and be whisked upstairs to the second level of the hotel. Will we recognize her as she is carried through the front door of the hotel? Will my heart know who she is? What a wonderfully blissful moment I'm feeling.

Hefei

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-19T05:20:56-08:00

Arrived at Shanghai airport 4 hours before flight (the checkin lady said "you know your flight is 4 hours from now?" I told you that I stressed about these things.)
Flight went alright
Cady comes to us at 9:00 am (in about 12 hours fro this posting)
We shopped in a grocery store today (everyone looks at us like we're from Mars)
I uploaded some new pictures (See Hefei Day 1)
Very very tired, and anxious for tomorrow to come.
I promise to get you pictures, but not til after Cady gets 1000 magic kisses (that won't take long)

I can't describe what's in my head right now. I have no words.

Stay tuned.

Ni Hao!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-18T13:53:07-08:00

I find it interesting how I worry about so many things here like catching the flights, getting our luggage through, and all that, but I'm not worried about the fact that sometime on Monday my life is going to change forever. I sit here trying to think of some great inspirational words, but I really don't have anything. I'm really unsure about why that part doesn't cause me any worry. I've read lots of blogs, and I know of the obstacles ahead, but I sit here stressing about flight times and luggage.

As Karen posted, we did go out. My warning to you when in China and on foot is to not stop or slow down. I swear, every time I walked out of the hotel, the same guy asked me if I wanted a Rolex (or likely a Rollex if you know what I mean).

Today we have to get in a taxi by ourselves, and trust that the driver will take us to the airport. Apparently the hotel here has a shuttle to the airport that's 45 minutes away, but not one to the airport just down the road. More stress.

My spirits are still high, and we'll get there.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday morning

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-18T12:41:47-08:00

OK I'm not exactly sure where everyone goes between 1am and 5am but that's the only time there isn't honking on the streets here in Shanghai. I'm actually not really sure where everyone is going during the honking hours either. It's like a bunch of busy ants out doing ....something important.
We did venture out yesterday. On our stroll to a store, I looked down and a lady who appeared from nowhere was suddenly kneeled down and squirting white goo onto my shoe (tennis shoe), from a tube. I looked at her in semi-shock and said, "take that off my shoe". She then proceeded to pull out a wooden foot stand from her jacket and forced my foot onto it. As I put the weight onto my other foot, she started shining my tennis shoe. Every time I said "no" she pulled my foot back onto the her wooden foot stand and squeezed more goo onto the shoe, then rubbed it off more. Finally, Scott and I had to say NO several times and walk away. She tugged on my sleeve, got in front of us, tugged on Scott's sleeve and all the while insisting on 2 Yuen.....2 Yuen!!! Apparently, she expected me to pay her for accosting me. Eventually she left but not before she started yelling out something, of which my interpretation was, "Those Americans insisted that I work for FREE!!" I probably would have paid her , 1. if I had anything less than 10 yuan on me at the time, and 2. If I would have actually insisted that she shines one tennis shoe as she had obviously claimed to the crowd.
We did make friends with the doorman though. In his proudest English he told me that Clinton had stayed at the Peace Hotel when he was president. At first I wasn't sure what he was saying. We had told him that we're from California, and he said, "Ahhhh.....Cweee-town ! " Now, that isn't all that much by itself, but in Santa Rosa, California, where I lived for most of my years, there's a shopping mall called Codding-Town. So, as he continued to say Cwee-town, I was more astounded that he knew I lived in a town that has a shopping mall named Codding-Town, than trying to make anything else out of what he was saying to me. Finally, he said ....Washington DC. Then it dawned on me that he is not a psychic, that knew I had ventured out to Codding-Town by the mere mention of California, but that instead he was saying Clinton.
(The pictures we've taken from our hotel and from the streets, are linked above and labeled "Shanghai").

