The Cady Chase

Alright, so I have tweaked the site to keep everything loading properly for our visitors, as well as allowing the updates to work easier for us. We won't be doing any other updates to this page, but we're certainly not letting it vanish. It will always be here, and I will definitely keep links up between all of the sites as they are. I've trimmed all of the posts on this site down to our arrival in the United States, and moved over those which followed to the new location. You can go onward to Chapter 2 by clicking here, and in the upper left sidebar. This next chapter will have a new RSS Feed, so if you are using bloglines or any other type of blog tracker, please be sure to update.

Thank you, and we appreciate your understanding.

So here's a video clip from one of our nights in Guangzhou. Once this little girl figures out that she can do something on her own, there is no stopping her. At that point, she doesn't want help from anyone. She got the spoon a little off, and her aim needs some work, but you just have to reward enthusiasm like this.

It was harder to find music I liked for this one, but I think in the end I was able to get it right.



For those new to the site, or those wanting to look back at previous months postings, just look for the month listings (Feb, Mar) on the left side there.

This posting began just as replying to the many comments we were unable to respond to while in China. We read every one, and all were appreciated equally. Mainly I was trying to address questions and some specific comments, and it just got longer and longer, so I brought it in as a post on its own. Words really cannot express how wonderful it was to share this with so many friends.


Tammy

Thanks for reading! We're settling in very well, and to be honest, Cady is behaving as if she has been with us forever. I'm still waiting for the ball to drop as I have often read about issues that the kids have when brought home, and if it happens I will be ready, but right at this point, we seem to be fantastic. I think that with as terrible as the trip home was, it might have gotten her so mixed up with sleep, that we may have accidentally gotten her on the right track immediately. She went to sleep in her crib a little late at about 9:30, but we're close to the 8:30 bedtime we had in China.
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Scott

Yeah yeah, haha.. I'm so glad that my *pout* suffering caused you so much joy. Too bad we didn't have pictures to make a comic, eh?

Kidding aside, thanks for the welcome home, and all of the great wishes while we were in China. While there were times when we had to choose between answering the comments and getting more news and pictures up. So I didn't get to offer my appreciation, I can tell you now that it was so very nice to have the feeling that there were people back at home sharing with us.

The Scott versus United Airlines fight was much longer than the fight between Scott and the soft cushy warm bed, but the outcome was the same. No competition. Yeah, I lost them both.

Thanks so much again, and believe me, we will be going to Washington, and we would be very excited to spend some time with you and your family. Hugs to Kai.

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Shelley

Thanks as always for sharing this with us. We're so proud of our little girl for how strong and brave she has been through all of this that she had to endure. She held out better than Karen and I did at times, though she also got to sleep better and only had to be cute in her stroller while Mommy and Daddy had to keep up with schedules and appointments, and tours, and paperwork, and.. well, you've been there.

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Audrey!

Thanks for reading. It's all about steps. Our hearts go out to you and all of the others who are seeing news about so many delays in getting off to your children. It makes all of the frustration we had with our own delays seem small in comparison, but it will all be forgotten when your baby is in your arms.

I do hope you plan on blogging your own journey. It's beneficial not just to friends and family, but also to your own personal state of mind. It can be very therapeutic. Many people are jumping into it with no skill level, so if you worry about that, then don't. People don't care how the site looks, but in sharing your angst and your joy. I hope that if you do, you will email me to let me know because I would love to follow along.

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To everyone who has written throughout this journey but did not get a direct response to their questions.

Nicole: Cady will be so happy to play with you when she sees you. We are hoping to see you very soon.

Marc: Sorry, but I told Cady that Uncle Marc wanted her to wear black and silver and she said, "Bah bah bah bah" Which I could only assume means "Absolutely NOT" in Mandarin baby talk.

Ed and Deanie: We know the work must be done, but we are also tickled that you stopped working daily to watch the Cady Chase. Your granddaughter will save you some hugs and you might even get a kiss, if she decides on it.

