Alright, so I have tweaked the site to keep everything loading properly for our visitors, as well as allowing the updates to work easier for us. We won't be doing any other updates to this page, but we're certainly not letting it vanish. It will always be here, and I will definitely keep links up between all of the sites as they are. I've trimmed all of the posts on this site down to our arrival in the United States, and moved over those which followed to the new location. You can go onward to Chapter 2 by clicking here, and in the upper left sidebar. This next chapter will have a new RSS Feed, so if you are using bloglines or any other type of blog tracker, please be sure to update.

Thank you, and we appreciate your understanding.

So here's a video clip from one of our nights in Guangzhou. Once this little girl figures out that she can do something on her own, there is no stopping her. At that point, she doesn't want help from anyone. She got the spoon a little off, and her aim needs some work, but you just have to reward enthusiasm like this.

It was harder to find music I liked for this one, but I think in the end I was able to get it right.



For those new to the site, or those wanting to look back at previous months postings, just look for the month listings (Feb, Mar) on the left side there.

This posting began just as replying to the many comments we were unable to respond to while in China. We read every one, and all were appreciated equally. Mainly I was trying to address questions and some specific comments, and it just got longer and longer, so I brought it in as a post on its own. Words really cannot express how wonderful it was to share this with so many friends.


Tammy

Thanks for reading! We're settling in very well, and to be honest, Cady is behaving as if she has been with us forever. I'm still waiting for the ball to drop as I have often read about issues that the kids have when brought home, and if it happens I will be ready, but right at this point, we seem to be fantastic. I think that with as terrible as the trip home was, it might have gotten her so mixed up with sleep, that we may have accidentally gotten her on the right track immediately. She went to sleep in her crib a little late at about 9:30, but we're close to the 8:30 bedtime we had in China.
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Scott

Yeah yeah, haha.. I'm so glad that my *pout* suffering caused you so much joy. Too bad we didn't have pictures to make a comic, eh?

Kidding aside, thanks for the welcome home, and all of the great wishes while we were in China. While there were times when we had to choose between answering the comments and getting more news and pictures up. So I didn't get to offer my appreciation, I can tell you now that it was so very nice to have the feeling that there were people back at home sharing with us.

The Scott versus United Airlines fight was much longer than the fight between Scott and the soft cushy warm bed, but the outcome was the same. No competition. Yeah, I lost them both.

Thanks so much again, and believe me, we will be going to Washington, and we would be very excited to spend some time with you and your family. Hugs to Kai.

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Shelley

Thanks as always for sharing this with us. We're so proud of our little girl for how strong and brave she has been through all of this that she had to endure. She held out better than Karen and I did at times, though she also got to sleep better and only had to be cute in her stroller while Mommy and Daddy had to keep up with schedules and appointments, and tours, and paperwork, and.. well, you've been there.

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Audrey!

Thanks for reading. It's all about steps. Our hearts go out to you and all of the others who are seeing news about so many delays in getting off to your children. It makes all of the frustration we had with our own delays seem small in comparison, but it will all be forgotten when your baby is in your arms.

I do hope you plan on blogging your own journey. It's beneficial not just to friends and family, but also to your own personal state of mind. It can be very therapeutic. Many people are jumping into it with no skill level, so if you worry about that, then don't. People don't care how the site looks, but in sharing your angst and your joy. I hope that if you do, you will email me to let me know because I would love to follow along.

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To everyone who has written throughout this journey but did not get a direct response to their questions.

Nicole: Cady will be so happy to play with you when she sees you. We are hoping to see you very soon.

Marc: Sorry, but I told Cady that Uncle Marc wanted her to wear black and silver and she said, "Bah bah bah bah" Which I could only assume means "Absolutely NOT" in Mandarin baby talk.

Ed and Deanie: We know the work must be done, but we are also tickled that you stopped working daily to watch the Cady Chase. Your granddaughter will save you some hugs and you might even get a kiss, if she decides on it.

Cherie: You're right, she is both beautiful and smart. She's gonna keep us both in line.

Beth: Karen says she will be in soon with Cady. Thanks for cheering us on.

Cindy: I got to talk to Mom on the phone, and though Cady has no idea what a phone is, we did get her to giggle for her near the phone. We're excited to look for a time to come visit.

Tiffany: I'm glad you could follow along with us, and we're anxious to bring Cady to come see her South Dakota family. I'm confident that you will adore her as much as we do.

David: Wow! It was pretty amazing that we would always get a comment or an email with advice about something exactly one day before we needed it. It was almost as if you could read our minds.. Well I guess there was this blog :) Thanks much!

Monica: We checked and checked in every city we were in. If China has Mountain Dew (not even Mellow Yellow), they hide it from tourists. Paul will have to find a substitute. I'm sorry.

Jeff and Anne: I sent you an email. We'll help in every way that we can. Karen, Cady, and I will help you guys get through. Don't be shy about calling.

Yoli: You'll get there. If our hearts could influence time, you would have your Sally now. We're here for you.