Quite honestly, I know that we have butchered the pronunciation of our daughter's Province and city. We have been saying that she's in Hefei, in the Anhui Province. Now writing this makes me seem very educated to some, but the entire time, Ive been pronouncing it as if I were saying Hee-Fee, in the An-Huey Province. We spoke to an elderly couple at the airport, and when we pronounced it He-Fe, in the An Huey Province they gave us some blank stares. I wonder if for a moment they thought we were talking about a shopping mall somewhere too. We found out the true pronunciation is like saying (Cafe-but substitute H for C) in the (Anh-Way) Province.
We've been studying small sentences in Mandarin.... I love you, don't cry, I am your mama, I am your daddy......But, now that I've learned that I've not even pronounced her home province correctly until now, I'm concerned that if I try to comfort Cady in her native tongue she will wonder why I'm telling her something crazy. Perhaps the best language is the unspoken language. A smile, a hug, a kiss, a gentle touch on the cheek.....and I think the heart says more than any tongue can convey.
We leave today for Hefei, and on the flight over, we should meet up with the other two couples, perhaps go out to dinner with our guide.....Then tomorrow morning we meet our daughter.

We're alive

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-17T16:08:10-08:00

OK, just as the title suggests...we are alive. I think I need a t-shirt that reads, "I survived the flight to Shanghai". From everything that Scott posted, imagine having to hear him talk about it in real time....in an hourly basis. I had no trouble sleeping on the long flight from San Fran to Shanghai, but then I took sleeping pills that the doctor prescribed, and Scott didn't. I did encounter swollen ankles beyond belief though. The seats were very compact, and it didn't help much that we brought two carry-on's each, so one of my carry-ons was under my seat, and the seat in front of me was continually leaning back, almost in my lap. But the end result is worth the small inconveniences. Scott already has a very paternal attitude. This is a man that doesn't really like to venture out too often, beyond known territory. Yet, if he were facing dragons, he would have faught them, just to get that much closer to his daughter.
We arrived to Shanghai 19 hours after we left our house, due to the two flight delays that Scott spoke of, then it was another 45 minute drive to the hotel...yet another adventure. The hotel had a driver pick us up at the airport, and he drove back as if he owned the road. It was probably 80 mph the entire way to the hotel, with honks, swerves and barely stops. It's definitely aggressive driving in China. I think the road rules are made by the men, as a result of no woman drivers that I could see. Now I understand why elderly Chinese women drive so cautiously in the states, they are probably used to being the passengers back home, in China. We passed a restaurant on the way to the hotel. The restaurant had large windows with aquariums built in to them, so you could choose your meal before you go in, I suppose that could be comparable to having a menu taped to the entrance door. Dinner is definitely freshly cooked in China.
I'm going to try to convince Scott to venture out today, but I understand his apprehension. Our guide is going to meet us tomorrow in HeFei, so for today, we are on our own. We don't know the language and we don't really know our way around. We know that the two other couples are to be in this same hotel today, but we have no way to meet up with them until the flight in to HeFei tomorrow. Our adoption agency was great in telling us where we must all stay, but was not so great in telling us much else about how to meet up with the other two couples while in the hotel in Shanghai, and although we ended up with their email addresses, we didn't get that info until a couple of weeks ago, so it was the last thing on our minds to remember to contact them. On a positive note, Scott is having Coca~cola withdrawls, so he has agreed to venture out to the point of finding a store that has coke. Hopefully we will take at least 2 or 3 pictures of Shanghai before the night is done.

Shanghai!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-17T15:41:03-08:00

Do you remember when I made a list of all of the things that cause me stress about this whole trip?

Things got interesting right from the start. I will say, the airport shuttle was on time. We sure had a good start anyhow. From there it just went down.

It all started with this.

Now, we were scheduled for 2 hours over in San Fran, so there was a little cushion. Even as we were checking in with the airline, they began warning us of possible delays in our flight. Now, if a delay causes you to miss a connecting flight within the country, the inconvenience is generally 4-8 hours of waiting for the next flight. United only goes to Shanghai out of San Francisco once per day. That means if we miss our flight, we would be stuck in San Fran overnight.

I am normally a fairly non-confrontational person. I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, and that there are other people that need to get places too. Yesterday I was a papa bear being kept away from my baby. We were boarding our plane at about 12:00, and, as everyone was already in a hurry (they had connecting flights they had to now rush to as well) we were all boarded and ready to go by 10 after the hour. This is good right? We can now get this plane off the ground so that we actually have a chance to make our connecting. Well, it seems that all flights were being delayed, so there was this mad rush to fill our own plane with people who were now trying to bump up their own flight into ours. This takes time. This takes time that we could be used.. you know.. getting in the air with at least a hope of making our own flights. I spoke up. I spoke up a lot.

