IIt's now 9 pm China time, and we have so much to pack. We went to the US Consulate today, for our swearing in ceremony. There wasn't too much ceremony to it. Basically, the woman at the front said to raise our right hands and then she asked, "Do you swear everything you have told us in your paperwork is true and accurate?" All hundred (plus) families said, "I do". She then said, "You are now free to go home". The two other families we have traveled with went to dinner with us for a last get-together in China, and we said our good-bye's. We are now in our hotel room trying to figure out how to pack everything. We leave our hotel tomorrow morning (Wednesday) at 6 am, China time, and we will arrive home, at the Sacramento Airport at 12 noon, California time. What a wonderful journey this has been so far. It's as if we have been a family since the birth of our daughter. She is ready to meet her relatives and the friends that we love back home. We hope to very soon take a trip to South Dakota to visit all of her cousins and grandma and uncles and aunties. And another trip very soon, as well, to Seattle to visit Grandma and Grandpa. There are so many exciting times waiting for Cady and for us as her parents. But don't think for one minute that Cady has been caught. We are still chasing her.
Love to all,
Karen, Scott and Cadence.
Next stop......Home. Here's to the softer bed waiting for us back home.
So, of course we all met downstairs at 7am to have breakfast, knowing (assuming, anyway) that they wouldn't bring the babies in through the front door, we assuned they would find a back door and whisk them upstairs to the second floor for us at 9am. While we ate breakfast, we met two couples that were visiting with their 10 year old daughters, Becky and Caitlan, who were adopted in China (I think on the same day, together) as babies. They were all so happy for us to be having Gotcha Day that morning.
(Becky and Caitlin in the Novotel Hotel, in Hefei, the morning of our Gotcha Day)
We then went upstairs to the second floor around 8:30 am to wait for the babies. at 8:45 am our guide came upstairs and said that the babies were waiting for us downstairs in a conference room. DOWNSTAIRS? What?? Our guide cheated!!! He obviously told us upstairs so that we would not be downstairs when they came in. It was a wonderful cheat though.
The day after arriving in Guangzhou, we were having breakfast at the White Swan Hotel, and we saw the same two couples with their daughters. We showed them our new daughters, and one of the mothers said that the morning of our Gotcha Day, when we met them in Hefei, as they were getting into the taxi to go to the airport to Guangzhou, they saw a car drive up with two babies that could walk, and another that could not. (Cady and macy are walking as they are 16 and 17 months old, Anne Marie is not walking yet because she is only 11 months old. She said to her husband that she knew they were our babies and she had to get out and watch them come into the hotel. Amazingly, she was so excited about our Gotcha Day that she rushed out of the taxi and took picutres of Cady and Macy walking in to the hotel with caretakers, and of Anne Marie being carried in. She had no idea she would see us again, but it was that much of a wonderful memory for her own Gotcha experience that she wanted pictures. After speaking to them again in Guangzhou, we got their email addresses and they will be sending us the pictures that she took. What a wonderful experience to tell Cady.
(Caitlin and Cady in Guangzhou) (Becky and Cady in Guangzhou)
It was so exciting to see those families again in Guangzhou and also to know that one of the mothers actually got pictures of our babies walking into the hotel. It was a piece of our Gotcha that I can experience all over again, from a new angle.
I also would like to post a bit about our visit to the orphanage. I was so pleased to see how clean the orphanage is and truly loving the nannies are. Cady's nanny has been with her since she was 4 days old and brought to the orphanage. Oddly, her nanny's name is JiaRong, and Cady's Chinese name is QingRong.
We have a lot of video of her nanny (above) with Cady.