Cherie: You're right, she is both beautiful and smart. She's gonna keep us both in line.

Beth: Karen says she will be in soon with Cady. Thanks for cheering us on.

Cindy: I got to talk to Mom on the phone, and though Cady has no idea what a phone is, we did get her to giggle for her near the phone. We're excited to look for a time to come visit.

Tiffany: I'm glad you could follow along with us, and we're anxious to bring Cady to come see her South Dakota family. I'm confident that you will adore her as much as we do.

David: Wow! It was pretty amazing that we would always get a comment or an email with advice about something exactly one day before we needed it. It was almost as if you could read our minds.. Well I guess there was this blog :) Thanks much!

Monica: We checked and checked in every city we were in. If China has Mountain Dew (not even Mellow Yellow), they hide it from tourists. Paul will have to find a substitute. I'm sorry.

Jeff and Anne: I sent you an email. We'll help in every way that we can. Karen, Cady, and I will help you guys get through. Don't be shy about calling.

Yoli: You'll get there. If our hearts could influence time, you would have your Sally now. We're here for you.

Terra: You will find out just how playful she is when we do get to visit. Just when we think this little girl is tired, she finds another burst of energy. We don't know where she gets it, but we suspect that she keeps that inside her cheeks. I hope to see you soon and thanks for reading.

BiBi: I'm really sorry, but the blanket was hand-made by Cady's auntie from South Dakota. She absolutely loves it and does find it comforting when trying to hide from that sleep thing that catches her sometimes. She doesn't realize yet that the blanket actually just helps her sleep.

To everyone who has been following and leaving such wonderful comments for us. Even the short congratulatory messages were so welcomed. No matter how many times I write it, I can never feel that I can convey the real appreciation we have for everyone to be reading our journal.

We will continue writing and continue adding as we go, and we have no plans to stop.

Thank you all again.

So yesterday was our flight home. What a test of human stamina and endurance. I managed to go the entire trip without taking in the water, with tight mouthed showers and an extra vigilance in staying away from the glasses of water and ice. Everything went well until the last night in Guangzhou. I don't know what I took into my body to cause this, but it happened. Without going into details (you really don't want that) I will tell you that the illness lasted about 7 hours, and ended with a.. well, like I said, you don't want details.

Sadly, this sick period coincided with the time we needed to be packing for coming home. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife that did all of the work. Truth be told, she would have had to do most of it anyhow, as she would have wanted to know where everything was packed, and to know how safe everything was as packed, but if not sick, I would have been able to at least do what I was told (See, both a good Daddy and a good husband!)

Morning came fast, though I was waking up every hour or so because of, well, you know, that sickness mentioned above, and we got downstairs, fed baby, finished checkout and got on the bus to the airport. Everything working out just fine and on time, right? Now you might think this is all going too smooth, right? I know that I felt that things were going too well. So how did it go? Let's find out, shall we?

The flight to Hong Kong went very well. Cady took it all in stride, and all in all it was pretty normal. No real issues at all.



Here's a picture of us in the Hong Kong Airport waiting for our big flight to San Francisco. Karen and I were both tired from the previous night, and I was still queasy from the sickness, but we were doing alright. Besides, we would be able to sleep on the plane, right?

No. Not even remotely close.

You see, on a plane with lots of adopted children, there was occasional crying, and some fussing, but all around very peaceful except for one child. This child was not crying though, but he was screaming. Not the kind of screaming that is accompanied by crying, but that "I want it now" scream. Not a scream that you could adjust to either. I describe this not metaphorically, or in any exaggeration. Imagine a skyrocket whistling from the ground into the sky. That loud, ear piercing whistle as it heads to the sky. Now imagine that skyrocket not leaving the ground, but just sitting there whistling, screaming at you from 10 feet away. Now imagine this screaming lasting not 10 seconds, but lasting 30 or more seconds, only stopping for the child to gather up enough breath for another. Imagine these bursts lasting for 20 minutes or more, with occasional breaks of up to 30 minutes at the most. Imagine this all lasting for the entire 11 hour flight.