Anyhow, we made it into San Fran with about an hour before the flight, so we rushed to the next terminal (yes it was another terminal) and made it with about 20 minutes to spare before boarding.

Well guess what. Yah, the flight from San Fran to Shanghai was delayed by an hour.

If someone on the plane in Sacramento could have just told me that, I wouldn't have had to worry.

But they didn't tell me.
I asked, but they could only give me the "We don't know."
So I did stress.

I won't bore you with the details, but just a few observations from a 13 hour flight.

I learned that I can't sleep on a plane. I sure did want to, and I did try, but I can't sleep sitting upright, or whatever angle they allow.

I can manage to jam other body parts under my butt to help relieve the numbing feeling. I learned this while on the plane. It takes a special kind of limb management, as tucking my foot under my thigh generally causes that limb to then fall asleep. At that point I can then go on to another limb in place. Rinse and repeat. Impressed? I sure was.

I learned that a flight that takes 13 hours but, due to time changes, encompasses a 28 hour difference feels like a 28 hour flight. I think at some points I literally felt that I was losing some of my sanity.

Anyhow, though you will see the posting times in local California time (I'm keeping the PowerBook on Cali time so I know when I can bother friends.) It's a vastly different time here. Right now it is 8am on Saturday. We may not venture far from the hotel today, because we have no contacts in Shanghai. If something goes wrong, we're completely on our own. We will be venturesome in Hefei and Guangzhou, but not here. I'll get some pictures from around the hotel area though, as I am told there is a place on the roof that looks over a nice piece of the city.

Be well everyone. less than 48 hours until the Cady Chase becomes a Cady Capture.

Karen made Scott name this posting

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-16T05:52:11-08:00

So, here it is 5:30 am, that’s not really early for us, because we are usually up at this time anyway. We left the packing of our own items till this morning because we were just exhausted last night.   In around 4 hours we’ll have a shuttle pick us up at our home (pretty nice, eh?). Then, we will travel to the Sacramento airport, and about 35 minutes after take off, we will land at San Francisco Intl airport, and sit for around 2 hours. We figured it was easier than driving for 2 hours into San Francisco and fighting the traffic, which can be BRUTAL in San Francisco. After we’re in the air from San Francisco, we touch down in Shanghai, (app. 21 hours from right now).

For anyone reading this blog, that is still waiting for a referral, I do not envy you, but know that it will come. All the waiting and anticipation makes the end desire to have your baby in your arms that much sweeter. And I can tell you now, that just as I have been informed, as soon as your day comes, all the pain of waiting two or three or four months longer than a pregnancy would take, seems to fade away.

To all our family and friends, thank you for the emails and encouragement and questions asking “When are you getting that baby?”. You have all been so supportive, and embraced this time in our lives with open arms and open hearts.   Mom, thank you for letting me ramble..(I hope you can view the blog now), Dad & Deanie, thank you for sharing your experiences with us…and thank you for your emotional support. We wish you could have gone with us, but when it’s all said and done, this must be a trip we are destined to experience between Scott and I, as a family, with our daughter.

“Auntie” Cherie…Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you sooo much. You have been more excited for us than we have been. You tickle me with your delight. You make me proud that I have you as a friend.

“Auntie” Kris and “Uncle” Paul…I can’t say enough about how supportive you have been, and thanks for taking the dogs and our funky cat for 2 weeks.

To our friends at work….too many to name at this time. Both Scott and I are blessed with such warm people in our lives. Believe it or not, you have made this journey an enjoyable one. Sometimes the wait was unbearable, and the support I’ve gotten at work, and the love that people have shown is overwhelming.   Scott has received the same from his friends at work. And we have each come home and told each other about our experiences at work, as they have unfolded. Silly things from Keith walking by my desk and saying under his breath, “Yer gonna be a mommy….”, to Shirley giving us the computer game for Cadence and helping to inform others of the process, to Clara wanting to baby-sit..(ok, have our kids play together), to Beth asking “When are you going? Are you excited? When are you going?” and thinking of my so sweetly on my last day at work, with the cute bear she gave me that says MOM on it.   I keep thinking of more, but if I name them all, I would be late for the shuttle. But all of you have been so supportive. Thank you.