Terra: You will find out just how playful she is when we do get to visit. Just when we think this little girl is tired, she finds another burst of energy. We don't know where she gets it, but we suspect that she keeps that inside her cheeks. I hope to see you soon and thanks for reading.

BiBi: I'm really sorry, but the blanket was hand-made by Cady's auntie from South Dakota. She absolutely loves it and does find it comforting when trying to hide from that sleep thing that catches her sometimes. She doesn't realize yet that the blanket actually just helps her sleep.

To everyone who has been following and leaving such wonderful comments for us. Even the short congratulatory messages were so welcomed. No matter how many times I write it, I can never feel that I can convey the real appreciation we have for everyone to be reading our journal.

We will continue writing and continue adding as we go, and we have no plans to stop.

Thank you all again.

So yesterday was our flight home. What a test of human stamina and endurance. I managed to go the entire trip without taking in the water, with tight mouthed showers and an extra vigilance in staying away from the glasses of water and ice. Everything went well until the last night in Guangzhou. I don't know what I took into my body to cause this, but it happened. Without going into details (you really don't want that) I will tell you that the illness lasted about 7 hours, and ended with a.. well, like I said, you don't want details.

Sadly, this sick period coincided with the time we needed to be packing for coming home. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife that did all of the work. Truth be told, she would have had to do most of it anyhow, as she would have wanted to know where everything was packed, and to know how safe everything was as packed, but if not sick, I would have been able to at least do what I was told (See, both a good Daddy and a good husband!)

Morning came fast, though I was waking up every hour or so because of, well, you know, that sickness mentioned above, and we got downstairs, fed baby, finished checkout and got on the bus to the airport. Everything working out just fine and on time, right? Now you might think this is all going too smooth, right? I know that I felt that things were going too well. So how did it go? Let's find out, shall we?

The flight to Hong Kong went very well. Cady took it all in stride, and all in all it was pretty normal. No real issues at all.



Here's a picture of us in the Hong Kong Airport waiting for our big flight to San Francisco. Karen and I were both tired from the previous night, and I was still queasy from the sickness, but we were doing alright. Besides, we would be able to sleep on the plane, right?

No. Not even remotely close.

You see, on a plane with lots of adopted children, there was occasional crying, and some fussing, but all around very peaceful except for one child. This child was not crying though, but he was screaming. Not the kind of screaming that is accompanied by crying, but that "I want it now" scream. Not a scream that you could adjust to either. I describe this not metaphorically, or in any exaggeration. Imagine a skyrocket whistling from the ground into the sky. That loud, ear piercing whistle as it heads to the sky. Now imagine that skyrocket not leaving the ground, but just sitting there whistling, screaming at you from 10 feet away. Now imagine this screaming lasting not 10 seconds, but lasting 30 or more seconds, only stopping for the child to gather up enough breath for another. Imagine these bursts lasting for 20 minutes or more, with occasional breaks of up to 30 minutes at the most. Imagine this all lasting for the entire 11 hour flight.

Initially I felt for the mother, and I even told Karen something like "It's not her fault. She just got the child and is learning how to deal with these things" until she pointed out an important point. This was not an adopted child. It was her biological son. Now, I'm definitely not one to judge another person's parenting, particularly since I am just now starting my own journey as a real parent. Who knows what mistakes I will make, and what damage I may do to my own daughter. This is different. I really believe that you cannot raise a child from the womb to have him turn out like this without doing something very very wrong. My sympathy for this woman was gone. Cady slept some on the flight, but this screaming was even waking up the other children. Children raised in an orphanage. Children who sleep while 50+ other babies cried continually.

Once again, Karen was the big trooper. Even though Cady did sleep some, the screaming made for a very fitful rest for her, so she was tossing a lot. I tell you this right now, you would be foolish to not buy a seat for your child at least on this flight home. On one of these big planes, it is rare, but the plane can literally drop 300 feet very rapidly. Rapidly enough to cause a non-belted child to fly into the air, then land with an impact that could kill them. It did not happen on our flight, but it can happen. For more practical reasons, having the extra space to change diapers, sit the baby, and breathe was worth the cost of the ticket. Anyhow, because of this restlessness, Karen stayed awake for the flight to ensure that even when sleeping, Cady would not roll off of the seat. I managed some sleep, getting in 30-60 minute drifts. We didn't know it at the time, but it would come in handy later on.

Landing in San Francisco, we proceeded to the Immigration line to get the magical stamp, making Cady a U.S. Citizen. Know in advance that these people do not seem to have any joy in their job. One person who was doing the paperwork sounded very Hispanic, and the other one helping her was Asian, yet neither of them even had a hint of excitement at the fact that our beautiful angel was becoming a citizen. Stamp, stamp, flip flip, hereyougothankyouverymuch. You're not allowed to even take pictures there because it is an immigration service, so we couldn't even do that. Even though our next destination was Sacramento, because it was an international flight, we had to get all of our bags and take them through customs. This is what everyone has to do with every flight coming into the country, so it was not a special thing, just a very annoying one. So we're a quick 1 hour flight from home. We're exhausted, but so close to home, a warm soft bed, real food, and the beginning of our new lives together. Only a 1 hour flight.