Initially I felt for the mother, and I even told Karen something like "It's not her fault. She just got the child and is learning how to deal with these things" until she pointed out an important point. This was not an adopted child. It was her biological son. Now, I'm definitely not one to judge another person's parenting, particularly since I am just now starting my own journey as a real parent. Who knows what mistakes I will make, and what damage I may do to my own daughter. This is different. I really believe that you cannot raise a child from the womb to have him turn out like this without doing something very very wrong. My sympathy for this woman was gone. Cady slept some on the flight, but this screaming was even waking up the other children. Children raised in an orphanage. Children who sleep while 50+ other babies cried continually.

Once again, Karen was the big trooper. Even though Cady did sleep some, the screaming made for a very fitful rest for her, so she was tossing a lot. I tell you this right now, you would be foolish to not buy a seat for your child at least on this flight home. On one of these big planes, it is rare, but the plane can literally drop 300 feet very rapidly. Rapidly enough to cause a non-belted child to fly into the air, then land with an impact that could kill them. It did not happen on our flight, but it can happen. For more practical reasons, having the extra space to change diapers, sit the baby, and breathe was worth the cost of the ticket. Anyhow, because of this restlessness, Karen stayed awake for the flight to ensure that even when sleeping, Cady would not roll off of the seat. I managed some sleep, getting in 30-60 minute drifts. We didn't know it at the time, but it would come in handy later on.

Landing in San Francisco, we proceeded to the Immigration line to get the magical stamp, making Cady a U.S. Citizen. Know in advance that these people do not seem to have any joy in their job. One person who was doing the paperwork sounded very Hispanic, and the other one helping her was Asian, yet neither of them even had a hint of excitement at the fact that our beautiful angel was becoming a citizen. Stamp, stamp, flip flip, hereyougothankyouverymuch. You're not allowed to even take pictures there because it is an immigration service, so we couldn't even do that. Even though our next destination was Sacramento, because it was an international flight, we had to get all of our bags and take them through customs. This is what everyone has to do with every flight coming into the country, so it was not a special thing, just a very annoying one. So we're a quick 1 hour flight from home. We're exhausted, but so close to home, a warm soft bed, real food, and the beginning of our new lives together. Only a 1 hour flight.

Cancelled.

They cancelled our flight to Sacramento. Not delayed, but completely cancelled. I absolutely hate United Airlines. These people will take every opportunity to blame weather and flight control to catch up from their own incompetence. They never take responsibility for their own lack of efficiency. Rather than actually work hard to catch up the flights that are delayed, they just chose to cancel one. Even after that, they still ended up an hour behind, then having to delay other flights. "It's ok though," they told us. "We have you booked for the 10:30 PM flight to Sacramento." That would be in 12 hours.

The United Airlines staff then got to meet Mama and Papa Bear. They finally told us that there was a 12:30 flight that they had under-booked. Now under-booked really only means that they did not over book it, and had just enough seats sold as were on the plane. Chances slim, but we were assured that we, having a very hungry child, 2 diapers left, and parents that were running on about 18 hours awake, would get priority on any vacant seats. So we waited. We had no choice. We could either try to get our checked luggage (with what was left of our diapers and dry cereal) and have to go through all of the check-in again, or try to wait it out. So Cady got cereal mixed with cold water while Mommy and Daddy struggled to stay awake. 12:30 came, and guess what? This flight was now delayed, and slated to board at 1:30. So again we waited. I went to the counter about every 20 minutes to ask them if we were wasting our time waiting, or if we should try to call someone from Sacramento to come get us. This would have been another 4 hours to get home if we could find someone able to leave work and drive out to get us. Finally we were told that everyone who had a ticket had checked in but one person, and that the priority would go to the person with the most express miles or something. We were not getting on this flight. We had no options left. Well we could get our bags and go to a hotel and sleep, then try to sort it out the next day or something with fresh minds.

Nope. We couldn't get on that plane, but they sure managed to put our bags on it. They were on their way to Sacramento.