And to our online friends…What a wonderful connection we have made. Thank you for all of your support when things seemed like nothing was going to happen for months on end.

OK, I have to get going, or I won’t have everything packed.
Love to all,
Next online stop….Shanghai, China.

It's almost time to go.

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-15T21:00:54-08:00

Well, I made it through the workday, and the pets are snug and happy with the petsitters. I'm worn out and anxious at the same time. I suspect that I will have no trouble falling asleep tonight, but I think that the moment I wake up, I will definitely be up.

The electronics are nestled, all snug in their cases
with visions of snapshots and clips of cute faces..

Yeah, I'm a hack. I already know that.

By request, I have tried enabling the RSS for the site. Sadly, the software tells you how to do everything but that, so I have no idea if it will work. If not, sorry, but time has run out. I can try to tinker when time permits, but well.. you know.. I have this whole adoption thing to take care of ;p

I'm gonna be a impossible to deal with until we actually land in Shanghai. I stress over getting to the airport on time, I stress over the luggage, I stress over what we will and will not be allowed to actually take with us (will they say "You can't bring that on the plane."?) I'll stress about being stuck on a plane for 10+ hours. I'll stress about whether we will land in time for our next flight, and, if I am very very lucky, I will stress about whether I snored too loudly or drooled too much while sleeping through the ENTIRE flight. I have no issues at all about flying, just everything before and after.

Pity Karen. Please keep her in your thoughts. She will need all of the support you can offer.

Have no doubts, we will be updating often, and Karen will be posting a lot more once we get there. She may even offer a message before we head for the airport in the morning.

As always, we thank you for reading.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-14T18:46:12-08:00

Ok so I moved the site again. I'm really sorry for those of you who bookmarked the last one only to now be asked to bookmark a new one. I needed to get this over to solve some issues that iWeb wasn't able to do for me.

So we got a wonderful present from Kris and Paul, our bestest friends around here. They have offered us so much support for our whole journey, and we love them dearly. They bought this Pooh bear for Cady, and I was playing with him all day at work yesterday.

So we leave in 2 days. I have no idea how I'm going to get through another workday..

Wooooooooo!

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-11T22:44:57-08:00

So I hear the doorbell ring today, and a nice little envelope is sitting at the door. Normally when I get a package with Karen’s name on it, I set it on her desk so that she can open it. Usually it’s more clothing for Cady. Now, I like knowing that she’s going to have clothing and all that, but there are really only so many floral patterns, pinks, bunnies, and lace that I can look at before it all just blends.

This time it was different.

This time the return address was from Blawnox Pennsylvania, which is virtually a touchdown pass from Pittsburgh. At that point, I had to open it. Usually when I get the call from Karen on her way home from work, I’ll let her know that something arrived for her, and at some point she will ask me why I didn’t open it.

Now that sure does feel like permission to me.

So I opened it up, and sure enough, it was for me!

Well not directly for me. The Jerome Bettis Super Bowl jersey I already had. I just had to bring it into the picture because it was the perfect match. Within the package was the cheerleader outfit. It’s a 2T, and I am a terrible judge of how sizes work and how kids grow, but I hope it will fit in September. If not, then no big deal. You see, Daddy knows that this outfit comes in 2T, 14, and 16. Now Daddy does not know how the 14 and 16 vary from the sizes with the T specifically, but he has some skill in logic, and knows that those latter 2 numbers are bigger. Now, of course, both the jersey and Cady’s outfit are both going to China. Don’t worry, you’ll see pictures of my little cheerleader as soon as she will be comfortable trying it on.

Yeah, you could say I was a fan.

I spent some time today with a little yard work, getting the lawn mowed, clearing some brush around the house, and gathering up some of the electronics needed for the trip so that I can get them all packed in nicely. Karen has already done the majority of the hard things on her side, packing up the needed medicine, clothing, and assorted baby gear needed for the trip. All I have to do is squeeze a lot of expensive things all into carry-on capable bags without risking damage to anything.