Cancelled.

They cancelled our flight to Sacramento. Not delayed, but completely cancelled. I absolutely hate United Airlines. These people will take every opportunity to blame weather and flight control to catch up from their own incompetence. They never take responsibility for their own lack of efficiency. Rather than actually work hard to catch up the flights that are delayed, they just chose to cancel one. Even after that, they still ended up an hour behind, then having to delay other flights. "It's ok though," they told us. "We have you booked for the 10:30 PM flight to Sacramento." That would be in 12 hours.

The United Airlines staff then got to meet Mama and Papa Bear. They finally told us that there was a 12:30 flight that they had under-booked. Now under-booked really only means that they did not over book it, and had just enough seats sold as were on the plane. Chances slim, but we were assured that we, having a very hungry child, 2 diapers left, and parents that were running on about 18 hours awake, would get priority on any vacant seats. So we waited. We had no choice. We could either try to get our checked luggage (with what was left of our diapers and dry cereal) and have to go through all of the check-in again, or try to wait it out. So Cady got cereal mixed with cold water while Mommy and Daddy struggled to stay awake. 12:30 came, and guess what? This flight was now delayed, and slated to board at 1:30. So again we waited. I went to the counter about every 20 minutes to ask them if we were wasting our time waiting, or if we should try to call someone from Sacramento to come get us. This would have been another 4 hours to get home if we could find someone able to leave work and drive out to get us. Finally we were told that everyone who had a ticket had checked in but one person, and that the priority would go to the person with the most express miles or something. We were not getting on this flight. We had no options left. Well we could get our bags and go to a hotel and sleep, then try to sort it out the next day or something with fresh minds.

Nope. We couldn't get on that plane, but they sure managed to put our bags on it. They were on their way to Sacramento.

Ugh. What could we do??

Well in a mindless haze, not even sure if we were thinking properly, we rented a car. I drove to Sacramento after not sleeping for 20 hours or more. We made one stop to get something for Cady to snack on, and some caffeine for myself, but we made it to Sacramento. We didn't even bother to go to the airport for the luggage, as we would then be wanting to drop off the car. Well we still had no way to get from the Airport to home. There was the shuttle, but my best 2 ladies had been through enough. I took them straight home.

At home, we called our best friends and complete saviors Paul and Kris, and they came over from work (yes we used our baby to draw them over) and took me to turn in the car and get the luggage. I hadn't been able to eat all day due to the sickness from the previous day, so I was on no food and no sleep, and now no mind. I was riding on pure instinct, and that was failing me too.


Thanks only to them, we managed to get everything done, and we could then rest in our own beds...



...at least until morning.

First bit of news is that I had to change the look of the site a little. Once that first row of linked pages was used up, the second row was hard to see unless you knew to look at them so I changed it a little so that the links are now easier to see and navigate. I added in a couple of pages of pictures yesterday from our last day in Hefei and our first day in Guangzhou.

Now then, on to the fun.



Yesterday was Red Couch Day. For those of you not in the Chinese adoption loop, Red Couch Day is a traditional event. No matter where in China you are adopting from, your last city is Guangzhou, where the remaining paperwork is completed. This is the city where the U.S. Consulate is, so everyone comes through here. This is a very large city, though most often people will either stay at the White Swan Hotel, or the Victory Hotel. There are adopting parents everywhere. It's an amazing thing. The White Swan Hotel has many many red couches around the public areas, and it became tradition near the last days to gather up your own group, dress up the kids in the traditional chinese clothing that is sold at nearly every shop around the place, and take your pictures on one of the couches. Now, I originally had thought there would be just one main couch, but the reality is that there are a couple of areas with about 8-10 couches each. You just pick one, drop the kids in, try to get lots of pictures, then later on you get to sort out which of those pictures has the largest number of kids smiling (or at least not crying) and keep the good ones. We seem to have lots of red-eye issues, and I was able to repair much of it, but there is still some glow in the eyes on some shots. As you can see above, I only need one of the many pictures taken during the day, but I will upload all of the good ones for you anyhow.

Enjoy, and thanks for watching.

Well we have been out of action for a few days, so this will be very lengthy.



Remember how I posted before my flight how my greatest source of stress with this whole thing was the airport stuff? Well I sure do have a story to tell you.

We were up on time Friday morning (Thursday morning in the U.S.), checked out, and ready for our guide to take us to the airport for our flight to Guangzhou, where we complete our paperwork with the U.S. Consulate. There was one problem though. Cady and Macy were from the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute) in Hefei, and so we had received our final notary stamps on adoption day (the day that the giggles video was shot). Now the third in our group had not received their notary on that day, and they were told that they would have that from the SWI when they visited. Unfortunately, when they did visit, the director was not present, and no officials were there at all. They were then told that they would have it by Friday morning at noon before we got on the plane. Our guide also warned them though that if something else went wrong, and it did not arrive, they would have to wait in Hefei until it did arrive. They would be stuck there until they had that notary!