I think more goes on in that matching process than what anyone really knows, including the person that makes the decision. My biggest thing that I prayed for during our wait time was that Cady would be loved before us. I desired strongly to have a good picture of her and her nanny together, so that I could tell her she was loved without hesitation. What we received from the orphanage was incredible. When we went to the SWI, nannies came running out to greet Qing Rong....When we got to her floor of the SWI, my heart was heavy suddenly...and out stepped her nanny. She ran to Qing Rong, and kneeled down by her stroller. A HUGE tear came out of her nanny's eye and onto Cady's shirt. After she picked up Cady, and hugged her, she put her through the window of the play room, and then I hugged her nanny...She fell apart and wept in my arms, but she was happy that Cady was going to a good home, probably as happy as I was that Cady had been loved for almost 17 months. the things that are done in Cady's world, are done with her permission and her asking. We are sure that her nanny treated her as if she were her own child, allowing her to eat when she was hungry, not just shove food in her mouth for her. Cady has specific wants and dislikes, and she is very much in control of her world. She has also been read to often. When she saw a book that I brought with us, her eyes lit up and she immediately started turning pages and reading (babbling) right to left (as Chinese books are written) . We spent some time with her nanny, and recorded her telling Cady what she wishes for her future. We had asked her to do so. When we left the SWI, we were presented with a journal that her own nanny had updated monthly, sometimes weekly, with a picture to accommodate each update from the time she was found at 4 days old, till 3 days before we got our Cady. She also included hand prints and foot prints in red, every 3 months on some of the pages. The last page of the journal has a picture drawn in colored pencils, with trees, a Chinese bridge in the middle of the picture, and a house to the side of the picture. Below, there is a written paragraph...perhaps a poem, or just wishes for our Cady's life. She signed and dated it.
This is so much more than what I prayed for, so long. My biggest prayers were that she is safe, and feels loved while in the orphanage. She was obviously both. I got to thank the beautiful nanny that loved her for so long. JiaRong was the woman that put the barrette in my daughter's hair when she was 9 months old and took the picture for her passport photo, which we received with the referral pictures. JiaRong was the woman that put the barrettes in my daughters hair for the referral pictures, when she was 12 months old. And JiaRong was the same woman that put the (very) large barrettes in my daughters hair for Gotcha Day, as evidenced below. It was important to her nanny, JiaRong, that Cady's parents know with those subtleties that she is loved. And Cady's parents do know.....and now JiaRong knows that we know.
More later, now we must pack to go to Guangzhou where we will stay for the remainder of our trip, (around 5 more days)
Yesterday afternoon, a few hours after Gotcha, we all laid down to take a nap, and the most beautiful thing happened. As she started to fall asleep, she reached one hand over to Scott's face and stroked his cheek, then she reached to my face and did the same. Her leg reached over to the top of my chest, while her other leg fell deliberately onto Scott's. It was almost to the point of doing the splits. It was as if Cady was telling us, "I can't believe you are here". While at the same time, holding us down with her legs to insure that we would not leave if she fell asleep. She did fall asleep within minutes of doing these things, while Scott was whispering to her that we will be with her for now and for always.
The pictures below captured the moment, as I squeezed out from under her to take the shots, soon after she fell asleep.
More importantly to us, is to visit the orphanage in a few days, with our daughter. These are the people that have nurtured her, loved her, and watched her grow for the first 16 months and 3 weeks of her life. I want to know the person that cared enough about our daughter to place her in two different dresses to take her referral pictures. And the woman that placed a barrett in her hair at 9 months old, for her first picture, and made sure she had the same barrett in her hair when the two other pictures were taken of her, two months later. I have gifts for these woman (if there were two), bracelets that are linked with sterling hearts. I purchased two of them just in case there are two nannies that have cared for her the most. When we return to the SWI, the ones most happy to see our daughter will be the ones that most likely gave pieces of their own hearts to our Cadence. I also brought Sees Candy truffles for the other nannies to share, and a baseball cap and blue diamond almonds for the director. Words or gifts cannot express the gratitude I have for those that have kept our daughter safe for us from 4 days old, till our day we unite with her forever.
On our way to the hotel, we received several grins from Chinese people on busses or bicycles. Some people looked, then told the person they were with to also look, but it was more that we are a novelty in this place. They realize we are out of place, but it is amusing and interesting to the residents. With all the crowds, I do not feel unwelcome. And I do not feel threatened. One of my first thoughts after the short flight from Shanghai to Hefei, on the bus ride to the hotel , was, when we happen to venture out, is that it's possible her birth parents will pass us? They wouldn't know, as she was only 4 days old when Cady was found. Or perhaps, we will pass another adult that has gone through the process of leaving their child somewhere in the near or distant past. All I can do is look at these people with gratitude and admiration for their courage. I hope that, beyond my obvious pride that I will show when I stroll with Cady on the streets of Hefei, I will also show them the respect and kindness, that, even if I knew how to speak Mandarin, my heart could say to these people with more sincerity.