Ugh. What could we do??

Well in a mindless haze, not even sure if we were thinking properly, we rented a car. I drove to Sacramento after not sleeping for 20 hours or more. We made one stop to get something for Cady to snack on, and some caffeine for myself, but we made it to Sacramento. We didn't even bother to go to the airport for the luggage, as we would then be wanting to drop off the car. Well we still had no way to get from the Airport to home. There was the shuttle, but my best 2 ladies had been through enough. I took them straight home.

At home, we called our best friends and complete saviors Paul and Kris, and they came over from work (yes we used our baby to draw them over) and took me to turn in the car and get the luggage. I hadn't been able to eat all day due to the sickness from the previous day, so I was on no food and no sleep, and now no mind. I was riding on pure instinct, and that was failing me too.


Thanks only to them, we managed to get everything done, and we could then rest in our own beds...



...at least until morning.

I

It's now 9 pm China time, and we have so much to pack. We went to the US Consulate today, for our swearing in ceremony. There wasn't too much ceremony to it. Basically, the woman at the front said to raise our right hands and then she asked, "Do you swear everything you have told us in your paperwork is true and accurate?" All hundred (plus) families said, "I do". She then said, "You are now free to go home". The two other families we have traveled with went to dinner with us for a last get-together in China, and we said our good-bye's. We are now in our hotel room trying to figure out how to pack everything. We leave our hotel tomorrow morning (Wednesday) at 6 am, China time, and we will arrive home, at the Sacramento Airport at 12 noon, California time. What a wonderful journey this has been so far. It's as if we have been a family since the birth of our daughter. She is ready to meet her relatives and the friends that we love back home. We hope to very soon take a trip to South Dakota to visit all of her cousins and grandma and uncles and aunties. And another trip very soon, as well, to Seattle to visit Grandma and Grandpa. There are so many exciting times waiting for Cady and for us as her parents. But don't think for one minute that Cady has been caught. We are still chasing her.
Love to all,
Karen, Scott and Cadence.

Next stop......Home. Here's to the softer bed waiting for us back home.

Our Gotcha Day was last Monday. We were told on Sunday night that our babies would come to the hotel at 9am, and delivered to the second floor. We were also told by our guide that breakfast is served buffet style in the lobby starting at 7am.
So, of course we all met downstairs at 7am to have breakfast, knowing (assuming, anyway) that they wouldn't bring the babies in through the front door, we assuned they would find a back door and whisk them upstairs to the second floor for us at 9am. While we ate breakfast, we met two couples that were visiting with their 10 year old daughters, Becky and Caitlan, who were adopted in China (I think on the same day, together) as babies. They were all so happy for us to be having Gotcha Day that morning.

(Becky and Caitlin in the Novotel Hotel, in Hefei, the morning of our Gotcha Day)

We then went upstairs to the second floor around 8:30 am to wait for the babies. at 8:45 am our guide came upstairs and said that the babies were waiting for us downstairs in a conference room. DOWNSTAIRS? What?? Our guide cheated!!! He obviously told us upstairs so that we would not be downstairs when they came in. It was a wonderful cheat though.

The day after arriving in Guangzhou, we were having breakfast at the White Swan Hotel, and we saw the same two couples with their daughters. We showed them our new daughters, and one of the mothers said that the morning of our Gotcha Day, when we met them in Hefei, as they were getting into the taxi to go to the airport to Guangzhou, they saw a car drive up with two babies that could walk, and another that could not. (Cady and macy are walking as they are 16 and 17 months old, Anne Marie is not walking yet because she is only 11 months old. She said to her husband that she knew they were our babies and she had to get out and watch them come into the hotel. Amazingly, she was so excited about our Gotcha Day that she rushed out of the taxi and took picutres of Cady and Macy walking in to the hotel with caretakers, and of Anne Marie being carried in. She had no idea she would see us again, but it was that much of a wonderful memory for her own Gotcha experience that she wanted pictures. After speaking to them again in Guangzhou, we got their email addresses and they will be sending us the pictures that she took. What a wonderful experience to tell Cady.