We’re doing alright in getting ready for this, and I only wonder if I am now at the highest level of anxiety that I can/will reach, or if there is an even higher level that I’m unable to even conceive of yet.

I do have a favor to ask from any/all of you reading. The next few days will be the last opportunity I get to tweak the site to be certain that everyone can follow along. Please leave a comment below with your thoughts. Is the site too hard to navigate? Too slow to load? (I know this last one is true often enough) Does the comments section load well enough? Please please feel free to email me by clicking here if you are having issues with the comments. Does it make sense on how to add a comment? Have I not been welcoming enough for people to leave comments? (A big thanks to those who have so far) Are there any recommendations you could make to allow me to get this site working better for you?

We are ever grateful to everyone who checks the blog. We’re thrilled that we get to share this with so many wonderful people. Thank you all.

Gonna be holding my baby girl soon.

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-08T01:50:31-08:00

I can’t sleep…Yeah, I know. It’s 1:45 am. My eyes hurt. I have a headache, and I have to be up to go to work again at 6:00am. But, I CAN’T SLEEP! It’s only 9 days before we leave for China. And only 11 days before we’re holding Cady. I lay down and try to sleep…but my mind races. So, here I am, writing for the blog. We made our final reservations today, for our flights in to and out of China.
I have no idea how I’m going to get through these next few days….
And now, without further adieu;
Here it is...confirmation of our final itinerary:
 March 16 @ 11:30 am- Leave Sacramento

 March 17 - @ 7:30 pm- Arrive in Shanghai
 (China time is 16 hours ahead of California, but it is a 15 hour trip, so we will arrive in Shanghai @ 2:30 am March 17, California time and 4:30 am March 17, South Dakota time )

 March 19 - @ 2:45 pm arrive in Hefei, where Cadence lives now
 (March 18 @ 10:45 pm California time)

 March 20 @ 9:00 am GOTCHA DAY!
 (March 19 @ 5:00 pm California time)

 March 24 arrive in Guangzhou (Where the US Consulate is)

 March 29 @ 9:30 am - Leave Gaunzhou to come back home
 (March 28 @ 5:30 pm california time)

 Arrival back home, to Sacramento Airport on March 29, 12 noon (California time)

We Have Our CA

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-06T20:55:58-08:00

We’ve been stressing about getting the two final things that we’ve needed in order to go to China.

TA and CA.

TA is Travel Approval. Essentially, because China is a closed country, we needed approval from the Chinese government to travel into China. After TA was received from China on Friday, then our adoption agency had to contact the US Consulate for a CA (Consulate Appointment). The US Consulate in China is where we will be legalizing the adoption before returning home, and we needed to confirm an appointment with the US Consulate, and then all the dates become centered around that appointment.

So, Friday we received TA from China, and today we received CA from the US Consulate. It’s not as soon as we were told that we’d be traveling, but at least it’s a confirmed plan. What that really means for us, is that we will be leaving California on March 17th, and receiving Cadence on March 20th (Monday)…. Keep in mind that the 20th in China is actually the 19th in the USA, so essentially, that means by the time it’s 9pm on Sunday ,March 19th here in California, we’ll have Cadence in our arms. We will then be legally adopting her on March 27th at the US Consulate in China, and returning home on March 29th.

On a side note; I have a wonderful husband. He’s been the person to keep me calm when I was at my wits end with all the paper work, for several months. And now he tells me often that he wants his baby girl. I knew it would be wonderful to share parenthood with him, but I had no idea how much he would truly want to be her daddy.

We have a few things we need to do before we travel. We need to call the credit card company to inform them that we will be in China, we need to get a kiddy gate for our master bathroom, and we need to get a few last minute items…oh yeah, and I think we will be shopping for car seats this weekend. Other than that, the upside to preparing to travel this Friday is that we really have nothing more to do but wait for the next week to come and go.

We are definitely ready for the Cady chase.

~I’ma leavin’, on a jet plane~

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-06T18:10:11-08:00

Ok so we’ll start with something not adoption related.