Luckily, at the very last moment, the notary arrived, and we were all able to go to the airport together. After check-in, as we were going through the inspection point, our guide gave us a last wave, and told us that there was a chance that they flight might be delayed a little. The flight was scheduled to be at 2:15. At about 2:10, we hear an announcement that our flight was delayed "indefinitely". What?? So we waited, and watched the flight board. Now, all we could understand on this board was the flight number (MU5225) and the time, which now was blank. After 3 more hours of waiting, someone from the airport came to talk to us. She did not know much english at all, and was trying to tell us that she was going to give us a voucher for the hotel by the airport? Voucher? We asked if the flight was cancelled, and she did not understand. We finally called our guide again on his cell phone, and he spoke with this woman. They were getting us hotel rooms just for the children to rest until the flight, expected to take off at 7:00 now. Ok, so we were being put in a room for a couple of hours.

Now, this was supposed to be a short flight. We had just eaten, and had fed the babies, so the food for the babies had been checked. Our carry-ons were just light snacks like Cheerios, crackers, and such. This is not what a baby needs.

On our gotcha day, I had promised my baby that she would never be hungry again. Now this promise was being tested. So the women stayed with the babies, and the men hunted for food. This is an area of Hefei where nobody speaks english. We managed to get some people to understand that we had to feed our babies, but all they could tell us was that there was no food. None.

A very kind girl walked us about a quarter mile from the airport hotel to this very small shop, that only sold junk food. We managed to get some milk, and some muffins that were not too sweet, and then some crackers. It was not a great meal, but we worked with what was available. When we shopped at a grocery store, an average purchase for me was like, 6 16 ounce bottles of Coke, a big bottle of water, and some snack food. Easily $25-$30 in the US, but it in Hefei it was usually about 30 Yuan (about 4 dollars). This little bit of junk food was 55 Yuan. Yeah, we were robbed in China. This woman knew we were getting food for our babies, and that we could go nowhere else. We could not argue and paid her angrily.

At about 6:45, someone from the hotel knocked on our door, and said it was time to go to the airport again for our flight. The hallways in the hotel flooded with people all coming out of their rooms and heading to the airport. Apparently in China, if your flight is delayed long enough, the airport lets everyone have a room to stay in until the flight is due. The flight was delayed due to weather. Can you imagine a U.S. airline doing this for a delay caused by something they could blame on the weather? If I wasn't so stressed at that moment, I would have been impressed. No wait, it gets even better.

Back at the airport, we got back up to our gate area, and there was a huge line of people by a desk. Every time someone got to the front of the line, they would sign something, and then they would be handed money. Well, encouraged by John, the more adventurous of our group, we decided to get in that line too. We got to the front, and we were given a paper to sign, and we asked why we were getting money. In China, if your flight is on time, for whatever reason, you get part of your ticket cost back. This flight to Hefei was about 480 Yuan each, and we were now just each refunded 100 Yuan because the plane could not land in our airport due to weather. Wow.

Anyhow, our flight finally got off, and we landed about 10 PM, and then checked into the White Swan in Guangzhou at about midnight. Sadly, we were scheduled for a big day on Saturday, and had to be up and ready to go at 9 AM. We unpacked only what we had to, fed Cady, and tried to get some sleep.

Saturday was loaded with first the doctor visit, then the Six Banyan Temple, then some shopping. Oh boy.



We survived the doctors visit, and Cady passed well enough. One of the doctors even squeezed Cady's thigh (she has big thighs) and said "very strong!"



I'm not normally a fan of putting up naked baby pictures, but she loves my hat, and she is just so cute.

After the doctor, we went to the temple. I know there are lots of things that are important and have to be done in Guangzhou, but this one was most important to Karen and I. Cady is from China, and though not all Chinese people are Buddhist, many are. I was raised Lutheran, but my beliefs are now different. I believe that there are many paths to God, and none of them are more important to others. The most important thing is that you strive towards being the best person that you can. We asked Janet, our guide, first if she would help us pray and offer incense at the temple. She was very happy when we asked, and helped us with all of this. After that, we entered the temple and asked her again for her help in asking one of the monks to offer us a blessing. She did so immediately, and told us after the blessing that the monk gave our family a very special blessing for long life and happiness.



Next stop was the temple tower itself. This thing is very tall. I don't remember how many levels this thing has, but it is an accomplishment to reach the top. I just kept moving my feet forward and up. I believe it is 9 stories but I really can't remember. I do know that I made it to the top and my legs were quite rubbery.



After that, it was shopping, and then an exhausted sleep, but not before honoring a promise that I made to Hui-Hui.