It's now 5:06 am. We have agreed to go downstairs with the other couples at 7 am for breakfast. We will toast to our daughters, and to us. We will share twinkles in our eyes and nervous laughs. Anxiety will be high, of that I'm sure. Breakfast is served directly across from the main entrance to the hotel. Our daughters will be walked in to the hotel from that entrance, at 9am, and be whisked upstairs to the second level of the hotel. Will we recognize her as she is carried through the front door of the hotel? Will my heart know who she is? What a wonderfully blissful moment I'm feeling.
We did venture out yesterday. On our stroll to a store, I looked down and a lady who appeared from nowhere was suddenly kneeled down and squirting white goo onto my shoe (tennis shoe), from a tube. I looked at her in semi-shock and said, "take that off my shoe". She then proceeded to pull out a wooden foot stand from her jacket and forced my foot onto it. As I put the weight onto my other foot, she started shining my tennis shoe. Every time I said "no" she pulled my foot back onto the her wooden foot stand and squeezed more goo onto the shoe, then rubbed it off more. Finally, Scott and I had to say NO several times and walk away. She tugged on my sleeve, got in front of us, tugged on Scott's sleeve and all the while insisting on 2 Yuen.....2 Yuen!!! Apparently, she expected me to pay her for accosting me. Eventually she left but not before she started yelling out something, of which my interpretation was, "Those Americans insisted that I work for FREE!!" I probably would have paid her , 1. if I had anything less than 10 yuan on me at the time, and 2. If I would have actually insisted that she shines one tennis shoe as she had obviously claimed to the crowd.
We did make friends with the doorman though. In his proudest English he told me that Clinton had stayed at the Peace Hotel when he was president. At first I wasn't sure what he was saying. We had told him that we're from California, and he said, "Ahhhh.....Cweee-town ! " Now, that isn't all that much by itself, but in Santa Rosa, California, where I lived for most of my years, there's a shopping mall called Codding-Town. So, as he continued to say Cwee-town, I was more astounded that he knew I lived in a town that has a shopping mall named Codding-Town, than trying to make anything else out of what he was saying to me. Finally, he said ....Washington DC. Then it dawned on me that he is not a psychic, that knew I had ventured out to Codding-Town by the mere mention of California, but that instead he was saying Clinton.
(The pictures we've taken from our hotel and from the streets, are linked above and labeled "Shanghai").
Quite honestly, I know that we have butchered the pronunciation of our daughter's Province and city. We have been saying that she's in Hefei, in the Anhui Province. Now writing this makes me seem very educated to some, but the entire time, Ive been pronouncing it as if I were saying Hee-Fee, in the An-Huey Province. We spoke to an elderly couple at the airport, and when we pronounced it He-Fe, in the An Huey Province they gave us some blank stares. I wonder if for a moment they thought we were talking about a shopping mall somewhere too. We found out the true pronunciation is like saying (Cafe-but substitute H for C) in the (Anh-Way) Province.
We've been studying small sentences in Mandarin.... I love you, don't cry, I am your mama, I am your daddy......But, now that I've learned that I've not even pronounced her home province correctly until now, I'm concerned that if I try to comfort Cady in her native tongue she will wonder why I'm telling her something crazy. Perhaps the best language is the unspoken language. A smile, a hug, a kiss, a gentle touch on the cheek.....and I think the heart says more than any tongue can convey.
We leave today for Hefei, and on the flight over, we should meet up with the other two couples, perhaps go out to dinner with our guide.....Then tomorrow morning we meet our daughter.
We arrived to Shanghai 19 hours after we left our house, due to the two flight delays that Scott spoke of, then it was another 45 minute drive to the hotel...yet another adventure. The hotel had a driver pick us up at the airport, and he drove back as if he owned the road. It was probably 80 mph the entire way to the hotel, with honks, swerves and barely stops. It's definitely aggressive driving in China. I think the road rules are made by the men, as a result of no woman drivers that I could see. Now I understand why elderly Chinese women drive so cautiously in the states, they are probably used to being the passengers back home, in China. We passed a restaurant on the way to the hotel. The restaurant had large windows with aquariums built in to them, so you could choose your meal before you go in, I suppose that could be comparable to having a menu taped to the entrance door. Dinner is definitely freshly cooked in China.