The Simpsons. It’s worth the click.

So today we finally got our Consulate Appointment, which means we can now fly to China. This is the good news. The bad news is that it is a week later than we were originally planning. We will be leaving for China on March 17th. I’m happy that we finally have the date, but I wasn’t sure how I was even going to get through this week let alone next week now too. Perhaps this is payback for my comments on Saturday about not wanting to go.

Ok I get it! I want to go to China! I really really want to go to China! Can we please change it back now so I can go on the 10th!?

Anyhow, as I am guessing that’s not going to happen, we’re setting ourselves in for a longer wait. Karen is busy now trying to re-plan the new flights, and I’m so very umm.. busy.. uhh.. writing in this blog.
 I found this funny thing more than a year ago on the web, and have kept it on my computer just sitting in a dusty folder. I converted it over from a multi-page pdf into images to put up here so there will be some scrolling involved. As we’re planning our flights now, it just seems appropriate.

So there you have it. I hope it’s readable. If not, feel free to leave a comment (click the thing at the bottom that says “Comment” or “Comments” and you can leave us a note) to let us know your thoughts. We like getting comments. Did I mention that we like getting comments?

Thanks again for your time.

TA But No CA?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-03-04T19:54:44-08:00

So apparently on Friday we received our TA (Travel Approval from China) for the 10th, but have yet to receive our CA (Consulate Appointment for the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou) so during this moment when we should be excited and thrilled, we’re just left with the same uncertainty we had on Thursday. Apparently Karen was left with the feeling that even with this approval, we may not get the Consulate Appointment with such short notice.

And now, dear readers, prepare for the all encompassing negativity.

I don’t want to go to China.

Nine flights in 12 days. Nine points at which I have to worry about luggage misroutes, five of which will be in places in which I may be unable to communicate with the staff.

Don’t drink the water. Don’t even use the ice. Who knows what else is gonna make me sick even if I am careful of the water. Not only do I dislike the food, my stomach can’t even handle most of it.

In a strange place where most people speak a language I don’t even know. Mind you, from what I have seen in videos from others, the residents will still try repeatedly to talk with me.

I know that these things seem minor to most people, but you have to understand that I am a creature of comfort. I’m not the adventurous type at all. Additionally, as previously mentioned, I am a linear thinker. I crave an order to all things. Much of the things listed above are very very not linear.

I ask you, who will be more stressed, myself, or my little girl?

I would climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea..

I know people say this, but how many people truly have this tested? Yeah I know that what I am about to go through is nothing compared to that, but it will be stressful, and I don’t want to have to endure this. I wouldn’t for any other reason.

But I will.

I will because I would do anything for my little baby. I will do this without second consideration. I will put myself into the fire because from the moment that we started this journey, I knew in my heart that nothing would stop me from getting our little girl home. I never thought that it would be tested, but here it is. I’m guided by my will to get to her. This allows me to do things that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to. Every moment I spend waiting for travel gives me more desire and strength to get to her.

I don’t have anything against China. I am fascinated by the history and the present of that country. I have the greatest appreciation of their culture, and I know the importance of being there to understand these things before we bring Cady home. I have every intention and desire to bring all of that culture into the raising of our little girl.

But if it were possible to have her brought to us, I would happily write the check.

Maybe I’m just getting worn out. It’s been a long journey, filled with an incredible amount of anxiety. I spend most of my idle time now sitting and envisioning what our normal routine will be like with her here. I have those three pictures of her etched in my memory, and I miss her dearly every day.

Such a sap am I, but even that I endure.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for my next exciting breakdown.

Snow in Cali?

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-28T20:21:44-08:00

So today we had an interesting situation. Around 11 AM, we had hail. Small hail, but in large quantities. I drove home for lunch (because I can) and though the sun had come back out, the hail was still all over the ground. It’s far from what the weather was like in South Dakota, but it definitely brought back some memories.

So I revamped the front page of the site with a little color, and hopefully it is still easy enough to navigate.