We'll get you some more pictures soon, hopefully tomorrow I will get all of them organized right.

This was our first day off since getting Cady. There were no tours, no appointments, and we just got to play all day. Today was another big one, as we started with a little dress up and some running around. We let Mommy have the time with Cady today, and I had to play the disinterested one. With all of the other attempts to get Cady to be with Mommy more, I was nearby, and watching, and talking. We would do ok until Cady would hear me, or see me watching her, then she would insist on coming to me. Our morning consisted of me sitting at the computer and not interacting with her. It was hard for me because I didn't even get my morning kisses.

I *sniff* survived.

Karen got some good and much needed bonding time, and Cady really started seeing Mommy as someone other than the one to go to when hungry and when it was bath time. I've done some of this too, but Mommy is the main one for that. I'm learning it.

Daddy's reward was worth it.



People have asked about the bonding process, and how to help keep it even so that one parent is not excluded from the process. It absolutely varies for each child, but I will generalize a few things that I have learned that might help. These things work with a toddler level child, who has a very clear understanding of what's going on.

When we get our babies, we try to be oh so gentle. They are so precious, and we reach out slowly, touch softly, caress, gently hug, and even try to play very carefully. This was my habit when we got her, and though I would not change this behavior for the first day, when we were just trying to understand each other, but day two is a good time. This is a very different situation than raising a child from the womb, but think about any child from anywhere at this age. We grab, poke, wiggle, spin, dance, and we play hard. Add to this the fact that these children have been raised very abruptly. Never harshly mind you. I can attest to that. I have seen the orphanage, and I unless they painted the walls just for our visit, and told everyone in this very big building to be extra gentle with the children in case we walked in, then I can tell you that the people working here want every child to get through this. My point is that these kids are handled as children, not as priceless vases. Being treated too softly is totally alien to them.

I emphasize this though. Start softly, and build up fast. When we got Cady, she behaved like a 3 month old. That first few hours of bathing, dressing, and talking, she was in a near comatose state. She had no idea what was happening, and she was frightened. All she did was sit on the bed with us and looked around. She didn't move her arms or legs or anything. Soft was good. Within a few hours she was more like a 7 month old. At this point we didn't even know if she could walk. She was becoming curious about things, and would lean over to try to see things out of her line of sight. She noticed the stacking cups. She started exploring her toys. By the next day, she was more alert and moving around. We learned that not only could she walk all by herself, she was very good at it, and really enjoyed it. You've seen the video.

If I could do it all over again, I would have started with a little more play appropriate to her age. Still softer than normal, but beginning to ramp it up a little. We didn't do this. We still treated her softly. In the end, and at this point, we have overcome and surpassed what we may not have gained on day two, but it made the day tougher than it had to be.

Another good tip that we learned just last night and have been working on ever since is that I think the child will always pick one parent and begin that bond. Where they are from they know many people, but they come to rely on only one. Just that one person for feeding, changing, playing, and being put to bed. They may not understand what this pair of people is supposed to be about. I personally feel that no matter what you do or how you do it, the child will pick one.

Now here's where it gets important. When the child has picked their parent, two things need to happen.

(1) First, that other parent needs to never stop trying. Grab that child and steal kisses. You bet she or he will cry, but you take them anyhow. Remember, we're retraining them that there is more than one now. Let the child cry, this is why most agencies recommend you spend time alone in the room together. These children will cry, and it will hurt you to the core. Take those hugs, and take those kisses. You and the child deserve them. Always keep it a game. Make lots of funny sounds, make wiggly airplane fingers and poke them in the belly with splashing or crashing sounds. Make your kisses really really loud. Pucker those lips, lean in squeaking, pop that kiss on the cheek, and move back really fast. I think actions that linger like holding the lips in too long or hugging too long seem to intimidate the child. I know that it kinda scared Cady so it was no longer mentally stimulating. This caused her to back off and resist. They will resist no matter what, but when it becomes fun, and a game, well guess what. I think this defines bonding.

(2) The chosen parent needs to take the things that helped the bonding start needs to begin sharing those things. When Cady first started attaching to me, I would grab her foot and kiss it, then I would grab a hand and kiss it, then I would pop a kiss on her cheek. She never even laughed or giggled at this. She just stared at me. Eventually she would lift her foot up really high so that I could kiss it. She would let me give it a kiss, and she would then pull it away really fast, then put a hand to my face and the same. Once we caught on to how to do this, I started sharing games with Karen. I would grab her hand and kiss it, then pull her hand over to Mommy to kiss it. She didn't like that at all, but we would try it a few times, then move on to something else. Later on we would try that game again, and maybe a new game. Cady already liked grabbing my thumbs and making me clap my hands. Karen would push her hands inside of that, and I would help Cady clap my hands really fast so we could catch Mommy's hands inside. This became a game that we all liked.

Even then, it was a very tough day. We had to do all of these things. There were times in which I had to pretend that I was not interested at all. She would come to my leg while sitting in the chair, and she wanted me to pick her up or play. I just pretended not to notice. It was hell, but then again, nobody said this was going to be easy.