I'm going to try to convince Scott to venture out today, but I understand his apprehension. Our guide is going to meet us tomorrow in HeFei, so for today, we are on our own. We don't know the language and we don't really know our way around. We know that the two other couples are to be in this same hotel today, but we have no way to meet up with them until the flight in to HeFei tomorrow. Our adoption agency was great in telling us where we must all stay, but was not so great in telling us much else about how to meet up with the other two couples while in the hotel in Shanghai, and although we ended up with their email addresses, we didn't get that info until a couple of weeks ago, so it was the last thing on our minds to remember to contact them. On a positive note, Scott is having Coca~cola withdrawls, so he has agreed to venture out to the point of finding a store that has coke. Hopefully we will take at least 2 or 3 pictures of Shanghai before the night is done.
For anyone reading this blog, that is still waiting for a referral, I do not envy you, but know that it will come. All the waiting and anticipation makes the end desire to have your baby in your arms that much sweeter. And I can tell you now, that just as I have been informed, as soon as your day comes, all the pain of waiting two or three or four months longer than a pregnancy would take, seems to fade away.
To all our family and friends, thank you for the emails and encouragement and questions asking “When are you getting that baby?”. You have all been so supportive, and embraced this time in our lives with open arms and open hearts. Mom, thank you for letting me ramble..(I hope you can view the blog now), Dad & Deanie, thank you for sharing your experiences with us…and thank you for your emotional support. We wish you could have gone with us, but when it’s all said and done, this must be a trip we are destined to experience between Scott and I, as a family, with our daughter.
“Auntie” Cherie…Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you sooo much. You have been more excited for us than we have been. You tickle me with your delight. You make me proud that I have you as a friend.
“Auntie” Kris and “Uncle” Paul…I can’t say enough about how supportive you have been, and thanks for taking the dogs and our funky cat for 2 weeks.
To our friends at work….too many to name at this time. Both Scott and I are blessed with such warm people in our lives. Believe it or not, you have made this journey an enjoyable one. Sometimes the wait was unbearable, and the support I’ve gotten at work, and the love that people have shown is overwhelming. Scott has received the same from his friends at work. And we have each come home and told each other about our experiences at work, as they have unfolded. Silly things from Keith walking by my desk and saying under his breath, “Yer gonna be a mommy….”, to Shirley giving us the computer game for Cadence and helping to inform others of the process, to Clara wanting to baby-sit..(ok, have our kids play together), to Beth asking “When are you going? Are you excited? When are you going?” and thinking of my so sweetly on my last day at work, with the cute bear she gave me that says MOM on it. I keep thinking of more, but if I name them all, I would be late for the shuttle. But all of you have been so supportive. Thank you.
And to our online friends…What a wonderful connection we have made. Thank you for all of your support when things seemed like nothing was going to happen for months on end.
OK, I have to get going, or I won’t have everything packed.
Love to all,
Next online stop….Shanghai, China.
I can’t sleep…Yeah, I know. It’s 1:45 am. My eyes hurt. I have a headache, and I have to be up to go to work again at 6:00am. But, I CAN’T SLEEP! It’s only 9 days before we leave for China. And only 11 days before we’re holding Cady. I lay down and try to sleep…but my mind races. So, here I am, writing for the blog. We made our final reservations today, for our flights in to and out of China.
I have no idea how I’m going to get through these next few days….
And now, without further adieu;
Here it is...confirmation of our final itinerary:
March 16 @ 11:30 am- Leave Sacramento
March 17 - @ 7:30 pm- Arrive in Shanghai
(China time is 16 hours ahead of California, but it is a 15 hour trip, so we will arrive in Shanghai @ 2:30 am March 17, California time and 4:30 am March 17, South Dakota time )
March 19 - @ 2:45 pm arrive in Hefei, where Cadence lives now
(March 18 @ 10:45 pm California time)
March 20 @ 9:00 am GOTCHA DAY!
(March 19 @ 5:00 pm California time)
March 24 arrive in Guangzhou (Where the US Consulate is)
March 29 @ 9:30 am - Leave Gaunzhou to come back home
(March 28 @ 5:30 pm california time)
Arrival back home, to Sacramento Airport on March 29, 12 noon (California time)
We’ve been stressing about getting the two final things that we’ve needed in order to go to China.
TA and CA.