I thought I would share this with everyone since we’re in a slower period waiting for our Travel Approval (TA). Karen and I saved the voice recordings for the period when we received the first word about our referral. We asked our agency to leave us a message on our answering machine when our referral was in. We had hoped it would have shown all of the excitement as we pictured, but it was a little disheartening that it lacked the real punch. Message 1 is that call. Karen then called me and left a message on my cell so that I knew what was happening. The last message was my reply to her. We listen to it now, and I think you will get an idea of the level of nervousness we were feeling as we left these messages. Enjoy.

call01 call02 call03

Pack a Sandwich to Save a Fish

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-25T23:48:31-08:00

We’ve been so busy packing and repacking and shopping. The most difficult part of packing, is that Cadence is 16 months old. That puts her in the “in between” stage between baby and toddler. Therefore, I find it necessary to pack bottles and tippy cups….18mo and 2t….diapers and underwear… ok so you get the idea. WAY too many things to pack, not to mention any and all meds just in case she’s sick when we get her. I can’t pack any shoes for her because we have no idea what size shoes to get. But it’s all fun and exciting anyway. We can only have 44 lbs each, for check in luggage, but we can each have a shoulder bag and a carry-on, with no weight limits. One of the carry-ons will have snacks, and a tube of peanut butter and a tube of jam, and even some bread, because Scott already isn’t too fond of American-Chinese food….So, he will have a difficult time filling his belly with REAL Chinese food. And I suppose, when the menu includes whole, boiled fish with the head still in tact, or shark fin soup, or meals so fresh that you pick the critter out of the tank for the chef to cook, I can’t blame him for wanting a few comforts from home, like a PB & J once or twice.

Feeling the Love

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-25T15:17:11-08:00

A while back, I had the ambition to make a quilt for Cadence out of material that our friends would give us. It never happened. I got busy, one thing lead to another, and I didn't go out and buy a sewing machine, as had been the original intent. Too many other things needed to be bought, and too many other things needed to be done, to bring our baby home.
My mom had sent several swatches to me, and I spoke with a friend at work about her sewing skills. She offered to put together a little something for me, out of the material swatches my mom had sent. I was expecting something very simple.
Today she presented me with this beautiful blanket. It was such a wonderful feeling to know that Ramona had done this, and done it so well. It's very apparent that a lot of attention went into detail. The swatches were of no particular color scheme, and Ramona put them into a pattern that makes them just fit together so well. The back is a very soft material with tiny heart shaped flowers on it, the same tone of green as many of the patches.
Throughout this journey, I think one of the most fulfilling aspect so far, has been the warm, heartfelt acceptance from others. I've received emails from people wishing us the best, and been touched by the stories of others that I would have never even known existed, if we were not also adopting. I've become friends with Renita...the phone agent helping me with our school loans, now also following our journey. I've conversed via email with Ann, an aunt of another person adopting from China. I've received many comments from my friend, Happy, that responded to our blog in the early months, as a random act of finding our blog...He's been cheering us on the entire time, continually making me smile or laugh. And the friendships I've gained from other adoptive parents, and the wonderful support from my friends on MSN Adopting from China all of you have been my backbone through this wait. I've gained so much, and appreciated the sincere kindness, generosity, and positive wishes from friends and family on our journey to Cady. My mom is overjoyed that she will soon have her new grandbaby home. As we go to China, I knew we would be taking with us our friends and family. That was the original purpose of this journal, to be able to share our experiences with our close friends and family, as they happened. But as the months have progressed, I've realized that we are taking many more friends with us to China, friends that we've met along the way.

2 Weekends Left

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-25T08:45:31-08:00

We have been told that our tentative travel date is March 10. Based on this timeframe, we have 2 weekends remaining until we leave. I think this weekend will involve completing the organization in Cady’s bedroom, a trip to PetSmart to get the dogs shampooed and beautified, then maybe some general housecleaning. Tomorrow we will probably have to go get the gifts we need to have for all of the people involved in China If any of you, our valuable readers, can offer suggestions on what we should buy for these people, please please add a comment to let us know. Seems like a light weekend. Maybe it’s not so bad, but it sure feels stressful. I think I’m starting to lose it a bit.