This afternoon Karen found her little girl. I want to encourage her to write about it herself, but it was very special to me. I was helping Macy's parents with getting some images uploaded to a separate page so that they could share with their own families, and Karen took advantage of the moment, by playing with Cady in her own way. They played some games that Mommy thought up, and they did the things that girls liked, like playing with ribbons and bows in a fun way. They did very well together. I'm proud of Cady's new Mommy. She had the tougher part, and she worked very hard and overcame it, and I think we are very close to the balance that we wanted.



Another thing that I have learned is that it was 2 steps forward, and 1 step back. Every time this little girl went to sleep, we lost some ground. We had to start some things over, but this time it didn't take an hour of work, it took 15 minutes. Once again right now as I am typing this, I am partially ignoring my daughter so that she can learn that Mommy is right over there shaking her box of animal crackers. This time though, I can look down at her, smile at her, even talk to her. I just can't pick her up yet. You know what? She walked over to Mommy for those crackers. She brought them back over to me, but I am still typing. Don't come to China thinking this is a vacation, you're coming here to work and learn.

This has gotten very lengthy to write, and I do remind you, read this advice with caution. Orphanage or not, these children are every bit as individual as those in the United States. Your milage on this advice will vary.

Oh yeah, you all get a full page with lots of pictures of my little baby in Steelers gear. Look for the link at the top.

Nicole, we thank you for reading this so much. Tell your own daddy that there are other teams in the NFL, and that some of them even win Super Bowls.

We love you all very much and look forward to visiting.

Karen and I just spent an emotionally exhausting morning at the SWI in Hefei visiting the place where Cady lived her first 16 months. We always felt it, but we now know that she was absolutely loved. Never in my life have I wept so much from happiness and relief than this day. I did get video, and, to be honest, it may be something we decide to share only with Cady. I think that we will share it with you all at some point, as we want to help others to understand this all, but I don't want to promise anything until it all sinks in.

During our gotcha day, we were allowed to ask questions to the Hefei Assistant Director about Cady. We asked if we could visit the orphanage and spend time with her nanny, and we were told that we could. It's important that those people who are not familiar with this to know that this is not always allowed by orphanages for various reasons.

We then asked about Yang Xiang, a boy who's Mommy and Daddy (from the Yahoo Hefei message boards) are working very hard to come to him as quickly as the paperwork allows. We asked if we could take pictures of him for his Mommy and Daddy. We were very relieved to hear a "yes". Right when the Orphanage director saw his picture, she knew him.

Karen and I were very honored to be able to do this for Yang Xiang and his Mommy and Daddy. We both feel that if someone had been able to do this for us to see our Cady, it would help the time a little. He was a little startled when he was presented in front of a whole crowd of people waving cameras and all talking to him at once, so he did cry a bit while we were doing this. We told Yang Xiang and his nanny that his Mommy and Daddy wants to be here now for him, and they are trying very hard to get here as fast as they will be allowed. I have used the word "important" many times in my writings here, and this is no exception.

It is very important that this boy's Mommy and Daddy know that he is being given lots of love. He is being very well taken care of.

I had intended on just getting something written quickly so that I could get these pictures uploaded for his parents, but I wrote a little more than originally intended. Karen and I are really worn out, and Cady is just now waking up. The link to his pictures are at the top with his name.

So we have 2 other couples with us, as you have seen. Three children close in age. Each child has her own lovable points, and each has her own little quirks. Usually at this point, the child has a stronger bond with one parent over the other. From what I have read, it is more often the mother that gets this bonus. In the case of Anne Marie and Macy, momma is definitely the one. Now for you fathers out there, you need to understand that first, it's very true when they say that if you find yourself in this situation, you should not worry. With love, and a relentless persuit of that little girl's heart, you will get yours, and there is nothing sweeter.

Anne Marie is the younger of the three at about 11 months. Whenever one of the other 2 cries, she becomes very concerned. watching her, you can tell that she wants so much to help. Her level of empathy is incredible.

Macy is the clown. I see her giggling and laughing so much. She has so much energy and excitement in her little frame that's just bursting. She has so much emotion. The downside to this is that she does have down points, and she cries as hard as she laughs. We all know that she is going to be just fine, but I have heard Cady cry, and when she is very tired and doesn't want to sleep, we have to let her cry until she is asleep. Luckily for Daddy it only takes about a minute or two, but after 30 seconds, Daddy's heart is shattering. Macy's Mommy and Daddy have enough love to overcome, and though I am sure it rips at their hearts, I know they will be just fine.