(Caitlin and Cady in Guangzhou) (Becky and Cady in Guangzhou)


It was so exciting to see those families again in Guangzhou and also to know that one of the mothers actually got pictures of our babies walking into the hotel. It was a piece of our Gotcha that I can experience all over again, from a new angle.

...from the looks of this picture, he will have to wait in line for those kisses later on. So, get them while you can, daddy.

First bit of news is that I had to change the look of the site a little. Once that first row of linked pages was used up, the second row was hard to see unless you knew to look at them so I changed it a little so that the links are now easier to see and navigate. I added in a couple of pages of pictures yesterday from our last day in Hefei and our first day in Guangzhou.

Now then, on to the fun.



Yesterday was Red Couch Day. For those of you not in the Chinese adoption loop, Red Couch Day is a traditional event. No matter where in China you are adopting from, your last city is Guangzhou, where the remaining paperwork is completed. This is the city where the U.S. Consulate is, so everyone comes through here. This is a very large city, though most often people will either stay at the White Swan Hotel, or the Victory Hotel. There are adopting parents everywhere. It's an amazing thing. The White Swan Hotel has many many red couches around the public areas, and it became tradition near the last days to gather up your own group, dress up the kids in the traditional chinese clothing that is sold at nearly every shop around the place, and take your pictures on one of the couches. Now, I originally had thought there would be just one main couch, but the reality is that there are a couple of areas with about 8-10 couches each. You just pick one, drop the kids in, try to get lots of pictures, then later on you get to sort out which of those pictures has the largest number of kids smiling (or at least not crying) and keep the good ones. We seem to have lots of red-eye issues, and I was able to repair much of it, but there is still some glow in the eyes on some shots. As you can see above, I only need one of the many pictures taken during the day, but I will upload all of the good ones for you anyhow.

Enjoy, and thanks for watching.

This one goes back in time a bit, but I did want to share it with everyone. This one might tax you if you are not madly in love with Cady, as it is a bit lengthy at just under 10 minutes in length.

Editing takes a long time, and I couldn't find the points to cut out easy enough. It's all precious to me.

Anyhow, it's some good fun that we had in the hotel room back in Hefei on the cheerleader day.

In the beginning you can even see Karen watching her in the mirror and pretending not to see her. She tends to be a bit more reserved if she thinks she is being monitored.

Well we have been out of action for a few days, so this will be very lengthy.



Remember how I posted before my flight how my greatest source of stress with this whole thing was the airport stuff? Well I sure do have a story to tell you.

We were up on time Friday morning (Thursday morning in the U.S.), checked out, and ready for our guide to take us to the airport for our flight to Guangzhou, where we complete our paperwork with the U.S. Consulate. There was one problem though. Cady and Macy were from the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute) in Hefei, and so we had received our final notary stamps on adoption day (the day that the giggles video was shot). Now the third in our group had not received their notary on that day, and they were told that they would have that from the SWI when they visited. Unfortunately, when they did visit, the director was not present, and no officials were there at all. They were then told that they would have it by Friday morning at noon before we got on the plane. Our guide also warned them though that if something else went wrong, and it did not arrive, they would have to wait in Hefei until it did arrive. They would be stuck there until they had that notary!

Luckily, at the very last moment, the notary arrived, and we were all able to go to the airport together. After check-in, as we were going through the inspection point, our guide gave us a last wave, and told us that there was a chance that they flight might be delayed a little. The flight was scheduled to be at 2:15. At about 2:10, we hear an announcement that our flight was delayed "indefinitely". What?? So we waited, and watched the flight board. Now, all we could understand on this board was the flight number (MU5225) and the time, which now was blank. After 3 more hours of waiting, someone from the airport came to talk to us. She did not know much english at all, and was trying to tell us that she was going to give us a voucher for the hotel by the airport? Voucher? We asked if the flight was cancelled, and she did not understand. We finally called our guide again on his cell phone, and he spoke with this woman. They were getting us hotel rooms just for the children to rest until the flight, expected to take off at 7:00 now. Ok, so we were being put in a room for a couple of hours.