TA is Travel Approval. Essentially, because China is a closed country, we needed approval from the Chinese government to travel into China. After TA was received from China on Friday, then our adoption agency had to contact the US Consulate for a CA (Consulate Appointment). The US Consulate in China is where we will be legalizing the adoption before returning home, and we needed to confirm an appointment with the US Consulate, and then all the dates become centered around that appointment.
So, Friday we received TA from China, and today we received CA from the US Consulate. It’s not as soon as we were told that we’d be traveling, but at least it’s a confirmed plan. What that really means for us, is that we will be leaving California on March 17th, and receiving Cadence on March 20th (Monday)…. Keep in mind that the 20th in China is actually the 19th in the USA, so essentially, that means by the time it’s 9pm on Sunday ,March 19th here in California, we’ll have Cadence in our arms. We will then be legally adopting her on March 27th at the US Consulate in China, and returning home on March 29th.
On a side note; I have a wonderful husband. He’s been the person to keep me calm when I was at my wits end with all the paper work, for several months. And now he tells me often that he wants his baby girl. I knew it would be wonderful to share parenthood with him, but I had no idea how much he would truly want to be her daddy.
We have a few things we need to do before we travel. We need to call the credit card company to inform them that we will be in China, we need to get a kiddy gate for our master bathroom, and we need to get a few last minute items…oh yeah, and I think we will be shopping for car seats this weekend. Other than that, the upside to preparing to travel this Friday is that we really have nothing more to do but wait for the next week to come and go.
We are definitely ready for the Cady chase.
We’ve been so busy packing and repacking and shopping. The most difficult part of packing, is that Cadence is 16 months old. That puts her in the “in between” stage between baby and toddler. Therefore, I find it necessary to pack bottles and tippy cups….18mo and 2t….diapers and underwear… ok so you get the idea. WAY too many things to pack, not to mention any and all meds just in case she’s sick when we get her. I can’t pack any shoes for her because we have no idea what size shoes to get. But it’s all fun and exciting anyway. We can only have 44 lbs each, for check in luggage, but we can each have a shoulder bag and a carry-on, with no weight limits. One of the carry-ons will have snacks, and a tube of peanut butter and a tube of jam, and even some bread, because Scott already isn’t too fond of American-Chinese food….So, he will have a difficult time filling his belly with REAL Chinese food. And I suppose, when the menu includes whole, boiled fish with the head still in tact, or shark fin soup, or meals so fresh that you pick the critter out of the tank for the chef to cook, I can’t blame him for wanting a few comforts from home, like a PB & J once or twice.
A while back, I had the ambition to make a quilt for Cadence out of material that our friends would give us. It never happened. I got busy, one thing lead to another, and I didn't go out and buy a sewing machine, as had been the original intent. Too many other things needed to be bought, and too many other things needed to be done, to bring our baby home.
My mom had sent several swatches to me, and I spoke with a friend at work about her sewing skills. She offered to put together a little something for me, out of the material swatches my mom had sent. I was expecting something very simple.
Today she presented me with this beautiful blanket. It was such a wonderful feeling to know that Ramona had done this, and done it so well. It's very apparent that a lot of attention went into detail. The swatches were of no particular color scheme, and Ramona put them into a pattern that makes them just fit together so well. The back is a very soft material with tiny heart shaped flowers on it, the same tone of green as many of the patches.
Throughout this journey, I think one of the most fulfilling aspect so far, has been the warm, heartfelt acceptance from others. I've received emails from people wishing us the best, and been touched by the stories of others that I would have never even known existed, if we were not also adopting. I've become friends with Renita...the phone agent helping me with our school loans, now also following our journey. I've conversed via email with Ann, an aunt of another person adopting from China. I've received many comments from my friend, Happy, that responded to our blog in the early months, as a random act of finding our blog...He's been cheering us on the entire time, continually making me smile or laugh. And the friendships I've gained from other adoptive parents, and the wonderful support from my friends on MSN Adopting from China all of you have been my backbone through this wait. I've gained so much, and appreciated the sincere kindness, generosity, and positive wishes from friends and family on our journey to Cady. My mom is overjoyed that she will soon have her new grandbaby home. As we go to China, I knew we would be taking with us our friends and family. That was the original purpose of this journal, to be able to share our experiences with our close friends and family, as they happened. But as the months have progressed, I've realized that we are taking many more friends with us to China, friends that we've met along the way.