Cady to me seems the veteran of the three. She always has a very determined look on her face. She does not smile much, she hasn't talked much, but she gives hugs, and even today she insisted that Daddy kiss her. Did you hear that?? She insisted that Daddy kiss her! I know all parents want to believe this, but I think we have a very smart girl on our hands here. She studies everything to every detail. When we gave her the stacking cups, she was able to stack the first three (smallest to second to largest) immediately. She didn't even need us to show her once. She would take 2 cups, hold them up in the air, and study them very hard. She would then put the smaller one into the one just bigger, and then so on. The fourth cup took he about an hour of study to get right, but now she is stacking cups at at least a 3 year old level ;p

Today we signed our official papers, and now by Chinese law, we are a family. Gotcha day is important, but this is the day that we will celebrate with Cady each year.

Just before the meeting for all of this, Cady and I had a long lasting moment. While laying on the bed, she would put a foot out to me to kiss. When I would kiss it, she would put it down, and then give me her hand to kiss. After the hand, we would rotate in a foot, and maybe the other foot. We did this for about an hour. This was the first time we got smiles. Cady's smiles up to and including this point were very faint. We could see them clearly, more of a smirk, but they were definitely there. Near the end of our play, I was seeing a little of her teeth in her smiles.

We had reached a bonding point. She was letting me be her Daddy.

I had to carry her down to the meeting, as she didn't want Mama to do that. I was already worried for Karen, as I want her to be bonded with us both equally. Karen is not worried about this, as she is very happy that Cady and I are getting this chance that neither of us have ever had. A real chance to be Daddy and Daddy's Girl.

Now I remind you that today was the first time we got smiles. Real smiles. At the meeting, something wonderful beyond compare happened. Yeah, we got to sign papers. We got to give away quite a bit of money. We became an official family. But something of the purest beauty happened today, and we got it right on video. We have absolute full mouthed smiles, which would have been enough, but then we got laughter. I've been waiting for the last 12 hours to get this up so everyone could see, but once this little girl decided that I got to be Daddy, well, if I even disappear into the bathroom, she wells up and cries. We're working on a balance.

Anyhow, that's a lot of words, and ironically a thousand more will not be able to convey what happened to us today. We'll let the video do the rest. You WILL want your sound turned on for this.

So many wonderful things are happening right now. We don't even need to look hard for that "this is proof that this is right" moments. I definitely want to share the things that are happening, and I will, I promise. She really likes us close though, so great for us, maybe not so much for those reading right now. Well, you can guess who wins this one.

But second place winners do get some pictures. See the Gotcha link above.

One of the other couples, Leigh and Rusty, with their daughter Macy (we never asked them the right spelling for her name). She is the same age as Cady and from the same SWI.

The gotcha moments are on film, but they will take some editing that may not get done til we are at home. For now, please enjoy this.

We're still a little busy (she's such a good girl!) but we have to share with you all.



Our angel.

Will post more after some more loving time.

There are times in my life when I feel an importance to do something. Often times I may not even know what it is that I am supposed to do, but I just have that urge to accomplish something. Right now is one of those times in which I feel the urgency to write this.

I need to leave this message right now.

Right now, it's 5:45 in the morning here in in the city of Hefei, in the province of Anhui, in the country of China.

Right now, Cady, you are probably awake, and someone is fussing with you to get you fed, changed, and happy. You have no idea what is about to happen to you, but I promise that it is something wonderful. It may not feel like immediately, but today you are beginning your new life. The life you were meant to have. The life you deserve.

Daddy is really nervous right now as he types this. He knows that he and Mommy will be saving all of these messages for you so that you can have them always, and you can see the joy that we have shared with our friends. He knows that this message is very important. As you grow, we will share these things together. You will get to see all of the wonderful wishes that everyone from all over the world have offered you. At this moment, people all over this world are happy for us for having you, and happy for you for having us. In about 3 hours, we will be together, and that will be forever.

I want you to know that this moment right now is the most important moment of my life. If we do our jobs right, by the time you are reading this, you will already know how I can tell you this even now before we have ever touched, held hands, or held on to each other "oh so tight".

I love you.
-Daddy

Arrived at Shanghai airport 4 hours before flight (the checkin lady said "you know your flight is 4 hours from now?" I told you that I stressed about these things.)
Flight went alright
Cady comes to us at 9:00 am (in about 12 hours fro this posting)
We shopped in a grocery store today (everyone looks at us like we're from Mars)
I uploaded some new pictures (See Hefei Day 1)
Very very tired, and anxious for tomorrow to come.
I promise to get you pictures, but not til after Cady gets 1000 magic kisses (that won't take long)

I can't describe what's in my head right now. I have no words.

Stay tuned.

I find it interesting how I worry about so many things here like catching the flights, getting our luggage through, and all that, but I'm not worried about the fact that sometime on Monday my life is going to change forever. I sit here trying to think of some great inspirational words, but I really don't have anything. I'm really unsure about why that part doesn't cause me any worry. I've read lots of blogs, and I know of the obstacles ahead, but I sit here stressing about flight times and luggage.

As Karen posted, we did go out. My warning to you when in China and on foot is to not stop or slow down. I swear, every time I walked out of the hotel, the same guy asked me if I wanted a Rolex (or likely a Rollex if you know what I mean).