Now, this was supposed to be a short flight. We had just eaten, and had fed the babies, so the food for the babies had been checked. Our carry-ons were just light snacks like Cheerios, crackers, and such. This is not what a baby needs.

On our gotcha day, I had promised my baby that she would never be hungry again. Now this promise was being tested. So the women stayed with the babies, and the men hunted for food. This is an area of Hefei where nobody speaks english. We managed to get some people to understand that we had to feed our babies, but all they could tell us was that there was no food. None.

A very kind girl walked us about a quarter mile from the airport hotel to this very small shop, that only sold junk food. We managed to get some milk, and some muffins that were not too sweet, and then some crackers. It was not a great meal, but we worked with what was available. When we shopped at a grocery store, an average purchase for me was like, 6 16 ounce bottles of Coke, a big bottle of water, and some snack food. Easily $25-$30 in the US, but it in Hefei it was usually about 30 Yuan (about 4 dollars). This little bit of junk food was 55 Yuan. Yeah, we were robbed in China. This woman knew we were getting food for our babies, and that we could go nowhere else. We could not argue and paid her angrily.

At about 6:45, someone from the hotel knocked on our door, and said it was time to go to the airport again for our flight. The hallways in the hotel flooded with people all coming out of their rooms and heading to the airport. Apparently in China, if your flight is delayed long enough, the airport lets everyone have a room to stay in until the flight is due. The flight was delayed due to weather. Can you imagine a U.S. airline doing this for a delay caused by something they could blame on the weather? If I wasn't so stressed at that moment, I would have been impressed. No wait, it gets even better.

Back at the airport, we got back up to our gate area, and there was a huge line of people by a desk. Every time someone got to the front of the line, they would sign something, and then they would be handed money. Well, encouraged by John, the more adventurous of our group, we decided to get in that line too. We got to the front, and we were given a paper to sign, and we asked why we were getting money. In China, if your flight is on time, for whatever reason, you get part of your ticket cost back. This flight to Hefei was about 480 Yuan each, and we were now just each refunded 100 Yuan because the plane could not land in our airport due to weather. Wow.

Anyhow, our flight finally got off, and we landed about 10 PM, and then checked into the White Swan in Guangzhou at about midnight. Sadly, we were scheduled for a big day on Saturday, and had to be up and ready to go at 9 AM. We unpacked only what we had to, fed Cady, and tried to get some sleep.

Saturday was loaded with first the doctor visit, then the Six Banyan Temple, then some shopping. Oh boy.



We survived the doctors visit, and Cady passed well enough. One of the doctors even squeezed Cady's thigh (she has big thighs) and said "very strong!"



I'm not normally a fan of putting up naked baby pictures, but she loves my hat, and she is just so cute.

After the doctor, we went to the temple. I know there are lots of things that are important and have to be done in Guangzhou, but this one was most important to Karen and I. Cady is from China, and though not all Chinese people are Buddhist, many are. I was raised Lutheran, but my beliefs are now different. I believe that there are many paths to God, and none of them are more important to others. The most important thing is that you strive towards being the best person that you can. We asked Janet, our guide, first if she would help us pray and offer incense at the temple. She was very happy when we asked, and helped us with all of this. After that, we entered the temple and asked her again for her help in asking one of the monks to offer us a blessing. She did so immediately, and told us after the blessing that the monk gave our family a very special blessing for long life and happiness.



Next stop was the temple tower itself. This thing is very tall. I don't remember how many levels this thing has, but it is an accomplishment to reach the top. I just kept moving my feet forward and up. I believe it is 9 stories but I really can't remember. I do know that I made it to the top and my legs were quite rubbery.



After that, it was shopping, and then an exhausted sleep, but not before honoring a promise that I made to Hui-Hui.



We'll get you some more pictures soon, hopefully tomorrow I will get all of them organized right.