I handle stress easily enough, but I do not handle chaos very well at all. Boy, what am I getting myself into, eh? Karen is doing most of the paperwork for this adoption, because it gives her the security of knowing what has been done, and what needs to be done, and she does things in a very chaotic manner. Last weekend we needed to organize all of the paperwork (4 copies of this, the original of this, 1 copy and 1 original of that) and Karen was stressing hardcore on all of this, and was feeling very overwhelmed. Now, I am a very linear thinker. When I have a project, I need to formulate an order to events, then complete each thing in that exact order. This is not a fitting process for handling the adoption paperwork, though it does help at some points.

“No, no, I do not want that document yet, Karen. That one is later on the list. I will make those copies when the list tells me to.”

I sometimes miss my gaming time. I’ve played World of Warcraft a lot since it was released, but the past few weeks I have barely even launched the application. I mention this because today while getting ready to start the day, we saw one of those “Talk to your child about marijuana” commercials, and Karen asked me how we will talk to Cady about that. I replied with

“Well we can’t really figure that out until we know how she will feel about things. By the time she is level 14, we will know more..”

What?? Level 14?? I didn’t even get to finish the sentence because Karen just kept grinning at this error.

It’s also another testament to how being a blogger changes daily communications. From the point that I made this error, Karen just kept saying “That needs to be in the blog.”

I found myself with a little bit of jealousy this past week. I posted earlier about a program called Comic Life that allows you to use your pictures in a comic book format. One of our friends liked the program and created Hui-Hui & Stinky Mouse. It’s a really fun story that they created. Being an adoptive parent to an overseas child can be very different than being a parent to a birth child (I hate using the terms, but lack any other descriptive words) so though I will live by many parental examples, but I do hope that Scott and Tina will continue to blog, as I feel that I can learn so much from their experiences. My jealousy only came from the fact that they get pictures to play with. They get to hug and hold their child. They get to do all of this now. I still have to wait.

Lastly, does anyone else think this is just wrong??

I'm Really a Daddy

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-20T13:04:38-08:00

So yesterday was a big day for me. We got the crib home (thanks Kirk), and I did the assembly. Part way through this, I had one of those moments. The kind of moment that made me sit back and ponder..

I’m a daddy.

I’ve referred to being a daddy often, and I talk about being a daddy with co-workers all the time, but in this instance, I really felt like a daddy.

It felt really nice, and Karen got a (seemingly) random hug from the new daddy.

So It Begins

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-19T12:19:04-08:00

We started out the Saturday as almost every weekend begins, waking up late (when you are used to getting up at 5 AM, 7:30 is late), making some coffee, then browsing the web for a little while to wake up. I love reading a lot of the other blogs of parents who are on their own journeys with children in or from China.

As tomorrow will be spent picking up the crib, high chair, and car seats, today will be spent on the everyday tasks. Karen is now doing some shopping while I create this new blog. I understand that my job sounds more like fun, and likely Karen thinks exactly that, it’s not all that much fun. If I don’t get it right on the first attempt, I’ll have to do it later when Karen tells me how it’s supposed to look.

Later on today I’ll have to clean the house a bit, and probably disassemble the old guest bed that we have, to get it ready to be given away.

The Long Days of Planning

andersenscott@mac.com — 2006-02-18T09:44:54-08:00

So today we open a new chapter in our adoption journey, the planning stages for actually getting to China to pick up our little girl.

On Thursday the 16th, we were given our “tentative” date for our trip. As it stands right now, we will be boarding a plane on March 10th bound for Shanghai China.

Wow, what a difference a day makes. Last week, we knew it was going to happen, and we knew that it would be happening fairly soon, but we were fairly relaxed, only really stressing on the fact that we were going to have to take time off from work (vacation time that we would prefer to save for after we have Cady) and drive a couple of hours away to get our travel information. We did know that people sometimes get their travel date during this meeting, but we had figured that was more of an exception to the “norm” rather than a likelihood.

So now our first weekend is here in the 3 weeks that we have left until we board the plane. We had some things planned, but this is now the rush period, in which we have to complete those things that we had held off on until we had this date in hand.

It’s been said that the site of the previous blog, Once Upon a Cadence, will be difficult (though not impossible) to use while in China, so it just seemed easier to make the transition now to a new system that should give us no problems while there.