Today we have to get in a taxi by ourselves, and trust that the driver will take us to the airport. Apparently the hotel here has a shuttle to the airport that's 45 minutes away, but not one to the airport just down the road. More stress.

My spirits are still high, and we'll get there.

Thanks for reading.

Do you remember when I made a list of all of the things that cause me stress about this whole trip?

Things got interesting right from the start. I will say, the airport shuttle was on time. We sure had a good start anyhow. From there it just went down.

It all started with this.


Now, we were scheduled for 2 hours over in San Fran, so there was a little cushion. Even as we were checking in with the airline, they began warning us of possible delays in our flight. Now, if a delay causes you to miss a connecting flight within the country, the inconvenience is generally 4-8 hours of waiting for the next flight. United only goes to Shanghai out of San Francisco once per day. That means if we miss our flight, we would be stuck in San Fran overnight.

I am normally a fairly non-confrontational person. I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, and that there are other people that need to get places too. Yesterday I was a papa bear being kept away from my baby. We were boarding our plane at about 12:00, and, as everyone was already in a hurry (they had connecting flights they had to now rush to as well) we were all boarded and ready to go by 10 after the hour. This is good right? We can now get this plane off the ground so that we actually have a chance to make our connecting. Well, it seems that all flights were being delayed, so there was this mad rush to fill our own plane with people who were now trying to bump up their own flight into ours. This takes time. This takes time that we could be used.. you know.. getting in the air with at least a hope of making our own flights. I spoke up. I spoke up a lot.

Anyhow, we made it into San Fran with about an hour before the flight, so we rushed to the next terminal (yes it was another terminal) and made it with about 20 minutes to spare before boarding.

Well guess what. Yah, the flight from San Fran to Shanghai was delayed by an hour.

If someone on the plane in Sacramento could have just told me that, I wouldn't have had to worry.

But they didn't tell me.
I asked, but they could only give me the "We don't know."
So I did stress.

I won't bore you with the details, but just a few observations from a 13 hour flight.

I learned that I can't sleep on a plane. I sure did want to, and I did try, but I can't sleep sitting upright, or whatever angle they allow.

I can manage to jam other body parts under my butt to help relieve the numbing feeling. I learned this while on the plane. It takes a special kind of limb management, as tucking my foot under my thigh generally causes that limb to then fall asleep. At that point I can then go on to another limb in place. Rinse and repeat. Impressed? I sure was.

I learned that a flight that takes 13 hours but, due to time changes, encompasses a 28 hour difference feels like a 28 hour flight. I think at some points I literally felt that I was losing some of my sanity.

Anyhow, though you will see the posting times in local California time (I'm keeping the PowerBook on Cali time so I know when I can bother friends.) It's a vastly different time here. Right now it is 8am on Saturday. We may not venture far from the hotel today, because we have no contacts in Shanghai. If something goes wrong, we're completely on our own. We will be venturesome in Hefei and Guangzhou, but not here. I'll get some pictures from around the hotel area though, as I am told there is a place on the roof that looks over a nice piece of the city.

Be well everyone. less than 48 hours until the Cady Chase becomes a Cady Capture.

Well, I made it through the workday, and the pets are snug and happy with the petsitters. I'm worn out and anxious at the same time. I suspect that I will have no trouble falling asleep tonight, but I think that the moment I wake up, I will definitely be up.

The electronics are nestled, all snug in their cases
with visions of snapshots and clips of cute faces..

Yeah, I'm a hack. I already know that.

By request, I have tried enabling the RSS for the site. Sadly, the software tells you how to do everything but that, so I have no idea if it will work. If not, sorry, but time has run out. I can try to tinker when time permits, but well.. you know.. I have this whole adoption thing to take care of ;p

I'm gonna be a impossible to deal with until we actually land in Shanghai. I stress over getting to the airport on time, I stress over the luggage, I stress over what we will and will not be allowed to actually take with us (will they say "You can't bring that on the plane."?) I'll stress about being stuck on a plane for 10+ hours. I'll stress about whether we will land in time for our next flight, and, if I am very very lucky, I will stress about whether I snored too loudly or drooled too much while sleeping through the ENTIRE flight. I have no issues at all about flying, just everything before and after.

Pity Karen. Please keep her in your thoughts. She will need all of the support you can offer.

Have no doubts, we will be updating often, and Karen will be posting a lot more once we get there. She may even offer a message before we head for the airport in the morning.

As always, we thank you for reading.

Ok so I moved the site again. I'm really sorry for those of you who bookmarked the last one only to now be asked to bookmark a new one. I needed to get this over to solve some issues that iWeb wasn't able to do for me.

So we got a wonderful present from Kris and Paul, our bestest friends around here. They have offered us so much support for our whole journey, and we love them dearly. They bought this Pooh bear for Cady, and I was playing with him all day at work yesterday.

So we leave in 2 days. I have no idea how I'm going to get through another workday..